Holy cow remember me?! I know it's been forever since I've posted on here. Suffering through severe writer's block, a major health crisis with my husband that has been all too consuming since December 2015. Let's just say, this girl has been stressed out but somehow I found my way back to writing and it's helping in ways I never knew it could. I'm not sure if there are folks out there still wanting to read anymore to this story but I agreed to finish is regardless.
If you are out there, please leave a review so I know you're there and let me know what you think.
Enjoy!
Thanks again for reading!
~~~ "I'm Never Alone, I'm Alone All the Time" ~~~
* Chapter Forty-Four*
Haley rubbed her temples with exhaustion as she sat back in the passenger seat while Chris drove. He saw her out of the corner of his eye and knew she felt exactly how he did.
"Well, I'm glad that's over at least hopefully now for sure." Chris said as he glanced over at Haley.
Haley placed her sunglasses back on and added, "I had to resist the urge to jump over the table and bitch slap Peyton's ugly face. I can't believe she would sit there all high and mighty like she didn't do anything illegal. God, she's such a bitch!" Chris laughed out loud agreeing with Haley as he snuck a quick glance at her before putting his eyes back on the road.
Chris was glad Haley was finally opening up and expressing her emotions about the band's break up and the situation with Peyton. He figured every time she allowed herself to be truly angry about it, the faster she would process it all and heal herself.
"I'm glad you kept yourself under control otherwise I wouldn't be driving to the car dealership but the city jail to post your bail for assault charges."
Haley giggled at his remark and then added, "Thanks again for coming with me to pick up my new car. I can't wait to finally have my own wheels again."
"You nervous at all about driving again? Do you think you're ready? I know you haven't driven much since you know….." Chris trailed off deciding against committing to the rest of his thought.
She contemplated to herself for a moment before she answered him, "Yeah….. I think I am. I mean, I have to be right. It's been long enough since my accident. I've got to do this!"
Chris pulled into the dealership and shifted the car into park quickly. They got out of the car and headed into the main building. Nearly 45 minutes later, Haley's new car was driven by a staff member and parked in front of the large front window. Chris followed Haley who was clutching her car keys in her hand as they walked out front.
"You sure you don't want me to follow you back to the house? I totally can if you need me to." Chris offered once more just in case she'd changed her mind. He wanted to make sure that after everything she'd been through she didn't feel alone.
Haley shook her head no and answered, "I appreciate it but I need to do this on my own. You've already done enough by coming with me to pick it up."
Chris pulled Haley into a hug and said, "Keller is just a call a way if you change your mind."
They said good bye and then Haley walked over to her new car. She opened the car door and climbed in with ease over the leather seat. She watched Chris start up his own car and pull out while she worked on making adjustments to her seat and mirrors before pushing the engine start button. The noise of the engine caused a rush of butterflies in her stomach but she quickly did her best to push them away. She took a deep breath and then was off.
Haley felt a sense of accomplishment as she arrived back at the house she'd been renting for almost a week now all by herself. She pulled into the attached garage and went inside. She headed right towards the kitchen and set her keys and purse down on the counter. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a can of diet coke knowing it would quench her thirst. The bubbles tickled her nose as she welcomed the first sip of the cool soft drink into her mouth. She heard the muffled sound of her phone from inside her purse indicating it was now ringing.
Haley found her phone and smiled when she saw it was Quinn calling.
"Hi Quinn!"
"Hey Hales, I'm just calling to double check your still free to watch Logan this afternoon for Clay and I. I meant to ask you when I saw you earlier at the meeting but I just forgot with everything else going on."
Haley smiled with excitement, "You bet I am. What time do you need me?"
"If you could be here by 3 that would be great?" Quinn questioned hoping her sister would readily agree.
Haley smiled and answered, "You got it! I just got home from picking up my new car which I was able to drive home all by myself I might add!"
Haley continued to beam as her sister offered positive feedback about how Haley combatting her anxiety about driving again head on.
"I've got a couple more things to do around here before I head out." Haley explained to her sister before they wrapped up their phone conversation.
She headed upstairs to quick change her clothes. She wanted to rid herself of any reminder of the business meeting she'd had earlier. She slipped on a pair of jeans and a cotton t-shirt her go to comfy outfit. She made her way into the bathroom to redo her hair. As she was brushing her long hair out, she heard her notification sound go off. Haley quickly brought her hair back on top of her head and secured the messy bun with a hair tie before she pulled her phone from her back pocket. She tapped on her inbox to see who the email she'd just received was from. She saw Peyton's email address right away once the inbox loaded on the screen and instantly felt annoyed. Haley didn't even bother opening the email. She simply deleted it and closed her email out before returning the phone to her pocket once more.
Her legal team encouraged her to cease any communication with Peyton Sawyer or the label until everything was settled. Haley had already taken efforts to have several known phone numbers from Red Bedroom Records blocked as well as Peyton's personal number from her phone but knew it would only be a matter of time before Peyton found a way to reach her once again. Until that time, she enjoyed the peace and quiet it somewhat gave her.
Quinn was happy to see Haley had arrived a good 20 minutes early from their agreed upon arrival time. Haley knew Quinn was excited to take Clay out for a birthday dinner and figured she might need a little extra time to get ready. From the moment Haley walked in the front door, Logan was in her arms. His bright eyes spent the first several minutes studying Haley's facial features and listening to her voice as she spoke to him.
"He likes it when you burp him after a bottle if you stand up instead of stay seated. If you can't get him to burp that way, you can walk him up and down the hall and that helps too. I set out three extra outfits in case he has a blow out or pukes all over himself. There is an extra package of diapers in the closet in Logan's room. There should be about 18 ounces of breast milk I expressed to get him by until we get back. Make sure you test the bottle before you give it to him…and" Quinn rambled only to finally be cut off by Haley.
"Seriously, Quinn it's time for you to go on your date! Logan and I will be just fine I promise. I will call or text you if I need anything." Haley said hoping she'd be able to offer some reassurance so her sister would settle down.
Clay laughed as he watched Quinn nod to herself before she went over to give Logan another kiss on the top of his head.
"OK I know I know….but if he gets fuss or whatever we will come straight home." She added before Clay walked over to her to put his hand on her shoulder. She took that as a sign to start walking towards the door. Haley held Logan's little hand up and pretended he was waving bye bye to his mom and dad too. Clay finally pushed Quinn out the door after she blew another kiss good bye to their son.
Haley shook her head about what her sister had just done and then looked down at her nephew in her arms.
"Your Mama is crazy I tell ya!" Haley said affectionately to the cooing baby.
Haley and Logan spent a good chunk of time lying together on a blanket she'd stretched out on the floor. She used the bobby pillow to help position him so he was getting some tummy time as well as time to stretch his arms and legs out. He seemed to enjoy holding anything in his little hands to would shake it as most babies do. Logan started to root around as if he was growing hungry which was right on time confirmed when Haley noted his last feeding with Quinn was a little over two hours ago. A few minutes later, she had a warmed bottle of breast milk ready before he had a melt down because of his hunger. Haley situated herself on the sofa and eased the bottle nipple into Logan's hungry mouth. She watched him drink his bottle and was amazed by how relaxed he soon became. Nearly 3 ounces of milk later, Logan was just about asleep in her arms after a few burps.
Taking great care, Haley eased herself off the sofa and walked over to the bassinet that had been set up in the living room. She slowly lowered Logan down and held her breath as his body adjusted to the new surroundings. His eyes fluttered open once he felt the loss of her body heat and Haley froze for a moment. Instinctually, she began to rub his tummy which resulted in him lowering his eyes lids once more. She continued to rub his tummy for a few more seconds before she decided he was back to sleep. She smiled to herself feeling a sense of accomplishment for being able to get Logan to sleep so easily.
Out of nowhere she heard her phone begin to ring rather loudly.
"Ahhh no no no" Haley whispered as she raced across the room to stop her phone from ringing where it sat on the arm rest of the couch. She'd left it there the last time her sister called to check on Logan. Haley picked up the phone and quickly answered it in haste while she continued to walk out of the living room and into the kitchen.
"Quinn everything is fine like I told you the last time you called! Seriously, enjoy your night out will ya…" Haley said in a hushed into the phone the moment she accepted the call.
"Oh..umm it's not Quinn."
Haley froze in place and pulled the phone from her ear to verify her mind wasn't playing tricks on her.
"It's Nathan." She heard him say as she brought the phone back to her ear. She stood there completely thrown off and was not sure what to say.
"Uhhh Haley you still there?" Nathan called out into the phone trying to not freak out himself. He'd just spent the last 10 minutes or so mustering up the courage to just call her already.
"Hales you ok?" He called out again feeling his voice waver with sudden uncertainty.
Finally she was jogged from her trance after hearing her nickname and answered, "Yeah I'm here. I uhh I just thought you were Quinn calling again."
Nathan smiled to himself and said, "No I'm definitely not Quinn."
There was an awkward silence that hung between the two of them once again. Similar to the last time they had spoken on the telephone after months of silence.
Nathan broke the silence as he found his voice again and said, "I uhh meant to call when I first heard about the breakup but I just… I don't know. I wasn't sure if I should or if you would even want to hear from me of all people all things considered."
Haley was surprised and rather taken back by Nathan's confession.
"Are you…are you doing alright with it all?" Nathan managed to ask finally.
She opened her mouth to respond but hesitated a few seconds.
"Yes, I'm ok." Haley answered only to realize after the words left her lips did she hear how stand offish they sounded.
"There's been some good days and bad days right now and a lot of change to get used to that's for sure. I'm trying…" She added hoping it would help soften her previous remark.
Nathan felt his heart warm as he listened to her speak.
"It's a lot to get used to considering I am basically unemployed now!" Haley added with a chuckle.
"I'm pretty sure you'll figure something out in no time and end up landing on your feet." He remarked returning the tone of voice she'd just used.
She smiled to herself and felt her heart begin to warm with his words and tone. They continued to chat back and forth and quickly fell back into a familiar rhythm together. Just like when she'd called after his accident on the court. Had all that time really passed between them?
"Hales?"
Haley closed her lips and let a small moan type sound out. Nathan paused taking a slow breath in before he spoke again.
"I'm glad you answered my call tonight after everything that happened between us." He said.
Haley replied, "Sure. Thanks for calling me to begin with."
There was so much she wanted to say to him about how she was feeling and how she felt about him in that very moment. But nothing would come up. Silence. Several miles away, Nathan was experiencing a similar struggle to find the right words. His head was spinning and if only he could get his thoughts about himself.
"Listen, Hales…I was wondering if you would want to…" Nathan finally managed to say only to be abruptly cut off by a piercing noise coming through the phone.
Haley turned her head towards the living room where she'd left Logan sleeping after his bottle.
"I'm sorry Nathan I've gotta go. Logan woke up and is screaming his head off." Haley said sounding rather frazzled all of the sudden.
Nathan rubbed the back of his head and tried his best to hide any frustration from coming out over the telephone for Haley to hear.
"Sure I understand, no problem." He managed to reply trying his best to sound more understanding than he felt. Truth be told he was annoyed as he had finally gotten the courage to take the call to the next level.
Another silence hung between them only the crying baby to be heard in the background. Feeling puzzled and confused, Nathan spoke again.
"Hales, you ok?"
Shaking herself back to reality she answered, "Yeah sorry about that…. I'm fine. Just a crying baby is all. Thanks again for calling Nathan."
"You said that already." Nathan said with a small smile.
She let out a laugh and then added, "Maybe I'll talk to you again soon."
The small smile turned into a toothy grin, "I'd like that. Talk to you later."
Haley said good bye and then quickly slipped her phone in her back pocket of her jeans as she walked towards the crying baby.
"I'm here buddy…shhhhh what's the matter?" She spoke in a soothing voice as she reached down and picked up the baby. She held the baby close and rubbed his back slowly before giving him a few pats. A fairly large burp came out and then the crying stopped.
"Well my goodness I bet that feels better." She added with a giggle. Logan settled quickly against her chest as she swayed back and forth slowly.
"You know kid…you've got impeccable timing." Haley stated and then gave her nephew a kiss on his head.
Quinn and Clay arrived home looking like they enjoyed their time away but anxious to be back to their newborn son at the same time. Quinn grilled Haley for all the details about how many diapers she'd changed, were they wet or poopy, and how much Logan had drank not wanting to miss any information that involved the care of her son.
"Are you sure there isn't anything else that happened while you were with him that I need to know about?" Quinn asked offering Haley a serious look while she waited.
"You know everything that happened with Logan I promise." She replied hoping her sister would finally stop asking her the same question over and over again.
"OK I know I sound crazy but I just haven't left him before you know?" Quinn tried to reason out loud knowing she was being rather neurotic towards her sister.
"Wait! There is something I forgot to tell you." Haley exclaimed out of nowhere.
Quinn's face turned to a panic look, "Oh my God! What?"
Haley's back was facing her sister now and she was glad because she couldn't wipe the sneaky smile from her face.
"I talked to Nathan while you were out." Haley finally answered a bit nonchalantly.
Quinn's eyes grew the size of quarters and she shrieked with joy, "YOU WHAT?"
Haley slowly turned around to face her sister once more and nodded her head slightly.
"Nathan called and we spoke for quite a while."
The minutes that followed were consuming with Haley providing Quinn the details of their conversation. Clay walked into the kitchen to get something to drink in the midst of the ladies discussion and quickly found himself getting sucked into the details himself. He watched the exchange between sisters as he poured himself a glass of juice.
"Quinn, you're being silly! I'm sure it doesn't mean what you're thinking it does. He broke things off with me remember. He walked away so clearly he wasn't feeling for me what I was for him. I've got to move on from that and can't let myself even think he still has feelings for me. He just calling because of the news of the breakup and that's it." Haley replied.
"Be serious Haley Bob. You know that's crap!" Quinn snapped back quickly as she shook her head.
"It is not!"
Clay remained silent for a few more exchanges between the James sisters before he finally couldn't take it anymore.
"Would you like to hear a guy's point of view in all of this?" He asked loudly having to speak over the two women who were currently battling each other with words.
Both women turned and scowled back at him with fury. For a moment, he instantly regretted opening his big fat mouth to begin with. What was he thinking anyhow trying to get in between the James sisters when they were having a disagreement?
Finding his courage once more he spoke again, "A guy doesn't call a girl he used to be involved with after a significant amount of time for no reason. Nathan is no different from that. He called for a reason Hales."
Haley shook her head not wanting to hear anymore, "I doubt it was anything more than a pity call."
"I may not know Nathan all that well however I do know this…He wouldn't call you after all this time just to offer you pity. Sometimes us guys have a hard time admitting when they've made a mistake or say we're sorry." Clay declared rather boldly.
"No fair you two are ganging up on me. Enough already! Thank you for letting me watch Logan while you two went out. I'm going to leave so you can enjoy the rest of your afternoon what's left of it anyway." Haley said surprisingly in an upbeat tone and then walked up to her sister to place a sweet kiss on her nephews head once more. She grabbed her purse from the counter and then headed towards the door. She wasn't angry with them but she'd had enough of the conversation.
"You can't keep running away from this Haley!" Quinn called after her.
Haley turned around when she got to the door and added, "I'm not running away I'm going to drive away. Don't worry about this Quinn…really…I'm fine with it all."
And what that she closed the front door behind herself leaving a stunned Quinn and Clay behind.
"Your sister is in total denial." Clay finally spoke as he reached to take his son from her arms. Quinn easily released the baby and turned to look at the two men in her life.
"Tell me about it. She is so content in getting in her own way no matter what I say or do. I just want to fix this for her and make it all better." Quinn admitted.
Clay leaned down and gave Quinn a quick peck on her lips before he added, "I know you do baby but you can't. She's got to do this on her own whether we like it or not."
Haley headed back to her house and completed the drive in silence. Her own thoughts were loud enough and all too consuming for the moment. She made sure to keep her focus on the road in front of her as she was still a tad anxious about driving again by herself. A fear she knew she was stronger than and could push through. A feeling of accomplishment set in as she pulled into her garage having gotten herself home safely.
The next morning Nathan had found his way to his workout room in the early hours of the morning. He'd tossed and turned in bed and couldn't seem to get back to sleep once he'd woken. He finally gave in and pulled on some gym shorts before heading downstairs. After about 10 minutes of running, he felt the anxious feeling in his muscles loosen slightly and he settled into a good pace. The music playing in the background was almost willing him to keep pushing forward another quarter mile. Thoughts of Haley and their conversation had kept him up most of the night and he'd headed to the gym to try and process his thoughts however it didn't seem to be working. He was sure of it once the song changed on his playlist and Haley's voice filled the room. Saving himself from stumbling on the treadmill, he pushed a button bringing the machine to a halt.
Nathan moved over to the weight bench and decided to take a stab at the bench press however failing to change the song on his way. He set the machine to his liking and got into position only to stop after only a few reps.
"Fuck it!" He declared out loud and walked over to the stereo. He flipped the switch and turned off the music. He picked up his iPhone from the counter where it laid and pulled up a contact. He tapped the name without hesitating.
He paced back and forth as he held the phone to his ear waiting for the caller to answer. Finally after four rings, there was an answer.
"Hello?"
"Hey it's Nathan! Listen I need a favor and I'm hoping you can help me out."
It took a few seconds before Nathan heard a reply, "Sure man what do you need?"
Nathan smiled and felt a weight lift off his shoulder as he prepared himself to answer.
"Thanks Keller I really appreciate it." Nathan exclaimed.