Deliberated for a long time about who they rescued but I think for the sake of the story, I picked the right one. Hopefully you guys think so too :)
Chapter 5
Everything kind of feels like it is in slow motion. Sort of like when I tried to strangle Johanna. I can see everything happening around me but I am strangely disconnected from everything going on around me. Haymitch drags me out of bed and I blindly dress into some clothes in the semi-darkness.
"Katniss?" I look up and Prim is in the doorway, rubbing her eyes. My mother stands behind her, wide awake. I meet her eyes over Prim's head and hope she can read the panic in my eyes. "What's going on?" Prim asks, in a sleepy voice.
Haymitch throws me a look, warning me not to say anything yet before heading out the door. So I force an empty smile onto my face and stumble towards Prim. "Nothing little duck," I say, patting her head. "Go back to sleep. I'll be back soon."
My mother pushes Prim back to bed and follows me to the door. "What is it Katniss?" she asks in a low voice.
"They only saved one of them," I say, my voice breaking. I don't even try to pretend to be strong for her as I have done many for many years. I am over pretending that I don't feel. The arena didn't get me but will I survive this – knowing only one of two people I care most about in the world is safe?
"Who?" she asks.
"I don't even know," I admit. "And I'm not sure if I even want to." I open the door and Haymitch is standing on the other side, his brows furrowed in thought. My mother kisses the top of my head before the door closes on me.
Haymitch and I walk in silence downstairs. He doesn't say anything and I can't bring myself to ask. I have to see it with my own eyes. I keep a hand on his arm the whole time, my nails digging painfully into his skin. If it hurts him, he doesn't say anything. My heart thuds into my ribs. Each heartbeat has a different meaning. Gale. Peeta. Gale. Peeta.
We down to the very bottom level, where I have never been before. Up ahead, I can see Plutarch and Fulvia. "Ah Katniss," Plutarch greets a little uneasily as we reach them. Fulvia looks tense behind him, her lips pursed. "Glad you could make it."
His words infuriate me. Glad? Why on earth would I be glad to meet with any of them when I know they have damned the future of someone so important to me?
Haymitch turns to me, indicating the door. "You ready to go in?"
No. Far from it. But I nod jerkily and we are heading inside. This room is small, humid but it reveals a mirror to a conjoining room. I press my face against the glass, my breath coming rapidly, staring into this room.
There, sitting on a chair, his hair damp with sweat, pressed against his forehead, is Peeta.
I stay like that for a while, my face and hands pressed up against the mirror. Haymitch informs me that it is a two-way mirror and that he cannot see us. He sits so still, unblinking. It takes me a long time to realise he is chained to the chair.
I turn around and find that a few of District 13's doctors, including Dr Aurelius who has been treating me. "Why is he chained to the chair?" I ask. They all stop talking immediately, staring back at me in surprise, as if my presence has been invisible this entire time.
"He tried to stop them from rescuing him," Haymitch supplies.
"Stop them?" Why would Peeta not want to be rescued?
"He attacked us. Broke the arm of one of my squad members," pipes up a man from behind Haymitch and I recognise him as Boggs, one of Coin's trusty officers. I didn't even notice he was here until he spoke up now.
"Is he okay?" I ask, looking back at him. He is just staring off into air, looking blank and thoroughly unresponsive.
"He just seems a little confused," says Haymitch. He turns around and begins to speak with the doctors once more. I have become invisible again, I see.
"Can I have a word Miss Everdeen?" I turn and Boggs is staring expectantly at me. He opens the door and we leave the doctors and Haymitch discussing Peeta to head into the hallway.
I've never spoken to Boggs in my life. I've seen him around – in the dining hall, roaming the halls on guard, in meetings with Coin. He is at least a foot taller than me and built like a freight train and yet his face conveys some softness that his intimidating stature does not. He has blue eyes that are grey around the edges. Though they are nothing like Peeta's, they remind me automatically of him. Like most things do.
Boggs locks his hands behind his back. "I just wanted to apologise."
I wasn't expecting this. "Apologise?"
"I was in charge of the rescue squad. Gale was my responsibility." He clears his throat. "We already had Enobaria, Annie and Johanna. Just as we reached them, we came under heavy fire. Peeta was out of it. We couldn't even get him to come with us." Not hard to believe looking at him now.
Boggs continues. "Gale helped us to convince Peeta to follow us. He was the only one Peeta would listen to. We were trying to get them both out but Gale got hit. Nothing major," he adds when he sees the alarm in my eyes. "But we had to go ahead and leave. I didn't see what happened to him after."
I close my eyes. I can picture the scene in my mind. Even when Gale was supposed to be the victim, he still tried to be the hero, a warrior. Typical. The thought brought a sad smile to my face. "Thank you for telling me that."
He nods, suddenly looking a little uncomfortable at having nothing more to say. Luckily the door opens and Haymitch pokes his head out. "Not interrupting am I?"
"Not at all," Boggs answers. He bows his head to the both of us before taking off down the hallway. I follow Haymitch back inside.
Dr Aurelius stops mid-sentence and tunes his focus onto me. "We have been debating about how to treat Peeta Miss Everdeen."
I don't like the way he says 'treat'. "He's not the enemy," I say firmly.
"We know that," he says quickly, to stop me from jumping to conclusions. "But he just seems a bit disoriented."
"I know him best," I say frantically. "I – I need to see him."
"Katniss –"
"No, you listen to me. I have to see him. I will see him. You can try and stop me. I don't doubt that you can. But I promise you, I will not go down without a fight."
My threat hangs in the air. Haymitch just looks at me with half of a smirk, half a grimace, as though he knows too well my promise to follow through. Just like I did with the scratches on his face back on the ship.
"None of us were planning on stopping you Katniss," Dr Aurelius says. "Right this way."
I follow him out. I am glad I didn't have to resort to anything. I am still pretty ginger and weak these days, despite the fact I've spent most of my time in a hospital lately.
My head seems to only comprehend one thing. I am going to see Peeta. I am going to talk to Peeta. I am going to be able to touch Peeta. He is not dead. He is alive. He is here with me.
Dr Aurelius and I stop outside the door. He tells me to wait and I do, while he goes inside. He is only a minute before he emerges and tells me he has unlocked Peeta's chains.
"We'll be behind that mirror Katniss if you need us. Just be careful, okay?" He disappears and I stare after him in confusion for a moment. Be careful? Be careful of what? Of all the people who could hurt me, Peeta is the least likely.
I release a few breaths through my teeth before I open the door with a forceful hand. Peeta blinks in surprise and a wild smile takes over my face. Whatever has happened to him, he still looks like Peeta. My Peeta.
He stands up slowly and we stare at each other for a long time. Everything I have been dreaming of saying to him since I last saw him swirls around in my head but none of those words seem to want to rise to the surface.
Then Peeta rushes towards me and for a stupid second, I think he is opening his arms up to me. That he is going to hold me and kiss me and tell me that he never stopped loving me. But then his mouth flattens and his eyes go cold, and before I can react, he is pinning me against the wall, an arm across my neck.
"Peeta," I gasp, my air supply becoming dangerously low.
"Shut up slut," he hisses, and his forearm tightens against my neck. My arms are stuck awkwardly between our two bodies. His other hand is pressed against my thigh, fingers close to my hip. He looks down and then back up, his mouth curled into a sadistic grin. He leans in and grazes his teeth down my neck. I shiver, deciding whether or not I like this sensation despite this horrible situation. "You like that, don't you?" he whispers. "Me touching you like this. Did Gale touch you like this too?"
I spit in his face in reply. Peeta lets go of me with a feral snarl and falls back, hissing in anger and swiping at his face. Before his head can rear back up, I lift my knee into his stomach. He groans and doubles over, dropping to his knees. The door opens and Haymitch enters with thirteen's doctors behind him. They go to Peeta while I'm in the corner, struggling to breathe still. No one bothers to see how I am though; because all of a sudden Peeta is the victim and I'm the heartless bitch again.
"Bout freakin' time," I croak, massaging my throat. Haymitch takes me by the arm and leads me out. "What the hell was that?"
Haymitch lets go of me and I struggle to keep my footing, half stumbling into the wall. "He's not….the same Katniss."
"What's wrong with him? Why is he acting like that?"
"They did things to him in the Capitol."
"Things? What –" I'm starting to feel dizzy. Maybe it is Peeta half-strangling me to death or dealing with the fact that everything is horrible wrong.
"Look, let's just give it time. He's been through a lot. It'll take some time to recover." I lean back against the wall and slide to the floor, my breathing coming out unevenly. I stare back at the door, and I can hear Peeta struggling and the scuffle of footsteps and a yelp and a groan. Then it's pretty quiet.
Haymitch says to give it time. But I sit here and I wonder…
How much time?