"Are you even here right now?"
Sydney eyeballed her coworker's question and calmly sipped a too-hot cup of cappuccino. "Sorta."
"Was the wedding that bad?" Sarah asked. "It couldn't have been that horrible!"
"It was actually a pretty nice wedding." Sydney nodded.
"I bet being stuck in Chicago really sucked, though! At least you were able to get a nice hotel room!"
A flurry of images ran across Sydney's mind. Bumping into him. Making snowballs with him. Canoodling with him. Looking into his eyes as she climbed on top of him. She shook her head to relieve the thoughts. "Yeah, I was."
"Well, at least you're back in California! I bet Chicago must've been horrible with that weather!"
It had been one very long-ass week.
The morning after wasn't so bad. Despite making love all night the night before, they had one more tryst before showering and breakfast. They rode to the airport together and were lucky they were in the same gate area where they waited with each other. It was her plane that was the first to leave and when it was time to board, Sydney and Dean held each other for a long time.
She tried to hold back the tears from falling but it was no use. They freely fell as she listened to him whisper to her. "I know it hurts," he petted her hair, "but it's only temporary. I'll be back for you."
"You're not just saying that, are you?" She asked between sniffles.
Dean pulled back and thumbed away Sydney's tears. "Why would I lie to the woman I want to be with?"
The memory slowly faded to the background and Sydney found her eyes tearing up. Dean called her later that night to make sure she'd arrived safely and they've texted on a daily basis since then, with a few phone calls in between. It still didn't replace the warmth she'd missed of feeling his body pressed against hers.
In short, long distance relationships sucked ass. "It wasn't that bad." Sydney smiled.
"I'm glad you're back. We've been so swamped lately with everything. It seems everyone is shopping this year, which is great for us!" Sarah smiled. "Do you have any plans for the holidays?"
"I'm going to fly you down for a Kings game. Tell your boss to fuck off, you're going to see your man play hockey." Sydney recalled Dean's declaration to her. It was the first time he actually said he was her boyfriend in not so many words. She didn't want to read too much into it because of the distance, though she secretly began to practice saying Sydney Ambrose. She loved how it sounded, despite how she felt like a teenage girl who just discovered she liked boys.
"No plans yet," Sydney shook her head. "Well, I mean…I might go to L.A. and see a friend."
"A friend or …" Sarah rubbed shoulders with Sydney. "…a friend?"
"A friend," Sydney repeated, though she knew that wasn't the truth. She liked Sarah and trusted her but some of the other coworkers would sell her out to the highest bidder. "I just need to figure out when."
"Well, we should be slow around Christmas Eve and of course, everyone is closed on Christmas. Will two days be enough?"
Sydney had a feeling time with Dean would never be enough with him. More time to hold him. More time to laugh with him. More time to make love to him. "I'll see."
Sarah dropped her cheerful act for a short moment and became serious. "What's really going on, Syd? You seem kinda out of it since you came back. Are you sure everything is okay?"
"I don't know what I want to be when I grow up." Sydney finally revealed. "I don't think I'm cut out for retail for the rest of my life."
"Well," Sarah leaned on the counter, "what do you want to do?"
Be a hockey wife? "I'm not sure," she replied, "I just don't think I'm going to be here much longer. But I need a game plan."
"What are you passionate about? What gets you going?"
"That's the thing! I don't know. Everyone knows what they're passionate about and I don't. I guess I'm just boring that way."
"That's not true! Everyone has a passion about something. You just need to figure yours out." Sarah insisted before she left. "You'll figure it out!"
Sydney finished her cappuccino. Sarah was right. Dean was passionate about hockey. Sarah was passionate about sales. And then there was Sydney was who was passionate about…what? Couponing? Gossip message boards? Trashy reality shows? So many superficial things and none of which made her get out of bed on a daily basis.
She threw away her cup when she received a text from Dean. How's my girl doing? Sydney quickly replied back and smiled. It seemed no matter whatever mood she was in, Dean always cheered her up. He had a sneaky way of doing that.
I'm trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
Dean smiled at Sydney's reply and texted her back. Have you figured it out?
Not yet. Still working on it.
Come to L.A. and I'll help you figure it out.
I bet you will.
What? What's that supposed to mean? I'll be a good little choir boy and I won't touch you at all.
And you know that's the problem, right?
You can spank me if I misbehave.
Boy, don't you threaten me with a good time…
"All right, man," Dean's teammate, Seth Rollins, nudged him. He was a tall bearded man, with not a single ounce of body fat on him. He was easily recognizable with his half-blond/half-dark hair, which led to Dean nicknaming him, Two-Tone. "Put that damn phone away! You've been staring at it for most of the night, anyway."
"I had to take care some important business, man." Dean shoved his phone in his jacket. "Now that it's done, I'm here."
"Is she pregnant?" Another teammate, Jack Swagger, chimed in. A mammoth at over six feet tall and built like a linebacker, Jack had the charm and suave of a thousand men; hence his last name.
"What? No!" Dean replied, though he did wonder what a baby comprised of him and Sydney looked like. He hoped to heaven the baby would have the mother's looks and definitely her teeth. "Can we talk about something else?"
"Sure, we can talk about something else," Randy Orton took a swig of beer. Menacing with two full sleeves and eyes that dared his opponents to try him, Randy quickly got the nickname 'The Viper' for his ruthless hockey play. "Let's talk about how Dean is a pussy-whipped bitch."
"Pussy-whipped? I'm pussy-whipped?"
"Meow." Seth added.
Dean went around the table and pointed to his friends. "Married, girlfriend, and you…you…." He pointed towards Randy.
"Me? What about me?"
"You're entertaining the biggest thot of the year," Dean said to laughter around the table, "and I'm pussy-whipped?"
"Staring at your phone….the moment you hear from her, your face lights up…" Randy shrugged and took a swig of beer. "…I know the lovey-dovey signs."
"Next thing you're going to be sending her flowers." Jack added.
"And them cheap shits, neither." Seth shook his head and his teammates agreed. "You better be chipping in some money for a few dozen."
"Meeting the parents?" Jack added. "Yeah, that's always fun."
"Buy liquor and cigars for the dad and roses for the mom." Randy advised. "That's too easy."
"And you better remember every single birthday, holiday, and first moments or you will never hear the end of it." Seth stated.
"That's why I'm single." Randy nodded.
"Does your girl know this?" Seth asked and Randy shrugged.
"So when are you going to bring her around?" Jack asked. "Seems like you like her."
"Well after the three of you scared the hell out of me, I don't know if that shit's gonna happen," Dean chuckled. "But in all seriousness, I don't know. We're still trying to coordinate something and I just don't know the what, when, and where of it."
"I hope she's special," Seth replied. "I haven't seen you like this in a minute."
Dean sipped his beer. He was acting like a lovesick schoolboy, though he kept his focus on the ice when he was at practice and during game time. But after each practice and every game, his second phone call was to Sydney. His first was always to his mother, just to make sure he could still talk with all of his teeth.
He told Sydney he was going to fly her down during Christmas so she could watch him play in person. Christmas wasn't that far away and Dean was becoming increasingly anxious about her arrival, despite not having any plans set in stone.
Now he knew why he never fell in love; he truly hated not having any control of his emotions.