Sorry for a late update, my minions. You know how it is; a little bit of writer's block, with a little bit of laziness, and a killer cold. I wish there were more new episodes of the show to watch while I'm sick. Anyway, please review.

When I pictured dating Phineas, I pretty much pictured a perfect fairytale which somehow combined Phineas staying his inventive and curious self, while becoming a romantic slave to my beauty at the same time. Which isn't possible. I know it isn't possible. He's no more devoted or centaur-like than he was before. When I pictured myself dating Phineas, I thought I'd look like a princess all the time. Well, I've been eating my weight in ice cream and other desserts on my couch for days now, in sweats. There's no princess that would wear sweats.

Basically, I'm in a break-up mode. Stupid Ferb. It kind of sucks. And the worst thing is, everything has become awkward again. When I decided I was going to fuck Ferb Fletcher, I knew it would lead to awkwardness. Just think about that sentence again and you'll notice how awkward it is. But now it's worse, if that's possible.

I can't avoid Ferb. It's unachievable. I've tried to avoid and ignore Ferb for years while vying for Phineas, and I've realized, the boy isn't going anywhere. So now every time I see him, it's absolutely sickening. I feel like crying, I feel like kicking the jerk, I just wanna jump on him and kiss him, but most of all, I just want to be with him, just us alone together, the way we were before. It's been screwed up. But what's the most horrific thing about all of this? I don't think it's just me. After what he said, I can't help thinking… it's mutual. Ferb and I are dancing around the idea that we could quite possibly be madly in love with each other.

Whoa! Let's slow everything down for a second. I adjusted my hideous sweatshirt, put down my ice cream, and sat up. I need a distraction. Something, anything, to make me get out of my own head. I grabbed my laptop. Isn't social media a proven distraction? I scrolled around. Nothing new in the world of Isabella's friends, it seems. I saw a stupid picture of Buford trying to stand on his head and absent-mindedly "liked" it.

I suddenly stopped when I noticed something. Vanessa Doofenshmirtz had gone from "Engaged" to "In a relationship". Oh, well… good for her. I guess. I wondered if I should comment on it. No, that's weird. It's like an ex commenting on a guy's new girlfriend.

But, what the heck did that status even mean? She seriously got over her supposed love after one moment with Ferb? Wait… was that what happened with me too? I bit my tongue. It wasn't one moment, really. And, whoa, this thing sort of happened with Adyson too! As soon as she broke up with Toby, she started crushing on Ferb.

God, Ferb had this effect on all girls. But I could see the problem here. Ferb was a crutch, a rebound guy. He was so quiet and serious that he went unnoticed, but so sweet and faithful that everyone suddenly wanted him when their dream guy pulled the rug out from under her feet. That almost broke my heart. He was so much more than a shoulder to cry on. I really want to say that I broke the mold and fell for him for real, but… I needed a shoulder, that night when Minka came to the apartment. And that's when this whole mess started.

Holy cow, and then I dropped him as soon as Phineas came around again. What if I don't really love Ferb? And I don't really love Phineas? Is my whole life centered on having a crush? No! I boldly "liked" Vanessa's status.

Then, about a millisecond later, I started freaking out. There is no way to retract this! It's just floating around in cyber space, and everyone's going to go online and realize that I liked it, and think I'm happy that Vanessa is dating Ferb. I don't have a long list of people I hate, but I feel like Vanessa is going to end up on that list through no fault of her own.

"Ding-dong, Isabella!" I heard from outside my door. I slammed my laptop shut and went to open it.

"You look like crap." Adyson said, before she even stepped in. I wanted to tell her off, but it was probably true. I'm pretty sure I had an ice cream spoon lodged somewhere in my hair.

"Hey, Iz." I noticed the whole flock of Fireside girls enter my house.

"Crap." I muttered under my breath. Was I supposed to have them over today? Why? I wasn't even close to my beautiful, perky, normal self. Anyway, they managed to find seats and make themselves comfortable.

"So, what's the subject today?" I asked. "Please tell me it isn't guys again."

"Now that you mention it…" Adyson began. I groaned. "I love being single again." She finished.

"Okay, so I went on that date Friday night, right? The guy said he was a vegetarian, so I went through the effort of picking a vegetarian restaurant and I even ordered a vegetarian meal! And you know what he orders? Shrimp fettuccini! And then he says, 'shrimp doesn't count as a meat,' like I'm the idiot." Holly huffed.

"Wow." I said simply.

"Well, how's it going with Phineas?" She asked.

"He's taking you on a date tomorrow." Ginger said.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"He told Baljeet, who told me." She said.

"Jeez, you guys have been dating for two milliseconds, do you have to tell each other everything?" I said crankily.

"He's bringing Ferb and his girl." She said flatly, while staring at me. "It's a double date."

AARGH! As if anything could possibly be more awkward or disgusting or worse at this particular moment in time. The last people I wanted to see me right now were Ferb and Vanessa.

"Oh, Isabella! Guess what? Guess what guess what guess what?" Milly said, hopping around excitedly.

"You have to pee?" I answered.

"No! I won!" She said chirpily.

I arched an eyebrow. "Won what?"

"The Phinabella pool!" She squealed. My eyes opened wide. "And it's like a ridiculously high amount."

"I still say she cheated." Katie said.

"Yeah. I bet she tipped Phineas off or something." Adyson said.

"You guys set up a pool for when Phineas and I would get together?" I said.

Adyson stretched out her feet. "Yeah. We do it for everybody we think is going to become an item. And you and Phineas were sooo obviously going to end up together…"

"How?" I cried. "How do you know that for sure?"

The girls all stared at me. "You're sort of dating him, chief." Gretchen said.

"I know, but, what if it's not meant to be, or something's off…" I put one hand over my eyes.

"What are you saying?" The girls asked.

"I don't know! I just need a break from guys right now!" I cried. Not so long ago, I was getting cornered for never being with a boyfriend, and now I couldn't stand the idea of having one.

"What about Phineas?" Ginger asked super softly.

"I don't know." I said. "I think I have to break up with him. I can't spend my whole life stuck in a crush."

"Or maybe, you'd rather be stuck in ANOTHER crush." Ginger said.

"Ginger, shut up." I said under my breath.

"Oh yeah, your mystery guy!" Holly squealed.

"Yeah, what happened to him? Is he fucking other girls now?" Adyson said wickedly.

Oh god, I didn't want to think about it, and now she had put it in my brain. No images of Ferb and Vanessa, please!

"I don't know." I cried. Where's my ice cream?

"Isabella, go on this date. Maybe it will help you get your mind off of this." Gretchen said sweetly.

"No way. I'm swearing off guys." I said grumpily.

"When you have a boyfriend?" Katie said incredulously.

"Iz, there has to be someone who can convince you to go." Gretchen said.

"Ha. Maybe Ferb." I said, more to myself.

"Ferb can convince anybody to do anything." Milly said.

I was even crankier than I had already been. "Why do you guys praise him, but never to his face?" I asked. "I'm sure he'd like to hear it."

"Actually, Isabella, we barely know the guy." Katie said.

"Isabella, besides Phineas, there's only one person who knows Ferb Fletcher inside and out." Ginger said. "And that's you."

Because I'm in love with him.