Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Never have, never will.
Kuwabara waited just long enough for Yusuke and me to distribute the food and take seats at the tables Keiko had pushed together, before announcing that he had made up his mind concerning the article.
Keiko leaned forward in her seat and asked impatiently, "Well, what did you decide?"
"Impatience? How completely uncharacteristic of you," I grinned at my friend mockingly. "Are you worried that Kuwabara sided with me?"
Keiko ignored me and continued to watch Kuwabara, who made a point of slowly taking a bite of his breakfast sandwich, chewing, and then swallowing, if possible, even more slowly. Finally, wiping his mouth daintily with a napkin, he said, "Well, after much thought and consideration, I've decided that the article is absolute bull."
Silence reigned in the restaurant and was broken only when I whooped and burst into a victory dance, raising my hand to Yusuke in hopes of receiving a high five. Keiko eyed her boyfriend disdainfully as he slapped my upraised hand and then turned devastated eyes on Kuwabara. "You agree with Shyle? Why?"
Kuwabara hesitated, all his previous smugness gone. I burst into laughter when I realized that he had thought he would be agreeing with Keiko. He frowned at me and said to Keiko, "I thought I was on your side."
"My side? My side? Are you kidding? Do you see who I'm dating? If I hadn't read between the lines I'd never have realized he liked me. Of course I agree with the article!"
"Um, babe? You might want to consider calming down." Watching as Keiko turned her murderous gaze on Yusuke, I hurried to save his stupid butt by distracting Keiko.
"You didn't explain your reasoning, Kuwabara."
"Uh, right," he looked at me, struggling to get his thoughts in order. "Well, I figure the guy isn't doing his job if the girl has to analyze his every move. She should just know he cares, otherwise the relationship probably isn't that great."
"But what about Yukina?" Keiko groaned.
Kuwabara blushed and Hiei bristled angrily. I raised an eyebrow. What was with that? Did the demon have a crush on Kuwabara's fiancée? He'd have to get over that, their wedding was in a few months.
My attention was tugged away from Hiei and returned to the situation at hand when Kuwabara said, "I guess that, um, I didn't do my job right. You know, 'cause it took so long for Yukina to understand."
"In my opinion, Yukina didn't understand because she comes from a culture so different from ours. It isn't Kuwabara's fault that she didn't get it," I defended my friend. He grinned at me and nodded his thanks.
"Anyway," I drawled, "the point is that Kuwabara sided with me. Girls shouldn't need some stupid article to help them figure out their relationship, they should be capable all on their own."
Keiko sighed and shook her head.
"Hey, is that disagreement I see?" I narrowed my eyes at her and waited for a response.
"I just don't think that one opinion should decide this."
"You'd be singing a different tune if Kuwabara had agreed with you."
Ignoring my accusation, she said, "I say we ask everybody else their opinions."
I scanned over the group of guys, trying to figure out who would agree with me. Kurama? Probably not. I had a feeling he would think a relationship was complex and not as black and white as I claimed. Yusuke? Only if he doesn't let Keiko influence his decision. Hiei? I might as well try to predict what the Makai looked like, as try to guess his opinion.
A glance at Keiko showed that she was trying to size up the guys just as I had.
"So, how are we gonna do this?" I asked. "Should I just read the article out loud and they can decide after that?"
Keiko nodded her consent and motioned for Kuwabara to give me the magazine.
Clearing my throat, I began, "The article is titled 'Ten Ways to Know if He's Into You.' That pretty much tells you all you need to know about the article's content." A huff from Keiko signaled that I should continue without giving my own commentary.
"Reason Number One: He actively takes an interest in you and what you have to say. He's not just nodding and smiling and checking his watch every five minutes like you're trying to sell him life insurance. There's eye contact. He's actively listening. He's asking questions, relating things you say to his own experiences. If he's really good, he'll remember something you said and incorporate it in a future date. Try not to act too surprised.
"Reason Number Two: He's forthcoming. He wants you to know about him. This manifests itself in a bunch of ways. He'll share personal details about himself. He'll even be eager to cough up basic factoids such as phone numbers, his address and place of work. If he isn't giving up this kind of info, then he doesn't want you tracking him down.
"Reason Number Three: He'll mark his won't pee on you or anything per se, but he will exhibit some animal behavior. If he's decided he wants you as his female, he won't want to lose you. If there's any chance that you might be snapped up by another male, he'll stake his claim. He'll be tactile with you, slipping an arm around you, possibly posturing and standing up when another guy walks onto the scene. Watch out for some regression to a more primitive man. If you hear grunting, don't panic. It's his way of saying he likes you.
"Reason Number Four: He calls you back. Despite the stereotype, he will call you back. If you're a girl in demand, he won't want you to be the one that got away, so he'll call you to set up the next date or ask how you're doing. If you're getting calls for no reason, that's a good thing. However, you may want to invest in a good phone plan.
"Reason Number Five: He'll check you out. You'll bring out his spy skills in a good way. He'll talk to your friends to get the 411 on you. He wants to know more about you -- your past, your present, your likes and dislikes, water hazards, etc. He's doing his homework because he wants to impress you. He's gathering this intelligence so he knows how best to woo you.
"Reason Number Six: He's flirtatious. Guys get playful around women they like. It's a little dance he's doing around you to show his interest and his daring. However, he's not just being flirty, he's also probing. He's putting on a little show for you to see if you'll reciprocate. The more you play, the more he stays. Now shake that tail feather."
"How many freaking reasons are there?" Yusuke demanded.
Kurama laughed softly and answered, "Considering the title contains the word 'ten,' I would assume that there are ten reasons."
Yusuke grumbled something about smartass redheads and crossed his arms over his chest, clearly sulking.
"Are you done?" Keiko snapped.
At Yusuke's grunt of assent, I continued, "Reason Number Seven: He's always planning ahead. If he digs you, he won't want you getting away from him. To make sure you aren't prey to some other guy, he'll be making plans for the next date before the current one is over. A full calendar is a good sign.
"Reason Number Eight: He's attentive. He's been listening to you, and knows what you like and where you like to go. He treats you to your favorite things and places. He'll spring surprises."
I looked up from the article and said, "Just so you guys realize, numbers one and eight are almost identical. The author probably ran out of reasons and started bluffing –"
I would have continued to throw doubt on the article if it wasn't for a painful kick to my shin. Glaring at Keiko, I demanded, "What the hell?"
"Stop trying to influence their opinions. It isn't fair!"
"I would just like to point out that life's not fair." Keiko glared at me, not even remotely amused by my little factoid. Deciding to let it drop, I resumed reading, "Reason Number Nine: He'll blow off his buddies to be with you. It's always tricky managing existing commitments with burgeoning relationships. There are bound to be conflicts of interest at some point. So take it as a good sign when he'll ditch going out with the boys to see you instead.
"Reason Number Ten: Acts of selflessness. He'll take one for the team of you and him. These can be large or small acts. They can be as small as holding your hair back for when you've got stomach flu, or as large as suffering through a Utada Hikaru concert and pretending he's enjoying it because you're a fan."
I took a deep breath as I finished reading and watched the guys, waiting for one of them to express their opinion.
Kurama was the first to speak up and he did so slowly, thoughtfully. "I agree with many of the writer's points. Men who show an interest in a girl tend to do many of the things described in the article. On the other hand, I'm not so sure that a woman must analyze what her man does to understand their relationship. There should be some kind of instinctual feeling, women's intuition and all that. Then again, a relationship is a complex thing…" He trailed off, lost in his own thoughts. I smiled smugly at how well I had predicted his opinion.
"Pick a side, Kurama. Preferably before we grow old."
"Impressive use of sarcasm!" I extended my hand and Yusuke slapped me another high five.
Kurama watched us in amusement, clearly not offended by Yusuke's rudeness, before finally saying, "I believe that Keiko and I share a similar opinion on this matter. Due to the complexity of relationships it may, at times, be necessary for this kind of critical analysis." Damn, I had predicted him too well.
Keiko grinned and looked at me.
"Don't look so confident. That makes it Iraheta one, Yukimura one, with two votes left. You haven't won yet."
"Oh, but I will," Keiko said, her smug smile still in place.
"Before we continue, I say we make a bet."
"You do? Sure you want to risk that?"
"Bring it on!"
Yusuke leaned forward, bracing his arms on the tabletop. "I say the loser has to do something humiliating."
"You are such a guy, Yusuke," I said, laughing. "Loser is in debt to the winner. Their debt can be repaid at anytime. The winner decides when and where."
"Agreed," Keiko nodded in confirmation. I extended my hand across the table and she took it. Once we had sealed the deal with a hand shake, I turned my attention to the two guys who had yet to voice an opinion.
"Will I be punished for speaking my true opinion?" Yusuke asked, eyeing Keiko warily. I smiled. If Yusuke was afraid of Keiko's wrath, there was a good chance that he was on my side.
"To be fair you should be able to state your opinion without fear of consequences," I answered.
Keiko smirked at me and said, "To repeat your own words 'life isn't fair.'"
"Witty, Keiko, but I must point out that I obeyed your rules and did not continue to add my own opinion while reading, therefore it is only right that you do not blackmail Yusuke. His decision should be his own."
Personally, I felt like my argument was solid, but Keiko proved otherwise when she replied, "You may speak your mind, Yusuke, but you do so at the risk of sleeping on the couch tonight."
"Are you kidding? Keiko, come on!"
She ignored me, continuing to watch her boyfriend threateningly.
Yusuke glanced between us and then broke into a grin. "It doesn't really matter either way. I agree with Keiko. Girls are really dense sometimes. I can't blame you for needing help figuring out relationships."
"Yusuke Urameshi, did you just call girls dense? God, you are the densest person I know," Keiko snapped.
"Smart move, dumb ass. If you wanted to piss her off you could have just sided with me."
Yusuke looked bewildered. "What are you talking about? What did I do wrong?"
Kuwabara started laughing and clapped his friend on the back. "You just bought yourself a week of sleeping on the couch."
"Will someone explain what I did wrong?"
"Nah, we're going to let you figure this one out all on your own," I answered. I looked to Hiei. If he didn't side with me I was going to lose. "No pressure, but you're the deciding factor."
The fire demon glanced at me, his crimson eyes completely devoid of interest. "I have no opinion on this ridiculous matter."
"What?" Kuwabara shouted. "Look, shrimp, your vote determines if it is a tie or if Keiko wins. You have to have an opinion."
"I do not have to have any such thing. Your argument is entirely based around the human dating system. Demons do not date, we court our potentials and when we do so we make our intentions very obvious."
"Okay, so pretend you're human."
Hiei snorted contemptuously and looked away.
"Damn it," I muttered. The guys, even Hiei, looked at me. "What? I lost. I have ever right to be angry."
Feigning sadness, I looked at Keiko. "So what do I owe you?"
The girl shook her head and said, "No way. I'm waiting for my payment. Any time, any place, remember?"
"Double damn."
Twenty minutes later, Keiko reminded us that the restaurant opened at ten and she needed to get everything ready. In no time at all we had cleaned up the mess from our breakfast and I'd joined Keiko behind the counter.
"Shy, would you mind running upstairs and getting my cutting board from the kitchen? I brought it upstairs last night when I was making dinner, but I need it now."
"Sure, no problem."
Climbing the stairs, I heard Kurama and Kuwabara say goodbye and the tinkling of the bell over the door as they left. The door to the apartment was unlocked and I ducked inside the familiar living room at the top of the stairs. The Yukimura's was like a second home for me, both during high school and now.
Compared to downstairs the place was eerily quiet and I rushed into the kitchen, knowing that the faster I moved, the faster I'd be downstairs. Returning to the living room in a rush, I let out a surprised yelp as I crashed into something. Or more correctly someone.
The collision had knocked me onto my butt and from my sitting position on the floor I looked up to see Hiei standing over me. I'd assumed he had left with Kurama, but apparently I was wrong.
I watched with surprise as he extended a hand to me. I took it and he pulled me easily to my feet. I was standing way closer to him than I would have liked, especially with the way I had to look up slightly at him. I've met very few people who are shorter than my own five foot nothing and Hiei wasn't one of them.
"You should watch where you're going."
"Yeah, right," I mumbled, rubbing my sore butt. I was uncomfortable, and not just because we were standing so close together.
I don't know why I hadn't realized it earlier, maybe I just hadn't looked at him closely enough, but now I saw that Hiei was attractive. Really attractive. Attractive in a way that Kurama's pretty boy looks just couldn't live up to.
I took a faltering step backward, trying to give myself some room to breath, to think. I'd been so close that I could feel the heat radiating off his body. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised; he was a fire demon after all, but being close enough to feel his body heat felt way too personal.
"Um, sorry?" Sometimes I impress myself with my own linguistic abilities.
"Hn." Hiei turned away from me and walked toward the window. On his way he picked up a jacket that had been lying on the couch. When he reached the window he paused and said, "Calm yourself, woman. I have no interest in you."
With that he jumped out the open window and seemed to disappear, leaving me very confused. What the hell did he mean? He had no interest in me? Good for him. I don't know why he felt the need to alert me that.
"Whatever," I muttered. "Demons are weird. I should have learned that from Yusuke."