"Are you sure you don't want to borrow my wedges?" Kelsey asks me while she sprays something that smells very beachy into my hair. She twirls a few random strands around her fingers before shaking and scrunching it all out.
"Considering the fact that your wedges are about five inches high and I'm going to be walking on a pier all afternoon, I think I'll pass. But thanks for the offer!" I say sarcastically.
"Fine, but please don't wear those raggedy flip flops," she pleads as she hands me a pair of large silver hoop earrings.
"I happen to like my flip flops, they're comfortable." I put the earrings on and turn to the mirror to apply a coat of mascara and some clear, pink tinted lip gloss.
"Ugh. Whatever. Let me look at you," she grabs my arm and turns me towards her.
I'm wearing the aforementioned flip flops along with blue denim shorts and a loose fitting, thin-strapped white shirt that flows out around the mid section.
"I still think a dress would've been a better idea," Kelsey complains.
"Not in October on the pier Kels. The last thing I want is to have to worry about keeping a dress from blowing up around my hips and flashing my ass to the world."
"But it's such a great ass," Kelsey smiles at me. She can sense that I'm nervous and I know she's trying to make me feel better.
"Thanks. Really though, do I look okay?" I ask, tugging on the shirt so that it covers my stomach completely.
"You look amazing, you always do. Stop worrying. He already likes you. Why else would he hang around you all week, deal with last night's events, and still ask you out?"
"To further his torment of me with the whole gay thing?"
"Stop. If anything, it's more flattering that he kept it going. He wanted to get closer to you without you worrying about the fact that he was hitting on you. He wanted you to be comfortable with him. I think it's sweet," she says, sitting on the edge of the bed across from me.
"Oh please, he got a kick out of it. He was probably just waiting for the moment I realized it so he could laugh in my face."
There's a knock at the front door and Kelsey's eyes light up before she bounces out of the room. I take a minute to give myself a once over in the mirror and a mental pep talk. I tell myself to relax. This is no different than all our trips to the coffee shop. Except for the part where he called it a date. That's definitely new.
Screw it.
I walk into the living room and Kelsey gives me a discreet thumbs up before I grab my purse and keys. I approach Dean and he trails his eyes from my head to my feet and back again. I suddenly feel like I'm not wearing enough clothes.
"You look beautiful," he says, holding the front door open for me.
I can't help but smile up at him as I walk past. "Thanks, you clean up pretty nicely too."
"I try. After all, I've got an image to maintain right?"
I cringe and punch the button for the elevator.
"Sorry, guess it's not as funny now that you're sober."
I narrow my eyes at him. "It wasn't very funny when I was drunk either."
I brush against his arm as I step onto the elevator and I can feel a crackle of electricity as our skin touches. I rub the chills from my arm and press the button for the ground floor. I hazard a glance out of the corner of my eye and immediately wish I didn't. He's leaning back against the side of the elevator, the sleeves of his black henley pushed up to his elbows while his hands are shoved in the pockets of faded jeans. He is unabashedly staring at me with a half smile that makes my heart speed up and cheeks flame. I quickly refocus my eyes on the elevator doors in front of me, silently willing them to open.
Once we're outside, he steers me towards his car and opens the door for me. I feel a little flutter in my chest at the sweet gesture. We ride to the pier mainly in silence. I don't know what to say and when I finally peek over in his direction I see that he's staring at me from the corner of his eye. I look down at my hands twisting in my lap and an involuntary smile takes over my face.
"Shouldn't you be paying attention to the road?" I tease.
"If you wanted me to pay attention to the road, you probably should've worn jeans and a turtleneck. Even then, I couldn't make any guarantees."
He pulls into a parking space and grabs a leather jacket from the backseat before we get out of the car and head towards the pier. It's late in the season but the pier is still bustling with tourists. There's a cool breeze coming off the ocean and I know by nightfall I'll be wishing I brought a jacket myself.
We poke in and out of a couple different shops looking at silly souvenirs and rows of postcards. We decide to walk down to the end of the pier to a Mexican restaurant overlooking the water for lunch. We're seated on the patio and I can hear the waves crashing beneath us. It's such a gorgeous day.
"So, all week we've talked about classes, my photography plans, your still-to-be-determined psych plans, friends, books…I want to know more about you. Where are you from?" Dean asks me after we place our order with the waitress.
"Back east, a small town in southeastern Pennsylvania," I tell him as I remove the lemon from my water before I take a sip.
"You're kidding." He eyes me with a speculative glance.
"Nope, serious. My parents both went to Eastern University. My dad was a local and they settled down in the area to be near family," I explain.
"Small world," he squeezes lemon juice into his water and swirls it around with his straw. I nudge my lemon in his direction so he can make use of it as well. "I'm from Philadelphia. Born and raised."
"No way, really?" He's lived half an hour from me my whole life. Very small world.
"Pretty random that we lived so close and ended up meeting here, now, three thousand miles from home. Kind of like it was meant to happen this way." His sky blue eyes lock with mine and I have this urge to reach across the table and touch his hand, just to make contact.
Luckily the waitress chooses that moment to bring out our food. I came so close to looking very stupid. Again. She drops off the plates then leaves us alone and Dean resumes his line of questioning.
"Tell me about your family," he says as he begins to put together his fajita. I build my own as well before I dive into the story.
I tell him how my parents met at college and how my Aunt Mer and Uncle Shep met there as well. I talk about my four uncles and Papa Maddox. He's surprised to hear that I've got a younger brother. He asks me questions about each member of my motley crew of a family and I can tell he's not just feigning interest. He really wants to get to know me. My heart gives a little flutter.
"So your brother Jamie is a card shark, and Jared is a ladies man, so where does that leave you?" he asks.
I hesitate. It's kind of an unwritten rule that we don't talk about the fights to outsiders. Only the fighters and the spectators, who are part of the inner circle so to speak, are aware of what goes on. Breaking into a gym in the middle of the night and gambling illegally over unauthorized fights is sort of frowned upon, even if the guy spearheading the fights has a key. As if they weren't good enough excuses to avoid the topic, the reason behind why I do what I do is too hard to talk about and I'm not ready to explain them to him. I decide to skirt around that part of my life for now.
"I guess I'm just a mystery," I give him a brief smile and wipe my hands on my napkin then push my plate away. "Thank you so much for lunch, it was delicious."
"I knew you'd like this place. I've come here with Danny a few times."
"So is Danny your only sibling?" I ask.
"Yeah, just me and Dan. Mom figured two boys was as much as she could handle so that's where they stopped." He smirks and leans back to rest his elbow over the back of his chair, never taking his eyes off of me. It's a little unnerving, the intensity of his stares. Yet I can't say they're all together unwelcome.
"What about your dad, is he happy with his two boys?"
He looks uncomfortable for a second before he composes himself. "Oh I don't know. He had his daughter with his mistress to dote on once Danny hit high school, so I'd say he rounded things out nicely. He went off and it was just me, mom and Danny. Danny lost it a little, didn't really know how to cope. He needed his dad, or thought he did. He got into some stuff that he wouldn't have if it wasn't for the fact that his dad abandoned him. He fell in with a bad crowd and it took me about a year to get my brother back. We're pretty close now because of all the shit we've gone through together so I guess I should thank the bastard, huh?"
"Wow. That…that really blows. I'm sorry," I say, my stomach twists for this poor boy who's father abandoned him when he needed him the most. He talks about how Danny handled it, but doesn't mention himself. I know it must've been rough trying to parent his brother and try to hold his own feelings back.
"No worries. It was a few years back, we've recovered. My mom found my stepdad Nick, who's great. She loves him, he loves her, and doesn't have a secret life that no one else knows about. Things worked out for the best in the end."
I feel a tug of sympathy for his family, and for him. I know what it's like to go through something and not have anyone to open up to because you're too busy looking out for everyone else to consider yourself.
This time I don't fight the urge to reach out and place my hand over his. Right before I lower my hand, he flips his over so that our palms are resting against one another. The warm current is there again, humming under my skin. I look from our hands to his eyes and I can tell he feels it too. He shifts his hand so his fingers lace with mine and skims his thumb over the back of my hand. I have to fight the urge to lean across the table to touch his lips with mine.
He finally tears his eyes away from mine and reaches for his wallet to pay our tab.
"Come on," he says, "you can't come to the pier without hitting the rides."
"Ok, I haven't done this in a while so go easy on me," I bite my lip to keep from smiling.
"No way, the rougher the better! I hope you're ready."
A bell rings and I lurch forward as I'm hit from behind. I quickly turn the steering wheel and extract myself from the pile up of cars in the corner before I make a beeline for Dean. I slam into his side and begin laughing like a lunatic. I haven't ridden the bumper cars in so long, I forgot how fun it could be.
We take turns chasing and bumping into each other, every hit causes us to laugh even harder. It's been a while since I've had this much fun. As the bell rings again we both skid to a stop. I unhook the seatbelt and stand up as Dean holds his hand out to help me from the car. I grin like a fool at the gesture and completely miss the step on the outside of the car which results in me falling face first into his chest.
"You ok?" Dean tries to help me gain my footing by wrapping one arm around my back and the other around my waist. I straighten just as my body registers our proximity and my knees threaten to go weak all over again.
"Um…" I'm staring into his eyes and my train of thought has completely derailed.
He brings one hand up to my face and rests his palm against my cheek. His thumb sweeps back and forth twice and he starts moving in slowly when—
"Watch it!" A young boy shoves past us nearly knocking me off balance again. He shouts to his mother that he wants to go again and I take the interruption as my chance to back away and start breathing. Apparently I had stopped for a few seconds. He seems to have that effect on me.
"I guess pedestrians aren't safe on the bumper car roadway." He reaches one arm behind my back to steer us both off the ride and back to the safety of the pier.
We spend the next two hours playing games and Dean munches on cotton candy, which I politely refuse since just the smell makes my stomach start to churn. The sun has already started to set and the sky is turning a brilliant orange with a dark, dusky blue trailing the edges, trying to swallow up the last of the light. We're leaning over the edge of the pier on our elbows, he's holding the paper cone topped with a cloud of pink and blue spun sugar, tearing off huge chunks and shoving them into his mouth while he smirks at me.
"So you really won't do it? I'll be right next to you. I promise, nothing will happen."
He's been trying to get me to ride the ferris wheel with him for half the time we spent trying to win cheap boardwalk prizes.
"If I do this, you will owe me. Big. I mean, huge." I'm not fond of heights, and slow heights over an ocean full of breaking waves is pretty much the least fun thing I can think of right now.
"Fine, you go on this ride with me and I will do anything you ask. As long as it doesn't involve me in lingerie. Let's face it, there are just too many misunderstandings to be had in that situation." He winks at me and snags another chunk of cotton candy before grabbing my free hand in his and dragging me towards the line for the ferris wheel.
"If I puke or pass out, just remember, you asked for it," I say to him as the ride attendant opens the gate to the seat and flashes me a concerned look.
"Don't worry, I live in a frat house. It's nothing I haven't seen before, on numerous occasions actually. Besides, I've seen you puke already. I'm unfazed."
Dean takes a seat and holds out a hand to help me into the space next to him. I grip the top of the safety gate with both hands until my knuckles turn white.
"Close your eyes."
"What?" I turn to face him.
"Close your eyes. Trust me." His eyes are so sincere, I have no choice but to do as he says.
I feel the wheel start to move and my stomach flip flops as our car sways back and forth with the movement. I don't dare loosen my death grip on the gate. I feel Dean shift next to me and I shiver when his warm breath tickles my neck.
"Relax," he whispers to me.
"Trying," I force the word out just as the wheel jerks to a stop. I know we're hanging in mid air and the thought alone causes my entire body to tremble.
"Hey, Jessie, calm down. It's alright, I promise, I've got you," he soothes and I feel his arm wrap around my shoulders, pulling me close to him as he repeats, "I've got you."
Suddenly I'm trembling for a completely different reason. His arm is warm and strong, I can feel his muscles rippling as he rubs his hand up and down my arm in an attempt to calm me and banish the chill from my arms all at the same time. I loosen my grasp on the gate and concentrate on breathing evenly.
"Trust me now Jessie. Open your eyes," he murmurs, so close I can feel his lips brush slightly against my ear.
I take a deep breath and squint my eyes, then open them fully as I take in the sight in front of me. We're stopped at the top of the ferris wheel and stretched out before us is nothing but ocean and sky. The sun has dipped all the way down to the horizon and the sky is like an oil painting with streaks of oranges, pinks, purples and blues all merging together beautifully on a giant canvas.
"So beautiful," I sigh, in awe of the scenery.
"I know," Dean whispers in agreement from his place next to me, but from the proximity of his voice, I have a feeling he isn't looking at the view.
I tear my gaze from the sky and turn my head to the right to find Dean's eyes on me. In the fading light, they've taken on an eerily smokey quality that is almost hypnotizing. He removes his arm from around me to thread his fingers through my hair, coming to rest at the back of my neck. He leans toward me slowly, pulling me closer at the same time. With a slight gasp of breath I place my hand on the spot between his shoulder and his chest and let my eyes close as the space between our lips grows smaller by the second.
My stomach drops and my eyes pop open as we're suddenly jerked into motion and the wheel begins spinning again. I drop my palm from Dean's chest and return my hands to the safety gate. This time it is not to hold it closed and keep me from falling to my death. Now I'm gripping the gate in an attempt to calm my frayed nerves over the most intense almost-kiss I've ever experienced. As the wind rushes past my ears I hear the breath whoosh out of Dean's lungs in a deep sigh and I slant my eyes toward him just in time to see him lean his head back and scrub his hands over his face in frustration.
Oh believe me, I think to myself, the feeling is definitely mutual.