Do I owe you an apology? NO. But I totally owe you updates. Sorry, just major writer's block and nothing more this time dudes. Oh, and check for typos.

I was never really the type of boy who was afraid of girls. I've seen that kind of guy. They come in various forms. There's the Buford type of guy, who tries to make girls look diminutive and weak so as to convince himself that girls aren't really a threat. There are the Lawrence Fletchers, who are too scared to even hold hands, because changing a friendship into a relationship is very daunting. Then, there are guys like Phineas, who seem to have deluded themselves into thinking that girls don't exist, and therefore, are not obstacles. And, there will always be a couple outright crazies, whose fear of girls haunts them until middle age.

I would assure you that this has never been a problem, and never will be. But I can't. Because Isabella Garcia-Shapiro is quite overwhelming. I have to face the facts: I think I might have fallen in love with a psychopath. She calls them "plans"; I'm pretty sure they are plots. I don't want to cheat on Vanessa. And I definitely don't want Isabella to continue throwing herself at me, or to keep wearing skimpy outfits. Especially around the other guys. They definitely ogle her and it makes me want to punch them out. I wonder if I would have felt this way before I did anything with Isabella. I can't expect our so-called "casual" arrangement to mean she's my girl… even if Phineas broke up with her and Baljeet and Buford know my secret.

So… I was hiding from her. I would avoid most group activities. I would watch the door and elevator to ensure that we didn't run into each other. I just knew that I was not even remotely over Isabella, and I would do something stupid. The sad truth was that I was probably at that point where I needed a panic box. I couldn't be that close to outright crazy… right?

The phone started obnoxiously ringing and I got up from lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling. Don't judge me. The day had only just begun.

"Hey, Ferb, what's up?" It was Buford. Great. "So, how about you and I go out tonight?" I was silent. He sighed. "Dude, I just need you to be my wingman, you know? Dinner Bell is awful at it, and Shrimpy is too uptight. With all of you pairing up, it's getting super awkward for me. Been a little while since I've… had any action. Not like you."

I could practically hear the winking at that point. I didn't want to go, but at the same time, Buford was being completely honest, without his typical bravado, and asking a favor. "Fine." I hissed into the phone.

So I got dressed that night; black dress shirt and jeans. No reason to dress up. I think we were going to a nightclub? Danville is a pretty, sweet city; not so big on the nightclubs. There was only one that we ever went to. I rounded the corner and almost hit Phineas.

"Hey." He said. "What are you…"

"Nightclub. Buford. Wingman." I said quickly.

"Oh. Okay." He said. Great. I just wanted to get out of here. He stopped me. "Why do I still feel like I'm out of the loop, Ferb?" I shrugged. I can't tell him. I just can't. He stared at me suspiciously. "Ok, well, go on."

I rushed out as fast as I could. I looked awfully suspicious, hiding inside all day, and then sneaking off at night. And the thing was, I wasn't doing anything wrong this time. That reminded me… I made sure to look out for Isabella. I stared at her door again, but only for a few minutes. I need to stop.

I finally made it to the nightclub and met Buford. I waved halfheartedly at him.

"Okay," He guided me through the people, and plopped me onto a stool. The place was definitely bright enough to see, but there was still a mysterious, dark air to it, like there was a nice surprise hidden on the dance floor. "So the plan is, you're my mute friend, and I saved you from a huge wild animal attack, but you lost your voice…"

"Whatever happened to being yourself?" I asked.

"Meh." He shooed me off. "Hmm, what about her? She's pretty hot."

I glanced towards the girl he was pointing at. A brunette, with pretty big breasts, wearing a bright mango colored dress. Then, I looked again, and got a better view.

"Buford…" I said.

"What?" He asked in an irritated voice, as he ran a hand through his hair. "I want to talk to the babe."

I winced. "Yeah… that's Adyson."

Buford looked like he was going to puke. "I was going to hit on ADYSON? Like the same Adyson who constantly gets dumped by dudes and attacked by inanimate objects?"

I nodded. Meanwhile, I was trying to turn away too. I didn't want to be around Adyson. The girl wouldn't stop flirting with me. I have a Vanessa, and more importantly, I have an Isabella. I didn't need an Adyson. Unfortunately…

"HI GUYS!" She waved and rushed towards us.

Buford looked super embarrassed. I don't care what he says, he probably likes Adyson. And maybe when she gets over her "Toby" phase, she'll like him too. But as of right now, I was through matchmaking. Wynne and Kyle were fine, but I was quite cautious of relationships within our little friendship group. Sure, Baljeet and Ginger were working out, but it could always enter rough waters later on. And "Phinabella" had me walking on glass for most of my life. One bad relationship could totally ruin all our friendships.

Adyson bopped her head around. "What's goin' on?"

"Not much, Sweetwater." Buford said, trying to keep it cool.

"What are you guys doing?" She asked.

"Cruisin', looking for babes." Buford said, in a horrible surfer voice.

"And Baljeet?"

"Has a girlfriend and is a wet rag." Buford said.

"Well, Phineas?"

"Is a suckish wingman. Who just broke up with his girlfriend."

She smiled. "Riiiiigght." She turned to me. "So, Ferb, why are you here? Don't you have a girlfriend, Mister? Shouldn't you be rocking her world right now?"

Buford started laughing. I felt like I was choking on my own saliva. "Um…"

Her eyes narrowed, and she smiled, giving off a Cheshire cat appearance. "Or… maybe you were too busy rocking… Isabella's!"

I died. That's the end of the story. I died there in that club.

"YES! You know too!" Buford exclaimed. "Isn't it like the weirdest thing to happen in reality?"

"Totally!"

"Wait," Buford paused. "So, we know, Baljeet knows, and the girls?"

"Yup." Adyson said.

"All of them?"

"Yup."

"So the only person who doesn't know about Ferb and Isabella hooking up is…" They both turned to look at me. "Phineas."

My eyes grew wide. "Don't tell him. Please. It's all behind us anyway. I have Vanessa."

"Oh, and she doesn't know either." Buford said. He smiled sinisterly.

"You two are evil!" I exclaimed. "Forget about a wingman. I'm leaving." I turned angrily to go and bumped into… Isabella.

"You didn't think I would come out to the club alone, right?" Adyson said.

Oh, Isabella. She was wearing bubbly pink dress that besides being a little too short, wasn't too far off from her normal clothes. She looked lovely… and somewhat cross.

"Buford, let's go somewhere else." Adyson said.

"Huh?" And he was being dragged off.

I sighed. "Do you want to go outside? It would be quiet there." She nodded curtly and followed me.

As soon as we got out, she turned on me. "You've been avoiding me, Ferb." I didn't answer to avoid lying. "Like, physically hiding from me!"

"Can you blame me?"

"Yes!" She said angrily.

"I SAID, can you blame me? You're pushing yourself on me, and I can't deal with that, Isabella. I have a girlfriend."

"Okay, so maybe I took the outfits and stuff too far, but as far as pushing myself on you? It takes two, Ferb." Isabella said crankily. "You wanted things to go back to normal! Well, normal is when you're by my side, not avoiding me!"

"Well, maybe things can't go back to normal." I said quietly. And then the worst thing possible happened. She started crying. I was making the love of my life cry… again.

"What do you want from me, Ferb? I don't deserve to be cut out of your life because you can't deal with it! Rule 4: You promised we'd stay friends. Well, you failed. You don't have to avoid me anymore. I'm done."

And she started walking away. So many words came to my mind. Don't go. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you. I love you more than anything. But I said nothing. Cowardice, Ferb. And downright stupidity. She was gone. I felt like going back into hiding. But, I absolutely had to say something important to one girl before the coward crawled back into his cave.