Find My Way Back To You

by DeliriousMess

So this is an AU where, sure Jennifer's died, but did she really? Dwight got a ding on her credit cards, and a friend says that someone who looks suspiciously like Jennifer has been seen around Boston. If it is Jennifer? Then why hadn't she come back to the Rouge? What could keep her from coming home? And why doesn't she seem to remember anything about Haven or the Barn?M: Swearing

8. Chapter 8

In all honesty, Duke had only one thought on his mind as he headed back to the main floor of the shop: Get Jennifer away from here. He tried to formulate a plan for how he could get Jennifer out of the shop, to his truck, to the Rouge, and then—well who the fuck cares where they went from there, just so long as they got away. But as he looked down at her eerily tranquil face, he knew that she wouldn't want to leave before she had answers.

And he knew that she deserved answers.

And besides, she'd only just started to trust him; he refused to do anything that would potentially ruin that trust. Like kidnapping her from her cousin's store while she's unconscious. That probably wouldn't earn him any brownie points.

Little John whined quietly up at Duke, pulling him out of his thoughts, and sat by the couch, almost purposefully looking from Duke to the couch and back. Duke sighed and sat carefully on the couch, still holding Jennifer against him and trying not to jostle her too much.

Fine.

So no kidnapping.

But hopefully she wouldn't be averse to waking up in his arms. He straightened her legs out carefully before he brought his arm that had been under her legs up to gently pat at her face to wake her up.

He tucked some of her still damp hair behind her ear and traced along her jaw, and whispered to her, "Jennifer?"

She didn't move, but it seemed, though he couldn't be sure, that some of the color came back to her face.

He sighed and shifted her closer against him prompting a small sound from her. He froze, watching her hopefully. When nothing more happened, he deflated slightly before he gently cradled her face in his palm and pressed his forehead against hers, "C'mon, Jen, please. Wake up. I can't…Please. Just wake up."

Little John leaned against the couch and rested his head on Jennifer's stomach as he let out a brief, quiet cry. Duke sighed back, lifting his head from Jennifer's, "I know, bud. I'm worried about her too."

Little John only kept his eyes on Jennifer, snuffling the slightest bit closer to her as Duke gently rocked her.

The Universe must've thought it was a fucking riot to give Jennifer back to him with no memory of him, only to then have her—within twenty-four hours of them reaching some sort of groove or understanding about their relationship—pass out under mysterious circumstances in the shop of a woman who was starting to seem more and more like an enemy and less and less like a friend.

Ha ha, Universe.

Good one.

Don't quit your day job.

He stared at Jennifer for another moment before he carefully ran his fingers through her hair until he cradled the back of her head. The color was coming back to her face now, much more slowly than he would've preferred, and her breathing was slowly becoming stronger. But the sick dread that had settled in his stomach when he had rounded that corner and had seen her collapsed on the floor refused to lessen in any way. At a loss for what else to do, he pecked a kiss on her forehead, pulling back quickly and watching her nervously, as if she'd wake up and push him away from her in confusion. If kidnapping was out of the question, then probably so was kissing her when she was unconscious. Her words from their first encounter still rang in his head.

I've never seen you before in my life.

When she didn't show any sort of change, or at the very least like she wasn't going to wake up and push him away, Duke carefully kissed along her cheek to her ear and whispered to her, "I didn't find you just to lose you again, Jennifer Mason."

Her brow furrowed slightly, not that he saw, and he pulled her closer still to him and said, "Come back to me, Jen."

At that, she finally stirred in his arms, prompting Duke to move back and watch her carefully, as she slowly started to open her eyes. Little John immediately stood from his spot, tail wagging so fast that it blurred behind him, and began to whine excitedly at Jennifer. Duke let out a short breath of a laugh as her eyes searched out his face. They cleared up gradually from their fog as her eyes opened a bit wider and she smiled at him sleepily, "Hey. I know you."

He let out another relieved laugh, nodding at her, "Yeah, you do."

Confusion flashed across her face briefly only to be replaced by a look of pain as she rubbed her forehead. She started to try to sit up and to get out of his arms, but Duke tightened his grip on her instinctively. She looked at him in new confusion, about to say something, but before he could think to stop himself, he leaned down and kissed her, properly and fully this time. His hand trailed from in her hair to down her neck, her own hand rising to rest over his there.

[PARAGRAPH]She let a small noise of surprise when his lips first met hers, and for a moment he thought she was going to pull away from him, but she only opened her mouth further, brushing her tongue against his in invitation and expectation, and moving her hands up to his neck and then into his hair to pull him further into the kiss.

This wasn't exactly how he'd imagined their first reunited kiss would go. In fact, if he was being honest, if he'd had his way, the first time he saw her two days ago, when he'd hugged her, when he'd found her again, that's when he should've kissed her. If he'd had a choice, it would've been then that he'd gathered her in his arms and left on the Rouge. Or something later, after she'd gotten more of her memories back, looking at him with those beautiful, luminous brown eyes and she'd smile with that same recognition that he saw in her eyes now and say, "I know you."

God and mean it.

But this? This was fine—more than fine. This was probably more than he deserved from her, but he certainly wasn't going to be the one to tell her or to stop this from happening.

He smiled through the continuing kiss and responded eagerly to her, kissing her back with every ounce of want, need, desperation, elation—every ounce of everything he'd wanted to give to her since he lost her. She tasted like sunlight, a calm day at sea, and just everything good and wonderful in the world that he'd missed since he thought she died.

Jennifer let out a small moan as she ran her fingers through his hair to pull him closer to her, and tried to kiss him back with just as much as he was kissing her with, shifting slightly higher against him and trying to pull him further down all at the same time. This hadn't been how Jennifer had thought their first kiss would go. After all, what girl imagines her first kiss with a guy being right after she'd been unconscious? Well, maybe Sleeping Beauty, but this wasn't that kind of story—at least, she really hoped not. What she had hoped for, was that they're first kiss would've been more…romantic? More planned? She didn't know, but she worried that by letting her mind wonder, she wasn't meeting him with what he was giving her.

She felt him smile against her lips and smiled back, trying to focus on the kiss and not what else it could or couldn't mean to him or to her. He tasted like the ocean, an early morning before a road trip, and every adventure she'd ever wanted to go on but was too afraid to ever actually do.

Until now.

"I'd say 'get a room' but I think I remember pointing out that you do, in fact, have a room to do that in," a familiar voice said flatly from further in the shop. Jennifer pulled out of the kiss, blushing and giggling at her cousin's comment, moving her hands down to rest against Duke's chest. She bit her lip and looked at her hands on his chest before looking back up at him. Duke's eyes were still half-lidded as he looked down at her and let out a quiet sound of objection at her pulling out of the kiss and she reached up to rest her thumb against his bottom lip and smiled up at him. She couldn't think of what to say to him but that didn't seem to matter to him as his eyes kept flickering from her eyes back to her mouth hungrily. She wondered if his eyes were always this soft of a brown or if maybe this was something special.

If she was something special.

She almost thought that she'd seen them looking at her like this before—when she was scared.

"You're gonna be with me, right?"

"The whole time."

She would have pushed on that more, but all of her was still reeling from the kiss—who the hell had replaced her bones with Jell-O?—so she opted, instead, to just sit up a bit straighter like she'd originally planned. She smiled to herself when she realized that the headache she'd initially had when she'd first woken up was gone. Before she completely left, she felt brave enough to give him a quick, decidedly more chaste, peck on the lips before she sat up the rest of the way on the couch and out of his arms, mumbling to herself, "God, that was worth the wait."

Duke chuckled briefly at her comment before he realized what she was doing and reached up to pull her back, "Easy there, Jennifer, you were unconscious a minute ago."

She waved him away and started to climb to her feet, Little John staying close to her as well and taking up his whining again as his brow furrowed further in concern. She scratched Little John's head in passing, as she commented, walking towards the kitchenette, "Oh, I'm fine; it was probably just from, uh, low blood sugar. Yeah. Since all I'm running on is coffee—which would be fine if I were, like, twenty-one again but anyway. I probably just need, like, a bagel. Or something. I'm fine."

"No." Duke said earnestly, climbing to his feet after her to stand in front of her and block her from the kitchen, choosing not to indicate that he knew she was lying. He was trying to keep his stance casual as he stood in front of her, so that he didn't impose himself over her—he was worried about her and didn't want her to shut him out because she felt threatened by him. Little John had rushed passed Jennifer once she moved and stood next to Duke, also blocking the way as if he were trying to provide a united front against the bad idea that was Jennifer moving around right now.

Duke gestured emphatically at her, "Jennifer you—you need a hospital, or a doctor, or someone to—,"

"Pass." Jennifer interrupted, stepping around him expertly—as if she remembered that she'd done it hundreds of times before—and Little John to continue to the kitchen, and purposefully avoided his gaze.

"What?" Duke asked in disbelief, turning with her and fighting his instinct to grab her arm and stop her—he couldn't guarantee that he'd be enough in check of his strength to not hurt her on accident. They'd only just gotten back to a workable place; he didn't want her to shut him out. Little John turned with him, prompting Duke to glance at him in confusion at how in tune Little John was so far with his concern for Jennifer before focusing back on her.

She paused just before she went into the kitchenette, and turned back to him, trying to smile jokingly at him as she gestured with her words, "Yeah, see after the whole 'sailing accident' thing, I haven't been really big on hospitals. So. Pass."

Adelaide just chuckled in response, leaning her shoulder against one of the bookcases that enclosed the area where the couch was, as Jennifer went the rest of the way into the kitchen with Little John close behind her. Jennifer shot her a smirk before she disappeared into the kitchenette. The moment the curtain to the kitchenette rattled back into place, Duke snapped around to Adelaide, stalking up to her to get into her space, and imposed his whole height over her. He didn't care if Adelaide was afraid of him—in fact, right now, he'd prefer it to her thinking they could be friends. Adelaide simply arched an eyebrow at him as he stood in front of her; annoyingly unimpressed by him or the threat he was trying to pose.

Duke opened his mouth to speak but Adelaide beat him to it, speaking in a low voice, "Save it. You don't scare me."

Duke clenched his jaw in agitation at that. It wasn't often that he wanted someone to be afraid of him but when he did, it wasn't often that the other person didn't respond to him.

Adelaide rolled her shoulders again, trying to square herself to his glare as if she was certain he was going to physically attack her, "I don't care how pissed you are at me right now, in a few minutes, Holly's going to be here to take Jennifer for the day, and then I will give you all the answers you want—about me, about what I am, about what's been going on with Jennifer—everything."

"Oh, so you're just going to send her away and keep her in the dark? That's just fucking great." He could see her steeling herself to him and to his accusations, withdrawing into herself, but he wouldn't let her get away yet, "And just what the fuck makes you think that I'm going to let Jennifer out of my sight after…whatever the fuck it was that just happened, happened? She was unconscious and you're acting like nothing happened." Duke all but growled at her, matching Adelaide's pitch, "Do you really think—,"

"I don't think anything," She snarled back quickly, "I know. You don't want to lie to Jennifer, right? You promised her that you wouldn't lie to her, you don't want to break that promise to her, and more than anything you want to give her answers; that's why you didn't leave with her when you very easily could've. Right?"

Duke just glared down at her, wishing that she was even half as afraid of him as his experience and knowledge of himself told him she should be, and more than a little aggravated that she seemed to know exactly what's been happening here, as she continued, "Do not mistake my intentions, Duke. I may seem callous but—,"

"I don't give a fuck about your intentions." He snapped, getting dangerously close to yelling again and all but snarling at her, "All I care about is—,"

"Jennifer?" Adelaide interrupted, her own venom coming back through as she took a step towards him to try to impose herself over him. She was at least half a foot shorter than him, and was maybe a buck-fifty soaking wet, but there was a…a presence to her that almost made Duke want to back down from her. But, then again, if he actually did back down every time he thought he should, he wouldn't have gotten as far in his life as he had.

Adelaide continued, keeping her arms crossed in front of her, "That's right. That's all you care about. So go tell that person you care about so goddamn much that the person she thinks is her cousin—who's been in her life for longer than you have as far as her memories are concerned, who is the only family she has left in this world—you go tell her that she's been lying to her with no facts to support it. And what facts you do have, are from a small town cop friend you have whom you asked to dig into me—violating not only my trust but Jennifer's as well. Go ahead. See how well that goes for you."

They glared at each other for a moment longer, Adelaide's challenge sitting so heavily between them, it could've been it's own third party in their argument. Duke tried to keep his resolve firm and to not be the first one to look away. Unfortunately, Adelaide was right. So far, all he had were half-formed hunches and some shady occurrences that his "small town cop friend" had pulled up that could mean anything or probably nothing.

So there was mention of an Adelaide with this life in over a dozen stories—aren't there disclaimers at the end of movies about something like this? That didn't mean that that had anything to do with this Adelaide, or this situation. He didn't have anything.

"That's what I thought." Adelaide finally said, breaking their silence. She didn't sound self-satisfied though, she just sounded—and looked—tired suddenly. Tired, and very old, "Now, I am in a position to lie to her, so let me. Let me continue the lie. Just for a little while longer. I'll deal with the fallout of it—I've been preparing for it for weeks now. But until then I suggest that you stow. Your shit. And put on a goddamn happy face until Holly gets here and takes Jennifer."

"What about Jennifer?" Jennifer asked from the counter, a toasted bagel covered in cream cheese in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other. She set both of them on the counter and hopped onto the stool behind the counter, crossing her legs once she was settled. Little John sat next to her, keeping his eyes on her but his ears perked back towards Duke and Adelaide. Jennifer scratched Little John on the head, trying to smile reassuringly at him as she took a bite out of her bagel and looked back at them expectantly.

Duke turned, ready to say…well he wasn't sure what he was going to say but he sure as hell was ready to say it, when Adelaide, once again, spoke before him, "Nothing, just that Holly called me while you were in the shower and wanted to know if you were up to going shopping with her today. I told her that you were. She'll be here in a few minutes to pick you up."

As Adelaide spoke, Jennifer's brow began to furrow with confusion until she started to pat herself down, as if she were looking for something.

Adelaide gave her a confused look, "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to figure out what about me changed to indicate that I'm suddenly not an adult capable of making my own decisions." Jennifer stated matter-of-factly, before briefly grabbing at her breasts, "Alright, well, breasts are still developed so it's not that…"

"Jennifer," Adelaide chuckled in response, rolling her eyes as Duke tried so hard not to look at Jennifer grabbing her own chest that Adelaide was worried that his neck would snap.

"Adelaide," Jennifer responded, exaggerating her cousin's tone as she smiled back at her, "I mean, honestly, Della; doesn't that seem like something, I don't know, that I should've been informed of? Or, at the very least, asked about first?"

Duke looked smugly at Adelaide, waiting for her to explain the situation to Jennifer and eager to see her flounder in whatever lie she tried to tell.

Adelaide tried to smile back at Jennifer, pointedly trying to keep Duke's smug smile from causing her to misstep, "Well, she did try to call you first, but I think you were—," she finally glanced purposefully at Duke, "—preoccupied with other things."

Duke glared back at her and Jennifer blushed as she tore another bite off her bagel, trying to gesture dismissively, "Well, regardless, I think that that should've been something I was asked about before you just arranged my play dates for me like toddler."

"Yes, because your most recent independent selection of dates has just been winning friends all across the board." Adelaide commented, her smile suddenly tight and her pleasantry sounding strained.

Little John turned to look at Adelaide now, the hair on his back raising and a low growl rumbling out of him. Jennifer gave Adelaide a confused and rather startled look, "Adelaide—,"

"And just when would you've liked me to ask you about it?" Adelaide asked, a dangerous glint in her eyes, as she gestured emphatically, "Before or after you lost consciousness?"

Jennifer looked at her cousin as if she'd been stricken, and turned away from the two of them so that her front faced the counter. Little John kept his own glare steady on Adelaide as he shifted closer to Jennifer, who seemed to suddenly be very interested in her bagel and her orange juice. Duke's own glare only intensified as he looked down at Adelaide. The regret was immediate on Adelaide's face as she looked at Jennifer, and Duke could see that she wanted to take a step to her, to comfort her, but almost as soon as he saw it, it was gone.

She steeled herself, as if she were preparing herself for something more, and rubbed her forehead as she sighed—though none of the tension left her body as she did, "Sorry. I'm sorry, Jen. That was…that was out of line."

Jennifer just nodded at her vaguely, taking a drink from her orange juice, as Adelaide ran her hand over the buzzed part of her head, mumbling to herself, "Two for two. Fuckin' great track record today, Della."

Duke's sympathy for Adelaide was well beyond obliterated by this point, which he hoped was clear in the parting glare he shot at her before he headed towards Jennifer to check on her.

Adelaide mumbled a bit more loudly so the room heard her, "I'm, uh, I'm gonna go check on Brielle. Maybe get ready for the day. You two…aren't even listening to me anymore. Right. Later."

Adelaide left them alone, but she was right; neither of them were really paying attention to her anymore. Duke was focusing on Jennifer, and how she was trying to keep her brave face on, even as chewed on the corner of her lip and had basically ripped her bagel to pieces in the few seconds it took for him to cross the shop to her. Her fingers were covered in the cream cheese she had spread on her bagel, but whatever was happening in her mind was intense enough for her not to care. He wasn't even sure if she knew she was doing it, especially since she'd started to then tear apart the bigger pieces that she'd ripped up. Little John had moved to the side once Adelaide was gone, giving Jennifer some space but staying close to her and keeping his eyes trained towards the back of the shop in the direction that Adelaide went.

It was similar to the space cushion Duke often gave to her, once he thought about it.

Duke scratched Little John's head as he passed, earning an appreciative grunt from the dog as he did. He stood next to her, leaning his hip against the counter as he reached out and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. Her hair, having been left to dry on it's own, actually had a lot of curl to it. He'd forgotten just how much it had until he saw it like this. It was decidedly longer, too, even with the curl. He wondered if she remembered when he'd told her that he loved the curl of her hair, and if that was why it was longer.

Probably not, he thought, but it was nice to think about.

She closed her eyes at his touch, her hands stilling in their destruction of the bagel, and turned her head with his hand, sighing as she did. She stayed that way for a moment, her eyes still closed, before she finally looked at him, a tired smile on her face as he kissed her forehead. She immediately relaxed at his touch, the tension that had sprung up from Adelaide's comments easing away slightly as her smile briefly reached her eyes as she looked at him. But just as quickly as it was there, it was back to being a smile for his benefit.

He stroked her cheek with his thumb, smiling back at her, before gently rasping, "Hey."

"Hey." She repeated back, hoping to widen her smile as she looked up at him but it was even shorter than the first one. The exchange with her cousin was obviously still on her mind, but he could see that there was something else that was bothering her too.

He ran his fingers through her hair lightly, "You alright, Short Stack?"

She sighed and moved like she wanted to rub her face with her hands. Thankfully, she caught herself before she smeared cream cheese all over her face, and used a paper towel from under the counter to clean her fingers. She shrugged as she finally answered his question, balling up the paper towel and tossing it on to the counter, "I'm…I mean…I'm alive?"

He smiled back at her, rubbing her shoulder gently, "Gave me a hell of a scare though."

He leaned forward and kissed her head again, closing his eyes as he did, as if to convince himself that she was real. Something about this moment brought back up the memory from the night before—He does this when he's scared.

When he pulled away, she looked up at him with soft eyes even as she chuckled lightly at him, "Oh no, did I really? I'm so sorry."

He shook his head at her as his hand trailed down her back, "Something tells me that you didn't have much of a choice in the matter."

Jennifer smiled back at him before looking back down at her now thoroughly destroyed bagel, her expression shifting.

"Didn't have much of a choice." She mumbled to herself.

He didn't know the half of it. Hell, she didn't even completely understand it. What she did understand, was that she had heard a voice—or maybe it was voices that she heard, it was hard to remember that clearly—that had been so alien yet so familiar to her in her mind, as her body did something against her will, like she was sitting back seat in her own mind.

Do you remember everything that Puppet Duke did?

She remembered reaching for a doorknob, hearing Adelaide's voice, the feeling of the air around her being electrified, and the smell of ozone suddenly filling her nose—but then nothing.

Well, not nothing. There had been something in the darkness that followed trying to open the door—something that made her head feel like something was going to burst straight out of her skull, something that pulled at her, something that scared her—but whatever it had been had disappeared as soon as she'd come to.

She thought that maybe she remembered the hallway of doors Adelaide had asked her to imagine during her pseudo-hypnosis, but with all the doors thrown open, when she tried to think about it, though, the pain came back full force.

Duke rubbed her back again, trying to bring her back to him and out of her mind, "You okay?"

She just nodded back, still not looking at him yet and staring distantly at the destroyed pieces of her bagel.

"You wanna tell me what happened back there?" Duke asked carefully. There was something she wasn't quite ready to tell him yet—he could tell from how pointedly she was not looking at him—and he wanted to continue to give her the space she needed to talk to him.

She continued to not answer. Instead, she hopped off the stool, a determined set in her jaw, and headed back towards the Psychology section, grabbing his hand as she went. Little John followed closely behind, a quizzical look on his face that Duke was sure mirrored his own.

If a dog's face could be quizzical, that is.

Her stride stayed purposeful until they came back to the section. She hesitated at the start of it, staring intently at the wall opposite them for a moment. The smell of ozone still hung in the air, but it was much less pronounced than it had been. There was still some static in the air that made the hairs on Jennifer's arms stand on end, but she couldn't be sure if that wasn't because she was suddenly afraid to be back here again. Duke turned to her, wanting to ask her what was going on, but she was squeezing his hand so tightly that he knew that she probably wouldn't hear him anyway. Finally, she let his hand go and walked towards the bookcase that she'd been staring at so intently. He followed after her for a few steps, trying not to hover, but staying close in case she needed something from him. Or, Gods save him, in case she looked like she was going to pass out again.

He leaned against one of the bookcases and watched Jennifer carefully as she walked towards the bookcase and continued to study it. Little John sat next to him, apparently having the same thought as him to give Jennifer space. Duke glanced at Little John, only to see that Little John was already looking up at him, before he shrugged at the dog. Little John just sighed back, as if he were agreeing with whatever sentiment it was that Duke was sharing with him, and went back to watching Jennifer.

Jennifer wasn't sure what she expected. After all, the door had appeared magically so it was only logical (if that word could even still be applied to her life anymore) that it would disappear magically too. She tentatively reached a hand out to tap one of the shelves on the bookcase, pulling her hand back quickly, partially afraid that it would disappear as well. When it didn't, and seemed to still be there, she ventured to touch the books that sat on the shelf. She ran her fingers over the top of them, pulling out one and flipping through it to make sure that they were real. Or, at the very least, that they weren't just a bunch of bound blank pages on the shelf, as well as being about the subject that they were sorted into.

Old habits.

Because really, very few people understand how aggravating it can be to find a book's been misplaced—not that that really matters at the moment but—

She shook her head to stop that train of thought. She was just trying to distract herself from what she was doing and this didn't feel like something that she should be distracting herself from.

When she was satisfied with the contents of the book, she set it back in its spot, sighing as she did, and rested her hand on the shelf—now very satisfied that the self and it's contents were real, or real enough, and not going anywhere—as she glanced up the shelves to the top of the case.

She wasn't sure what she expected to see at the top of the case—a gargoyle? An answer? If the answers were as close as the top of a bookcase, then all of this would've been fixed days ago.

"What're you thinking?" Duke asked from behind her.

She looked back at him briefly before looking back at the bookcase, "I don't really—I mean—Would it—you wouldn't happen to know if…if you saw a door here, when you found me?"

He gave her a confused look for just a second before she started rambling, "It…it was about—it took up the whole bookcase—," she gestured with her arms to suggest the size of it, "—and it was dark brown and looked like it was made of oak. It…it looked old with, like, an iron handle and—,"

She stopped suddenly and looked at him, sighed heavily as she seemed to hear what she was saying, "And I sound like I'm out of my mind."

Duke gave her a reassuring smile even as he thought back to when he rounded the corner and saw Jennifer collapsed on the floor in Adelaide's arms. He hadn't really been paying much attention to anything other than Jennifer; the fact that he refused to lose her again consumed his thoughts and limited his perception of what was around them. His tunnel vision had been incredibly limiting; he didn't remember seeing a door where she now stood. He was fairly confident, however, that he would've remembered something as strange as a door in the middle of the section if he'd seen it—or been meant to see it.

He shook his head at her, "No, I didn't see a door there."

Jennifer nodded back, biting her bottom lip in thought. Duke added, "But that doesn't mean there wasn't a door there."

At her confused look, he continued, "When I finally got to you, Adelaide was holding your head and she kept saying, 'I sent it away' and 'I know how to fight the monsters'. That, uh, that mean anything to you?"

Jennifer smiled sadly at that, "When we were kids I—well, you know I have a thing with nightmares and all that, but the first time it happened around Adelaide, she just laid down next to me after I had calmed down and had done the whole hot chocolate thing with my dad, and she'd said, 'The monsters won't get you if I'm with you. I know how to fight them.'"

She let herself get pulled into the memory, trying not to let the fact that the memory seemed faded and fuzzy, like an old, out of focus photograph distract her. It didn't feel like hers anymore. It didn't feel like anything, actually. There was no sense of fondness or nostalgia as it played out; when the memory had been about her father and about his helping her after a nightmare, those feelings arose, but the rest with Adelaide just felt…empty. Like looking at someone else's family photo album.

The memory wasn't hers anymore.

Her gaze became unfocused as she started at the floor and said quietly, as if she were talking to herself, "It's weird, at the time, it'd been so comforting. And even a few times growing up, when either of us were scared or panicked, we'd just hug each other, and one of us would just say that to the other and it'd…" the thought ended and a new one cropped up, "But now? Now, I'm worried that she…that we have monsters that maybe neither of us can fight."

She brought herself back to the moment, pushing the thoughts that that led to away—because what could that mean? Why did she keep feeling this quiet threat over herself and her life here? Why did her memories of Adelaide suddenly feel faded and empty? What had she seen when she'd passed out? What had been on the other side of that door, real or not? Why had it disappear? How had it disappeared? And what did it have to do with Adelaide? What the hell was happening to her?

She pushed the questions away—nothing had been answered in the two hours since she'd last thought of them, if anything she had more questions, but there was no sense in dwelling on them any more than she already had—as she brought her focus back to the one question she had that Duke could help her suss out and looked at him, "But 'I sent it away'? What the hell does that mean? And you still seem very calm about all this; your life prepare you for girls who can see magically appearing and disappearing doors?"

He chuckled in response and walked to her. Little John, apparently satisfied that Jennifer was safe, or at the very least that Duke could handle whatever could happen to Jennifer should he leave, stood and headed back to the couch at the front of the store. Duke closed the distance between him and Jennifer, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close to him, as he answered, "Let's just say that even though it's been awhile since I've dated Hermione, I'm still pretty familiar with all the things that it comes with."

At her laugh, his grin only widened as he nuzzled her lightly behind her ear before kissing her forehead, "And I mean, hey, we—,"

"All have our stuff?" She smirked back at him, catching on that he was referring to the conversation that she had remembered between them last night, as she reached up to caress his neck lightly. He'd done it again—his familiarity, his eagerness to be with her, pulled her into him, caused her to mold into him, and chased away the other, pressing, fearful thoughts and questions that still clouded and obscured her mind. He was a force she didn't understand fully, but that she was willing to let guide and pull her any way he wanted. She wondered if he knew he had such a pull on her, or maybe it was meant as a balancer for the effect she had on him—both of them made the other weak but they still trusted each other with that weakness.

She gently guided his head down to her level as she leaned back against the bookcase, pulling him with her, "Right. Like you snoring when you drink red wine."

He smiled at her. She was doing it again—her humor, her warmth, her very presence was wrapping around him and relaxing him to the point where he was willing to push away how his instincts were telling him to get them out of here. He was more than willing to let her pull him however she wanted.

He kept his eyes trained on her lips as he braced his hands on the shelf on either side of her waist, rasping, "Very loudly."

"Very loudly." She nodded, just barely above a whisper, eyes half-lidded before she pulled him the rest of the way down into a kiss.

He kissed her gently, savoring the softness of her lips and the way she tried to raise higher on her toes into the kiss, and pulled her closer to him. It was as if that first kiss had opened the floodgates for every repressed urge to pull her close to him, to kiss her anywhere, to be with her; she seemed only too willing to be a recipient of those urges, so he was more than willing to indulge in those impulses. "Fractured familiarity" she'd called it. This didn't feel fractured to him—if anything, this was the most whole he'd felt in some time.

She was right; this was well worth the wait.

Jennifer moaned lightly into the kiss, as she ran her fingers through his hair, and while she would've loved to have stayed like that for longer, she pulled away first—much too soon for Duke's liking—pressing her forehead against his for a moment, and pulled her lips into her mouth as she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, thinking maybe he had overstepped something without realizing it, and started to pull away from her before she could, "I didn't—I thought—,"

"What?" She asked, coming back to herself as her hands slid down from his neck to rest against his chest. She studied his face and caught his meaning, tightening her grip on his shirt instinctively, "Oh. Oh! No, that wasn't—that was great."

He smiled at her as she mumbled, "I'm sorry I've just—I'm trying—,"

"I just want you to tell me if I ever overstep something," Duke interrupted, covering one of her hands with his on his chest.

She let out a small chuckle, "Don't worry, Duke, if you overstep a boundary, you will be the first person to know."

He smiled back but could tell there was something more on her mind as he moved his other hand from the bookcase to resting on her waist. He watched her for a moment before she spoke carefully, plucking absently at his tank top with her free hand, "So. I take it that me finding magical doors isn't really a first?"

He sighed, letting his head fall briefly before standing up straight again to address her directly, "No. Unfortunately, that was part of the reason why…everything that happened to you happened."

"Because of Haven, right?" she asked, her gaze falling to just the right of him as she started piecing things together in her mind. That was the start of an answer to one of the litany of questions still tugging at her mind—she was important to his hometown because she could find magical doors.

Great.

So what the fuck did that even mean?

And what the hell kind of town needed magical doors anyway?

He nodded in response, bringing his other hand from her waist so that he covered both of hers on his chest, "Because of Haven, yeah. But how did you—?"

"Just a feeling." She smiled briefly up at him, before she sighed, "Is there any chance you'll tell me all about Haven and what the fuck it has to do with me sometime soon?"

He tilted his head to the side for a moment, as if he were considering it, before a sly smile spread across his face. He moved his hands from over hers on his chest to her neck, tilting her head back slightly, walking them slowly back to the bookcase, and kissed various parts of her face, mumbling between kisses, "What about dinner? Tonight. My place. I'll cook, we'll eat, and I'll tell you everything you want to know."

Duke pulled back slightly to look at her and couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face; her eyes were half-lidded again and her beautiful lips were parted at his touch. She pulled herself back to the present, and to his proposition, to give him a playfully skeptical look, "Your place? I thought you lived on a boat."

"I do," he smiled, leaning back down to kiss along her jaw, "I sailed down here, just to look for you."

Jennifer giggled in response to that, and tried to say something witty back, only to have her breath hitch slightly as he kept kissing—wait did he actually nip at her a little?—along her jaw. She cleared her throat, "And you cook?"

He chuckled as he moved down to her neck, "My culinary skills go well beyond julienning vegetables."

She giggled again, "That sounds, um, that sounds…tempting. But are you sure you're free?"

He pulled back and gave her a confused look, "What are you talking about?"

She nervously bit her lip, shifting from foot to foot under his hands, "Well it's just—I saw you in front of the store on your phone, and it looked like you were having a pretty intense talk with whoever that was—and I'm not asking 'cause if it's one of those 'below board' things then it might be best if I just don't know—and I mean, I understand if you have to work and that you aren't, like, required to stay with me and—,"

"I'm free." He said, interrupting her and tucking a stray curl behind her ear.

Her eyebrow quirked up at him, "So that call—?"

"Just a friend of mine checking in." He answered easily, and a bit quickly. It wasn't technically a lie, he tried to rationalize to himself, but he couldn't convince himself of it completely.

The speed of his answer obviously wasn't lost on Jennifer, if that speculative look meant anything. He tried to give her his best disarming smile and kissed her cheek, "Nothing's pulling me away from you."

He paused briefly, considering his statement, before adding, "Besides your cousin. Apparently."

Jennifer sighed at that, agreeing with his unspoken annoyed sentiment. She was really going to need to talk to Adelaide—first, she's fine with her going on a date with some guy—an admittedly very attractive guy—she just met who claimed to know her and talking about how she'd been too overbearing and how that was going to change, then, not even twenty-four hours later, Adelaide's right back to weird over-protection as if she hadn't said that she knew she was being overbearing. Something was going on with her cousin, and she was going to have to get to the bottom of it eventually. For now, though, she had that attractive stranger who'd claimed to know her in her hands and she wanted to enjoy that.

A wily smile lit across her face as she tugged on his shirt lightly, trying to change the subject back to their flirting—her cousin didn't get to pull him away from her when she wasn't even there, "Okay. So we'll have dinner. You'll cook, we'll eat, we'll talk; and after I get all my answers from you? What'll we do then?"

"Well," he sighed, smirking at her and letting her change the subject, "You can stay as long as you want, of course, and I can always bring you back here when you're ready. So, really, the rest of the evening is up to you."

She tilted her head slightly, considering it briefly before she wrapped her arms around his waist. She knew what she wanted; what she'd wanted deeply and indescribably since her memories of him first began to emerge, and it was time she finally let him know what that was. Fractured familiarity be damned—she felt good about him, about them, and it was about time she enjoyed a good feeling for all it was worth.

She pushed herself off the bookcase and raised on her toes to pay him in kind for his kisses along her jaw, pecking a few of her own along the stubble of his jaw and down his neck. At his barely contained groan, she grinned against his warm skin, murmuring, "And if I wanted to stay the night?"

He couldn't—and didn't even try to—contain the spark that appeared in his eyes, nor the grin that spread across his face at her question, "I think I can make that work."

Jennifer beamed at him and pulled him down to kiss him properly again. He took a step closer to her, pressing her back against the bookcase and against him. She was a little surprised at herself; she'd never been one to be so immediately physically affectionate with a significant other, let alone someone she'd only really known for a couple of days. But kissing him, being like this with him, felt right; like coming home after being away for longer than you'd planned or wanted. Home had been far and away for a long time but she finally felt like she was back—if not finally on the familiar roads that led to it. And she wanted to be here, like this, with him, for as long as she could.

Unfortunately, it seemed like the Universe had other plans.

Distantly, Jennifer heard the bells on the front door of the shop jingle, followed by Holly calling out a greeting, "Who's ready to spend irresponsible amounts of money?"

Jennifer pulled out of the kiss, a bit reluctantly, to laugh at her friend. Duke groaned, moving his hands from her waist to brace himself against the bookcase and caging Jennifer in his arms again, as he rested his head on her shoulder, mumbling mostly to himself, "Once. Just once I'd like to not be interrupted when we do that,"

She lightly ran her fingers through the shorter hair on the back of his head again, chuckling at his complaint. She opened her mouth to call out a response to Holly, only to be cut off as Adelaide walked passed, calling out her own reply, "I don't know if the irresponsibility has anything to do with amount of money when it comes to you, Hol."

Adelaide shot them a glance as she passed, "Jen will be out once she and Duke are done…discussing something."

Jennifer shot her a glare that Adelaide only shrugged at, continuing to the front of the shop and heard her greet Joshua who had apparently accompanied Holly back to the shop. Jennifer turned her head and kissed Duke's neck, just below his ear and whispered to him, "We should go."

He sighed and turned his head to look at her speculatively, silently asking if that were necessarily true. She chuckled at him again before popping her shoulder up a bit to prompt him to raise his head off her shoulder. She held his face in her hands for a moment once he raised his head to keep him from letting it fall back to her shoulder and pecked his lips quickly, "I know. But we have tonight for that."

"Promises, promises," he grumbled in response.

She arched an eyebrow at him before a mischievous glint lit up her brown eyes. She let her fingers trail down his neck lightly to his chest again as she placed a gentle kiss to the hollow of his throat, murmuring, "Now when I have not made good on my promises?"

He groaned and moved to press her back against him and to convince her to show him how she planned on making good on those promises, only to be stopped when he realized she was pushing against his chest—gently, to be sure, but pushing none the less.

"C'mon." She laughed, patting his chest to get him to move. If she had been conscious of how she was pushing him away, he couldn't see it on her face. Conscious or otherwise, it was a good reminder to him of how precarious their relationship still was, and how unsure of herself she still was when it came to him.

This was not about him.

He sighed again before finally, and reluctantly, standing up straight and letting her walk passed him. She grabbed his hand, still smiling at him, and led him to the front of the shop where Holly and Adelaide were talking at the counter. Joshua was sitting on the couch, leafing through a magazine noncommittally, and keeping a careful eye on Adelaide with Little John resting his head on the other armrest of the couch, watching the street. Adelaide was wearing a pair of skinny jeans with her combat boots laced up tight around her lower calves and a white t-shirt with a Wonder Woman symbol across the front of it. Her brown hair waved tiredly on her head, and she was wearing her rectangle rim, small glasses.

It was one of her more simplistic outfits and seeing her in it actually made Jennifer a little nervous; Adelaide always dressed a bit more…extravagantly than what she was wearing right now, and only dressed down when something was on her mind. Dressed down like this, her cousin looked…old. The "tired, been doing something so long, seen so many heavy things" kind of old that has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with demeanor. She'd seen her like this on the day of Robbie's and later Desmond's funerals, and she had hoped that that would've been the last time she ever needed to see her cousin looking that old. And even though she was still mad at her for treating her like a child and for the things she said, Jennifer's heart broke slightly as she looked at Adelaide.

Adelaide's a fighter, she thought to herself, squaring her posture slightly to keep her resolve and her anger firm, Adelaide always knows.

Holly was, of course, impeccably dressed, causing Jennifer to wonder if maybe she had taken over Joshua's closet at some point—which would explain why he always seemed to only wear the same six shirts every time Jennifer saw him. She was wearing a long, charcoal tunic, with a mint green floral print cardigan over it and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans. Her head scarf was a mint green to match the base color of the cardigan and was done in such a way to allow for her dark, natural hair to come through on top of her head. She was wearing her large lensed sunglasses from yesterday, and her mint green lipstick added even more color to her overall ensemble.

Jennifer grinned at Holly who was already crossing the room to hug her, "Holly, once again, you outshine all of us with your style."

Little John raised his head from the armrest and kept his eyes on Jennifer as Holly had moved towards her and hugged her. Holly just laughed as she pulled out of the hug to look down at herself, "This? Child, this is thrown together from a box that Joshua's been holding for me for like a year. I'm just lucky I still fit in all of it. Besides, you look absolutely incredible."

Jennifer tsked speculatively at Holly who only grinned and blushed back at her. Joshua just chuckled from his spot on the couch, still noncommittally flipping through the magazine in his lap as Little John thumped his tail against the cushion next to him. Holly glanced passed Jennifer to Duke and nodded to him, "Sailor."

"Sunshine." He greeted, returning the nod and smirking lightly at her.

Holly chuckled lightly and turned her gaze back to Jennifer, "You ready?"

Jennifer sighed, "Well almost—I would love to brush my hair and teeth and do my makeup first—,"

Adelaide crouched behind the counter, grabbed something from the shelf, and placed Jennifer's purse on the counter, "Taken care of. I put some of your makeup, some of those little disposable toothbrush things, and a spare hairbrush in there; as well as your wallet, phone, and keys."

Jennifer shot Adelaide a cold look as she approached the counter and snatched her purse up, "You pack me a lunch too, Mom?"

Adelaide's jaw clenched at Jennifer's tone, but let out a slow breath, conceding, "No but I took the liberty of giving you my credit card. Figured I owed you some fun after the way I've been acting."

Jennifer narrowed her eyes at her, wanting to say something snide in response but she couldn't think of anything; she just kept her gaze steady on Adelaide. They stared at each other for a very frosty moment before Jennifer finally turned away, tsking again under her breath, and went back to Duke. Holly raised her eyebrows at the all but frozen exchange between Jennifer and Adelaide but held her peace through it. When she caught Jennifer's eye, Jennifer just shook her head, earning an understanding nod from Holly. Joshua, however, just continued to study his magazine page intently, hoping that no one would notice him or draw him into the conversation and growing tension of the room. Little John growled quietly on the couch next to him, his dark eyes still trained on Adelaide.

Jennifer, once she reached him, took Duke's hand again, feeling a trill rise inside her when he instinctively entwined their fingers, and looked up at him as she said just quietly enough so only he could hear her, "Will you be here? When I get back?"

She couldn't quite explain why she was so nervous about him not being here when she got back, about him just being gone if she wasn't with him, but she could feel that it had something to do with how transient her life had felt since she started asking questions about herself and about what's been happening to her.

Thankfully, Duke seemed to understand her anxiety and knew what to do to try to ease it in her. He let go of her hand to hold her face so that she'd tilt her head back enough for him to kiss her. She placed her hands over his, wrapping her fingers around his wrists, rose a little higher in her heels to meet him at his height, and deepened the kiss. He smiled and let out a breath of a chuckle against her lips, prompting her to giggle nervously. When he broke the kiss he just smiled down at her, nuzzling his nose against hers gently. Her eyes were still closed and he didn't try to not feel ecstatic as he watched her eyes open slowly, all luminous and bright. He pecked another kiss lightly to her lips, whispering, "I'll be waiting."

She pulled her lips into her mouth, and smiled up at him, moving her hands from his wrists to rub his forearms briefly.

"C'mon Holly," she called over her shoulder before turning away and out of his hands towards Holly and the front door of the shop, "that money's not gonna irresponsibly spend itself."

"No it is not." Holly conceded, grinning widely and wrapping her arm around Jennifer's shoulders, "Joshua's letting me use his car today, it's just around back."

"Please take care of it!" Joshua called after her nervously.

Holly just waved him away as she pushed opened the front door. Jennifer gave Little John's head a parting scratch, earning an appreciative grunt from him, before following after Holly.

Duke smiled after them until the ringing of the bells on the doors faded away, they disappeared down the street, and all he was left with was Adelaide, the silence, and his questions.

---

They climbed into Joshua's tan little four-door sedan, and headed down Hanover Street. Holly made appropriate Big Sister critiques of the car—citing the fast food wrappers on the floor of the backseats, and his poor music tastes as "Little Brother Errors"—as Jennifer surveyed her hair in the mirror that was set into the visor, trying to decide whether brushing it would help or hurt the curl. She scrubbed at her teeth with the little disposable toothbrush and was glad that her mouth was finally clean—she had a brief flash of embarrassment at the thought that she'd kissed Duke with what could only be called "morning breath," but she tried to comfort herself with the thought that at least he had morning breath too. And, in all honesty, that had been the last thing on her mind at the time.

Holly grinned at Jennifer once she was through making fun of the state of Joshua's car interior, "Alright, babe, where we headed?"

Jennifer shrugged as she flipped the visor back up, thus getting rid of the mirror for the time being and deciding that until they actually get somewhere there was no point in fussing anymore with her appearance yet, "No idea; I thought you had a plan."

Holly gave her a confused look, "No, Adelaide called me and said you wanted to go shopping."

Jennifer met her skepticism with her own, "No, you called Adelaide and—,"

"I think someone's lied to us." Holly said, at first sounding mockingly exasperated, until her face turned serious as if she'd started to piece something together that Jennifer wasn't quite sure she wanted to know about just yet.

Jennifer let out a disbelieving sigh before mumbling a curse under her breath, and rubbed her forehead, saying, "I don't know what's going on with her."

There was a pause, Holly focusing on the road and Jennifer finding her next words.

"Alright so first," She said, emphatically starting to tick things off on her fingers, "when I mention that I'm itching to move out and find my own place again, she tells me that that's a no-go until I get a fucking doctor's note. Then, the next day—the next day, Holly—after I tell her about some weirdo hugging me and claiming to know me—I expected her to basically put me on lockdown and what does she do?"

Jennifer turned to Holly to gesture at her and repeat the question, "What does she do, Holly?"

"Jen, you're disintegrating again—," Holly tried to interrupt.

"She sets me up on a date with the guy!" Jennifer basically yelled back at her, and either genuinely didn't hear Holly, or didn't care about her pointing out that Jennifer was quickly unraveling. It was if a cork had been popped, and all of Jennifer's agitation towards her cousin, her situation, her memories, everything had finally reached a head and needed to be let out somewhere. It was just unfortunate that it had to be all over Holly.

Holly could tell that the earlier tension between her and her cousin, coupled with whatever new discoveries Jennifer had made in the last twelve hours about said hugging weirdo, had created a perfect storm of anxiety riddled babbling from her best friend. This was all too similar to the pre-panic attacks that Jennifer used to have after her father died that Holly helped her through. She knew the best thing to do was to listen to her and just keep trying to get through to her to get her to calm down.

Jennifer continued rambling, oblivious it and her increasing speech, "Then she spends all of last night talking to him and telling him about our tragic family history like it's a summarization of a telenovela or some shit and not something that still keeps her up at night like I know it does—,"

"Jen—," Holly tried to interrupt again, a bit more firmly this time.

"—only to start today by acting spikey and spiteful to him and me!" Jennifer continued, completely unhindered by Holly's attempted interruption, and unaware that her voice was raising to the point of basically yelling, "Never mind the fact that my entire grip on reality has been not only questioned but essentially obliterated in the last couple of days—let's throw in a weird acting cousin on top of it—who might not even be my cousin at all!"

"Jennifer!" Holly yelled at her. Jennifer finally stopped talking, only to realize that she hadn't really taken a breath in all that ranting and that at some point she'd also started yelling. She took a few slow deep breaths to slow and calm herself down. That was not how she wanted to start this day with Holly.

Though, if she were being honest with herself, nothing about how this day had started was how she'd wanted.

Well.

Maybe one thing.

Holly had pulled the car into a parking space by one of the boutiques that was on the other side of the North End, and was now turning towards Jennifer, bringing her hands from being level with her shoulders and lowering them and whispering, "That's good; breathe, Jennifer. Deep, slow breaths. There you go."

Jennifer took a few more breaths, trying to get the prickling that'd started behind her eyes to disappear. She smiled weakly at Holly, "Sorry. Sorry, I'm fine now; I'm fine."

She grabbed her purse from between her feet on the floor of the car and started rummaging through it for the makeup that Adelaide had put there. She flipped down the visor again to use the mirror there. Her face was flushed from her impromptu yelling fit, and her hair was still a mess. She pulled out her brush, deciding that she was just going to try to tame the curl to her hair. As that proved fruitless, she pulled out a hair tie and tried to gather her hair at the base of her skull to just keep it out of the way. There were a few strands that were too short to fit into the hair tie and curled lazily on either side of her face. She sighed at them, trying to blow them up and away from her face, but they stubbornly stayed where they were.

Holly leaned back against the driver side door, giving her an incredulous look as Jennifer started rummaging through her purse for her makeup again, "Right. 'Fine.' You're the literal picture of it."

Jennifer closed her eyes and sighed as she pulled out her makeup bag, "So maybe I'm not that fine."

"Really?" Holly asked, a sarcastic tilt edging out her tone as Jennifer fixed her makeup, "'Cause I didn't get that from the ranting and the yelling and the not breathing."

Jennifer narrowed her eyes at her, pausing in her work briefly, "I was breathing."

Holly's skepticism only increased with that comment, as exemplified with her incredulously widened eyes and slight head bob.

Jennifer sighed again, and finished her makeup. She surveyed her work for a moment more in the mirror before putting her things back in her purse and flipping the visor back up. Holly crossed her arms and watched Jennifer, waiting for her to start talking. After everything was back in her purse and she couldn't use that as an excuse anymore, Jennifer stared blankly out the window for a moment before saying quietly, "Holly?"

"Yes?" Holly answered, watching Jennifer carefully.

"Hypothetically," Jennifer paused, chewing on her lip absently. She continued, "what if I weren't entirely human?"

Holly arched an eyebrow at Jennifer, "Why do you ask?"

Jennifer hesitated for a moment more, unsure of how verbalize everything that had come to light in the last twelve hours, before finally speaking. She told Holly about the nightmares, about the door appearing and then disappearing in the bookstore, about her losing consciousness, about the voices that called to her and how familiar they had all been, about how when she'd lost consciousness she was sure she saw something—whether it was a vision, or more insight into her own mind was still unclear but she saw whatever it was, she knew that much. After she finished, she choked on a mirthless laugh and said, "Well, I guess my question should've been, 'What if I weren't sane?' I don't know why I asked about not being human…maybe that would be easier to handle than not being sane…"

"You're the one who keeps saying I'm not crazy—I'm—,"

She trailed off, the memory coming and going and still missing chunks of it even as it felt more and more like hers, and stared absently into the dashboard. Part of her knew why she'd first asked about being human—something in the voices, in the door, in going back to where the door should have been, whispered in the back of her mind that this had happened before, that this was what she was meant to do, that this was who she was—this was what she was. But everything else about her, everything that made her truly her knew that it wasn't. Not really. That she didn't want that to be what she was, that she was…hell she didn't know what she was, but she knew that those voices thought they did.

And that they were wrong.

Holly reached over and took Jennifer's hand in hers, getting her to look at her for the first time. Holly held her friend's smaller hand in both of hers and said gravely, "Jennifer. You are not crazy. None of—this is—,"

Holly sighed and rubbed her forehead. She kept her eyes closed for a moment, heavily considering her next words before she finally said, "You're not the only one having…difficulty with their memory."

Jennifer stared at her friend, wide eyed, as Holly explained her parallel memory sets. She explained that the memories she had of Adelaide felt like she was looking at someone else's photo album with the repeated mantra of "Remember this. This is important. Nothing else matters, there is only this" ringing through her mind every time she thought of them.

She told Jennifer that she remembered—at the same time as a great deal of the memories that pertained to Adelaide—Jennifer going through a time where she thought she had schizophrenia, that Jennifer had Skyped with her one day from a place called Haven where she was looking for information on her birth parents—"A lie," Holly had said, trying to add some levity to the discussion, "I think. Or at the very least, part of a lie. Either way, apparently my lying lessons did pay off." Jennifer didn't think it was funny—and that she had been living on a boat with a man named Duke.

She told her about how they'd talked, not extremely frequently but frequently enough, and how they had lost contact with each other for a little bit, but before it started to worry her, before she could even think that something was wrong, Jennifer had called her, and had mentioned Adelaide or something from her time here, and it was like all these other memories showed up and answered all her questions.

Jennifer sat there in stunned silence for a long moment after Holly had finished, before Holly added gently, "Um. Duke knows about my double memory. And so does Ad—Adelaide knows."

Adelaide always knows.

Jennifer felt like she'd been punched in the gut—or more accurately, like someone had taken a baseball bat and swung it straight into her torso and was now laughing at her—but there was also a quiet degree of complete lack of surprise. About either Duke or Adelaide knowing, really. It made sense. That was what he and Holly were negotiating back at the restaurant the night before; that was the real nature of their relationship to each other. Holly and Adelaide must've talked about everything yesterday before the aquarium, after Jennifer and Duke had left. That would explain some of Adelaide's changes, why she pushed for her to go with Duke—but what else did Adelaide know? And why hadn't Adelaide told her any of this?

Wasn't she her cousin?

But was that even true?

Was anything she knew true?

Jennifer let out a brokenhearted laugh, "God of course. Of course she knows. She probably—God."

She looked at Holly, "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Holly sighed, "I should've. I should've told you, and I'm sorry. But you were only just starting digging things up in yourself so I was afraid you were gonna shut me out, or think that I was—," she let out a mirthless chuckle, interrupting herself, "hell I don't know what you would've thought if I told you 'Oh hey Jen, turns out I might have two sets of memories surrounding you; what do you make of that?'"

Holly paused for a moment before added under her breath, "I thought I was just as crazy as you think you are."

Jennifer bit her bottom lip as she looked from Holly, to her hands, to out the window, then back to her hands. She didn't know what she would've done if Holly had told her the truth either. At least not then. The incident with Duke that first night had already rattled her to her core; she couldn't imagine Holly dropping that on top of her at the same time. So while she was hurt that Holly had been sitting on this for who knew how long, she understood why she kept it to herself.

"But, uh, Adelaide seemed to know a lot about this whole thing too," Holly continued, her concern for her friend, as well as her fear for the damage her lie of omission had done to their friendship, making her speak carefully, "She…she talked about how there were people out there that wanted to hurt you and take you away—that you were special and that all of this had something to do with how you always seem to be able to find things. And maybe it has something to do with that door you said you saw in Adelaide's shop? But, Jesus, what the fuck do I know about any of this?"

Holly was mostly talking to herself now, as Jennifer placed her elbows on her knees and held her head in her hand for a moment, taking a few slow breaths to quell the panic that was rising in her chest. People wanted to take her away? People wanted to use her? She wasn't special—she was just an ex-journalist for the Boston Globe, she was just a girl with two dead parents and no idea how to find her biological family, she was just plain old Jennifer Mason. She didn't want to find magical doors, she didn't want to hear voices or feel like her life was coming apart at the seams or feel like this wasn't the first time any of this had happened, she didn't want to be special. She wanted to go home. She wanted to be back with Duke.

She just wanted to be Jennifer Mason, whatever that meant.

Holly stopped her ramblings to herself and placed her hand on Jennifer's back to rub it gently while Jennifer tried to gather herself again.

"She…" Holly spoke quietly, as if she were trying to soothe a scared animal, "She said that you're safest with her. At least for now. But I don't know if—,"

"Holly?" Jennifer tried to keep her voice even but it broke on her friend's name.

"Yeah?" Holly murmured gently, like a mother talking to a scared child.

"Could you…could you stop? Please?" Jennifer's voice quavered as she spoke, still trying to keep it even and strong, but that only sound more strained that it really was. She didn't want to think about this anymore. She didn't want to think about Adelaide, or her questions, she just wanted to pretend to be normal.

Holly nodded, "Yeah."

She focused on just carefully rubbing Jennifer's back as she continued to try to breathe. This…was a lot to take in all at once. Which seemed to just be the way the world worked lately—questions on top of questions that weren't answered yet and when they were answered they just resulted in more questions and there never seemed to be an end to it.

After a few minutes, Jennifer finally sat up and swept her fingers under her eyes to stop whatever tears were threatening to fall there. She turned to Holly and tried to smile at her, "Can we…can we be normal for a little bit? Please? I…I can't talk—I can't even think about this anymore right now."

Holly gave her a confused look, "Don't you want—?"

"Yes, I want answers." Jennifer answered tiredly, "More than anything. I want to know what the fuck is going on, why it all has to center around me, and I want to know the truth. But we don't have all the parts yet—I don't know completely what Duke knows, and I don't know when—or even if—Adelaide will finally be upfront with me about everything."

Jennifer sighed and mumbled to herself, "More questions than answers—and here I was actually kind of starting to enjoy my retirement from journalism."

Holly nodded, "Yeah. Yeah okay."

Jennifer grabbed her purse and started climbing out of the car as Holly asked, "Why don't you tell me about what happened last night? You and Duke seemed awfully chummy this morning."

Jennifer smiled, this time with some genuine warmth, as a faint blush colored her cheeks. The events of last night and this morning played back out in her mind, pushing away her questions and panic about whatever mystery her life had in it now away, if only for a moment. Holly grinned mischievously at Jennifer as she clambered out of the car after her, "Oh, so something did happen! Tell me tell me tell me!"

As she'd started her chant, Holly fell into step next to her and had grabbed her arm to start shaking it in time with her chanting, earning a laugh out of Jennifer for the first time. Thank God for Holly—without Holly and her knowing just want to do to distract her, Jennifer's sure she'd completely lose her mind; if she hasn't already. Jennifer tried to brush her off and walked a few feet ahead of her, "There's not much to tell!"

"Oh bull shit!" Holly laughed back rushing to catch up to her, "The second I mentioned him you started blushing and grinning like a school girl! I half expected you to start sparkling or something!"

Jennifer just laughed at her as she fell back into step next to her, "Nothing happened!"

They started walking to the store, and Holly quickly looped her arm through Jennifer's and pulled her against her side as they walked, "Oh no you don't! You don't get to do the 'nothing happened but something did happen but I want to dangle it in front of you' dance that you always do—this is too important!"

Jennifer laughed again, "Fine! Fine!"

Holly bounced as she walked, holding the door open for Jennifer and following after her quickly so she didn't miss anything. Jennifer told her about their moment the night before—how she'd had a nightmare and he helped talk her through it, and about how she'd read to him most of the night—about their kiss that morning, discretely letting Holly know where those events fell in with her earlier story, and about their moment in the Psych section when she'd gone back to see if the door was still there or if it was gone. Holly made the appreciative and appropriate noises during the story about how cute they had been, even grabbing Jennifer's arm and shaking it at certain points again as if trying to draw her attention to just how cute the story was. It reminded her of when they were in high school, and when their problems were at least kind of more manageable.

Jennifer just blushed and smiled, rolling her eyes at how ridiculous Holly was being, "It's not that—,"

"Yes it is 'that'!" Holly interrupted, shaking her arm a little, "So what were you two talking about before we left? Getting all up close and personal like."

Holly's eyes were bright in curiosity and humor, even rolling her shoulder as she said the word 'personal,' making Jennifer's own smile grow. Holly always did this. She always found a way of helping her forget her problems and of making her laugh. Even when Jennifer was young enough to think that she'd never laugh again, Holly had found away. She shrugged, "Well, we're apparently going to his place for dinner tonight, so—,"

Holly squealed, cutting her off, grabbing her arm again, and shaking it excitedly—Jennifer wondered absently if Holly could actually shake her arm out of its socket, "Hell yeah you are!"

"Holly—," Jennifer smiled, blushing and even rolling her eyes at her.

"What are you going to wear?" Holly interrupted, her expression suddenly serious.

Jennifer gave her a confused look, "Excuse me?"

"To your date?" Holly clarified, a bit too condescendingly, "With the hot guy who stayed the night at your place last night, who you were all over this morning, who—,"

"I get it." Jennifer laughed.

"Good! So what are you going to wear?" Holly put an exaggerated emphasis on the word "wear," trying to imply something that Jennifer just was not getting yet.

Jennifer's brows stayed knitted in her confusion as she looked down at her outfit, "Is there something wrong with what I have on now?"

Holly gave her an incredulous look for a moment before she rolled her eyes to the ceiling, closing them for a moment and whispering to herself, "Give me strength."

"Holly," Jennifer said, carefully dragging her name out, "You know I get nervous when you talk to the Man Upstairs."

Finally, Holly looked back at her and said, a bit loudly and unnecessarily slowly, "I am asking. What lingerie. You plan to wear. For your date."

Jennifer felt like her face was on fire, "Oh. Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'," Holly giggled at her as she leaned on the top of a clothing rack, crossing her arms there and resting her chin on her forearms as she watched Jennifer for a moment.

Finally she expectantly asked, "Well?"

Jennifer, with her embarrassment shifting to a state where she was going to vehemently deny that anything was happening, focused on a dress hanging from a nearby rack as she replied, "Well what?"

Holly rolled her eyes again and nearly stamped her foot, "Dammit Jennifer!"

"I'm sorry!" Jennifer nearly yelled back before checking the volume of her voice, nervously looking around the store at the other shoppers, none of whom, thankfully, seemed to be interested in whatever was going on between them.

She continued in a harsh whisper, "I just can't believe you want to have this conversation in public!"

"What, as opposed to the incredible privacy of your cousin's bookstore?" Holly asked skeptically, now moving to lean with her left arm against the clothing rack that she'd been leaning on before so that her right hip jutted out.

Jennifer sighed exasperatedly. Despite her obstinance to Holly's…conversational topic choice, she had a point; this was probably her best—if not only—chance to talk about what she hoped for on her date without any repercussions or snide comments. Especially if her cousin's recent hostility was any indication of her attitude for any later developments.

If there were any later developments.

That was a thought for later, though; now was time to continue to pretend to be normal. Just for a little while longer.

Jennifer turned to Holly and finally answered her original question, "I mean…I'm not sure anything will happen tonight—We've only, like, just started dating—or I guess doing whatever the fuck it is that we're doing—and, I mean, you know me; this isn't like me—,"

"By rights, Jen," Holly interrupted, "I think the circumstances for you two coming together allows for a bit of a…deviation from your usual first date song and dance routine. Which, while fun, I'm sure, doesn't seem to be something that Duke's interested in."

Jennifer nodded in agreement, "That's sort how I feel about it too—on both counts. Anyway. So because of that uncertainty, I figured I'd, um," she lowered her voice and leaned closer to Holly so that Jennifer could be sure that she was the only one to hear.

Holly leaned forward slightly towards Jennifer as well, be sure that she heard her, as Jennifer spoke in a low tone, "I'd wear—I am wearing that light blue, lacey-kind-of-see-through set? Y'know?"

Holly's eyes sparkled with recognition as she stood up straight and said in a normal voice, "Oh! The Lucky set?"

Jennifer covered her eyes with her hand as her face burned, "It is not—,"

"Oh don't even." Holly grinned good naturedly, "I remember the set. I believe that it got quiet a bit of use during our college years."

Jennifer scrunched her nose at her, "It did not get—! That's not even kind of—! You were the one who called it the Lucky Set!"

Holly chuckled, shrugging dismissively, "Hey, if the shoe fits."

Jennifer continued to glare at her as Holly seemed to consider Jennifer's choice for a moment, tilting her head to the side as she thought. Then, she said, her tone a bit strained, "But that's…good. I mean it's, it's…practical."

Jennifer narrowed her eyes further at Holly, "That sounds like a bad thing."

Holly shrugged noncommittally, "Well it's just…if it were me and if I hadn't been laid in a year—,"

"It has not been a year!" Jennifer tried to defend, her face flashing red again and her eyes darting around the store to the other customers. Once again, none of them seemed to be paying them any mind—or, at least, not any obvious mind—and Jennifer was very, very relieved for that little gift from the Universe.

Holly gave her a briefly skeptical look before conceding, "Honey, the last time you even had the prospect of gettin' laid it was that Johnny—,"

"Jeffery." Jennifer corrected, smirking at her. It didn't really matter what his name had been, Jennifer knew Holly's point still stood. Still, it was the principle of the thing more than anything else.

"—Jeffery," Holly conceded, rolling her eyes, "guy who took you sailing."

Holly gave her a meaningful look, "And we all know—or think we know—how that ended."

Jennifer grimaced, "Yeah the whole 'getting knocked out by the boom of the sail boat into the water' thing did put a damper on the whole thing."

Whether or not it was real remained to be seen, but there was no point in bringing that up now; especially not since both of them could feel the sentiment without needing to mention it explicitly.

"Understandably," Holly nodded, "Anyway. If it were me, I'd go with something more…bold."

"Bold." Jennifer repeated, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Bold." Holly said back, nodding, "Something in red. You look good in red."

"I look good in anything." Jennifer said, mockingly defensive and falsely confident. Holly usually brought this side out of her—the side that believed that her bite was as bad as her bark, even if the opposite was true more often than not.

Holly laughed at that, "Alright, true."

Then a mischievous grin lit across Holly's face and a dangerous glint appeared in her eyes, "I think I know what we're shopping for today."

"Holly." Jennifer warned, though her smile betrayed her.

"Jennifer." Holly said back, mimicking and exaggerating her tone, "C'mon! Adelaide did give you her credit card, right? Said she owed you some fun? I think this qualifies as that. If not for the guarantee of future fun."

Jennifer kept her glare steady, prompting Holly's tone to go a bit whiny and she even stamped her foot again, "Oh c'mon! You deserve to get yourself some beard burn!"

"He doesn't even have a—!" Jennifer tried to interrupt, blushing at the idea, but not entirely displeased with the prospect.

"Let me help you!" Holly continued, undeterred, and dragging out the words of her sentence.

Jennifer laughed nervously at that, before a memory bubbled up and played out in her mind, distracting her from her friend and from her present.

She was in a restaurant—the Gray Gull, her past-self seemed certain—sitting next to Duke, and across from another couple—a blonde woman who seemed vaguely familiar to her present-self, and whom her past-self couldn't give a name to though it was obvious they knew each other, and a brown haired man who looked as if he wasn't used to smiling like he was currently doing in the memory and whom her past-self still couldn't give a name to. She kept shifting in her chair, trying to keep her thighs from touching under her skirt and agitating the irritation between them. Her past-self was chastising herself for not wearing something more under her skirt.

As the other couple left—to dance, or to get them all more drinks, the reason had gotten lost in the chatter of the restaurant and in time—she felt a hand settle itself lightly on top of her thigh. She'd turned to Duke—his hair was long enough to be tied back in a low ponytail, but that never stopped two strands from framing his face constantly; her present and past-selves loved his hair like this—hadn't she talked to him about keeping his hair long?—and felt herself smile at him as she reached up and tucked one of the strands behind his ear. He was looking at her with concern and she wanted to ease that in him—they were having fun, and she didn't want him fussing over her for something that—

"You okay?" He'd asked, just low enough for her to be the only one to hear and pulling her out of her thoughts, as he leaned closer to her.

She'd smiled sheepishly at him, "No—I mean, yes. I'm fine."

He'd arched an eyebrow at her, "Now I know you're a better liar than that. What's wrong? You've been squirming in your seat all night."

She felt her smile turn a bit mischievous as she'd replied, "It's nothing just a bit of, um, beard burn, I think."

She remembered watching as his face went from confusion to recognition and then to an amused smirk as he leaned closer, moving his hand down to her knee and then temptingly back up her thigh, pushing her skirt up slightly as he went. She bit the corner of her lip as his hand moved between her thighs and squeezed as he mumbled, "That…that's—,"

"Totally your fault," she remembered finishing for him, smiling as she turned a bit to face him.

He'd just smiled back at her before trailing the fingers of his free hand down her jaw and said, "Something I gladly take the blame for."

She came back to her present-self, somehow with a residual fluster, to see Holly looking at her, both expectantly and with barely hidden concern.

"You okay, Jen?" Holly asked, placing a nervous hand on her shoulder and squeezing it.

Jennifer smiled, trying to be reassuring, as she tucked one of the free strands of hair next to her face behind her ear, "Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine."

Another memory. A new memory. It didn't answer any of her questions—hell it didn't tell her much of anything really—but it was hers. And she got to keep it.

Holly studied her for another moment before asking her quietly, "Did you have another memory-thing?"

Jennifer smiled and nodded.

"What was it about?" Holly asked, her eyes wild with curiosity and excitement, "I'd guess from the blush it was something exciting."

Jennifer's smile turned playful as she answered, "Let's just say that I think you're right about going for something…bold."