Peter pressed tightly against the passenger door… studying Walker carefully… the man's hair was steel grey… his face resembling worn leather… his green eyes fixed on the road… the highway that was rapidly increasing the miles from Washington. He tried not to think about the words the man said earlier "two of your agents are already down" he remembered the young men in the room this morning, Robert and Jim…fresh out of Quantico, neither one was more than twenty five he'd bet… he hoped they were ok… desperately hoped…he struggled to push away the thought of the monitor alarms… he couldn't consider what they meant… he agreed to play hostage in hopes the medical team could get to his friend in time… his mind reeled… he had no idea what this man had done to Neal… he should have been in there… he knew Walker would be coming… he should have… he turned away pressing his face against the cold glass… pushing the dark thoughts into the recesses of his mind. He needed to stay calm… rational. He needed to think… information… he needed information…get Walker talking…
"They are going to find you…" he spoke softly "there is no where you can hide… you are just making it worse."
"This wasn't my idea… I never wanted this" his eyes never left the road, his voice calm… conversational… "I would have left him alone you know…if he had just kept quiet…"
"In other words you thought the contracts would come out if you killed him." Walker glared at him darkly. After a minute he continued
"I have nothing but respect for the FBI… it's a shame about those agents…a real shame… I wish I hadn't been forced to do that… but I will not give up my life to that worthless little thief."
"This isn't about Neal anymore…you hurt… maybe killed two FBI agents… took another hostage in front of 3 others…not to mention the medical staff…"
"I didn't want to do any of that, you understand!" Walker glared at him sharply "I didn't want to hurt anyone."
"Right…" he barked a hoarse laugh "that's why 4 people are already dead… and 4 more may be…"
"They forced my hand… your little friend" he ground the last word between his teeth "forced me to protect my reputation."
"You should have thought of your reputation before you signed contracts to cover for 3 shipments a year for a drug runner and a weapons dealer…and who knows who else." he growled the words out "for 4% gross, right?"
"You can't prove that."
"We have the contracts." Walker startled, his scowl deepening
"That little son of a…." he stopped… calming himself visibly… "I will remind you he is a forger of some small skill."
"No… oh no you don't…" he fought the urge to physically attack the man "there is too much evidence against you to even try that." the .45 appeared in the old man's hand in a heart beat
"Shut up! Just shut the h*** up"
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One thought penetrated the fog in his mind… "he took Peter…Clarence Walker took Peter." he knew Walker sedated him… it was supposed to be a fatal dose…sending him into a permanent sleep… but they stopped him… the agents who were here…Dr. Cole explained he would be sleepy but the drugs in his system were not at a dangerous level… He wasn't sleepy… just cloudy… the world fading in and out of focus… like his thoughts… No, those were mostly out … just one was clear… that one lucid thought preventing him from drifting away with the haze. "He took Peter… My friend is in danger and it's my fault…always my fault… he gave himself up to save me" he blinked at the ceiling… he needed to do something, Walker was going to kill his friend and he had to stop him… Neal tried to sit up… pain shot through his body, he almost screamed… biting his lip to keep quiet… "I have to be quiet they'll stop me if they catch me…" he didn't stop… the respirator mask on his face caught… pulling him back… he shoved it aside with the back of his hand… tangling the IV's in the tubing… desperately he ripped them out of his hand… his arm…he was vaguely surprised at the blood that trickled from the punctures… blood… Robert on the floor… blood leaking from his body…a knife… another young face… still, lifeless by the door, limbs bend oddly… he gulped… how could he have forgotten about them…he twisted in the bed… Donny staring at him from the ground watching him run away … watching Neal abandon him… struggling to swing his legs to the floor… more tubing… and wires … this stuff was everywhere and his left leg would not move… the sickening crunch of bone…Jim sliding lifelessly to the floor… he gasped… he pulled at the plastic brace strapped around his waist, hips and thigh… his confined left fingers tugged at the rod secured to his leg…Robert's dazed glassy eyes as he stumbled… fell… the knife still horrifically embedded in his chest… he frantically grabbed the tubing that still trailed from his body imprisoning him… were they dead… he couldn't quite remember… the medical teams filling the room… frantic shouts…and blood…so much blood… and they were so still as they were taken away… two young agents killed to protect him… Donny eyes staring at him, pleading… his friend dying along in the woods… waiting for Neal to save him…Peter taken… in the hands of Walker…No more! He would not let another person die because of him. NOT! ONE! MORE!
Madison grabbed his arm trying to lower him back to the bed… he voice was soft… soothing but he couldn't focus on what she saying… gentle hands pressing firmly on his shoulder… he pushed her away… "I have to help!" another nurse grabbed him… he fought … he pleaded, they had to understand… "He took Peter… he took my friend… I have to help… It's my fault…" He gasped frantically trying to breathe "Please!"
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"Robert…" Thomas fixed a smile in place as he stepped into the room…he was spending entirely too much time in hospital rooms lately "how are you? What's the verdict?"
"I'll live…" the kid smiled… "It just feels like I won't" he flinched visibly…
"I'm sorry Robert…" the weight of responsibility was crushing him today… Two injured subordinates, a kidnapped agent… and a victim nearly killed…again.
"I'm ok…" worry flickered across the youthful face "how's Jim…?"
"Broken collar bone… concussion… he's going to be ok, though."
"That's good… what about Collins… is he alright?"
"As good as he was … you did good…you and Jim protected him" the look the boy gave him was baffled
"He didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what…some of the drugs got into his system… he's pretty sleepy…"
"He saved me…"
"What do you mean…?"
"H e pulled the monitor off his finger… set off the alarm, distracted Walker… When the old man came at me… that knife was coming straight at my throat and then…"he took a breath… "I was dead and I knew it… then Collins grabbed Walker's shirt… threw off his aim…" his look slid to amazement… "I didn't know he had it in him… the strength that is… he lunged sideways at the guy…still don't know how he did it… yanked him to the side…" Robert looked up at Thomas … "we were supposed to protect him… and he saved my life…"
"He seems to make a habit of surprising people..."
"Yeah…I noticed." he grinned ruefully "the look on his face…I'll never forget…the panic there… he barely knows me and he was that scared… can you imagine what he must have felt when those boys were killed…?" Reynolds nodded… he could imagine… unfortunately and just the thought broke his heart… knowing he had discounted that fear… that grief…had shown the man the skeletal remains of his friends… without the slightest remorse… "What does that say about you?" he gulped…somehow he would make it right… he would fix this… Thomas patted the young man's arm and walked away…
"Agent Reynolds?!" the nurse's eyes were almost frantic as she broke in. "We need your help…"
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"Please … he… took …Peter…" the whisper was desperate… hysterical…
Reynolds wondered vaguely how just a few weeks ago he had thought this man was incapable of feeling for others… he ducked back as the casted hand made contact with his cheek… for a man so frail…Caffrey packed a pretty decent left jab. He grabbed the arm as it swung at him again and held on…it wasn't that hard to pin it… the young man despite his determination to fight really was extremely weak… and trembling violently… Thomas hoped he wasn't hurting him but he was absolutely determined to get out of bed…no matter how ridiculous that prospect was to everyone else in the room… through it all the blue eyes pleaded with him… with all of them to let him up… whispered words slipped past blue lips…
"Please… he took Peter… I can… help…Please! Please… let me help" his eyes glassy from whatever cocktail of drugs Walker gave him… over and over he begged… pulling frantically at the tubes and wires on his thin body every time they released him for a moment… it was amazing how deft he was at it considering his left arm was in a cast and his right hand barely opened and closed… Thomas was at a loss how to get through that desperation.
"Caffrey!" her tone was firm but not harsh… Berrigan's voice seemed to penetrate the fog in Neal's mind… "Stop this." she looked into those big blue eyes "stop fighting us right now."
"Diana… he took…"
"I know." She snapped "and instead of being out there looking for him I am stuck here trying to keep you from killing yourself."
"Can…h-help…"
"Right…" she raised an eyebrow "Neal you can't even sit up…you can barely breathe…there is nothing you can do right now…"
"Please…"
"no." she regarded him with sympathy before she continued…her voice surprisingly gentle, Thomas thought her hand moving to stroke the dark hair "Neal he went with Walker quietly… so the medical team could get in here… to you…"
"I know that… that's why… I have to…"
"I am going to get him back safely… don't you doubt that, but how am I going to face Peter when I find him if I let you kill yourself right now. Now you stop this… and let us go find him." nurses slipped in then and placed restraints on his wrists… his ankles… his eyes flicked toward them helplessly… his strength spent…
"Diana…take care of him…" it was barely a whisper.
"I will." She promised "I promise." Reynolds watched Caffrey almost literally collapse in on himself… the fight fading in those desert sky blue eyes…leaving them dull, listless… a look of absolutely hopeless desolation in that gaze.… the tension left the arm he held… and the rest of the fragile body…he didn't move … not even a flinch as the IVs were reinserted, the monitors were replaced… catheters were adjusted… not when they slid the respirator back over his nose… not when they talked about intubating him… through it all those blue eyes stared blankly at the ceiling…not a another sound came from his lips …once … just once Reynolds saw a single tear escape and run silently over a pale cheek .
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Peter had never been so happy to see construction in his life… for 14 hours they drove at 70 miles per hour…Walker seemed inclined to keep it up all night… moving farther and farther inland … they were somewhere in Missouri, he thought… At least the old man put the gun away after the last gas stop… Construction offered a vague hope of escape…
The older man was willing to talk… more than willing actually. His self-righteous anger bubbled over…spilling out in an almost continual torrent of words for nearly an hour now… Clarence Walker clearly felt that he was being wronged… that Neal was to blame for his downfall.
"40 years…I gave this country 40 years of service…and this is my thanks…"
"Bunch of little street hustlers… and this one thinks he can take away the respect I earned…"
Peter couldn't keep quiet at that comment… "Because kidnapping a federal agent is earning respect…"That won him a dark glare… and a twitch of Walker's hand toward his gun…
"I did earn the respect I got…every last bit of it. I let him live, you know… 15 years, I let him live… I knew where he was… you think I didn't… It wasn't even hard" he smirked "he was registered at a local high school. Of course he didn't show up for class after the …incident…." That got Peter's attention
"You found him because he was registered for school?" Neal tried to finish school after he ran away?
"That and the FASFA form in the apartment… once I had a name…"And planned to go to college? Walker took his future… forced him to run…
"You kept track of him all this time?"
"It surprised me when he didn't go to the police…surprised me even more when he didn't cut a deal when you arrested him…"Walker waved his right hand wildly… "And then he did make a deal… but still he didn't play his ace… when the two of you started getting chummy…I knew I had to do something"
"What does that mean?" Peter stared at the old man suppressing a shiver "you've been watching me?"
"I couldn't let him trust you… I needed him closer… needed you separated…"
"Separated…? How did you plan to..."
"It was a simple matter of putting a word in the right agent's ear… something about that little punk being involved in a murder… and the good man tried his best to get him to Washington…to watch him while he investigated." Peter swallowed convulsively…Kramer? "I have to give the two of you credit actually on that one…somehow you came out on top… so I suggested a promotion for you…but you turned it down…" that explained the odd timing … "despite all the trouble he was getting into..."surely Walker wasn't responsible for Hagen and Racheal, was he? " I thought I was going to have to find a more permanent solution. Then he 'died' on his own… I actually fell for that…your performance really was impressive…"
He kept silent after that… his mind swirling. How many times… how many ways had this man interfered with Neal's life…? How many ways had he tried to destroy everything good the kid found… everyone he got close to…? How much of the loss he had endured been caused by this man…? How far back did the interference go… could Walker have been the one who tipped off Adler to Neal's identity? The one who arranged Fowler's transfer…his wife's murder even? Peter thought he might be sick…as the possibilities surged through his mind.
The construction sign barely registered at first as he stared out at the night… Peter was horrified by the information he had gained and he was worried about Elle… three and a half weeks since he saw her and now this… no doubt she was concerned … frightened… he needed to find a way to get home to her… He thought about his son… not a year old yet… he needed his daddy…
Then the left lane ended and traffic slowed… 50… 40… 30… he watched the speedometer drop…then as they traveled around a sharp curve…their speed reached 20 miles an hour… he wasn't going to get a better shot…in a heartbeat… the door was open… one quick breath and he jumped…