The dark room was quiet. Tension hung in the air so thick Neal felt like he was breathing syrup. He stared at his hand curled on his thigh. Trembling… he silently cursed his weakness both physical and emotional, and clenched his fist hoping Peter didn't see. He sat between his friend and agent Reynolds waiting while the lineup was arranged behind the window. He didn't look up, not at the 2 way mirror, not at either man beside him. His chest throbbed softly, every heartbeat reminding him of his helplessness.

The memory of Reynolds' furious face as he pulled him to his feet floated through his mind… terrifyingly close to his own, his eyes burning with barely contained murderous intent. Neal swallowed. He could live with the words Reynolds hissed at him. He could just keep his head down, stay far away from Emily and hope the man would still do his job. What hurt more than the strain of pulled wounds as he was yanked to his feet, were the words he overheard the man say to Emily…"Stay away from him sweetheart… he's a bad man." And the fear in the little girl's eyes when she looked back at him. Why did that hurt… it was after all true by all legal standards. He couldn't stand the thought of that beautiful little girl seeing him that way though.

A hand on his arm snapped his mind back to the task at hand "They ready?" inwardly flinching at the slight waver in his voice he looked up at Peter.

"Almost. You ok?"

"Yeah." He plastered a smile in place "I'm fine."

"Right" he didn't sound at all convinced as he moved to help Neal up. He waved his friend away and struggled to his feet on his own. His vision blurred a little. Keep stress to a minimum Dr. Andrews's words echoed in his mind. It almost made Neal smile. Yeah… that was going to happen.

With cautious steps he moved to the window and gazed through at the 6 men waiting there. In a moment Neal's blood turned to ice. Yes, he knew the second man from the left… he knew that face, that cold sneer, those huge fists… oh yes he knew those fists and those booted feet. The hiking boots had changed, he noted, but the man was the same... Brown eyes as hard and cold as stone, thin lips that smiled gleefully with each cry of pain he couldn't suppress… Donny's terrified eyes. Rico's whimper… Leo's quiet acceptance, his look saying this had happened before… too many times… Neal had to protect them, had to draw the man's attention back to himself, had to say something…but he couldn't move… couldn't breathe…

"Neal?" the hand on his shoulder was firm but not harsh…drawing him out of the memory. Peter's look was to gentle… worried. The younger man straightened and smiled brightly. His friend looked almost amused at that. "If you want to convince me you're ok…" he whispered "breathing would help." Neal released the breath he suddenly realized he was holding with a soft gasp.

"Second from the left" he said quietly

"You're sure?" Reynolds asked "he's one of the men who shot those boys?" Neal controlled the shudder Reynold voice sent through him

"He didn't pull the trigger…" Neal shook his head "he enjoyed the rest though."

"The rest…?"Confusion filled the agent's voice

"Hurting them" Peter understood. Neal nodded gratefully. He didn't have to say it, which was good because he had to clench his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering as he started to shiver. "You have your ID, Reynolds… I'm going to take him to the safe house now."

"I'm ok." He whispered. Peter took his wrist and gently raised his hand in front of his face, allowing him to see the pale blue nail beds…

"Your lips are worse." His friend told him "you need to rest... this has been more than enough stress for today." Neal would have argued if he hadn't been so focused on not trembling. Instead he forced a grin and allowed himself to be led away.

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Diana prowled the hotel room. Opting out of the briefing, after all she didn't need anyone to tell her how to handle Caffrey, she had come to the safe house early to make sure everything was in order. Honestly she wanted a little time to think. She wasn't sure why she volunteered for this. A part of her hated the man…she had been witness to the pain he left behind him when he fled. On the other hand… knowing he was alive…She had surprised by the weight that slid away when she heard. She was definitely going to punch Caffrey the moment she saw him, she decided… after all the h*** he put them all through last year…if he hadn't recently been hurt she just might have actually shot him herself… the sound of the keycard in the door made her look up.

All thoughts of violence vanished with one glance at Neal… If she hadn't had reassurance from Jones just this morning that he was alive she would have sworn she was looking at a ghost. His face was a terrifying shade of grey, his lips pulled thin… and blue. Her sharp eyes took in the sling that supported his limp right arm, the slight tremors running through his body, the way his clothes hung on his skinny frame… His clothes… a t-shirt and jeans…not a button in sight. There seemed to be so little left of the charming man she remembered but he grinned at her brilliantly, bright eyes sparkling with delight.

She hugged him… she wasn't sure why or who was more surprised. For a long moment his body seemed frozen, standing rigid and unmoving in her embrace. Then his left arm moved to her shoulder to awkwardly return her affection. Forcing herself to pull away and look stern she pointed him to the bed. He cocked an eyebrow questioningly

"Well if you wanted to get me in bed…" her glare could have killed an elephant but Neal just grinned… before wearily dropping onto the bed without bothering with the blanket … or his shoes.

Diana's eyes met Peter's "is he ok?" she mouthed

"He needs time… and" Peter sighed "lots of rest with no stress. Which I don't foresee happening."

"The murder…."

"Dredging all of that up… it can't be easy. Add the pressure of someone trying to … just try to keep him quiet… and make sure he rests. Take good care of him."

"Yes boss. Relax… he's in good hands."

"The best." He smiled "thanks Diana"

"For you, boss... anything."

"Make sure he takes these… he won't argue much about the bronchial dilators but he fights the pain meds." He handed her the bottles of pills… and an inhaler. "And this if he's having trouble…"

"Got it."

"I'll check in later. I need to have a talk with Agent Reynolds"

"What's wrong?"

"There was an incident at the office…"that look in his eye didn't bode well for the other agent, Diana thought.

She watched Peter leave then turned her dark eyes back to the man on the bed. Her sigh was quiet as she walked across the room ignoring the peculiar looks she got from the 2 DC agents. She carefully removed Neal's shoes. Then shook him gently, waking him enough to encourage him to slide under the blanket. He gave her a groggy smile.

"Take this." She ordered softly offering the codeine…it was the mildest of the 3 painkillers in her hand but it would take the edge off, with minimum argument, hopefully. Neal's look was withering as he shook his head.

"I'm fine" he mumbled still half asleep

"Take it." She commanded. It spoke to his level of exhaustion…or pain, that he didn't argue any farther, just swallowed the pill with a glare. She tucked the blanket around him carefully.

Straightening she shot a look brimming with daggers at the 2 smirking agents by the door, daring them to make any comments. She smiled inwardly when they flinched back a step.

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Burke was angry… beyond angry actually, that was extremely clear. Obviously he had heard about the incident earlier. Pacing like a caged lion, he stammered over the torrent of furious words that tried to burst out… Reynold though he might head him off…if he explained.

"Emily was sitting in his lap! I know I crossed a line but how would you react if you saw your child sitting in a sociopath's lap?"

"My son was playing on his hospital bed just the other day! He would never hurt a child! NEVER!"

"You may trust him with your kid but Emily is my whole world. If anything happened to her…"

"He wouldn't hurt her. He would not hurt her." The tone was icy. "Clearly I can't leave him with you…"

"I'll do my job."

"I can't even trust you not to hurt him yourself."

"I didn't hurt him. I just made him stand up and look me in the eye."

"You pulled him up… do you have any idea what that could have done?! The damage he has inside." Reynolds deflated

"I know. I wasn't thinking.", he shouldn't have gotten physical especially with an injured witness. "And I'm sorry…I also know he still gave us a positive ID afterward… which is surprisingly respectable."

"I told you, he wants justice for his friends."

"Or payback for what they did to him." A harsh glare answered that.

"Even if that's it … can you blame him?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, what 18 year old kid could you expect to be beaten half to death, watch his friends murdered, barely escaping with his own life and not want a little payback? At least he's going the legal route… a lot of people wouldn't…" Something flickered in those brown eyes.

"You're right… I just can't figure the man out…" maybe Burke was right… maybe there was more to Caffrey than the profile suggested…A bit of the anger drained out of Peter Burke at that

"You and the rest of the world." Peter's look was sympathetic … "I know you think you know what he is but please just… treat him like he's a person. Can you promise me that?" he could… maybe he should give the man a chance to show him what he was really made of…

"I can. As long as he stays away from Emily." He met the angry gaze with a steely one of his own. "I mean that… if he so much as looks at my daughter again…"

"He won't." Peter set his jaw "and I'm not leaving until …I trust you"

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Reynolds studied the man quietly… Caffrey sat, back against the wall, knees drawn up…a sketch pad propped on his thighs...with a pencil clasped awkwardly in his left hand. The intensity of his eyes on the paper seemed likely to start a fire. Burke sat silently in the corner… pretending to read…ready to swoop in to save the younger man if necessary… Reynolds resigned himself. He needed to do it… it wasn't hard … just apologize already. It was the right thing to do…

"Did you catch him?" Caffrey didn't look up… his hand didn't stop moving over the paper.

"What?" Reynolds stammered confused.

"The man who killed Molly" Blue eyes met his "Did you catch him?" A disbelieving noise escaped Burke, Caffrey glanced his direction then turned his burning gaze back to the stunned man before him.

"How did you know about…?" Caffrey shrugged noncommittally "you shouldn't know about…"

"I'm sorry…" he turned back to the paper "I didn't mean to pry" silence followed for a long moment… "he was a sociopath wasn't he?" the sound Burke make now was pure exasperation as he tossed the book down, bringing his hands up silently declaring "I give up"

"That is none of your business!" Reynolds snapped… the silence lasted longer this time… "Yes he was… DCPD arrested him." Why was he telling this man anything?

"That's good."

"Yeah" he was off balance…unsure where this conversation was going.

"It's better that way…" Caffrey didn't look at him now just continued drawing…

"Why's that?"

"You're a good man… like Peter" he shrugged one shoulder. "Finding him yourself… Would have broken that. Emily needs her dad to be a good man… a man she can be proud of" he lay the drawing aside and stood up…he stopped at the bathroom door. "She's a great kid… I understand why you are protective. I would be too." he said, he flashed a dazzling grin. A moment later the shower came on and Reynold turned to stare at Burke. The other man was eyeing the drawing left on the bed with a peculiar look… it didn't have nearly the detail of the sketches of the suspects, Reynolds noted, but it was clearly a beautiful young woman with long dark hair.

"What was that?"

"That was him telling you you're forgiven" Burke managed to sound amused and irritated at the same time… and just a little bit… sad. "And that he understands" his eyes lingered a moment longer on the drawing.

"How did he know about Molly?" Burke just shrugged

"He's Neal."

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Something in his chest broke with an audible CRACK! The pain spun his mind out of control! His vision darkened. He tried to breathe… but air simply wouldn't fill his lungs…through the black fog he saw his friends begging as the brutal mountain of muscle turned back to them!

"NO!" his mind screamed." stay away from them!" but his lips made no sound. He had to stop him, had to bring that monster's attention back to himself. If he could just buy them some time… he kicked out, his toe just brushing the man's ankle. It was surprising how quickly that bulk could spin around.

"KICK ME YOU LITTLE SON OF A B****!" the heavy hiking boot flew at his face! Once…twice… he didn't feel the third time. He couldn't see, couldn't move but he could hear their pain as the brute went after them… this had to stop… their faces danced through his mind. Leo, quiet shy Leo didn't make a sound when he was hit… he'd been hit to many times already… he was far too used to it… Neal couldn't let it happen to him again. Donny screamed in pain as a booted foot connect with bruised ribs…Rico was tough…stoic but his lips couldn't contain the groan, as a massive fist connected with his diaphragm. Neal had to move… say something to make this stop.

"Leave them alone…" he wasn't sure he said it out loud "I opened the safe…they never saw what was inside. Please…"he looked at his friends…He choked on the sour feeling in his throat…they were dead… all of them…Leo slumped face down in the dirt, Rico lay in a heap of jumbled limbs on his side, eyes closed, blood draining from his mouth… and Donny… Donny stared back at him, brown eyes still pleading with him to save him… vacant sightless eyes…

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, please forgive me" he begged those eyes.

The faces shifted, flickered… Kate, Ellen…Hale…dead because of him… he saw more … Elizabeth… Mozzie… Diana… Peter… all the people he ever loved … lifeless eyes staring at him accusingly… all around him…everywhere he turned, an army of dead faces. There was no escape! Sinking to his knees… he screamed… No escape!

"You destroy everything good around you."

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" he sobbed.

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Diana watched him twisting on the bed, moaning, whimpering. Was it pain or fear that caused the turmoil? She toyed with the bottle of pills on the table beside her. Pain she could ease…

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry!" he cried out before he jerked awake

She kept her eyes on the magazine in her hand while Neal's wild eyes darted around the room, allowing him his privacy until his breathing settled and he dropped back against the pillow. Limp, wrung out he didn't make another sound. She could tell he was still awake though…

"Bad dream?" Diana asked but is wasn't really a question. Even though she kept her eyes on her page, she knew he nodded

She look up then… meeting his eyes.

"You hurting?" he shook his head silently, fingers clutching the blanket.

"I'm fine" his voice caught, betraying him

"Right…"she rolled her eyes. "Neal you need to take care of yourself…let your body-"

"I've heard this lecture before."

"I'll bet you have. "She glared at him trying to keep her lips from twitching up "it doesn't make it any less true."

"I know."

"Good… then take your pills…"

"They make me sleepy"

"Great…" she grinned "because its 2 am"

He smiled… she had him there. He glowered ineffectually at her and took the pills she offered. He was quiet so long she thought he had dozed back off…

"Diana?"

"Yeah?"

"Do me a favor?" he opened his eyes… peered straight into hers… with burning intensity

"What's that?" Suspicious, she made no promises.

"Ask to be reassigned."

"Excuse me?" She laughed derisively

"Ask to be reassigned. This is too dangerous." He swallowed "I couldn't… if something happened to you…any of you…"

She smiled grimly. "Not happening Caffrey… I can take care of myself."

"Please" his eyes pleaded

"You know for a smart guy, you really are an idiot. Now good back to sleep…"

He smiled tightly closing his eyes "it was worth a shot…"

)()()()()()()()()()()()()()(

He glanced at the door to the hall, then at the bathroom door… the agent on guard had stepped in there a moment ago. The young man would be busy at least 5 minutes… 4 days cooped up with them and Neal knew their habits as well as he did his own. Every night… at 3am one of the guards checked the exterior, tonight it was Jones…the second left on a coffee run at the same time…

He carefully slipped out of bed and got dressed… getting dressed was different with only one functioning hand. Sliding his feet in his shoes…loafers, no laces… awkwardly he pulled the T-shirt over his head… no buttons. With the sling in place to hold his useless arm out of his way, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Definitely not his best look but it would do for this. Running his fingers through his unruly hair, he grabbed his phone… glancing at the screen, at the message there, He debated leaving the device briefly before he dropped it into his pocket.

He stood for a moment gazing out the window… a fire escape with only one arm was a nerve wracking prospect but he couldn't risk running into Jones and it was only 3 stories. Neal gulped and swung his leg over the window sill… he didn't really want to leave, but he couldn't stay… he wanted to be done running and hiding. Turning back he carefully closed the window behind him. Rung by rung… he was terrified but it was the only thing he could do… he didn't have any other choice. He could not let her be hurt… no one else would be hurt because of him… he sighed… at least there was that.

He was on the street before he heard the young agent call out an alarm… Neal broke into a jog, wishing momentarily that he had taken the offered pain pill earlier…

One block and his breath came in aching gasps…Two and his vision blurred at the edges and the world shifted slightly side to side, his heart shuddered in protest… Three and his legs were giving out. He could hardly see at all through the swirling colors. He stopped, sliding down the wall beside him. He huddled gasping, his head between his knees.

Slowly the world stopped spinning and he gingerly pushed himself to his feet. Still panting he waved down the first cab he saw… it took longer than it would have in New York, he thought. He glanced at his phone once more as he gave the driver an address. Then he let his head drop back against the seat and allowed his eyes to drift closed. He wouldn't let her… or anyone else get hurt.