It has been exactly twenty days since Dean and I made our bet in the park. He was a complete gentleman when he dropped me off at the apartment, just like he was during every coffee, study and dinner date since then. He kept his word when he said he would make it his mission to help me have fun and actually act like a college student. We've gone hiking, spent the day at the beach, went roller blading near the pier, he's made the last couple weeks the best since I started school nearly three years ago.
All this time spent together has made me really edgy though. We hold hands, he'll wrap his arm around my shoulder, he finds ways to drive me crazy but he never breaks the rules. My rules. My stupid, impulsive, completely pointless rules. He's really trying to win this bet, and I'm resenting ever having come up with this stupid idea in the first place. Now I understand the devious look on his face when he heard my terms. I am losing my mind. He knew this would drive me ten times as crazy as it would him because my no touching exile was self-imposed. He has something to prove. I'm just torturing myself.
Kelsey has taken every opportunity to remind me how much I have completely and utterly screwed myself. Including now, while we're sunbathing on the roof of our apartment. It may be mid-November but it's still a warm 75 degrees today in good old smoggy L.A.
"You do realize that by the time Thanksgiving break rolls around you are going to be so totally pent up that you'll probably jump him on the five hour drive up the coast." She flips onto her back on the folding lounge chair, lifting her sunglasses so that she can see my reaction to her latest epiphany.
"Kels, I swear, if you mention the damn bet one more time I'm going to push you off this roof."
"Come on Jessie! He has been a total saint for almost two weeks and you're having sex dreams about him while you're daydreaming in class."
"Thank you for reminding me why I should never tell you anything, ever again!" I stand up and start folding my chair.
"Oh stop, I'm just trying to get you to admit that you screwed up. This little bet is worse on you than it is on him." She stands and grabs her chair as well, then we make our way down the emergency stairwell to our floor.
"Yes, okay? Yes, this is killing me! And the worst part is it doesn't seem to be affecting him in the least. Would it hurt him to admit that he's dying for the next four days to go by as badly as I am? It doesn't even phase him. Yet here I am, I can't even hold his hand without my heart racing. I'm pathetic." I groan as we round the corner to our hallway.
"You know, you could always turn up the heat," Kelsey suggests.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, make him realize what he's missing. You know, flash some skin, add some visual stimulation to make up for the lack of physical contact. Make him miss you as much as you miss him, physically speaking. I guarantee it'll have him losing that bet before the weekend is over, then you're off the hook."
"That could work. But…what if I don't really want to be let off the hook?" I bite my lip waiting for Kelsey's reaction to my question.
"Wait a minute, does this mean what I think it means?" She swings the door open before exclaiming, "Is Jessica Maddox finally ready to lose her virginity?!"
I start laughing until I round the doorway and see Jamie and Dean sitting on the couch with playing cards in their hands, both sets of eyes now glued to my face.
I always thought it was just a fancy bit of imagery when writers would talk about the blood draining from a character's face. I'm here to tell you, it's a real thing. I feel it right now. I must be white as a sheet, and I know I haven't blinked in the last ten seconds. Not since Kelsey dropped the V-bomb and Dean's eyes found mine. The silence is absolutely deafening. Of course, my dear, dear friend Kelsey is the first to break it.
"Awkward…" She mumbles as she drops her bag on the floor and flops onto the recliner.
I can't even tear my eyes away from his to glare at her, though I would love to right about now. I finally manage to blink and it's at that point that my flight instinct kicks in. It's a new feeling for me since I'm used to the fighting impulse taking over, but there is nothing I would rather do right now than go hide in my room. So I do.
I lean my lounge chair against the wall and speed walk to my bedroom, close the door behind me and slide down until my butt hits the floor. I bring my knees up, wrap my arms around my legs and rest my forehead against them. He probably thinks I'm some frigid, neurotic, head-case. I have no clue how to look him in the eye again. The way he just stared after Kelsey outed me… He'll probably run out of here and forget all about the trip, the bet, and the almost twenty-two year old virgin. He'll go find a girl with enough experience that she won't freak out at the thought of being alone with him and impose a three week hiatus on all things physical. He'll—
"Jessie?"
Apparently he'll come knock on my bedroom door.
"Yeah?" I don't lift my head. I'm too embarrassed.
"Please, can I come in?" I can't make out the intonation of his voice. It could be pity, hell it could be humor. I guess the only way I'll know for sure is to suck it up and let him in.
"Hold on." I stand slowly and walk to the foot of my bed before flopping onto my stomach, face buried in the comforter. "Come in," my muffled voice is just barely audible.
I hear the door open and the quiet click as he shuts it behind him, the shuffle of his feet as he walks across the room. I feel the dip of the bed when he takes a seat beside me. Then, nothing. He doesn't say or do anything for what feels like an eternity. In reality it's probably just under a minute. My first instinct is to roll off the bed and demand he say whatever it is he's planning to say, then get out. Luckily my humiliation keeps me planted face down on the bed. I do turn my head slightly and peek one eye open to assess the situation.
Dean is sitting with his back against my headboard, arms crossed tightly over his chest, head leaning back with his eyes closed and the corner of his bottom lip is caught between his teeth. I can't make heads or tails of his body language. He chooses that moment to open his eyes and catch me peering up at him.
"You got some color today." He unfolds his arms and drags one finger down the curve of my nose and across the apple of my cheek, "Right here, you're a little red."
I shudder at his touch and squeeze my eyes shut before I roll over so I'm looking straight up at the ceiling and not at him. The silence returns.
"Do you want me to go?" He asks out of nowhere.
I finally decide to speak, "Do you want to go?"
"Why would I want to go?" He slides down until he's laying beside me, shoulder to shoulder, staring at the ceiling.
"Aren't you mad?"
"Why would I be mad?"
"Are you ever going to answer my questions instead of asking more questions?"
"Are you going to tell me why you think I should be mad right now?"
"You're so frustrating!" I rub my hands over my face and I can feel the slight burn he was referring to now.
I feel his weight shift next to me. He turns onto his side and pulls my hands away from my face. "Tell me Jess."
I swallow deeply before I look him in the eyes. He doesn't look angry, nor does he look like he's freaked out. He looks…intrigued.
"I don't know. I just thought you'd be pissed that I didn't tell you."
"I'm sure you would've told me when you were ready. It's not like I asked and you lied about it, it just didn't come up." He rests his hand on my stomach and it jumps involuntarily at his touch.
"I just…there hasn't been anyone that I really wanted to…do that with before."
His eyes blaze before he's able to control himself and I know he's caught on to what I'm saying. No one, before you. I can see him visibly forcing himself to focus.
"I get it. I do. And I hope you don't feel like me asking you to go on this trip with me is pressuring you to make a decision you're not ready to make. Honestly, I just want to spend time with you. I want to see you happy. I love watching you let go and relax. These past few weeks have been some of the best for me and it's because I got to spend that time helping you loosen up and forget about whatever it is that takes you deep into that beautiful head of yours all the time."
I look back up at the ceiling because I'm afraid he'll see right through me to what has really been occupying my mind lately. I know I have to tell him, especially if we go away together. I'm just not ready yet. Not now.
"I know you wouldn't pressure me, and I really have been having a lot of fun with you." I toy with my hands against my stomach because I desperately want to change the subject but don't know how.
"So does that mean you're going to give up this whole bet and just agree to come with me?" He lifts my chin with his index finger and nudges me until I'm looking at him again. I appreciate him lightening the mood and I make the quick decision to take advantage of the change in our conversation's tone.
"I never welsh on a bet. Sorry." I raise my eyebrow and smile at him before rolling off the bed. Thinking about what Kelsey said on our way back down to the apartment, I decide there's no better way to distract him and attempt to win the bet at the same time. Especially now that I know what I want if I win.
"So, what are your plans for tonight?" I ask as I head towards the closet.
Dean is still laying on the bed, his hands behind his head as he watches me. "Well, I hadn't planned on anything really. Why, what'd you have in mind?"
I make the decision and act before I can chicken out. I pull a short, electric blue dress off a hanger and toss it on the foot of the bed before pulling my oversized cover-up shirt over my head and dropping it on the floor leaving me in just my bikini top and a tiny pair of shorts. Turning to retrieve a pair of black stilettos from the closet, I try to act as nonchalant as possible.
"Well Kelsey and I were talking about checking out Elevate on Wilshire. She's in a dancing mood." I place the shoes on the floor in front of the bed before pulling the elastic from my hair and letting it tumble around my shoulders. "She's asking Paul to drive, so you wouldn't have to be designated driver tonight."
I glance up and see Dean's eyes are following my every move. Good, my plan is working. Maybe I can make him feel marginally as hot and bothered as I've been these last two weeks. I decide to turn it up a little just for good measure.
"So what do you think? Want to go 'bust a move' with us?" I laugh and snag the dress before stepping halfway into the closet, my back facing him. I reach behind my neck and pull the string before doing the same to the one across my back. I let the top fall to the floor and bring the dress over my head. It's at that point when I realize Dean never answered me. After pulling the dress down, I start to turn and see why he hasn't spoken when I feel his body press against my back, his hands rest on my hips, his lips at my ear.
"I know what you're trying to do." His voice is husky and the heat from his breath sends a shiver down my spine.
I lean back and it's evident that he is most definitely just as affected as I am right now. Mission accomplished. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh you don't?" His fingers dig into my hips and he shifts me so that I'm pressed right up against him. I melt into him and my head falls back against his shoulder.
"Not a clue," I whisper.
He slides his hands from my hips to my stomach and slowly up my abdomen, resting just under my breasts. I feel like I'm going to combust. "You're trying to make me lose the bet. But it won't work. Wanna know why?"
"Mmm…" I moan because that's the only sound I'm capable of producing right now.
"Because when I win, I won't have to worry about your brother in the other room the next time I have you in this position." His lips brush against my neck, just grazing, barely even touching, not enough to qualify a loss. My knees go weak and I clutch at his arms wrapped around me, the only things keeping me on my feet. "And to answer your question, I'd love to go 'bust a move' with you tonight."
He lets me go and I have to clutch at either side of the closet doorjamb to keep myself upright. I don't turn to look at him, too turned on to resist jumping him and losing the bet for myself.
"I'll be back with Paul to pick you both up in an hour."
"Dean," I swallow to keep my voice from trembling, "don't forget to dress up, wouldn't want you to have to wait outside because you wore the wrong shoes." I turn my head and gaze at him out of the corner of my eye.
He laughs and shakes his head, "Don't worry, I think I can manage."