"Want me to come over, are you ok?"

Entry 6- Not enough

Sleeping with him is the best thing in the world. Pressed against his side, with his arm around me as we drifted off into the land of Z's was amazing. I felt him pull away at some parts of the night which was totally okay with me. I hated the thought of cuddling ALL night. That sounds like it would eventually be uncomfortable for both sides. Then when it got closer to the mornings, I would feel his hands gripping my arms as my back stayed faced to him. He gripped tighter and tighter till he managed to pull me against his chest. Half awake, I turned to face him and pushed my body against his and we both ended up falling back asleep.

It was almost 7:00 in the morning when we woke up. It was so god damn early part of me hated him for waking me but opening my eyes and looking at his smile made it all worth it. I would never let him know that of course.

"So early..." I mumbled. He laughed and began poking my sides. That woke me up faster than anything else. I was ticklish as all hell. I shot up and jumped out of bed. "Noooo!" He laughed at my reaction and sat up as well. I pouted and picked up his shirt, off the ground, and threw it at him as I walked to the bathroom to drain my bladder. I walked to the mirror and examined myself. I groaned out of pity for myself. I looked horrid and he was over there looking like an angel. I flattened my baby hairs with water before stepping out and back into the room where he was already dressed. I frowned and closed the door after me. "Y-You're leaving?" I mumbled.

"Yeah I have work" He said buttoning up his pants. I frowned and nodded before following him to the door. He opened it after slipping his shoes on and there I stood, behind him, with arms crossed over my chest and a pouted look on my face. Once the door was opened he turned to me and chuckled. "See ya" He said with a wave. I gasped as he walked to the steps of my apartment.

"No hug?!" I called out after him. He laughed and waved before walking down the steps and out of site. I felt an immediate weight on my heart but I frowned and locked the front door before disappearing into my room.

The next couple of days were like hell. I would text him and he would either text back once, or not at all. I was becoming worried more and more each day. He gave me the response of; 'I'm not one for texting and calling just because.' That explained a lot but I still was feeling un-easy about the whole thing and I had every right to...I think.

It was a few days later when it happened. I was leaving work I believe and I had texted him, asking if he could come over tonight. His response is what brought all my fears into reality. He responded with 'I think we should stop talking' and I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I didn't know how to respond. I kept telling myself not to freak out because he doesn't seem like the type of person to like drama. I took a deep breath and this was the conversation.

"What do you mean? Why?"

"Sandwiches"

"Sandwiches? Are you serious right now?"

"I like a woman with more dominance. "

"I felt like I was used..."

"You kind of were. But at lease we gave it a try :) "

I didn't know how to react. I tried not crying in front of everyone as I walked to the back to grab my things out of my locker. I shoved my phone in my vest pocket and stared at the floor so none of my co-workers could see my watery eyes. I didn't want them to ask me; 'Are you okay?' because every time I am upset, and someone asks that, I always break down. I managed to get by unnoticed though and left without drawing un-needed attention. As I started my car and drove that 5 minutes to my place, it felt like the longest 5 minutes of my life because all I wanted to do was cry but I didn't know why. I only met the guy about a month ago and for it to take such a toll on me was ridiculous.

As I pulled into my driveway I parked the car and took the phone out of my pocket. I decided that I wouldn't freak out and go crazy on him. That would just draw him away even more so. I read my text over and over before sending and then even after it was a confirmed send, I read it again; 'Alright...I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you. Hope you find what you're looking for'. and with that I shook it off and called it a day