Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Never have, never will. Similarly, I lay no claim to 'Superman' by Five For Fighting.

The quiet chatter of the guests outside drifted to my ears and I glanced once toward the rows of seats on the lawn. I'd have to take my own seat pretty soon, but I had something to do first. Turning away from the window, I padded down the hallway where we had slept during the time we had spent at the shrine.

I had to admit that Kuwabara had picked an appropriate venue for the wedding. Genkai's shrine was the perfect place for the mixed crowd of guests that had been invited to the wedding. The dozen or so demons that had been invited would have attracted attention had the wedding been held in the city and the use of portals had made transportation easy and inconspicuous. Not to mention, the shrine was beautiful this time of year. The lush, green lawn and the gorgeous, well tended gardens provided an incredible backdrop for the wedding.

The shrine had been divided in half for preparation purposes. The kitchen and Genkai's living quarters provided Yukina and her bridesmaids with an area to get ready and the bedroom hallway was for Kuwabara and his groomsmen, while the living room acted as a neutral zone.

I came to a halt in the doorway of the bathroom and spotted Kuwabara staring at himself in the mirror, his fists braced on the edge of the counter. Leaning against the doorway, I watched him for a second. He was dressed and ready, probably just waiting for the signal to make his way outside.

"Knock, knock."

He glanced away from the mirror and smiled at me. It was a nervous smile, faintly anxious. "Hey, Shy. Shouldn't you be outside?"

I shrugged. "I wanted to see unmarried Kuwabara one last time." I stepped inside the bathroom, stopping beside him. Cocking my head to the side, I studied our reflections in the mirror. "How are you feeling?"

"Restless, tense, like I just got punched in the gut." He paused, his gaze meeting mine in the mirror. "Excited, thrilled, ready to begin the rest of my life with Yukina by my side."

Laughing, I ran my hands down my dress, smoothing out the silky material. "You aren't scared to tie the knot."

"I'm marrying Yukina. What's there to be scared about?" A sudden grin spread across his face. "Yukina and I are perfect for each other."

"It's about time you realized that," I said, rolling my eyes at him.

"Yeah, I guess." He straightened his jacket and took a deep breath. "I'm still nervous about the wedding and all that, but I just keep reminding myself that after the vows comes the reception and then, well, you know."

Frowning, I shook my head. "Actually, no, I don't."

"Come on, Shy. You can't be serious." When he saw that I was, he continued, "She's a demon, Shy. The wedding only takes care of the human part of the deal. You're a smart girl. Fill in the blanks."

My eyes widened and I blushed. "Oh, right." They'd be sleeping together so that Yukina could claim Kuwabara as her mate. "How does that work exactly?" I muttered, barely able to get the question out.

"What do you mean?"

"How does a mating work?"

"Well, um, there's…" he trailed off, too embarrassed to continue.

"Sex. Yeah, okay, no need to get embarrassed."

He shot me a look, but started talking once more. "So you have sex and, um, the demon bites your neck. And that's pretty much it. It would be different if it were two demons mating because they'd both mark one another, but for me and Yukina or you and Hiei only one mark would be given." He raised an eyebrow at me in question. "Hasn't anyone explained it to you?"

"Not really. I mean, Keiko has told me some things in passing, but nothing concrete."

Kuwabara nodded and, with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, asked, "What's got you so interested? Are you and Hiei going to seal the deal soon?"

My breath caught in my throat. Turning away from the mirror, I tried to figure out how to respond. "Um, well, I don't know. I'm not sure I'm ready." Moving to the doorway, I glanced once over my shoulder. "Good luck, Kuwabara. I'll be sitting in the front row."

"Thanks, Shy. Save a dance for me at the reception?"

"Of course."

'Till death do us part.'

I shook my head, banishing the words from my mind and forcing myself to pay attention to the wedding reception. My eyes roaming over the backyard, I attempted to name each of the people I had been introduced to, hoping to distract myself from my troubled thoughts.

I'd finally met Koenma, who I had heard hundreds of stories about from Yusuke. The spirit prince had come in his teenager form and had conducted the ceremony, instructing Yukina and Kuwabara in their vows.

Cursing mentally, I tore my gaze from Koenma and yet again pushed away the words that had been bothering me ever since the ceremony.

My eyes came to rest on a small cluster of demons. They were rather rowdy, arguing and bickering with one another. Yusuke had introduced me to them earlier in the day. We had arrived at the same time, Hiei and I stepping out of our portal just as the demons had emerged from theirs.

The demons hadn't seemed to stop arguing since they'd arrived. Even as I watched, Genkai made her way to them, yelling for Jin to get his damn feet back on the ground and Chu to put down the bottle of champagne. The ice demon Yusuke had called Touya was watching his friends with a faintly amused expression on his face, a glass of champagne in his hand.

It was easy to keep myself distracted, using people watching as a way to control my thoughts. After Kuwabara and Yukina had shared the customary first dance, the area marked out as the dance floor had flooded with people and had been filled ever since. Watching the dancers, I remembered that I'd yet to fulfill my promise to Kuwabara. Dancing with him would be good for me. Maybe he would be able to answer the question that had been bothering me.

I had just spotted him in the crowd and was about to start toward him, when I realized that I shouldn't burden him with my issues. This was his day. The last thing he needed was to hear about my relationship issues.

'Till death do us part.'

I shuddered at the words and scanned the crowd, looking for Hiei. He was at the other edge of the dance floor, locked in conversation with Kurama.

"Shy!" Keiko's voice pulled my attention away from Hiei and I turned toward her, forcing a smile onto my face. Botan and Shizuru were with her, walking at her sides. My smile became genuine at the sight of them. They were dressed identically in their bridesmaids' dresses, but couldn't have appeared more unalike one another if they had tried.

Shizuru looked bored, though she inclined her head to me in greeting. I had met Kuwabara's sister ages ago when I first slept over his house. While I wasn't close to the older woman, I liked her and found her very funny.

Compared to Shizuru, Botan seemed as though she was having the time of her life. The ferry girl's eyes were shining and the smile stretching across her face appeared almost painfully wide.

For her part, Keiko looked mildly annoyed. And, judging by the glare she was giving me, I had a feeling her annoyance was aimed at me.

"What's up?" I asked when they had reached me.

Keiko ignored my question and retaliated with her own. "What's wrong?"

I didn't bother arguing with Keiko, there was no point in lying and saying I was alright. Sighing, I asked, "What gave me away?"

"You haven't danced with anyone, not even Hiei. You're standing over here all alone. Besides, I know you well enough to know when you're upset." Keiko frowned at me. "So, what's wrong?"

I looked away, my gaze returning to Hiei. "I'm not even really sure."

'Till death do us part.'

"Okay, that's a lie." I glanced at Botan and Shizuru, not wanting to tell Keiko the truth in front of them. "You know what, it's not important. Let's go dance," I said, grabbing Keiko's wrist and pulling her toward the dance floor.

I forced myself to focus on my friends, laughing and joking with them while we danced. Yusuke found us at some point, sidling up next to Keiko and wrapping his arms around her. When a slow song started, Shizuru and I excused ourselves from the others and made our way off the dance floor. Botan stayed behind, having found a dance partner.

"I'm going to go find my baby bro," Shizuru informed me, already moving away into the crowd. "You'll be alright alone?"

"Sure," I answered. I watched her retreating back for a second before glancing toward the spot where I had last seen Kurama and Hiei. Raising an eyebrow when I saw that Kurama was alone, I headed for the redhead.

I didn't want to ruin Kuwabara's day and Keiko was with people, but there was nothing preventing me from asking Kurama my question. "Hey," I murmured, coming to a halt at his side. "Where'd Hiei go?"

"I convinced him to dance with Yukina. As a friend only, of course." Kurama's gaze was directed at the dance floor and I followed his line of sight to see Hiei and Yukina dancing.

"I never would have realized they were related if he hadn't told me," I said, buying myself time before I got to my question.

He nodded and took a sip of his glass of champagne. "Did you need something, Shy? You haven't seemed yourself all day."

"You noticed that, too?" Kurama glanced at me, silently asking what I meant. "Keiko asked me what was wrong a few minutes ago and, well, I'm not entirely sure."

"Why don't you tell me what you can? I'll try to help you make sense of whatever's bothering you."

"Yeah, um, I kind of know what the issue is. It's because of the vows." I hesitated, toying with a piece of my hair. "The whole 'till death do us part' thing got me thinking. I know that a mating is permanent, there's no going back, no divorce. That's not what's getting to me."

"Then what is?"

Knowing that my question would seem blunt, I plowed ahead anyway. "When one mate dies, the other one does as well, right?"

Startled, he choked on a sip of champagne. "Excuse me?"

"The possibility of divorce isn't the only difference between a mating and a marriage. It's just that the other difference isn't broadcast." I took the glass of champagne from his hand and downed it in one gulp. "When a husband or wife dies, their partner doesn't. A marriage doesn't seal a person's life span to that of their spouse, but a mating does, right?"

Kurama took his time answering. His gaze had returned to Hiei and Yukina and I had feeling that he was trying to figure out how his answer was going to affect his best friend. Finally, he said, "Yes, Shyle. A demon will not live once their mate has died."

"A demon won't live? Why did you specify it like that?" I wished suddenly that I had another glass of champagne. A buzz might be able to counteract the horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"A mating would not affect you the way it would Hiei. Matings work the way they do due to a demon's energy. Because you do not possess any demon energy, a mating can not bind you in any way."

"Meaning?"

"From what you've been told, you've assumed that humans and demons are affected the same way by a mating, but that is not the case. For instance, while you could never divorce Hiei and would always bear his mark, you would be able to have a relationship with another man. Hiei would not be able to do so. If he were to attempt a relationship, it would put him in physical pain."

My hand clenched around the stem of my champagne glass. Why hadn't anyone told me that before? "You're avoiding the original question," I stated, keeping my tumultuous emotions out of my voice.

"Must I say it?" Kurama asked. When I didn't respond, he sighed. "Shy, we both know what I'm about to say."

"So say it."

"If you died, Hiei would as well. But if Hiei was the one to die, you would not."

I felt as though I'd been sucker punched. The air rushed from my lungs and I had to close my eyes. When I had come to see Kurama, I'd thought that I knew the answer to my question, but I was wrong. I was so freaking wrong.

I muttered an excuse and darted away from Kurama, escaping toward the shrine. I'd gotten my answer and it was exactly what I hadn't wanted to hear. Slipping into the shrine, I bolted for the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me.

I blamed all of my issues on that stupid magazine. If I'd never found it again, I would never have had these doubts. Assuming a position similar to the one I had found Kuwabara in earlier, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. When did everything get so complicated?

I'd never understood Keiko's reasons for saying no to Yusuke or Kuwabara's jitters about the wedding, but now it all made sense.

Keiko was scared Yusuke wouldn't like her once she aged, which I was starting to realize might actually be a valid fear. Yusuke would stay young for years longer than Keiko and he wouldn't begin to age for centuries. Still, Yusuke loved Keiko regardless of her appearance. Keiko's issues with mating Yusuke were skin deep. In time, I was sure that she would see that Yusuke would always love her.

And from what I'd been able to gather about Kuwabara, his nerves about mating Yukina boiled down to the idea that she would get bored of him. He wasn't a demon and to a certain degree could never truly be a part of her world. But he also represented a whole new world that Yukina wanted to experience.

The sudden confusion that I was feeling had nothing to do with what I would look like in twenty years or the idea that Hiei might not always find me interesting. No, it all came back to what I had realized after reading that damn article.

Give, give, give.

It was all Hiei had done since our relationship had started. And now I realized that he had been intending to give his life as well.

Honestly, that was what it was. He was going to cut his life short by centuries just to be with me. I would die in a few decades, a mere blink of an eye in terms of a demon's lifespan, and I'd take Hiei with me.

Staring at myself in the mirror, I couldn't shake one utterly horrifying thought.

If I let Hiei mark me, I would be signing his death sentence. I would be murdering the man I love.

"Congratulations, Kuwabara," I murmured, hugging my friend and squeezing tightly.

Returning the hug, he said, "Thanks, Shy. I'm a married man now. Crazy, huh?"

"That you're the first one of us to get hitched? Yeah, I'd call that crazy," I answered cheekily, grinning at him.

"Goodnight, Shy. Thanks for coming." He released me and stepped back, turning his attention to another departing guest.

"Goodnight," I whispered. I looked around, trying to spot Hiei in the crowd. Koenma was opening portals for departure and the shrine's front yard was a mess of milling people. I finally caught sight of Hiei and headed toward him, hoping that I would do as good a job tricking him as I had everyone else.

After my horrifying realization in the bathroom, I'd gotten control of myself and returned to the reception. As far as I could tell, I had managed to convince my friends that I was enjoying myself. In all actuality, I wanted to curl up into the fetal position and cry. I needed time to think, time to myself so that I could figure out how to deal with this.

I stopped beside Hiei, smiling at him. I'd changed out of my dress and when he noticed that I was carrying it in a bag he took it from me, draping it over his arm. Leaning forward, he kissed me softly.

I hadn't seen much of him all day. We'd danced together a few times, but I'd tried to avoid him as much as possible. I had no idea what to say around him, how to act.

So I'd stayed away from him.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I congratulated Kuwabara and Yukina and I've said goodbye to the others. You?"

"Hn." His hand on my elbow, he guided me toward Koenma, pushing his way through the crowd to the spirit prince.

"Where would you like to go?" Koenma asked, his patience clearly wearing thing.

"My car is at the Yukimura's diner. Could you send us there?" I requested. Sucking hard on his pacifier, Koenma waved his hand and summoned a portal. Thanking him quickly, I stepped through the portal into the diner. Hiei followed me a second later and we headed outside to my car.

Climbing into the car, I allowed myself to get lost in my thoughts once more. The car ride was nearly silent, but I didn't really mind. I parked in front of our apartment building and headed inside, Hiei on my heels.

Slipping into the stairwell, I walked up the stairs slowly, too absorbed by my thoughts to walk any faster.

I'd thought that I wanted what Keiko had. Yusuke would give anything for her. His life, his heart, his happiness. He'd stayed with her even though she wouldn't marry him. I had always viewed his sacrifices like those of a hero.

But I was starting to see that they weren't. The things Yusuke did had nothing to do with him being a hero. He did them because he loved Keiko.

I couldn't expect Hiei to be a hero; I couldn't expect anyone to be a hero. That wasn't how relationships were supposed to work. I needed to give as much as I took.

Or perhaps I just needed to stop taking.

My foot caught on a stair and I tripped, tumbling toward the landing on the third floor, but I never landed. Hiei's hands were on my waist, pulling me to him and to safety, my dress falling forgotten to the floor. Blushing, I murmured a quick thanks.

He didn't respond and before I had fully understood what was happening he was pushing me backwards toward the wall, his lips pressed fiercely to mine. His hands glided up my sides, sliding beneath the material of my shirt and over my stomach. Kissing his way down my jaw, he ran his fingertips along the edge of my bra.

His kisses and hands wiped all thought from my mind and left me gasping and confused. What was going on? He'd never been this intense before.

He pulled away from me slightly, his breath hot against my lips. "We should go inside." Barely able to breathe, I met his gaze and nearly balked at the intensity that I saw there. He couldn't possibly think that today would be the day I became his mate, could he?

But as he turned away from me, picked up my dress, and headed toward our apartment, I couldn't help assuming that that was exactly what he was expecting. I followed him slowly, struggling with what to do. I wasn't ready to be his mate, not considering all of my current doubts. I needed time to think.

I closed the apartment door behind me and trailed after Hiei into the living room. "Look, Hiei, we need to talk."

"We can talk later," he replied, his voice deeper than normal. As he closed the distance between us, I resisted the urge to back away from him. Shaking my head, I tried to tell him that we needed to talk now, but he pressed his lips to mine before I could do so.

He picked me up and walked to the couch. Laying me down, he straddled my waist. His hands slipped beneath my shirt once more, sliding it up. I shifted, trying to push him away. Pressing my hands to his shoulders, I shoved as hard as I could and, though I doubted I'd been strong enough to actually move him, he pulled away.

"Shyle?" Suddenly he didn't seem so sure of himself. The intensity of only a few minutes earlier was fading, being replaced by confusion.

"Hiei, I can't." I hesitated a fraction of a second. It was too late to go back now. I couldn't lie to him and let this continue. "I can't do this."

He rocked back onto his knees, looming over me. "What are you saying?"

How could I explain all of my confusion? How could I tell him what was wrong? I realized with startling clarity that he wouldn't understand. We wouldn't be able to do what Keiko and Yusuke did. They were able to be with one another without a mating or marriage, but Hiei wouldn't be able to make such a concession. Hiei wanted a mate, not a girlfriend, but I couldn't give him that.

Briefly I considered trying to soften the blow somehow, but I knew it was pointless. He would see through any lie I told him. At the same time, there was no reason for me to be hurtful.

"Hiei, I'm sorry. I just can't do this," I repeated, gesturing around to indicate what had been happening. "I can't be your mate."

I'd barely finished speaking before he was moving, standing up and moving away from me. There was a wounded look in his eyes, but it was replaced quickly by a detached blankness. His lips curled into a scowl and he glared at me. "And why is that?"

Pulling my shirt down, I sat up. "I won't kill you, Hiei. I won't let you mate me and cut your life short." Shaking my head, I stood and moved toward him, but he stepped back, keeping the distance between us. "I'm so sorry."

"Keep your apologies," he snarled. Turning swiftly, he strode toward the door without looking back. I watched him go, knowing I had done the right thing.

Still, that didn't stop my tears.

AN: So who was expecting that?

First of all, I just want to say that this chapter has been planned since day one. In fact, everything else has evolved around the last scene of this chapter. And the song 'Superman' by Five For Fighting goes hand in hand with this scene. That song is my inspiration for this story. The idea that no one is a hero is what drives my thought process.

This chapter may feel slightly choppy, but I almost want it that way. I think it helps show Shy's distressed thoughts and her inability to think the way she normally does.

This chapter is the beginning of the end, but no worries. We've got a lot of action to come.

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I'm interested to hear whatever everyone says about this chapter. Love it? Hate it? Hate me? Let me know what you think.

And finally, happy belated birthday to Cibola. I apologize that this didn't come out on your birthday, but it was the most important chapter to date (and I think it's the longest) so I hope you liked it.