AN: See previous disclaimer...

Well, it's been ages since I've posted a chapter to this story. I lost my way for a while and motivation to write however I seem to have found my way back home again.

I hope you enjoy the next turn in the story assuming you're still around...

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I can't wait to see you all think...

~~~ "I'm Never Alone, I'm Alone All the Time" ~~~

* Chapter Thirty-Nine

Peyton checked her smart phone for the time of day once again. 'Damn' she muttered to herself noting it was only five minutes later than the last time she'd checked. She slowly closed her eyes and let the heels of her hands rub her eyes. Exhaustion had set in hours ago. A slow breathe escaped her lips, a breathe she felt like she'd been holding since Haley had left the studio the night before and after seeing the physical altercation that had taken place in her very office. She'd felt completely confident Haley would make the smart decision when she dropped the ultimatum bomb on her. It wasn't until Nathan Scott showed up at her office that she began to doubt her control over Haley. The fire and emotion she saw exchange between Dan and Nathan was something she'd never witnessed before. Something she didn't anticipate happening.

Nathan had been an assertive and forceful person at the hospital demanding he had no intention of leaving Haley's side after her accident. Peyton was taken aback slightly by his devotion to Haley and it was the first chance she'd really stopped to see how much he truly loved her back. The very thought haunting Peyton all morning was if the love between the two of them was worth it to Haley to walk away from her entire professional music career.

Peyton let out another breathe as she opened her eyes before she picked up her smartphone once more. Within a few seconds, her finger tapped the screen as she checked her gossip news sources one by one to check to see if any news had broken about Haley or Nathan for that matter. Once she opened her third site, Nathan Scott's name was the leading headline. She quickly read over the story announcing a breach of contract that had been made by Dan Scott and included Nathan's new agent and management team.

"He really did it!" Peyton declared to herself somewhat surprised after she finished the article. One thing she knew for sure, Dan Scott was experiencing something he'd never before. Dan Scott had officially lost all control and contact with his son. Peyton paused for a moment with sudden panic if Dan Scott would come after her once more for revenge.

His eyes opened slowly as he caught the small sliver of sunlight creeping in between the drawn shades in his living room. It was the only light in the room and in his life for that matter now. The moment he'd gotten home he reached out to the one source of comfort he knew had never failed him yet. It had always been there for him and given him everything he needed no questions asked. He brought the nearly empty bottle to his lips and finished off the remaining contents in one swig. Hours earlier he'd felt his throat warm after each sip as the alcohol coated all the way down but now he felt nothing. He was officially numb. The empty bottle hung in his hand as he continued to replay the last 24 hours over again in his head. He still couldn't believe everything that had happened and how he'd let it get this far. This wasn't like him or in his nature. Out of nowhere, he flung the bottle against the wall across the room suddenly realizing he was now truly alone and it was all by his own doing. No amount of money could undo this and he knew in that moment he'd lost Nathan forever. Dan Scott was truly alone.

Lucas Roe wasn't surprised when he received a text message early in the morning from Nathan asking if he could come over. Judging from how the evening had unfolded the night before, he knew his best friend would be processing a life changing event today. The only question that remained was if it was one event or two Nathan needed to handle emotionally. Lucas had quickly replied to Nathan's text trying to get an idea of which scenario to expect but received nothing in response. Lucas saw Nathan's SUV blaze into the driveway with speed on his security camera and then made his way from his office to the front door. He pulled the door open just as Nathan shut his car door and made it to the walk away.

"Morning Nate…" Lucas said as he watched Nathan pull his aviator sunglasses off and hook them on the front of his t-shirt. He caught a glimpse of Nathan's eyes and couldn't but notice an empty dark hue to them.

"Hey." Was all Nathan offered as he made his way through the open door way.

"Are you hungry? I can whip up something to eat if you want or we could go shoot some hoops instead?" Lucas offered hoping he'd be able to gauge quickly just how to help Nathan based on his response. How he wished Brooke was home already to help him? She was on her way home from the LAX airport after flying all night from Paris. Lucas had filled her in on what happened between Dan and Nathan when she'd called after her fashion show the night before. He was just glad he'd been able to briefly speak with her before she boarded her flight so she didn't walk into the current situation blind.

"I'm not hungry."

Lucas eyed Nathan again and took in his emotionless face.

"OK, let's go out back to the court." Lucas decided for the both of them and took off towards the backdoor hoping Nathan would follow. He nodded silently to himself when he heard confirmation of Nathan's footsteps behind him as they made their way down the long hall way.

Minutes later, the two old friends took turns taking shots without exchanging a word. The only sound was the basketball pounding on the court and the tinging sound each time it bounced off the rim. Nathan had always been a better basketball player than Lucas from the very beginning. Lucas could only recall one time when his shooting average per game was higher than Nathan's. Nathan's childhood dog had run away when they were around 10 years old and it completely devastated him. Nike, Nathan's yellow lab mix had been his constant companion, protector and friend for as long as he could remember. They went everywhere together. Nathan had found out minutes before tipoff that Dan had actually dropped the dog off at the pound because Nike had dug a hole in his mother flower garden. Lucas had overheard Dan calling Nathan a baby when he started crying about his dog being gone. Minutes later Nathan ran out on the court and played like crap for the entire game.

Lucas watched as Nathan's 6th attempt for a basket bounced off the rim and back to his own hands. Lucas caught the ball in his hands and then looked over at Nathan.

"Come on Nate, talk to me man. I haven't seen you play this bad since we were little kids. I know something's going on when I make more baskets than you do. What happened with Haley after I dropped out off last night?" Lucas asked. His eyes remained fixed on Nathan until he finally looked back at him.

Nathan took a deep breath and let his shoulder rise and fall as he exhaled, emptying his lungs entirely. It felt as though he'd been holding his breathe since he told Haley to choose her career over being with him.

"The news of my management change hit the press this morning. Dan has probably received a certified copy of everything by now. So it's officially over between us." Nathan stated completely ignoring Lucas' previous question and changed the subject.

Lucas acknowledged with a nod in response to Nathan before he added, "Long time coming if you ask me. Brooke nearly broke my ear drum when I told her you finally did it last night."

Nathan felt his heart soften a bit as he thought about Brooke.

"When does she get home?" Nathan asked.

Lucas pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time before he answered, "Any time now I suppose."

Nathan lifted his hands up signaling to Lucas to pass him the basketball. He caught it with ease and threw it towards the basket once more. The tinging sound felt like a knife to his gut as he watched the ball bounce off and right back at him.

"Good thing you've already secured your new representation because if he saw you playing like this, he'd run for the door. Maybe he'd want to sign me instead." Lucas joked hoping he'd get Nathan talking.

Nathan cracked a small smile and he fired back, "Shut up!"

He swiftly passed the ball to Lucas who shot for a basket once he had the ball in his hands. Ting.

"Haha, who's signing who again?" Nathan joked and he moved to grab the ball bouncing below the net.

"Dude, that was literally the first basket I've missed! You're the professional here not me. At least I have an excuse for sucking." Lucas exclaimed trying to joke back.

Nathan bounced the ball a few times to his side only to secure it against his hip after he listened to Lucas. He had a point. What excuse did he have for sucking at the one thing he was deemed to be a professional at? Lucas immediately took note of Nathan's mood shift and instantly felt guilty for his last remark.

"Nate, look I'm sorry about that I didn't mean to….."

Nathan rubbed the back of his head in frustration while he let out a long sigh.

"It's cool man." Nathan interjected before he allowed Lucas to continue.

"So, this is where you both are? Here I wandered all around the house calling out for Lucas when I should have known better that he'd be out here with you. Something's never change." Brooke called out shaking her head slightly as she made her way out of the house and on to the basketball court.

Lucas and Nathan's heads turned in the direction of the voice that startled both of them.

"Hey Pretty Girl!" Lucas exclaimed. He greeted Brooke with a quick peck and then pulled her body close to his.

"Thank God you're home. He's a mess and I don't know what to do." Lucas whispered into her ear as he held her close.

Brooke caught Lucas' eyes for a moment confirming she'd understood what he said. Brooke headed over to greet Nathan with a hug.

"So how are you really doing Scott?" She questioned him as she wrapped her arms around his athletic torso.

A small sigh escaped Nathan's mouth before he replied, "I've been better." His eyes connected with hers and he knew it was all over from there. He was about to confide in his oldest friends no matter how hard he tried to fight it. In the end it was probably for the best.

"Come on Nate, what happened between you and Haley?" Brooke asked. She held his gaze and felt his face start to break a little. She watched his shoulder rise and fall as he took a deep breath and then he let it out in preparation.

Nathan recalled the conversation that had occurred between Haley and him earlier that morning. The more he spoke to further into detail he felt himself go and it was like he was reliving it once again.

When he stepped into the house, he knew it would only be a matter of moments before he'd hear her small footsteps follow. He prayed she wouldn't push back and make the whole situation harder then it needed to be.

"Nathan! How can you just walk away from everything without a fight? I thought I meant more to you than this. Apparently just not enough then." She yelled after him until she watched his body halt in place.

He whipped around and replied, "Are you really going to go there? How could you even say that? You know you mean something to me Haley especially after everything that's happened between us and then with your accident."

Her eyes widened in response to his words, "So what was that pity or guilt over it when you dropped everything to run to my bedside?"

Nathan noticed the tears that has escaped her eyes and fell down her cheeks. Her voice was beginning to falter and crack as she spoke to him. He had done everything he could to avoid her getting hurting her worse in this situation. He knew it was impossible for her to walk away unharmed after everything that had happened with Peyton, the label, Damien and then him. He did the only thing he could think of to save her from hurting the people she loved. He would hurt her first. He would resort to his old ways of dealing with emotion.

Brooke had remained surprisingly quiet as Nathan recalled the information from his altercation with Haley. Finally when he paused long enough to signal he was ready for a response did she decide it was clear to speak.

"Nathan, you are being an idiot if you're really going to push Haley away after everything you both have fought through to be together! What the hell is wrong with you? Haley is perfect for you and you know it. Otherwise you wouldn't have gone running for the hills." Brooke lectured without taking her peering eyes off of Nathan.

"Technically I didn't run to the hills, you guys sorta live in the canyon." Nathan fired back in a last ditch effort to avoid processing further emotions.

Brooke stuck her index finger out at him and poked his chest. "Don't you start with me about technicalities unless you're really ready to hear the ugly truth! Nathan you have to stop running away and trying to save others from getting hurt. You can't prevent it from happening all the time. But the important part is sticking around to pick up those you love when they need it the most. You deserve more."

*Fast forward 4 ½ months after Nathan and Haley's break up

The Fire Pistols had been on tour in Europe and finding great success. Peyton was pleased her obedient lead singer was back and focused on what was important. When Haley went back to Peyton's office to confirm Nathan was history and her future was with the band, Peyton was thrilled. She knew the band would make a killing on their next tour abroad not to mention her own professional advancement in the works. The only area she was forced to compromise with was Haley's insistence for keeping the terms of her "redefined" motivation to put the band first from the rest of The Fire Pistols. Haley had managed to keep the true circumstances of her break up from Nathan from everyone close to her. Even Chris and her sister Quinn.

Quinn and Chris had made every attempt to get her to finally open up and process her emotions but she blatantly refused to do so. In fact, she demanded the topic of Nathan Scott never be mentioned again. Haley James the workaholic had reemerged with a few new characteristics. Sure, night after night she took her place at center stage and gave everything she had into the show. She had become an expert at playing the "part" of Haley James when in front of thousands. She took center stage and it was as if a someone had flipped a switch. It was the quiet time in between gigs when the static in her head became too loud for her to even avoid. She had been able to fill her time on the tour bus between sleeping and recovering from the previous night's events fairly well. Haley continued to remain focused on performing the set list dictated by Peyton Sawyer and didn't bother to question it anymore. She did as Peyton said in an effort to avoid her all together. At least with being overseas, Peyton was unable to join mid tour for a sneak attack like she'd had a history of doing so in the States.

The time came when Quinn decided to walk away from the band to focus on the remainder of her pregnancy. Haley knew it was coming when Quinn wouldn't be able to travel any longer and was secretly glad it had finally arrived. She loved her sister dearly but knew once Quinn's critical eye was gone, there would only be one person watching her every move on tour. Chris Keller. He'd made a promise to Quinn before she disbanded from The Fire Pistols that he would look after Haley during this difficult time and make sure she didn't do anything crazy.

The new keyboardist managed to fit in well with the rest of the band without much time or effort. Tyler Richmond was a few years older than Walker but they got along well from the get go. Haley welcomed the new member to the band under Peyton's strict orders and was kind enough to make an effort with Tyler's wife when he joined the tour. Another male prospect was the last thing Peyton Sawyer needed to do damage control with in Haley's life. The best quality of the newest member of The Fire Pistols was his desire to work hard and play hard.

Once Quinn had left the tour, Haley decided to go out more after shows with the guys. She'd partied with Chris and Walker countless times before but justified her new efforts in making sure Tyler felt a true part of the band. If that meant, doing a few shots before taking the stage and hitting up a techno club afterwards so be it. Anything she could use to numb herself she was willing to do.

Chris watched Haley move about her hotel room as she finished getting ready to go out. They'd walked off stage nearly two hours earlier and had come back to the hotel to for her to change her clothes before going out. He studied her closely as she smoothed out her hair that now hung lust less over her shoulders. She moved to freshen up her makeup and dabbed concealer underneath her eyes with hope the darkness would fade. Chris couldn't lie to himself any longer. He'd noticed the changes in Haley since they embarked on this leg of the world tour. Haley had been sleeping less and less while they were on tour. He'd watch her retreat to her bunk of the bus but from the look of her face when she emerged again, she'd barely caught a few winks. The spark in her eye seemed faded and it was as if she was a robot just going through the motions dictated by the puppet master, Peyton Sawyer. No matter how hard he begged her months ago, Haley refused to tell him details about the change to her contract with Peyton nor would she explain the change in her behavior. Chris wasn't stupid. He knew it all had to do with Nathan Scott.

Haley dug down to the bottom of her suitcase and pulled out a cotton black sleeveless top.

"I just want to change my shirt and then I'm outta here. You sure you don't wanna come out us." She called to Chris as she headed toward the bathroom. She pushed the door with her elbow not noticing it didn't end up latching closed.

"I'm just not really feeling it tonight." Chris called out to her as he glanced down at his phone once more to check the time. He heard a rustling noise and glanced towards the door. Just then it opened up and Haley emerged ready to go. Chris took in the image before him and couldn't help but notice the way Haley's clothing hung on her tiny frame looser than they had once before. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't noticed it before but wasn't sure what he could do about it.

Haley noticed Chris staring at her, "What's wrong? Does this look bad?" she asked looking down at her clothes. All he could do was shake his head no.

"Great then I'm outta here." Haley declared as she shoved her passport into a small purse that she then placed over her head to secure it on her shoulder.

"Don't you wanna ditch Walker and Tyler tonight and stay in with me instead. We could order some room service and watch a movie tonight instead. We haven't done that in forever." Chris suggested once last time trying to convince her. Haley shook her head and took a step closer to Chris. She ruffled his hair before she replied, "You better get to bed then old man!"

"Seriously Hales, don't go to the club with them tonight. You've been hitting it hard lately and I think you should take it easy for a while. Take the night off." Chris said this time the tone of his voice more serious.

Haley looked back at him a bit surprised. "Whatever Keller, it's not like you haven't gone out drinking night after night before. It's no big deal."

Chris reached out and touched Haley's arm to slow her from making it to the door. "Yeah but there's a difference between going out to have fun with your friends and going out to drink your sorrows away."

"Stay out of it Chris! Just leave it alone." She snapped back.

"No I'm not gonna do that anymore. This has got to stop Hales, you are nearly exhausted from the tour schedule and you barely sleep and eat anymore. You don't seem like yourself. You're wasting away and drinking night after night can't be good for you. You need to stop this!" Chris shot back.

"You know what, this is who I am! I'm doing what I'm supposed to do and fulfilling my obligation to this band. You need to butt out of stuff you don't understand. I'm just fine! " Haley shouted back in anger.

"James, you are so far from fine you can't even see how bad it is. You know, Quinn was right to ask me to look after you because you haven't been the same since you and….."

"Don't even say it Chris!" Haley warned as she pointed her finger at him.

"Nathan….There I said it. I said his name and the world didn't come falling down. Something changed when you two broke up. Something inside of you Haley and I don't understand why you refuse to talk about what happened. It's like your spirit broke. You can't keep this in anymore, it's not good for you." Chris said as he tried to reason with his old friend.

Haley's eyes slammed shut as she felt all the air sucked right from her lungs. She hadn't heard someone speak his name in weeks. She struggled inside while her heart skipped a beat but then dropped into her stomach again. She was surprised to feel anything at all after all the efforts she'd made to keep from feeling any emotion all together.

"It's not up to you to decide what's good for me or not. This has nothing to do with "him". As far as I'm concerned this conversation is over with, don't be here when I get back tonight. Just leave me alone and mind your own business!" Haley shouted at him and then let the door slam shut after she stormed out.

Please leave me a review and let me know what you think...

GRemy