a/n What a cliffhanger, eh? Sorry about that! Also, I'm so sorry I didn't get this chapter up sooner! Thank you so much for reading/following/favorite-ing/reviewing! If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be writing.

I've kept you on the edge of your seats for almost a month so without further ado…

Chapter 33 ~Broken~

-Zuko-

He couldn't sit there beside her and pretend like everything was normal. Everything was different now. So he did what he hoped to be the honorable thing, he walked away. Every step was painful, but he continued on, never looking back. His world seemed dark and void of all meaning. He walked away as if to escape the darkness, but the farther away he got the worse his situation looked. Dead. Dead. Dead. He kept repeating to himself. She's dead. Agni he didn't know what to do now, so he just kept walking.

It was as if he was losing her all over again. Dead. Dead. Dead. He hadn't wanted to believe the stranger in the city. He had never wished for someone to be lying so as much before. But the man had spoken the truth. Zuko's mother was dead and now without Katara… he might as well be too.

The setting sun had faded into only a memory when he finally stopped. He had reached a lake of sorts and sat down by its edge. As hard as he tried, he couldn't block out the conversation he had with the (at the time) stranger.

"Why don't we find a better place to talk?" the stranger suggested.
"I'm good here, thanks." Zuko replied, he didn't want to let his guard down too much.
"Fine. Do you mind if I sit?" Zuko shrugged and the man sat down in the empty road. "Won't you sit too, young Fire Lord?" He plopped down. "Isn't that better?" The stranger tried to smile, but Zuko just grunted.
"How do you know Jinzuk?" Zuko asked, getting right to the point.
"Did." The stranger corrected, "Jinzuk died several years ago."
"Oh." Agni! It was a dead end. Pointless. What am I going to tell Katara? He had known Jinzuk would be very old, but he had really hoped the man would still be alive.
"I'm so sorry. What's worse is he died before…" the stranger stopped as if afraid he had said too much.
"Before what?" Zuko asked, his voice a little harsher than he intended.
"Before his daughter returned."
"What?!"
"She returned." He repeated, "Several years after she left she came back."
"What do you about his daughter?" Zuko asked. He couldn't help the excitement that rose in him.
"Not much." The man sighed, "Ursa grew up in Hira'a, but left not long after she came of marrying age. It was never really clear what happened to her. Many thought her dead. Of course, her old betrothed was suspected of causing her disappearance, but nothing could be proven."
"Her betrothed?"
"Yes, she was promised to a man named Ikem." Zuko wracked his brain, trying to remember if he had ever heard that name before. Nothing.
"How did she know him?"
"He was her childhood friend."
"Is he still alive?" This Ikem will know where she is.
"Oh, yes, he's still alive. So is Rina, come to think of it."
"And…" Zuko gulped, "Do know where I could find him or Ursa?" The man looked Zuko right in the eye as he began to speak.
"I'm sorry, Zuko, but your mother died a few years ago." No. No. No! He jumped to his feet.
"No!" he shouted, "You're lying! Who are you? Why should I believe you?" The stranger's face looked anguished. Why? Unless… "You're him. Aren't you?" Zuko accused, "You're Ikem."
"Yes, yes I am."

Turmoil boiled through Zuko as he sat by the water. He wasn't feeling one emotion, but every emotion. He felt angry, distraught, sad, unsure, and many others he couldn't name.
"Agni!" he screamed into the quiet surrounds. What was he supposed to do? He had already assumed his mother had died long ago, but knowing that she had lived…only to die a few years ago. The thought crushed down on his heart. He had loved her so much. She taught him to be who he was. He had loved her for that. He had loved her so, so much.

He desperately wanted to feel Katara's arms around him, but he couldn't face her. He had made her promises very carefully, always making sure he could fulfill them, never wanting to let her down and betray her trust. Now, the one objection she had to their union… His hopes for a happy life with Katara had been dashed away. One hot tear streaked down his face. No. He ordered himself. If he let the tears come, they'd never stop. He brought his knees up and tucked his head, holding in his sobs. No sound escaped his open mouth as his body wracked with invisible tears.

-Katara-

She was too hurt, in too much shock, to go after him. Threw her tears, she watched him walk away. What now? Maybe he just needed some time to process everything. She hoped with every fiber of her being that he'd come back.

He had said he couldn't marry her, but she didn't understand why. He acted as though he was being forced away. Did he think she didn't want him anymore? No. He couldn't be that dim. Could he?
"Excuse me?" a voice said and Katara sprung to her feet. A man around her father's age stood by a tree, looking at her. "May I please sit down by your fire?" She looked him up and down and he seemed harmless, but she wasn't sure. What was he doing out here anyways? From his clothes, she could tell he was Fire Nation, but that didn't necessarily mean he was dangerous. "I'm not a Firebender." He said, as if hearing her thoughts, "In case you were worried." She smiled very faintly.
"Uhm, okay, sure," she agreed and he walked over. He sat down, legs crossed, by the fire. Their shadows extended as the sun slowly set. After a moment of awkward silence, she spoke. "If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing so far into the woods? Do you live in the village?"
"Oh no, no one lives in that village since the dam broke." The stranger replied. Oh, right. It was the dam she helped break because of… Jet. She shuttered slightly and tried to push the thought of him away.
"So where are you from?" she asked.
"I live in a small town known as Hira'a." The name seemed slightly familiar.
"Is it nearby?"
"A day's journey or so."
"Uh-huh," Why was he so far from home without a pack or anything.
"I can tell you are mistrustful of my intentions."
"I-" she started to say, but he smiled and kept talking.
"If I ever had a daughter, I'd want her to be careful around strangers too." Katara wasn't sure what to say, so the stranger filled the gap. "My name is Ikem and I mean you no harm." She couldn't help but relax a little, now that she knew his name.
"It's nice to meet you, Ikem. I'm…" she paused slightly, "Sapphire." Ikem didn't seem to notice her hesitation.
"It is nice to meet you too, Sapphire. What a pretty name."
"Thanks…" she needed to change the conversation, "So you said you live in Hira'a, what do you do there?"
"Well, when I was about your age I was in a theater."
"How fun,"
"Yes," he smiled, "It was."
"What made you stop?"
"Oh… well there was a girl… she was my best friend and one day we realized our relationship went a little beyond friendship."
"How long ago was this? Did you two ever get married?" She could use the distraction of another person's love story, one with hopefully a happy ending. Sadly, this was not the case. Ikem turned sad, retrospective.
"She left before we could wed, we were promised to each other though."
"Why did she leave?"
"She was forced to marry another man."
"That's horrible."
"Yes," Ikem nodded slowly.
"So…uh…What are you doing out here?" she asked, getting back to her original question.
"I was looking for someone."
"Her?"
"No, not really."
"Oh. Did you find who you're looking for yet?"
"I did actually."
"Oh?" she was intrigued now, "It's not me is it?" she joked. He let out a laugh and smiled.
"No, but I am glad I found you."
"The fire?"
"Well that too." Ikem smiled.
"So who were you looking for?" she asked taking a sip of her cold tea.
"The Fire Lord." She choked on the liquid, but rose to her feet anyways.
"What do you want with him?" she asked her voice loud and her arms ready to defend herself.
"I just wanted to talk to him."
"About what?" she asked through gritted teeth. Ikem (if that was his real name) slowly got to his feet.
"Ursa."
"You've already talked to him. You're the one who told him his mother died!" She paused only briefly, realizing what this meant. "She was the girl you were in love with."
"Yes."
"Why didn't you tell me any of this sooner?" She continued, not giving him a chance to responded "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't freeze you to a tree."
"I can help him."
"How? You've only brought him pain."
"He needs to grieve. He would have found out eventually."
"But I would have been there for him. I would have told him to forget about my…" she stopped. Was it really all about her wish for Ursa's blessing? No…he couldn't …no… She cleared her head with a shake; she couldn't lose concentration. "Now he's," she cleared her throat and pushed aside her emotions, "He's out there alone."
"Why didn't you follow him?"
"I…I wanted to give him his space." She didn't want to admit how Zuko's rejection seemed to take all light from her life and she didn't know if she had the strength to face him again. She hated how unsure she felt.
"You should go talk to him."
"He doesn't want to talk to me. He walked out."
"He needs you, now more than ever. Go. Tell him that I will answer any questions he has."
"Okay." She slowly lowered her arms. "But if you run off before I get back, I will hunt you down. There will be nowhere for you to hide and it won't be pretty when I find you. Understood?"
"Yes, Katara." The hairs on the back of her neck stood up again. Without even thinking it through, she blasted him with water and froze him to a tree.
"I never told you my name." She growled as she walked closer until she was nose to nose with him.
"You are traveling with the Fire Lord and wear his mother's ring. It wasn't hard for me to figure out who you were." Ikem's voice remained calm, despite her aggression. She felt slightly foolish, but tried not to let it show and she didn't unfreeze him either.
"I could walk away now and leave you frozen to this tree."
"You could…" finally there was a slight twinge of nervousness in his voice, "But it would be very cold of you."
"Are you trying to be funny?"
"Well I used to be an actor."
"Well," she said, unmoved, "You better act forthcoming when I return." She turned and started to walk away. She wanted to leave him against the tree, but she couldn't. Without looking back, she flicked her wrists and she knew the ice melted. Now she only hoped she could break the ice with Zuko.

-Zuko-

He had managed to hold off the tears, but his heart was still heavy. Agni he wished he had a bottle of firewhiskey with him. Maybe that could have numbed the pain he was feeling. He had not only re-lost his mother, but he had lost Katara.

He was lying down by the water looking up at the stars. The moon hadn't risen yet and the sky was dark. A small part of him was glad he felt pain. It meant he was still alive. For a moment, he'd wanted to throw himself into the river and let the waters whisk him away, but he couldn't. He wasn't sure if he was a coward because he wanted to do it or because he couldn't do it. Like the sky, there seemed to be no light inside him. It had finally been snuffed out.

The moon had started to rise when he heard a rustling in the woods behind him. He didn't move or care. Maybe it is a beast come to eat me or a thief come to kill me. Either way, it didn't matter so he stayed motionless, eyes closed. Footsteps approached until they were right beside him. A person. He decided from the sounds they made.
"Just do it," he said quietly. Whatever they wanted he just hoped they'd be quick about it. He didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't want to face the world around him. So he waited.
"Zuko." He'd recognize that voice anywhere. He sighed slightly and smiled. Maybe this was the end. It'd be nice to believe she was beside him. He kept his eyes closed, hoping to continue the fantasy. "Zuko?" Suddenly there was a small hand on his shoulder and his eyes snapped open.

Two blue eyes looked back at him, worriedly. He thought he'd feel relieved to know she was actually there and not just in his head, but he didn't.
"Zuko are you okay?" she asked. No, no I'm not.
"Yeah…I'm fine." He said, sitting up slowly, "What are you doing out here?"
"I was looking for you," she replied defensively. He wanted so badly to pull her into his arms, but that would be wrong. She might not want that. He had to look away from her, unable to stand her proximity when there was nothing he could do.
"You should go," he whispered, his voice thick. She scoffed and he turned his head back to her.
"I don't know if you realized this, Zuko." She practically spat his name. "But you don't tell me what to do. I'm a warrior. I will always fight for what I want. You can't just say you're 'done' and walk away or order me to walk away. Now, I've tried to give you space, but I can't continue this. You can't keep pushing me away. We need to talk. If you really want things to end… I guess there's nothing I can do, but I won't stop trying. I won't stop fighting." He didn't reply right away. It seemed too good to be true. Did she really still want him, someone as broken and alone as he?
"I don't want," he cleared his throat, "I don't want you to stop fighting…for us." The fleeting look of brokenness in her eyes disappeared as he finished his sentence. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close.
"Hey," she said soothingly, "It's okay." She leaned back and whipped the tear he didn't realize he'd shed. It was useless another tear quickly replaced that one. "Shhh…" she whispered and he buried his head in her shoulder and hair.

He cried. This time, he let the tears fall. Her reassuring touch made all the difference. She gently rubbed his back and cooed nothingness into his ear. He cried for more than just his mother, but also for the pain and anguish he had received since she left. All of the comforting he had missed since her disappearance Katara now gave him.

Even after the tears stopped, she continued to hold him. How could he have ever walked away from her? Finally, he gently pulled out of her embrace. She looked at him carefully, scanning his face.
"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice soft. He smiled weakly at her.
"I am now." He replied scratchily.
"Zuko I…" she hesitated, "Do you still want to m-"
"Yes," he interrupted. "Absolutely."
"You didn't even let me finish…" she smiled slightly.
"Fine," he couldn't help, but grin, "Go ahead." She moved away from his just a little and got up on one knee.
"Zuko, would you do me the immense honor of marrying me?"
"Yes, Katara. I will." She smiled and he pulled her back to him and into a kiss.

-Katara-

She needed to make sure they were okay. When she asked him to marry her she knew exactly what to say (for once). She asked him using the same words he had used to ask her.

With their kiss, all uncertainty vanished. No matter what, she knew she would love him. This was more than a kiss to reassure, but a kiss full of hope. When they broke away to catch their breaths, they leaned their foreheads together and stared into each other's eyes.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too," she replied and blinked away a tear.
"I think I've cried enough for both of us." He said softly and whipped it gently away with his thumb.
"It's okay. It was a happy tear." She smiled before turning serious, "Zuko, you never need to hold your emotions back like that."
"Okay." He said offhandedly.
"I mean it Zuko." She knew he was more open with her than he was with anyone else, but she still thought he concealed too much of himself. She watched him think before he replied. Something changed in his eyes; the emotion in them somehow became stronger.
"Okay," he replied again, but this time she knew he meant it.
"There are times when we need to be strong, but also times when it's okay to be vulnerable. I trust that you won't leave when I need you. But you can't leave me when you need me. That just doesn't make sense. I'll always be here for you."
"I know. And…I've said this before, but you're amazing. You really are." She smiled and he leaned back in to kiss her again.

The kiss was so full of love it was obvious where it'd lead. Soon she was on her back in the grass with him hovering above her. It was much more intense than it had ever been before. There was a reverence to their lovemaking that hadn't been as pronounced as before. He was gentle yet passionate, a heady combination. His strong hands cradled her head and he switched between kissing her lips and watching her come apart.
"Zuko," she moaned as she found that blissfully release. She seemed to be floating high in the air and vaguely heard him cry out her name as he stilled inside her. He collapsed on top of her and she could feel his heavy breath against her neck.
"I don't know what I'd do without you." He whispered. Her heart clenched because she felt the same. Instead of replying, she buried her face in his hair.

They were still on the ground with her curled into his side, where she belonged.
"Can I ask you something?" she whispered.
"Anything."
"Why did you walk away?" She bit her lip, afraid of his response. He sighed and pulled away to look at her.
"Do we have to do this now?" he countered.
"Please. Was it all about your mother's blessing? If not…I can't help but wonder what I did wr-"
"No," he cut her off, "you didn't do anything wrong. But it wasn't all about her blessing. I…I've always thought the universe didn't want me to be happy. Finding out that my mom was… dead reminded me of that. I was stupid to think I could have it all… have you… and my mother. It's like I'm not supposed to be happy... The news proved to me that… I don't know… maybe I'm not good enough for you." His eyes drifted away from hers. "You deserve someone so much better than me, someone who is whole. Not so broken…" Her jaw dropped. Was that seriously what he thought?
"Agni Zuko! You are not broken. You are amazing."
"Stop," he whispered halfheartedly.
"You are! You've become an amazing man and Fire Lord. I…we just…" she blushed slightly, remembering what they'd done not long before, "I thought we were better now."
"I know, I know, I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to-"
"Stop. Believe me when I say I would do anything for you. I want to help you, but you have to tell me what's really wrong. I can't help you if I don't know what you're thinking. The whole reason I made your mother's blessing a condition was because I knew how important she was to you and I wanted to make finding her a priority. I love you and I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. So tell me, what's wrong?" When he finally spoke, his voice was soft, defeated.
"I thought I'd feel better once I knew if she was alive or not, but I don't. I just have more questions that I'll never get the answers to."
"There's a man back at camp..." she started slowly, "He says he'll answer your questions." Zuko's eyes widened. She hoped Ikem could give him the closure he needed. She didn't know if her heart could take any more turmoil, but then again, she also knew she'd do anything for him. She would show him that he was whole, even if he insisted he was broken.

a/n I hope the feels weren't too overpowering! :)
Please let me know what you liked or even disliked about the chapter in a review. Thanks for reading!