Author Note: I've kind of been on a roll with ideas as of late. I started to write this a day or so after I posted the last chapter. I'm glad you've all seem to enjoy reading it. Your reviews bring a smile to my face, so I must thank you all for those. Onto the next chapter (the first part of the Wrestlemania) and I hope you all enjoy it. Let me know what you think.

A special thanks goes to: Levesque-Rollins823, rkosgirl1 and Leasha Ambrose for the wonderful reviews.

Another special thanks goes to: jennajaytn for becoming a follower to this story.

Chapter 18: Holding On And Letting Go

Roman

Waking the next morning, the first thing that came to mind was Savannah. The look on her face as she looked up at me from the floor. I felt sick to my stomach. This was not how things were supposed to go. Losing her had been the worst thing to happen to me. I never realized just how much I loved her until she was no longer there. Although, it was I that left her in the first place. The guilt of being unfaithful was eating away at me until I could no longer look myself in the mirror. She deserved better; but not in terms of Seth Rollins.

That man just made my blood boil. What hurt the most out of the whole situation, was that Dean would side with him. Dean Ambrose, my best friend. I never thought I'd see that day come to pass. Rolling out of bed, I quickly showered and got dressed. I had to meet Adrian at the cafe in less than twenty minutes.

Sitting behind the wheel of my car, I continued to stare out at the building. Hiring Adrian was probably one of the craziest things I've ever done. It border-lined stalking; but I felt keeping tabs on Savannah would help me understand what she needed. Maybe help me understand why she chose Seth as my replacement.

Looking down at my phone, the time turned 7:58 and I opened the door to step outside. Entering the cafe, Adrian was sitting at a small square table at the far corner. There was a briefcase sitting on the floor next to his feet. He looked up from the open folder on the table to catch me glance. "Roman, so nice to see you again." He greeted in his thick European Accent.

"So what have you gathered?" I asked sitting down in front of him.

"A lot actually. Did you know she had a past with the man in question?"

"We all were friends with another person until the selfish worm decided to go on his own. Savannah and I started to see each other; but she kept her friendship with him until about ten month ago." I explained, intentionally leaving out the part where I blackmailed Seth into walking away from the friendship to benefit me.

A questionable eyebrow rose after I finished explaining, like he wasn't believing me. I supposed since he was a private investigator that he was trained to know when someone was lying. He spun the open folder to show me the contents. There was half a dozen picture of Savannah from last night's Hall of Fame Ceremony. Her smile at some of the things said on stage. Her fingers twined with Seth's for the majority of the event and an occasional kiss on the cheeks. There was nothing but pure emotion in her eyes in every single picture I laid my eyes on.

"She's happy...in all of these..." I commented aloud.

"Yes...she is." Adrian said pulling the folder back towards him.

It wasn't just in those pictures. It was in ever single one he had taken over the last few days. My worst fear had finally come to pass. Savannah had finally admitted to herself that she was in love with him. I've known for a long time that she harbored feelings for him; but when he never took that step with her, she allowed me to sweep her off her feet. The question now was...what was I going to do now with the information?

"I guess there is no need to keep this going."

"Pardon me?"

"There is no sense in paying you to keep tabs on her anymore. She's happy. I'm going to let it go."

"Does this have anything to do with her concussion last night?"

I froze at his accusation. This man knew too much already and there was something different about him this time. I was pretty sure that I had sent him on his way after the ceremony was over, even before the incident happened. "That's not really the issue at hand here." I said handing him an envelope of money for the job had provided already.

"Is this really what you want?"

"Yes."

"Suit yourself."

He gathered his things up and stormed out of the cafe. Something felt off about the whole thing. I had to find out why. Turning to walk out moments later, I found myself taking a walk. The image of Savannah's fear stricken face came to mind once again and the only thing I felt at that point was disgust.

I knew that I had to let her go; but with every thought of it...it tore me to pieces on the inside. All I knew was that I couldn't let myself hurt her again. Walking passed a floral shop, I stopped and backtracked. Stepping inside, I didn't bother looking around. I knew what I needed. "Can I help you, sir?" The older woman asked from behind the counter.

"I need a half dozen of tigerlillies and a white daises to fill in." I answered.

"Are you taking these with you or is this going to be a delivery?" She asked turning to walk out around the wooden counter.

"I'll be taking them with me. I need a vase though and a card to write on."

She nodded and proceeded to gather the flowers I requested. I didn't know what room she was in so delivery was out of the question; but now, how the hell was I going to get them to Savannah without Seth being there to ruin the whole apology.

Savannah

I slowly opened my eyes. The grogginess was still there and my head still kind of throbbed on the one side. Seth was still asleep next to me. He lay on his back with his hair scattered all around. The urge to giggle was overwhelming; but I managed to keep quiet. I stared at him, taking in every detail of his face. His soft breathing was comforting.

Snuggling back into my pillow, I simply gazed on him trying to resist the urge to touch him. There had been so much that's happened between us over the last five years. I remembered how determined he was to reach through my cold exterior when he first met me.

"You're staring..." He said without opening his eyes.

"I'm sorry...I was just thinking..." I answered instantly feeling the blush color my cheeks.

He rolled to his side facing me. His beautiful eyes gazed right into my own. "Really? What were you thinking about?" He asked running his fingers down my bare arm. Sucking in my bottom lip, I begged myself not to make sound. His touch sent pleasurable chills straight through me and I couldn't control it, no matter how much I tried to block it out.

"Everything we've been through over the years."

"A crazy trip, huh?"

He ran a hand through his tangled hair. Crazy doesn't begin to describe everything that's happened over the years. I met him at the lowest point of my life. My youngest sibling lost his fight against pediatric cancer. He was only eleven years old. No matter how awful I had been to Seth, he was always nice to me. That's when I made it a point to let him in. If he was trying this hard, then how bad could it really be? That was the start of a friendship that would become so much more.

"Savannah, are you okay?" He asked bringing me back to reality.

"I don't know..." I answered honestly.

I really didn't know. Was I okay with not knowing what Roman blackmailed Seth with? Should I ask about it? This was Wrestlemania, the biggest event in our industry. There was so much buzz surrounding several of the matches on the card. One of them being, Roman's. Another one was Dean's. When you spoke of them, Seth's name was always mentioned. They were synonymous with each other, even though 'The Shield' was no longer a faction. I didn't want to take anything away from him tonight; but I did want to know what he wanted to hide so bad that Roman would use it against him.

"Savannah, you can tell me anything. You know that right?" He said cupping the side of my face.

"I heard them just before things got really fuzzy. Dean accused Roman of blackmailing you into walking away from our friendship all those months ago..."

Before I could stop myself, the words were already out of my mouth. Seth immediate sat up and let out a long sigh. I didn't know what to do now that it was out in the open now. The question now was, was he going to tell me himself or was I going to have to confront Roman about it? I preferred the first option. I sat up and turned to look at Seth's bare back. The tattoo that cascaded down his spine was beautiful. Knowing how much it meant to him, I couldn't help but smile. Reaching out, my fingers touched his warm skin. He jerked a little, startled by my sudden gesture.

"Dean's right. Roman did use something that happened a long time ago against me." He said standing up.

"Seth...I doubt it was anything that bad. I've done a lot of shit in my life to. No one is perfect."

"You're too forgiving, Savannah."

Getting up, he moved across the room to slip his discarded clothes back on. Scrambling to get out of bed, my phone skidded across the floor hitting the bottom of the wall near the bathroom. Not caring about if it was damaged or not, I stepped over it to stand before him. He pulled his tangled hair back into a tight bun behind his head. "Seth, please. I don't want this to tear us apart. I finally just got you back in my life." I pleaded.

Looking up from the floor to look me in the eye, I knew he could see the determination behind my eyes. I wasn't just going to give up and I sure as hell wasn't the same person anymore. I've learned to forgive and he was the person that taught me that, so I didn't understand why he wasn't trusting me with this. "Okay...you deserve to know what happened." He stated walking passed me to sit down on the edge of the unmade bed.

Seth

This was not the conversation I wanted to have with her; but it had be done. She needed to know, even if that meant that our budding relationship would end before it had a chance to really start. I wanted to be better than Roman in that sense. Thinking about that night, where it all went south only brought on the guilt that's followed me since then.

Savannah stood in the same place I left her. Her eyes pleaded with me to tell her the truth. If I didn't tell her, then she would no doubt ask Roman herself about it. "Do you remember when we all went to that club in New York with your sister?"

"Yeah, we went to celebrate your main roster debuts. I really don't remember too much from that night."

"Yeah I know...you were the drunkest I had ever seen you. You were not yourself at all, so I decided it was best that I took you back to the hotel."

She remained quiet and intent on listening to what it was that I had to say. I was pretty sure that ideas were already flooding her mind with all the possibilities that could have happened that night. To be honest, it really wasn't that bad to begin with; but it was the guilt that consumed me and Roman knew that.

"I got you up to your room and my intention was to get you into bed, so you could just sleep it off; but you had other ideas. You're lips took mine easy enough. It was not how I wanted that to happen. I wanted the first kiss I had with you to be special; but it felt too good to ignore. You continued to push forward. Once I regained control of the situation, I forced you to go to bed and that was it."

I avoided her eyes by looking away to the side of the bed. Those moments could never be taken back or the fact that I had enjoyed her intoxication to kiss me in that manor. Deep down I knew it was wrong; but I never stopped her from doing it and that was why I felt such guilt. That was why Roman used it, because he had known how guilty the whole thing made me feel.

Savannah padded across the floor to kneel before me. She took both of my hands into her own. Her touch was all too comforting for this kind of conversation. Her violet hair fell over her shoulders, framing her face angelically. "I honestly thought that had been just a dream I had...I never realized that I actually remembered doing all of that."

"You...remember..."

"There is nothing to feel guilty about. It was me that forced that on you and it pisses me off that Roman would play with your emotions like that."

"He felt threatened by our friendship."

"He should have trusted me more."

She stood up and held my head against her chest. I never felt so vulnerable than I did right that moment. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her down to sit right on my lap. A smile tugged at her lips, curling them up a little. Her hand come to rest on the side of my face, brushing her thumb across the facial hair on my chin. "You could have come to me about this instead of feeling so guilty over something that wasn't even your fault."

"There is no point in dwelling on it. We can't go back and fix it. All we can do is move forward."

"Oh I plan on doing that...with you."

Her response caught me by surprise. She still wanted to continue what was currently going on between us. Her smile was all the motivation I needed to let the past go. I had her in my arms now and that's all that really mattered. Her arms shifted so they were loosely hung over my shoulders to clasp her hands behind my neck. "I'm not going anywhere...not when this is the happiest I've been in a long time. You've given a part of me back that I thought I lost." She continued.

Leaning in, she hovered her lips over mine. Her warm breath caressed them, teasing them. Taking the opening for myself, I captured her mouth. Her desperation was showing with every movement of her lips across mine. She wanted to prove that she wasn't going to walk away from anything. I wanted to hold onto that and her for as long as I could. "I need to go, princess."

"I don't want you to."

I chuckled at her statement. She was absolutely adorable when she pouted. Her bottom lip stuck out just like a child's would when they didn't get their own way. I kissed her again, giving into her childish antics. She slid off my lap and onto the bed. I stood up to finally head back to my own room. I had Access stuff to take care of while the only thing she had to do was show up at the arena in a few hours. "I'll see you soon, okay." I said placing my lips on her forehead.

"Okay." She answered with a smile.

Walking out of her room, I hurried down the hall towards my own. There wasn't much time for to get ready for the Q and A session I was scheduled for at 10:30. If I was late, then I would take the punishment for it. Savannah was a little more important.

Savannah

Once Seth left, I crossed the room to retrieve my phone from the floor. The screen looked okay and nothing seemed damaged. A blue light flashed from the top corner of the device. It was telling me that I had some kind of message. Sitting back down, I swiped my finger across the screen and hit the message icon. To my surprise, there was a name I hadn't expected to be there displayed. Roman's.

"Is there anyway that we could talk? I'm free until noon today." Roman's message read.

Did I even want to talk to him? I had a feeling he wanted to apologize for that happened yesterday and to be honest, I kind of wanted the apology. The bitterness that was present between us was not something I wanted following me around for the rest of my career. I wanted to be able to look at him and still say 'hi' in passing. I didn't want animosity.

"Okay. I'm in room 356." Was all I said.

I quickly changed clothes, brushed my hair and teeth, and made the bed before the knock on my door interrupted me. Swallowing hard, I knew who would be on the other side of that door. Forcing myself to move, I opened the door to see him standing there. His long hair was down, cascading over his shoulders. In his hand was a vase of my favorite flowers, tigerlilies with white daises. There was an unreadable expression on his face and it worried me a little.

"Hi..." He greeted hesitantly.

I stepped aside to allow him access to the room. He sat the vase of flowers down on the end table that housed a small lamp. The words inside my head refused to form on my tongue. He turned to look at me directly, staying as far away from me as possible. Something was wrong, I could tell. "I know I'm the last person you want to see right now...but I had to apologize for what happened last night. I never meant..."

"I know. Roman, it's okay. I know you didn't mean to hurt me."

Taking a step towards him, he took a step back. I could see the fear in his eyes. He was afraid of something and in all the years I've known him, I've never known him to be afraid of anything; but what happened last night really must have gotten to him. "Savannah, there is so much you don't know. How crazy...how stupid...I did things after it was over."

"Roman...calm down. It's okay. We all do things we aren't proud of."

"It's not okay!" He snapped before taking another step back.

I hated to see him like this. Whatever he was feeling on the inside, it was eating him alive. It was more to than just us not being together anymore. Despite feeling angry at him for doing what he did to me, I didn't hate him. Hate was one of the worst emotions to have. From the time my brother died, I was filled with it until Seth helped me let it go. I could see that he was at war with himself at this point. "Roman...listen to me. Yes, you did a lot of hurtful things to me; but I'm not the kind of person to hold grudges. I know you didn't mean to physically hurt me last night and I never once blamed you. In fact, I blamed myself for it."

"Don't you dare do that. It was my fault."

"Maybe, maybe not. It doesn't really matter. It's over and done with. Today is your day to shine remember that."

He looked at me, really looked at me, for the first time since arriving. Nothing I told him was a lie. I meant every single word. The fear behind his jade eyes vanished; but there was still hesitation and the awkwardness of the two of us being alone together was weighing in on him. "I appreciate your acceptance. The flowers are for you. I'll leave you be." He said just as he walked passed me and out the door before I could even say anything.

I placed my hand over my waist, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. He wasn't the same Roman I knew. There were so much clutter inside that it prevented him from just living normally. The flowers on the end table caught my attention. There was a small white envelope nestled between two of the lilies.

Picking the item up, I opened it to read it's contents.

Savannah,

There are no words to describe how awful I feel about what happened last night. There are no excuses for the things I've done to you. Just know that I never meant to hurt you and now that I see that you are happy, I've come to realize that I need to let you go.

I will not interfere in your new relationship, nor will I speak negative about it. The only thing I ever wanted for you was your happiness. Good luck in everything you do from here-on-out.

Goodbye

Roman

Holding onto the tiny piece of paper, I trembled with emotion. Now I understood why he was so desperate to keep his distance from me. He was finally letting it all go, so why was I feeling so sad? Maybe it was because this was the ending we should have had in the first place or maybe it was because I was worried about him. I hoped that he'd find peace somewhere down the road; otherwise, I fear that something far worse would happen.