Buried Feelings

When Emily opens her door to find a past figure standing there, she doesn't know what to think. However, when said person is in need of some help, will she comply? Rated T for language, and content.

EMILY'S POV:

I sighed, as I watched the rain glide gently down the window panes. The sky was dark and mottled with grey clouds. The trees shook in the wind, leaves strewn across the roads. Despite the bad weather, the day was peaceful. My mom was out working at the police station again, so I had the house to myself. I had contemplated calling my friend Hanna to come over, but I decided I enjoyed spending some alone time better.

However, my alone time was not to last, for the doorbell rang. I groaned, and got to my feet from where I was sitting at my window.

"I'm coming!" I yelled to whomever was at the door. I wasn't expecting anyone, so it was slightly strange. Maybe Hanna decided to come by without telling me first.

I was wearing an old t-shirt, three sizes too big. However, I made sure to pull on some shorts before walking to greet the stranger at the door.

By the time I made it downstairs, a few minutes had passed. I felt slightly bad for leaving that person out in the weather for so long, but I simply couldn't show up at the door without pants on.

I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door, expecting to see Hanna smiling back at me. However, I was not mentally prepared for the person standing in the door frame.

"Spencer?" I asked, hesitantly. The girl nodded slowly, looking at the ground. Her hair was soaking wet, as well as her clothes. The makeup she had on was running down her face, along with blood from a cut across her cheek. She was a mess.

"Here, come inside." I offered, and held the door open as she stepped inside. She took off her shoes slowly, and stood, waiting for me to say something.

"Here, I have some clothes you can wear. I'll be right back okay?" I managed. Spencer nodded, and remained where she was as I walked upstairs to find something for her.

When I got to my room, I shut the door and took a deep breath. Of all the people I thought would be at my door, she was not one of them. Our relationship was still somewhat strained.

About six months ago, we were dating, and happy. However, she was still confused about her feelings. When a guy named Toby Cavanaugh moved in down the street from Spencer, things got rough. Still confused, Spencer and I broke up when she started falling for Toby.

We haven't talked since the day we ended our relationship. I was heartbroken for a long time, and had just recently managed to say her name without bursting into tears. What are the chances that she shows up at my house?

I groaned, and grabbed an extra t-shirt, and pair of shorts from my pajama drawer. Mentally preparing myself to see her once again, I walked back downstairs. Spencer was still standing up, but I could tell it was laboured. She was clearly not feeling herself.

"Here you go. You know where the bathroom is if you want to change. Don't worry about the water, I'll clean it later." I muttered, and watched as she walked towards the room slowly. She didn't say a word, and closed the door behind her.

I walked into the kitchen and started up the coffee machine. I knew Spencer well, and she could certainly use a cup of coffee now. About five minutes after I started, Spencer walked out of the bathroom. Her wet clothes were neatly folded in her arms, and she set them on the entry rug gently. The shirt fell to her knees, but I knew she was wearing the shorts anyways. Her hair was still wet, and she didn't seem to have bothered to fix her makeup, or cut.

"Here you go." I smiled politely, as I handed her the cup of coffee. She nodded appreciatively, but set it down. A flag went up in my head. Spencer never turned down coffee, something was off.

I led her to the living room, and had her sit on the couch. She obliged, even though she was hesitant at first. I walked over to the kitchen, and grabbed the first aid kit once she had sat down.

"Let me take a look at that." I muttered, as I gently placed a hand under her chin. With my other hand, I brushed away the strands of hair that were concealing her face from me. The cut revealed itself once the hair was removed, and I winced. It wasn't deep, but had bled a lot.

I grabbed a cloth with disinfectant on it, and brought it up to the cut. When I pressed gently, she winced.

"Sorry, this can sting a little." I explained. I cleaned as much of the blood off as I could, before placing a bandage over the wound. During the entire process, she never made eye contact with me, and instead kept her eyes down. After the wound was bandaged, I used an extra towel to wipe off the makeup that had ran down her face.

When all was done, I put the kit aside and sat next to her on the couch. I sat next to her, and we remained in silence for the longest time.

"I'm sorry." She muttered at last.

"Sorry for what?" I tried my best to hide the anger in my voice, but when she shifted back away from me, I knew I had failed.

"I…I was wrong." She rasped. Her voice was unsteady, and her eyes were dark.

"It's okay. I understand." I smiled sadly. "What happened?" I dared to ask.

I started to regret my decision when Spencer opened her mouth, but didn't say anything. Tears formed in her eyes, but she bit her lip to keep from crying. It was painful to watch her try and keep herself together in front of me, however I dared not mention it.

"He…it just wasn't the same." Spencer started. "I felt like…I loved him at first, but the feeling just wasn't the same."

I nodded, to show her I was listening.

"He was so sweet most of the time, but after a while I started to think of him more as a friend. He got angry, but was kind of understanding." She explained. "I guess….I just made a mistake when I…left…"

I sighed.

"Spencer, I won't lie to you. When we separated, I was heartbroken. But I understand what you were going through. It's hard to make sense of what you feel, and you wanted to test it out to be safe. That's understandable." I responded sympathetically.

"I should have never left you." Spencer stated solemnly.

I didn't know how to respond, and decided to ask a different question.

"What happened to your face?" I asked.

Spencer bit her lip.

"It was nothing. I just fell, that's all." She muttered.

I tensed up. She was lying.

"That's not true and you know it." I called her out. "That cut was too clean to be from a fall."

Spencer hung her head, and didn't say anything.

"Wait….he didn't do that to you did he?" I felt my heart slow. Was that why she left him, and ran out in the rain?

Spencer didn't reply, and remained silent.

"Spencer…" I gently placed my hand over hers supportively, ignoring the feelings it gave me.

"It was an accident…" She sniffed.

"Oh honey, what happened?" I squeezed her hand softly.

"I told him…that I didn't think we'd work out. He….got mad. He knew I was going to g-go back to you." Spencer stuttered. "He hit me, but his nail…got me. It was an accident he didn't mean it."

I sighed. "Has it happened before?" I was uncertain.

She shook her head, and I felt relieved. At least it wasn't a recurring incident, although that didn't make it okay.

"I ran out. I thought…you were…the only person I could think of." Spencer muttered. Her voice was cracking, and I knew she was trying so hard to stay collected in front of me.

"Spencer, it's okay. I forgave you a long time ago. I understand. I'm just glad you left, it clearly wasn't the right situation." I soothed.

She remained silent, and I decided to help comfort her. I placed my arms around her, and pulled her into a hug. She curled into me, and her composure collapsed. Tears flowed down her face freely, and she gasped for breath as she sobbed into my shoulder.

I rubbed her back soothingly as she cried. I felt awful. As upset at her I was for choosing him over me, I realized then just how much I still loved her. Here she was, crying into me, and all I could feel was rage towards Toby for what he had done to hurt her.

When she finally stopped crying, our hug separated.

"I'm sorry…" She mumbled.

"Spencer, don't be sorry. Everyone cries." I stated.

"I know, but I feel bad. I don't mean to impose on you, I know you still are probably mad at me and-"

"Spencer stop. It's okay. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at Toby for hurting you. Okay? I could never be mad at you." I explained. She relaxed a little.

We sat in silence for a while, before she spoke up once more.

"I never stopped loving you." She muttered.

I was surprised. I hadn't expected that kind of remark from her.

"I thought I loved him when I was dating him, but during the entire relationship, all I could think about was how much I'd rather be hugging you, kissing you." She rambled. "I'm sorry for ever leaving you."

Spencer turned and looked me in the eyes.

"I know you probably don't want me back, but if we could be just friends again, I'd really like that." She looked at the ground, obviously ashamed at her past relations with Toby.

I laughed, feeling confident. I was so overjoyed to hear her confession to me, I knew that things were going to be good again.

"Spencer I can't do that." I replied, after I stopped laughing.

"Oh. I understand." She muttered solemnly. I scooted closer to her, and gently cupped her cheeks.

"I don't think I can do just friends." I smiled, as I pecked her on the lips softly. However, before I could pull away, she deepened the kiss. I felt my heart flutter, and I smiled.

When we pulled apart, the light was back in her eyes. She smiled at me.

"I think I'm okay with that." She grinned.