The Show Must Go On (The Summer Hiatus)
The universe was conspiring against her. She knew it. Things had been going so well too. The show as doing fantastic. None of the stars had become divas yet, everyone was getting along. Things were slowly but surely happening between Garrus and herself. Life had been good 3 months ago.
Then everything went sideways. Well not everything. In fact almost nothing did. The only real big changes were really minor relationship issues. If one considers the government taking away one's sort of, but not really, but so totally was, boyfriend on a clandestine mission minor. And if one considers one's sister coming out of the closet minor. And if you were somehow caught up in a weird love triangle related to said closet coming out of thing. Things were complicated.
There wasn't much Tali could do. The season was coming to a close and Jane wanted out. She had every right to do so even if Tali thought she was doing for the wrong reasons. Solana wasn't happy with her to say the least. Liara had made a scene so big her parents couldn't tamp down the gossip magazines.
Still, they did it. They shot a trailer for the next season in which they killed off lieutenant commander Jane Shepard. After that Liara wanted off the show as well. It started off a chain reaction really. Save for Joker and Chakwas, damn near everyone of the major faces quit. The Normandy crew had been disbanded.
It wasn't ideal but the bright side of things was that Tali could take what she had learned over the last year and apply it to the new season. Yes that was cold of her but she was running a business. And it helped her distance herself from the sense of hurt she felt when everyone quit. Ugh, they'd have to have auditions again.
Still things looked up. The multi species cast thing had worked out beautifully. Tali was thinking of expanding out to include more species this time. So she sent out feelers to work over the summer break to see just what people might be okay with.
That, though was all in the future. Right now she wanted nothing more than to beat a certain turian senseless.
A month. He'd been back on the Citadel a month and hadn't told her. And Solana had known! Now Tali was just as mad at her sister as Solana was at her for killing Jane's character off. To be fair, he'd spent that month in a rehab facility for combat stim detox.
The only reason she even knew about it was because of Leto the younger as he was called. Garrus' son. He'd shown up at the residence one day saying he had a week off while his ship was getting some repairs done. And the boy had declared he was just in time for his old man to get out of rehab.
Tali snorted. The boy. That boy was a year older than she was. If she had met him under different circumstances she might have just thought of him as a guy. A cute guy, but a guy none the less. Instead he was a physical manifestation of all her doubts that just screamed at her that she knew so little about Garrus' life before C-Sec. She didn't hold it against Leto. Not really. Or at least she tried not to. It was just hard though given what he presented. So she settled for being neutral towards him. That was the best she could manage at the time.
-0-0-0-0-0-
Garrus couldn't help be grimace a little when he saw that Natalia had come to see him get out of rehab. She looked pissed. His family came forward to greet him with hugs and head bumps and she just stood there glaring at him, arms crossed and foot a tapping. Spirits she looked beautiful in her black flats, blue jeans and plain red shirt. Even with her face obscured behind her veil and her features twisted into a scowl at him Garrus still thought she looked lovely. Once everyone had greeted him she finally moved up to him and threw a hard right hook into his left arm.
"Ow. What was that for?" Garrus said rubbing the spot she had punched. It was definitely going to brush.
"That is for making me worry." Tali growled. She threw her arms around his neck and hauled him down into a kiss. "That is for coming back to me." Tali didn't make the kiss a long one. Her veil was in the way as always, and she was a bit self conscious of the fact Garrus' entire family were only a few feet away. But that didn't stop her from trying to channel every emotion she'd felt towards him in the last 3 months. There was a bit of anger, understanding, longing, frustration, lust, worry, fear and absolute terror. By the end of the short kiss Tali's breathing was ragged and she was trying very hard not to cry. She didn't resist when Garrus tucked her head onto his shoulder, and she buried her face into his neck.
Garrus made what he hoped were comforting but quiet sounds. Having Tali fall apart on him was very unnerving. She was usually so strong. They'd have to talk about that. They had a lot to talk about really if he was honest with himself. But that would have to wait for just a little while. Garrus chatted with his family while they all pretended Tali wasn't collecting herself in his arms.
Once Tali got herself together they went out to lunch and Garrus got caught up with all that he had missed out on. Or at least most of it. Given vague language of some stories and the looks between Tali and Solana he wasn't getting the full details. And Tali was proving to be a major distraction with the way she was always touching him. Nothing overly sensual but she seemed to have a hand or foot touching some part of him throughout the entire meal.
There were two big stories to tell. Season One of Mass Effect had ended with a bang and a promise of more to come. Garrus' character had been sidelined and sort of dropped due to him not being there. Garrus was a little sad that his character had gone out that way. A bang like Kaiden's character would have been much cooler. Seriously, it's hard to top going out in a mushroom cloud. But once Tali told him why Kaiden got axed, it made sense. She was sending a message to her actors that messing around too much would get you fired in such a way it was impossible to bring the character back. Though when Garrus heard about practically everyone leaving at the end of the season, he thought maybe Tali had gone a bit too far.
Jane leaving the show apparently was the catalyst for the chain reaction of walk outs. Tali said that Jane wanted out so they had shot the trailer for next season in which they did kill off her character. Spaced while rescuing Joker from the burning wreck of the Normandy. Garrus couldn't wait to see that. Judging from Solana's sharp look at Tali, there was a bit more to it though.
The other big story was Solana. When Garrus' little sister told him she had come out of the closest all he did was calmly congratulate her, which seemed to upset her.
"Why is no one surprised? Or angry or some other emotion other than calm?!"
Garrus leveled a flat look at his sister. "You know dad as a detective before right? And I'm a detective. You aren't exactly subtle about bringing your dates home either sis."
What did surprise Garrus, though, was who Solana's girlfriend was.
"Liara. As in from the show Liara?"
Garrus was greeted with a chorus of laughs and a promise from his sister to formally introduce them. The rest of the meal was spent talking to Leto the younger and trying to see what he would like to do. This was his first real visit to the Citadel so the family took some time to talk about various places to visit. Garrus noticed that Tali didn't contribute much to that conversation. Instead she spent most of the rest of the meal just tracing lazy patterns on his arm.
After lunch the family migrated back to the residence where everyone split off to do various activities. And as if through magic Garrus and Tali were suddenly left alone. He wordlessly guided her towards his room so that they could talk in private. He opened the door and motioned for her to enter the room before him. However the state of his room stopped him mid wave. There were a pair of opened suitcases against the back wall. A few extra pillows that did not match is bedspread were on his bed. And from what he could see of the closet, several rather feminine outfits were hanging there.
Tali entered the room, grabbing his arm and dragging him into it. She relinquished his arm only to take hold of his hand in both of hers.
"I sort of moved in after you... Afterwards. Helped me cope." Tali didn't look up to meet his questioning gaze. Instead she busied herself by playing with his hand. She wanted to talk to him. They had so much to talk about and discuss but now that the moment had arrived Tali found she'd rather be doing anything else. She also needed to gather up her things and leave. It was his place after all. She really should have packed up days ago so he'd have his room back when he got home. She probably had crossed some sort of line when she had moved in as a coping mechanism.
His sudden departure had rattled her far more than Tali would like to admit to herself. So while he was gone she didn't. Instead she boxed up that feeling and shoved to the farthest corners of her mind and happily trudged through work and all of its drama. And she'd been fine until the second date night since he left. Somehow she wound up at his place, probably driven there by habit, and had collapsed into his bed. It was the first time she had gotten a halfway decent night sleep in a week. It wasn't perfect. She still woke up feeling panicked but she'd quickly package up those feelings and banish them with the rest. It wasn't healthy but denial was the only way she had to cope with what she was feeling so she kept doing it. Slowly she found herself spending more and more nights in his bed and she gradually moved in. It made her commute to work shorter and most morning she shared it with Liara. And now she had to leave it.
"I'll pack up so I'm out of your hair." Tali said in a quiet sad voice.
Garrus blinked. He'd been letting Tali hold his hand as he looked around at his room. Once inside he could see she really had moved in. When Tali dropped his hand and made to move away from him, Garrus stepped forward and swept Tali up in tight embrace.
"Later. What did you mean by 'helped you cope'?"
Tali tucked herself into her spot, placing her head in the crook of his neck.
"I found I slept better if I..." Tali paused for a moment. She wasn't going to admit that the smell of him on his pillow that she'd desperately hug at night helped trick her brain into letting get some sleep. "...was around your stuff." Tali managed to choke out her sentence.
Garrus leaned back a little to glance down at Tali who swiftly ducked her face into his shoulder. That still didn't stop him from seeing the beginning of tears sparkle in her eyes and it certainly didn't hide the fact that her breathing had picked up again.
"Natalia."
Tali had nearly broken the first time she was in his arms earlier in the day. She'd patched up the dam and kept it together for the 2 hours of family time. But now that dam had been crested. Those emotions she'd kept boxed up came rushing to the front of her mind now that the ordeal was over.
"YOU BOSH'TET!" Somehow Tali managed to get the words out around her sobbing while she pounded her fist into his chest. "I was so worried. I was terrified you might not come back. Do you have any idea what's it like? To know someone you love is out there doing something outrageously dangerous and you can't do a damned thing about it?"
After that Tali just sobbed and Garrus quietly took the hits though they became weaker and weaker until they finally stopped all together as Tali used all her energy to bawl on his shoulder. He gently guided them to the bed and helped her over the lip and only let go of her to get in and situate himself. She was back crying on his shoulder not a moment later.
Somewhere between the beating and sobbing and yelling Garrus' mind picked up on the fact that his Natalia had said that she loved him, if in a roundabout way. He filed that away for later. Right now he was too busy trying to soothe her and feeling immensely guilty. Either Jane and Liara hadn't lied to her like he asked or Natalia hadn't bought the lie. Granted it wasn't the universes best or more convincing lie but he had been a bit rattled by the sudden call from the Office. Still, his absence had eaten at Natalia these past 3 months. And he was ashamed that he had caused that pain. And she was crying because of him. Again. That wasn't a good thing.
Eventually Tali's breathing evened out and Garrus felt her head tilt downwards a little so she could speak a bit easier.
"Sorry. I know I didn't handle that like a good turian woman would have. But I haven't been told all my life that you might wander off and get killed and that's perfectly normal and acceptable. And it's not you know." Tali's voice was hoarse from crying but it was much more steady now.
Garrus snorted. "I don't ever compare you to turian women. You are you and that's all I ever want you to be. As for how you handled it. Well, I've never had someone to come home to so I can't compare it to anything."
In the past had thought he had had home comings with Ceto. But looking back those were not home comings. A forced romp in the hay is hardly something to cherish and certainly something he always tried to distance himself from emotionally. His early attempted refusals had left him with more than a few scars on his body that weren't earned out in the field.
"But you have a son."
"Doesn't mean his mother and I were a happy couple. Or even a couple." Garrus frowned even though Tali couldn't see his facial expression. "How to explain. My work"
"Garrus?"
"Yeah."
"Solana told me what you are. That you are Thanked. And from what Jane and Liara overheard I think I have a good idea of what it is you do."
Garrus let out a sigh. In some ways he felt better. Like a great weight was off his shoulders that she knew. At the same time he was anxious. Confessing that you are a master assassin isn't something one does trivially.
"How, how much do you want to know?" Garrus asked. He felt Tali shift a bit as she settled a little more comfortably into his side before he heard and felt her sigh.
"If we're going to be truthful, I'm not sure. I'm afraid of what you'll tell me even though I'm also curious. You're 20 years older than I am Garrus." Tali said earning a snort in response. "That means you've had 20 years worth of living that I just don't know about. Well if you want to get technical it's closer to 34 years. When I was younger I didn't believe you existed. I thought Solana had made you up because she was jealous that I had a brother and she didn't."
Garrus couldn't help but laugh at that.
"Then you came bursting into my life and I've always thought of you as a protector. And not just because of the bombing. You work in C-Sec putting bad people in prison. I'm proud of what you do. Thinking of you as anything else is a little daunting. But at the same time I want to know. It's a part of who you are. A kind hearted, hard working turian, with a son older then I am, who can lie."
Tali finished her speech and Garrus mulled over her words, letting the silence blanket over them for a few moments.
"You have no proof that I can lie."
Not expecting Garrus to take the conversation in that direction Tali actually propped herself up on her arm to give him an incredulous look. "Jane told me that you told her a very blatant lie to tell to me."
"For all you know I really could have gone noodling."
"Except we both know you didn't. Noodling doesn't involve a month long detox program for stim addiction."
"Could have been an extreme form of noodling." Garrus jested only to see Tali's face transform into a hard glare. "Fine. However, asking a friend to lie for you is not the same as lying yourself."
"One of the shiny doodads on my military dress uniform is a marksmanship medal. I'm a decent shot with a long rifle and that got me noticed by certain people. So I spent my military career putting that skill to use. Of course I was trained in other things as well."
"Like lying." Tali added as she settled her head done onto his chest.
"Like lying. My work was to make problem makers disappear. And I was called back up because there was a very big problem that needed to disappear. It's a little like the exact opposite of my C-Sec job. Getting the mass murders before they murder anyone else."
"Proactive protecting, in a way."
"If you want to look at it like that. My call sign is Archangel."
This time it was Tali's turn to give a snort of laughter.
"I met Leto's mother when I was just starting out. She helped train me and guided my ascension up the ranks."
"And into her bed I'm assuming." Tali added wryly.
"Yes. Ceto has a bit of a reputation of breaking in the new talent as it were. And saying 'no' isn't an option." Garrus paused as a dark memory fluttered momentarily to the front of his mind. He quickly shoved it away. "That's how she wound up pregnant. And she wanted nothing to do with the egg after she laid it. So at 19 I had an egg to care for, and at 20 was a father. I couldn't care for him in my line of work so I sent him to live with relatives on Palaven. And all I could do was send money home. So despite having Ceto making my life miserable, I had impressed lots of people by then which kept me relatively safe. And the pay and more importantly the benefits were too good to walk away from. I had Leto to think about. So I stuck it out until Leto had seen his 15th summer and was off to Basic. I didn't need the money or benefits anymore so I finally stopped. Dad offered me a room if I wanted to come to the Citadel. And I've been working at C-Sec since."
"Oh." Was all that Tali could say. "It doesn't sound like you've gotten to spend much time with your son." Tali said. She suddenly felt guilty that she was taking up Garrus' time while Leto was on the station. Yes, she had a right to some of his time too but he'd still be here in 4 days. Leto wouldn't be.
"No. I would make a video call or write him a letter when I could. But his relatives raised him. I just sent money home. We get along alright though. I think over the years he's just accepted that this is the way our relationship is. It's not what either of us wanted but you don't always get what you want out of life. " Garrus replied wistfully. "I didn't want you to find out this way you know. About Leto I mean." He continued.
"It was quite the shock." Tali replied.
"I was planning on telling you soon at one of our dinner dates. Feel you out a little, see if you'd be willing to be with a guy that already had a kid. And if you were willing, I was going to ask you about being exclusive to each other."
"What?" Tali exclaimed as she catapulted herself upright to stare down at Garrus. In response the turian just propped himself up onto his elbows. Partly to lessen the angle at which he had to look up, and partly because Tali was flashing him the bottom of her face. She really needed to stop doing that. It just wasn't appropriate.
"Look Natalia, I was young once so I know what it's like. I won't pretend to know what you do on the nights you're not here but I'd really like to take our relationship to the next level. Be more serious. And for that to happen, you have to stop seeing whoever else you are seeing in addition to me."
Tali flapped her jaw open and shut a few times. Was he really suggesting that she slept around? That's it. She was going to kill him. Right here. With her bare hands.
Possibly for the better, Garrus took her muted response of shock as hesitation. To his mind he was asking a big thing. And he was. Surely a hot young thing like her had several boy toys. He remembered her birthday party. That was the life style of the rich and beautiful, wasn't it? Natalia Zorah definitely qualified. Adrian certainly was that way so he felt justified in his theory that his sister might act the same way. She was clearly just much better at keeping things discrete.
Garrus hoisted himself out of bed and looked around the room. She'd moved in here and was pretty tore up about him leaving. That gave him some hope. But they really had to move her out. It was the right thing to do and shouldn't be a factor in her decision making. "Look, I know it's a big step so don't give me an answer right away. Just think about it, alright? Now come on, let's get you packed up."
Together they worked to pack up Tali's things. Garrus kept things lively with a very sanitized retelling of his latest adventure. Once she was all packed up they ventured out into the common living area and found the rest of the Vakarians plus Liara there chatting. They joined in and Garrus told his story again for the benefit of his folks.
-0-0-0-0-0-
Tali dragged her bags back home, seething the whole way. Before she'd been angry because of how badly he had frightened her. Now she was angry at him for a whole different reason. Did he really think that SHE, of all people, would... She waited for him for 7 years just to start dating him for crying out loud! Somewhere, though in the back of her mind was a twinge of something. Plausibility perhaps. Sure she'd been out on a dates, even kissed a few of them but she had every right. He'd slept with ancestors knows how many people. With a build like his it was a miracle he was still single. Even with the scars he was gorgeous. No, no thinking about his buff body. She was mad at him damn it.
And she stayed mad at him for the next month. He cancelled their next few dates nights citing being swamped at work. He was never swamped at work. He was a lead detective, he had a whole team of people working under him. Why couldn't he let them handle things for a night?
It was a good thing it was the summer break because Tali was becoming increasingly grouchy as that month wore on. Her assistants lived in fear of her, especially her newest addition to her grown team of personal assistants. Now she had 5 of them, 4 dedicated to just running through everything related to Mass Effect.
At the very least, Tali limited her reign of terror only onto her assistants. The first time she got a little bitchy on an outing with Solana, her sister called her out on it.
"Why are you being so bitchy today?" Solana had questioned her. Hands on her hips, hips cocked to one side, and staring Tali dead in the eyes. It was her 'don't mess with me' stance. Tali knew that because she had the exact same stance. She wasn't sure who had taught it to whom.
"It's nothing." Tali tried to insist.
"Oh come off it. This is the first time we've gone out in months where it's just use and you are being a sour puss about everything. And you have bags to deep under your eyes I can see them through your veil. So I can tell you aren't sleeping well. And if you aren't sleeping well, something must be bothering you. Enough that you are lashing out at just about everything that moves."
"It's not something we can talk about. It would break a rule." Tali said snidely. Okay, maybe she was being a bitch about it but rules were rules.
"So what did my idiot brother do? Are you fighting? Because you haven't been over to the house all month." Solana asked, which earned her a questioning look from Tali. "Liara says I should try talking to you about you and Garrus. Says it would be good for both of us. Just no mushy details. I really don't need to know what you do with my brother. No matter how much I love both of you."
Hearing this Tali thought things over, debating what to tell Solana. It would be nice to talk to her to get a turian perspective.
"He said he wanted to take things to the next level. He said he wanted us to be 'exclusive.'" Tali used air quotes around the word. "And he insinuated I slept around as much as you used to. Or Adrian does."
Solana laughed causing Tali to bristle at the sound. "It's not funny." Tali snapped.
"Yes it is. He thinks you sleep around. What the hell did you do to him to make him think that. Actually I don't want to know. But come on. It is funny. You of all people sleeping around. You've had him up on a pedestal for years waiting to just kiss him never mind... You corrected him I'm assuming."
"About having him on a pedestal? Like I would ever admit to such a thing." Tali crossed her arms and glared at her so called sister. Solana only laughed more.
"No about you not sleeping around."
"I was too shocked to say anything. Then we packed up and he just told stories. He also said to think about for a while. Which is why I haven't been around lately."
"Any why you aren't sleeping well. What, I can see those bags under your eyes remember. And I was there the last time you got strung out on lack of sleep. I can steal one of his pillows for you if you want." Solana offered. It wouldn't so much be stealing as straight up telling her brother she was taking one of his pillows. He was sleeping on the couch anyway what with all the construction that was going on in his room. Which gave her an idea. Maybe she could ask daddy to have something similar done to her room. Maybe even install a little kitchen area for Liara to keep her own food. It would be extremely handy once Jane came around. Perhaps Garrus could help out. He and Jane got along well enough from what Liara told her. And if anyone could find her it would be her big brother.
"Are you even listening to me?" Tali asked even though she knew the answer. Solana had gotten a blank look on her face which Tali had seen many times over the years.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I was asking if you'd heard anything from Jane. We put out the teaser trailer of her dying yesterday and there is already an extranet site petitioning we bring back her character."
"Well you were an idiot for killing her off in the first place." Solana replied heatedly.
"I told you it was her idea. I just thought maybe you'd heard from her. I want to try to talk her back onto the show. Since Liara quit it might make things easier." Tali explained. She also wanted to ask Jane a few questions that only she might be able to talk about. Something about Garrus' story about Ceto was unsettling and Tali suspected Jane of all people might be the only other person who might have experienced something similar to what Garrus had, given her previous career.
"Neither Liara nor I have heard from her. The last we heard was from you and all you told us. We even went to that apartment you told about but she moved out. But I think it's very much like big brother to ask you what he did. I know I'm to a good girl like you and if Adrian's behavior outside of work is anything to go by. Well, you can't blame him to thinking you sleep around. And, he likes you. A lot. You know that right?"
Despite herself Tali actually blushed and looked down at her now cold lunch. It was all very tame but actually talking to Solana about Garrus was just so new. And talking about emotions was a sensitive area. "He said he cared about me, yeah."
"Look, most turians don't really look to settle down until they are 40 plus. And if he's asking you to be 'exclusive' then it means he is serious about you girl. As far as I know, you're the only intended he's had in all the years he's been on the Citadel."
Tali whipped her head up. Intended. Sure Solana meant to use a different word. Because intended in quarian was serious. Super serious. Like the marriage contract was signed and the bride price paid sort of serious. "I, uh, his intended?" Tali managed giving Solana a look that was a mix of sheer terror and blissful happiness. It confused the hell out of the turian for a moment.
"Oh hang on." Solana said getting a wave in response from Tali. Solana opened her omnitool and opened up the turian-quarian dictionary. Having learned quarian ages ago, Solana didn't use her translator when talking to her sister. Tali likewise had learned and spoke turian as well as someone could without the necessary physiology for the subharmonics. But on extremely rare occasions there were sometimes words that just failed in translation. This seemed to be one of them.
"Girlfriend." Solana finally intoned having found the word she was looking for. It was such a strange word. Turians just had friends, intended and mates. It was so simple. If one wanted to lay claim to someone, they merely introduced them as their intended. As in they intended to become mates with this person and were pursuing them to that end. Quarians had different stages of nuance to relationships. Friends, boy/girlfriend dependent on gender, intending, intended, and finally husband/wife. Looking up intended, Solana understood why Tali had reacted the way she did.
"Oh okay. Girlfriend. We, we haven't talked about things like that. He just sort of told me what his old job was and we packed up."
"So do you want to be?"
"Be what?" Tali asked
"His girlfriend." Solana slowly said the unfamiliar word. "Or would you rather be his intended?"
Tali flushed purple in response which earned a laugh from her sister. "I'll see about stealing one of his pillows for you. He's been sleeping on the couch in the living room since he back anyway. So he only needs one."
No matter how much Tali pried or even bribed, Solana refused to explain why her brother was sleeping on the couch. Tali eventually gave up and turned the conversation to other things. It was a good distraction and she enjoyed her afternoon out with her sister.
A/N: So just in case anyone noticed, I did edit and reupload all the chapters written so far. Crazy I know that an English Teacher would do such a thing. All I did was fix time references so they should line up with each other. Chapters 1 and 2 cover everything from when Garrus and Tali were 35-43 and 14-22 respectively. This little drabble of mine that you are all reading then continues from the point Tali turned 22 and Mass Effect became a thing. And I know I didn't answer the one review I got about how Jane could read the scripts but I felt there was plenty in this chapter without shoehorning in even more. Plus I did throw in a small hint in Tali and Solana's lunch discussion.
I also changed titles having found one I liked much better as well as bumped the rating up to M so I can more safely get Garrus and Jane to talk about less pleasant things. I'm not sure if T would cover the rating though I don't plan on getting too graphic. Just covering my back is all.