|| And here we have chapter 3 of Blank Out! AKA "the part where Trigger Happy is an asshole. Seriously." ||

Chapter Three

Dusk fell. Kaos and Glumshanks watched from behind the brambles as the lost Skylanders and their new Stump Dog friend pondered what to do next. "What do you think they're doing?" Glumshanks asked.

Kaos grumbled. "Probably scheming how to defeat my evil awesomeness next..."

"I doubt it."

"Eh?"

"They look lost, sir," Glumshanks told him. "Maybe now would be a good time to strike? That Sky Baron is probably an Air Element, and if we- you capture them, you could trick the dragon into coming to rescue them."

As Kaos considered his butler's advice, Jet-Vac, Trigger Happy and Stealth Elf were considering a plan to recover their lost memories. Jet and Trigg were discussing various ideas while Stealth watched in confusion with the dog in her lap.

"I still say we find an airship and leave this crappy island," Trigg suggested.

Jet growled. "We're not starting over, gremlin," he reminded him. "And we can't leave. There could be somebody looking for us."

"Like the feds looking for outlaws..."

"Shut it! You'll scare the girl."

"Well, we should come up with something soon..." Stealth said. "I'm hungry... and I have to go to the bathroom..." The puppy looked up at her.

Trigg facepalmed, muttering stuff under his breath, and Jet pointed towards the wood. "There's a bush with your name on it," he said.

"Use one that we can't see..." Trigg sighed, his hand still over his face.

"Alright, I've got it Glumshanks!" Kaos declared in a whisper so that the Skylanders couldn't hear. "We'll jump them, grab an Air source from the Sky Baron, and trick the dragon into rescuing them!"

Glumshanks sighed. "Yes, sir," he replied. "Your plan is flawless."

Kaos cackled evilly. "Why, yes it is! Now on the count of three, we jump out and surprise them."

"Yes. There is absolutely no way that could blow up in your face."

"What?!"

"Nothing!"

Kaos cackled evilly. "Ready?"

"Actually, I-"

"OnetwothreeGO!" The evildoers leaped out from their hiding spot in the bushes. "Skylanders!" Kaos exclaimed.

Stealth leaped a mile in the air, Jet looked confused and Trigg took an offensive position like a Street Fighter. "Who the hell are you?!" Trigg cried, causing Kaos and Glumshanks to look extremely perplexed.

"How can he not know me?" Kaos whispered. Glumshanks responded with a shrug.

Jet pulled the gremlin away so that he could speak with the Portal Master himself. Trigger shot the bird a "who died and put you in charge?" look when he did so. Stealth Elf was holding onto her Stump Pup for dear life. "Do you know who we are?" asked Jet-Vac in a genuine tone.

Kaos tilted his head, then exchanged glances with his butler. "Wait... you don't remember who you are?" Jet shook his head, Trigg and Stealth looked at the ground. "You don't remember... anything?" More head shaking.

Kaos glanced back at Glumshanks, and with the exact same thought going through their heads, they grinned and high-fived. "Well, allow me to shed some light on the subject!" the young villain laughed, stepping closer to the amnesiac Skylanders. Stealth stood up and moved closer to Trigg, which caught the gremlin off guard. "I am Lord Kaos, the rightful, all powerful, awesome ruler of Skylands!"

"A lord?" Stealth questioned. The quiet tone in her voice was totally out of character, but hey, amnesia.

"Why yes, my dear," Kaos continued with a sly look on his face. "And you see, you three work for me!"

Trigg raised an eyebrow. "We do?"

"You do!" Kaos exclaimed. "You're, uh... uh..."

"Guards?" Glumshanks suggested.

"Guards!" Kaos cried, receiving confused looks. "Guardians. Yes! My most trusted workers."

Jet scratched his chin. "Really?" he asked. Kaos nodded. "Then, you can tell us our names, right?"

"Ah! I want to know my name!" Stealth said. The Stump Puppy barked in agreement.

"Oh... uh, of course!" Kaos replied. He then leaned towards Glumshanks. "What are their names?" he whispered.

"How am I supposed to know?" Glumshanks whispered back.

Kaos laughed nervously, tapping his foot. "Names, names..." Trigg glared at him suspiciously. "Yes. Um..." He pointed to Jet-Vac. "You're name is, uh, Silver."

Jet nodded slowly. "Silver..." he parroted. "Yes! A truly worthy name."

"It really is," Kaos concurred. Glumshanks rolled his eyes.

"What about me, eh?" Trigg butted in.

Kaos clenched his teeth. "Right, you. You're, um... Blaster."

Trigg smirked and pounded his fists together. "Sounds about right! Now I just need an awesome rap theme song."

"Right..." Jet chuckled.

Stealth raised her hand. "Oh! What about me?" Her dog pal was wagging it's tail.

Kaos scratched his head, then snapped his fingers. "Right! You're Saki."

"Ah!" Stealth said cheerfully. "Hear that?" She turned to the puppy. "I have a name! 'Saki!'"

Glumshanks tapped his master's shoulder to get her attention. "Saki?" he questioned.

"What?" Kaos shrugged. "It's old Elvish!" Glumshanks sighed.

"So how did we end up here?" Trigg asked.

"Hey, I'm not done admiring my name!" Jet-Vac exclaimed.

"...How did we lose our memories?" Trigg totally ignored him.

Kaos nodded. "Well, you see," He faked a solemn expression. "You were doing what you always do- your completely awesome job of protecting my great kingdom from a gang of rebels called the Skylanders."

"R-Rebels?" Stealth stuttered.

"Sounds evil..." Trigg growled.

"Oh, they are," Kaos assured them. Glumshanks was trying not to laugh as his master rambled off lies. "But just when you were about to take them out for good, their leader generated a powerful blast that sent you flying to a totally different island!" He pretended to look upset as he continued. "We were so worried! We went searching for you as soon as it happened, but could never have imagined this!" Glumshanks turned so that the Skylanders couldn't tell he was chuckling.

"That's thoughtful of you," Stealth said.

"Right! You sound like a great leader," Jet added.

Glumshanks wiped a tear from his eye and turned back to them. "He is!" the troll insisted. "Everybody in Skylands adores Lord Kaos."

"Wait, if he's a lord," Trigg said. "then shouldn't we be bowing?"

"I think we are!" Stealth cried.

"Well what are we doing just standing here?!" Jet exclaimed, taking a knee. The other two did the same. Even the Stump Dog collapsed it's front legs to look like it was bowing.

Kaos' eyes brightened, and he did a "cha-ching" motion with his arm while they weren't looking. He then stood back up and dusted off his robe, and cleared his throat. "Oh no, there's no need for that." He tried to sound humble. "Please, stand up." You could tell he was struggling. "Let's go back to my- er, our castle. I can fill you in on everything else on the way there."

"Ah! I want to know why my arm is broken!" Stealth Elf cried when she stood up. The dog tilted it's head at her. "And why I can only see straight ahead!"

"I'll explain anything you want," Kaos chuckled. "Now, where did you park the ship, Glumshanks?"

"Who's the troll?" Trigg uttered.

Jet shrugged. "Beats me, Blaster," he replied. "I guess his name is 'Glumshanks.'"

"That's a funny name," Stealth noted.

"It really is," Trigg laughed.

"Come on, you three!" Glumshanks called. "You shouldn't keep your glorious leader waiting!"

"Wouldn't dream of it!" Jet replied, dashing after them into the forest. "I told you we shouldn't have left the island!"

"Ah, shut your beak, bird boy!" Trigg replied.

"Come on, don't fight!" Stealth begged, the dog following her into the wood.

"Stealth Elf!" Sunburn called.

"Hey, Trigg!" Spyro exclaimed. The only response was an echo.

Chop Chop shook his head. "The sun is going down," he said. "I think it's time to go back to Woddburrow."

"No!" Whirlwind cried. "We can't go back without them!"

"He's right, Whirl," Spyro sighed. "The others don't know where we are. We have to go back.

"But... but what about-?"

"We'll come back with a bigger search party tomorrow," Spyro reassured her.

"First thing in the morning," Sunburn added.

Whirl looked at her feet. "Well... okay, I guess. First thing in the morning!"

"Right!" Spyro said. "Now let's go back and tell everybody what happened."

"All I'm saying is that my name is better than yours!" Jet said as he and the others wandered through the forest.

Trigger Happy laughed. "Ha! Keep telling yourself that."

"C'mon guys!" Stealth pleaded. "Don't argue!"

"Let them go at it," Glumshanks said. "That's just male nature."

Stealth sighed. "Alright, mister..."

"So where's the freaking ship?" Trigg asked.

"Eh?" Kaos said. "Oh, right. It's just up ahead."

But before Trigg could reply, Jet stopped him and Stealth in their tracks. "What's the matter?" Stealth asked.

"I heard something..." Jet replied.

Trigg snorted. "Like what?"

"I'm not sure..." Jet replied. Then the ground shook. "Yeah, that's what I heard!"

"Is this part of the plan, sir?" Glumshanks quietly asked Kaos.

"I don't even know what that was!" Kaos frantically replied.

The ground shook again and the Stump Puppy leaped onto Trigg's head. "Get your pet off my freaking head," he growled, and Stealth Elf took it away.

"W-What was that...?" the ninja asked. A low growl emerged from her dog's throat.

As if to answer her question, a pair of Cyclops Mammoths stormed out of the forest, sending trees crashing down in the process and creating more tremors. "I'd say it was that," Trigg grumbled.

Kaos screeched. "Wait, don't those things work for you?" Glumshanks pointed out.

"They have brains the size of walnuts," Jet countered. "Eve if they do 'work' for Lord Kaos, they won't listen to his commands."

"We'll have to drive them off, then," Trigg said. Stealth's dog friend yipped in agreement.

"Right," Jet concurred, setting up his blaster for a special attack. "You stay away, m'lord. We'll handle this."

"You too, princess," Trigg told Stealth Elf before stupidly lunging at the same mammoth as Jet-Vac.

Stealth raised an eyebrow. "Princess?"

"He's not wrong," Glumshanks said.

Stealth's ears drooped. When she wasn't paying attention, the dog leaped from her arm and bit down on the other Cyclops Mammoth's leg. The beast roared and flung the dog back.

"My buster can drag it closer," Jet told Trigg. "I can distract it using this function, and you can hit it's weak point."

"Where's that?"

"The eye."

"How do you know this crap?"

"Beats me. Now go behind it!" Trigg rolled his eyes and dashed away. "Hey, ugly!" Jet called, catching one-eyed monster's attention. He turned on the vacuum setting of his artillery, slowly dragging the mammoth towards him. "Alright... now!"

"Hrah!" Trigg leaped onto it's back and grabbed hold of it's horns. "Take this!" He flipped over and jammed his heels into the Cyclops Mammoth's eye. It cried out and flung the gremlin to the ground, but he landed on his feet.

"Not bad," Jet complimented him as the behemoth rubbed it's injured eye and clumsily ran back into the forest.

Trigg nodded with a slight smile on his face. Then his ears perked and his head turned when he heard a shriek. The second mammoth was looming over Stealth Elf and her dog. Kaos and Glumshanks wouldn't do anything, they were cowering behind a tree. Trigg snarled and somersaulted between them. With a grunt, he jumped up and uppercut the beast in the jaw. He then jabbed his fist into the eye like Jet had instructed. Stealth stood speechless as the Cyclops followed the other into the wood. Trigg waited, then grumbled at her silence. "You're welcome."

"O-Oh! Wait-!" Stealth exclaimed, but he had already walked away. The Stump Dog looked up at her pitifully as she quietly stuttered, "T-Thank you..."

"Well, that was impressive," Kaos praised. "Now, let's actually go! I'm getting sick of this place."

Stealth's ears drooped again and she shook her head. "I'm useless..." she muttered. The dog whimpered.

Jet set his hand on her shoulder. "It's fine," he said. "You'll get better."

Stealth sighed. "If you say so..."

|| Kaos would be dead without Glumshanks. No joke.

Wow, amnesiac Stealth Elf is pretty pathetic. I kind of forgot just how pathetic I made her. Even though I've reread this story multiple times. Yeah, I read my own fanfiction. I've reread Maka Gets a Boyfriend at the End of This Story like, fifteen times. What's the point in writing it if you're not gonna read it?

Surprisingly I don't have much to say about the poor quality of this one's writing. I guess that nothing here especially stands out like it does in Swappable Stoppable and Pop Fizz... of DOOM! Which I guess is technically an improvement... technically? It's just a more subtle awful than the last two stories. ||