Well, hello there. It has been far to long since I've posted a chapter. I have been struggling with writer's block with how I wanted to wrap this story up and how I eventually want the ending to be. I'm sure I've lost so many readers with my inability to update on a regular basis. For anyone who has read this story...THANK YOU!
This story deserves an amazing ending and I'm trying to give it one. Naley deserves the best.
Thank you again for reading and sticking with me.
Hope you like this..
~~~ "I'm Never Alone, I'm Alone All the Time" ~~~
* Chapter Forty-Two*
Nathan felt a jolt of energy run through his body wakening every ounce of his being that had been dormant for months. He couldn't believe the sound he'd just heard. A voice that sounded like heaven to his ears. He hadn't realized how much he missed. How much he'd longed to hear her voice again. How much his heart literally ached when he'd heard her once again fill his ears.
He opened his mouth to speak but found himself unable to utter a single word. Could this be happening? Was it real? His mind was racing a million miles per hour and yet silence….
"Nathan …"
And there it was. She'd spoken his name and yet he couldn't say anything in return.
After a few moments, she softly spoke again. "Nathan, uhhhh are you still there?"
Her words jolted him out of his trance and thrust him back into reality. Nathan rubbed his hand over his buzzed hair as he finally answered, "Yeah, I'm here."
"I uhh I saw the game footage and uhhh tttthe accident on the court…..and I was just….I don't know what I'm doing…uhh I wanted to know….uhh…ummm…are you doing ok?" Haley finally managed to say secretly feeling like an idiot for her inability to form a complete sentence.
Nathan was taken aback by her request for he'd not been expecting to hear that or her for that matter when he answered the phone.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Nothing a little rest, ice and crutches for a few days won't fix." Nathan finally managed to say noting the tone of his voice sounded hesitant.
Haley nodded to herself as she sat in her empty hotel room with only the glow of the television illuminating the darkened room. Her stomach had been churning with uncertainty until he admitted the truth about how he was. She wasn't sure why she even called to begin with. The moment she'd seen the television footage, her body went into autopilot. Before she'd known what she'd done, she heard his voice on the other end of her phone.
"That's good. From what I saw on TV it looked really bad." She added sincerely.
Nathan felt a slight grin creep across his mouth as she spoke. It had been ages since he'd felt his heart beat again. He wasn't even sure it was still in there. All of this felt like a dream.
"Oh it wasn't that bad really. I'm sure the way the network pieced together the replay made it look at lot worse. I'll be alright."
"I'm glad." Was all she could manage to say at that moment. She still couldn't figure out how she'd let herself even call him in the first place.
Silence hung between the two once more again until Nathan broke it this time.
"Uhh how's everything going with you?" he asked. He'd be lying if he claimed to know nothing about what The Fire Pistols had been up to or their success. He'd had to have been living under a rock to miss the tabloid stories, media coverage or photographs that had been circulating. He'd always tried his best to ignore what he could but some had seeped into his mind. He couldn't help but think of that last photograph he'd seen of Haley. Her face looked tired and worn out while her body looked much frailer than the last time he'd seen her. But mostly he saw her eyes looked empty.
"I'm doing fine." Haley replied as she'd been doing for months now anytime someone had inquired how she was doing. She'd grown accustomed to telling people exactly what they wanted to hear or what she was told to say. But Nathan Scott was something different entirely. He'd been able to see through all her walls, break them down and rock her to her core. She held her breathe as she waited to see if he'd accept her answer.
She heard him quickly suck in his breath a habit she knew he did when he wasn't accepting of information. She felt her face wince slightly as she silently prayed to herself that he wouldn't reply with criticism or judgment like so many other people in her life did on a regular basis.
"Is that so? I see you've had a boost in your ego then…..going around telling people you're doing all fine and shit." Nathan replied as a smile crept over his lips. He felt his stomach jump as he waited for her response. Instantly he began to panic that he'd upset her and said the wrong thing. He hadn't felt this alive in the last 5 months and in a second it could be ripped away once again.
An angelic giggle crept into his ears before he finally heard her speak again, "Hey now! I made no such assumption what so ever. All I did was simply answer your question Scott." She felt her smile reach her eyes the moment his laughter mixed with hers again. God, it felt good!
It happened so fast before either of them realized it was even going on. They continued with friendly banter back and forth failing to notice the time lapse until Nathan unknowingly burst the bubble they had been in.
"God, I miss this Hales…" Nathan spoke softly unsure if it was indeed loud enough for her to even hear him.
Haley was instantly thrust back into reality when she heard the sudden change to his tone of voice. Haley found herself lost in her own thoughts and failed to respond causing Nathan to speak again.
"Where are you at right now anyhow?" he asked finally rattling Haley from herself hoping she wouldn't get hung up on what he'd just said. Maybe she didn't hear him after all.
"We uhh got to the hotel around 2am local time whatever time zone this is and my report time is about 40 minutes actually." She answered tiredly.
"Is it press junket or a show?" He asked quickly.
Haley shifted her body in the bed where she'd been laying for nearly the last hour or so. She hadn't neglected to notice the friendly banter they'd had back and forth with one another. Carrying on a banter type exchange had always come naturally for them. It felt familiar…all to familiar and she couldn't deny the emotions that had begun to pull at her heart once again.
"Nathan, I have to go. I'm glad you're going to be ok and that you're doing well. I'm sorry to have kept you so long." Haley rambled quickly.
"Hales wait! Are you just going to hang up like that? It's been good to talk to you. I never should have.." Nathan confessed in a panicked tone of voice. His eyes darted back and forth in disbelief of what he'd done.
Haley's voice shook again as she interrupted him, "Nathan, I can't do this. Good bye."
Nathan sat with his smartphone in his hand staring at her picture from his contact card in shock. She was gone, just like that again. His finger hovered over the call button wanting nothing more than to tap it and bring her voice back again.
Thousands of miles away, Haley James was doing the exact same thing. She wanted to take it back. Call him again and apologize for hanging up so fast. She was scared of letting herself feel again. She managed to shake herself back to reality and glanced at the time once more. She knew she had to get up and get ready for the day to make it on time. She quickly opened a text she'd received from Chris noting call had been pushed back 30 minutes and requested to have breakfast with her beforehand.
'OK, be ready in 10 minutes.' Haley typed back to Chris and then tossed her phone on the bed again. She hurried around her hotel room to change her clothes and freshen up.
Haley walked into the dining room of the hotel and found Walker and Chris already seated sipping on coffee. Slightly surprised as she'd thought it would just be her and Chris, she worked fast to recover by the time she arrived at the table to join them.
"Morning Hales, did you get some rest?" Walker asked as he took it upon himself to pour her a cup of coffee.
"Yeah a little bit. Thanks "She replied as she got settled in next to Walker. She picked up the creamer off the table and dumped a splash into her cup.
"I took it upon myself to order a fruit platter and some extra crispy bacon. I figured that was a safe bet until you figured out what else you might want for breakfast." Chris said as he too looked over the menu. Secretly he hoped she would eat more than just the fruit and bacon. He had tried his best to be respectful of her space and trust her but he'd have to be blind not to notice how much weight she'd lost.
Haley smiled as she thanked him for being so thoughtful. In the meantime, the fruit and bacon came out right before they placed their entrée order from the server. Haley dished up a couple pieces of fruit and two stripes of bacon on her plate and slowly took a bite.
"So I thought this might be a good time to have a little impromptu band meeting to just get on the same page about a few things." Chris declared out of nowhere knowing it was now or never. He connected eyes with Walker who offered up a slight head nod in agreement. Chris had never been one for being subtle.
Haley's eyes widened as she replied. "What about?" Slowly she looked up from her plate and let her eyes settle on Chris only. She dropped the strip of bacon from her fingers and wiped the grease on her napkin.
Chris swallowed hard as he prepared himself to have what he knew would no doubt be a difficult conversation with his best friend.
"Walker and I have been talking about our current situation and everything since the tour is about to end and we've come to an agreement." Chris started but was quickly cut off by Haley.
"What do you mean an agreement? What kind of agreement?" Haley fired right back. Instantly she felt her face get flushed as she stared Chris down.
Chris' eyes shot over to Walker for reassurance and was met with exactly that. Chris cleared his throat before he spoke again. "Hales, chill out and just listen. Will you please do that?"
Chris paused until he received a nod of agreement from Haley, "Walker and I were talking about the band and the direction it's currently going in. It's no secret things haven't been the same since Quinn left as well as how controlling Peyton and the label have become over everything we do and say and even play."
"I'm sure it will pass." Haley offered trying to fulfill her role as the optimistic, crowd pleaser she was supposed to be. She knew Peyton would rip her a new one if she didn't continue to portray the happy perfect lead singer of The Fire Pistols.
Walker interjected, "Maybe it shouldn't pass. Maybe this is a time when we need to all take a real hard look at what we want. Not what the fans want or what the label wants us to do but what do we want to do next."
Haley's eyebrow rose as she listened to Walker. She felt panic start to set in her body as she contemplated how much her best friend had shared with their fellow band mate about her situation.
"Are you suggesting we take a longer break or something?" Haley asked as her eyes darted between both men in her life quickly demanding an answer.
Chris shook his head and answered coyly, "Not exactly."
Haley brought her hands through her hair pulling in frustration. "It's too early for this Chris come on. Cut the bullshit!"
"Ok fine.." Chris started and began to recall his previous conversation with Walker about Haley's situation with Peyton and what had happened with her contract recently. Haley went through a mixture of emotion as she tried her best to sit and just listen. Chris took great care with how he delivered his explanation to Haley knowing how she'd respond to his news. She sat back in her chair and stared at them in disbelief.
"You guys this is fucking crazy and you know it! You mean to tell me that you're willing to just walk away from what we've worked so hard for. We've busted our asses and sacrificed everything to make it!" Haley exclaimed in shock of what she'd just heard.
"Hales, chill out and just listen." Walker cautioned hoping this wouldn't erupt to a major power struggle in the middle of the hotel restaurant.
"Chill out? It sure sounds like you guys have been doing a hell of a lot of talking between the two of you about this. Gee what else has been on the topic list?" Haley sneered back only to staring Chris down.
The two held each other's gaze and if looks could kill Chris would be dead.
"What now you're silent Chris? Run out of things to say so fast?"
Chris sighed and finally broke his silence, "Just stop Hales. I didn't break your confidence if that's what you're implying. Stop it and just listen please. "
Haley was rather surprised that Chris hadn't raised his voice to match hers like he normally would. He was calm..almost too calm for her liking. Once it was determined that Haley would comply with his request Chris began again.
"I went to Walker to have an honest conversation with my band mate. I wanted to see where his head was at and just have a heart to heart with him. Similar to the way we had a heart to heart. It's so simple for us to get lost in the motion of the music business with gigs, meetings and recordings happening all the time. It also gave me some time to think about everything myself too."
Haley felt her palms start to sweat and her anxiety intensified inside of her.
"So what is going on then?" She finally asked.
Chris opened his mouth to answer but Walker beat him to it, "We've done amazing things together in this band. From our first gig that all of seven people showed up to, the awful tour with that van that smelled no matter how many times we changed the air freshener, endless hours of rehearsal and recording our first album, hundreds of nights on the tour bus playing video games, watching movies, playing guitar hero. They've all made us a family. The four of us are a family. You and Quinn legitimately a family but the rest of us…we're a family. And it just feels like it's time for us to close this chapter and branch out on our own."
There it was. It couldn't be taken back now. Chris studied Haley's expression but mostly her eyes. They were the windows to her soul and would tell him everything he needed to know. He loved her like a sister and only wanted the best for her. He'd be lying to himself if he didn't take a hard look at what the near future would hold for The Fire Pistols if they continued down the road they were currently on.
"What about you?" Haley asked looking at Chris now. She felt her eyes fill with tears and wanted to hold them back praying she could.
"I think it's time for us to all move on. It just feels right for me. But most importantly all of us." Chris answered honestly.
Haley sat for a moment and let their words sink in. All this time she'd been worried about letting the band down if she hadn't given into Peyton's demands. So she kept moving forward because it was the right thing to do. Maybe it really was time to do the right thing for herself instead.
She took a deep breath and then said, "Then it's OK. You guys are right." A small tear managed to escape from her right eye and rolled down her cheek.
"Hey now! Keller will not stand for you to get sappy over this ok? We have the last bit of this tour to do and if we're going out, then we best go out in style!" Chris said somehow managing to get a laugh out of Haley and Walker.
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