Note: Helloooo dear readers! Yes, one more update! Actually, once chapter 26 was posted yesterday, I kept on writing, and got 27, 28 and 29 done in a row. Just to prove that I can be even more cruel than with my evil cliffhangers, I'll post only one chapter a day. But it's only half a cruel new because it means a daily update until monday!

On a totally different topic, do you also have problems with the new version of FF? I get the emails when someone reviews, but the reviews hardly show in the site, and I can't reply to them, and it seems updates alerts are still not sent to everyone.
If you're concerned, don't hesitate to follow me on Twitter under xcloudbustingx.

As always, thank you for the wonderful reviews, the support for my job search, I hope the lemons I squeezed in here are enough to show my gratitude!

Mello
I didn't know if I should have been happy or question his sanity, when he finally made his decision. Hesitantly at first he took my hand, and brought it to his still hard penis. Covering my fingers with his palm, closing them around him, he began to move his hand up and down. I was there, mouth hanging half open in disbelief. I was still sleeping, that couldn't be true!
I was staring at him, searching for any clue about this, but he had closed his eyes, head slightly bowed. His moves were still unsure, I could tell it by the way he went slowly, barely applying pressure.
But little by little he gripped his member more firmly, and entwined his fingers with mines. I still couldn't believe what was happening. The up and down movement increased in speed and pressure, as well as his breathing becoming heavier.

Suddenly his hand left his member, leaving mine alone, and he gripped the couch on both sides of his hips, resting his back against the cushions, and for a brief second I wondered if he was about to ask me to stop.
His eyes were still squeezed shut and he didn't seem to bother that I was still pumping him, so I went on, still not understanding shit. But I wouldn't refuse the treat, oh no.

I jerked him off faster, and I could feel the wetness of precum under my fingers as it leaked along his length.
Oh fuck, how I wanted him!
I resumed masturbating myself, I couldn't take it anymore. I wished he would return the favor, but he seemed so lost in whatever land he was behind his closed eyelids that it would've been impossible. And because he would never do that, I guess, although I was starting to have doubts about his sexuality at that point.

I wanted to have that cock in my mouth, but I didn't dare to go that far, afraid to stop whatever we were doing. So I kept on pumping him, and I drank his beautiful features as pleasure took over him. I could tell he was close, his thighs were beginning to twitch lightly and I could see his lower abs contract in rhythm.
It was enough for me to come all over my hand, trying to be silent, but he followed not long after me, and, unable to resist anymore, I engulfed his member in my mouth just when semen started to spurt out.

He moaned loudly as he came, he didn't push me away like I thought he would, but once he was finished, breathing heavily, he slowly opened his eyes and glanced at me. His cheeks reddened more than they already had with orgasm and his eyes fell on my hands, that were in my lap, covered with sperm.
I saw the panic in his eyes, just like if he was realising what just happened. Hey man, you were there too, you know, it shouldn't be a surprise. His eyes were shiny and I think he was on the verge of tears, confusion marring his face as he looked at me once again.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered before running to the bathroom. I heard the shower not long after. Sorry?

I was confused as hell. As much as it looked like it, I didn't want to think about the eventuality that he wasn't as straight as he claimed to be. I didn't want to get my hopes up, Mail was a complicated mind to understand, and coming down from such a high expectation would hurt too much, so I tried to will my own mind to keep feet on the ground. But shit, he had let me jerk him off! We were way beyond a hug or a kiss!

I prepared some coffee while he was in the bathroom. At some point he came out of it, a towel around his waist, and it looked like he didn't dare to look at me.

Matt
The water was cold but I didn't care. What had I done? What had I let him do?
Now he was more than certainly thinking I had changed my mind, and that I was gay. I couldn't blame him for that, I did everything for this to happen. But damn, why? Why didn't I just push him away? Why imagining him as a girl once again? Sexual frustration doesn't explain everything, I just let my gay best friend masturbate me! That's sick as shit. He's not a girl, he has a dick too damnit!

I stopped washing my penis when it began to hurt. I felt like I needed to rub his fingerprints away from me, like if it would erase what happened, but at some point the skin was irritated and I still felt dirty.
Some of the feelings I had about homosexuality were surfacing, and I was disgusted by what I had done now.
But it dawned on me that the worst was to come: I would have to explain this to Mihael, and he would not be happy with my reasons...

I rinsed myself, grabbed a towel and exited the bathroom. I couldn't look at Mihael. I got dressed quickly.

"Coffee?" he offered.
"Yes please." I mumbled. I sat at the kitchen table, I needed to get this cleared, now. "Look, I'm sorry for what happened, I didn't mean to make it look like this..."
"Look like what?" Mihael cut me, and I could tell he was defensive already.
"I'm still not gay, and it's not what you think..."
He cut me again, I could feel his anger rise: "How would you know what I think?"
"Mihael... I know you're gonna hate me for that, but I was so horny I couldn't think straight, and I was imagining you as a girl and..." I stopped to look at him, wanting to know if I should prepare for a blow. But he was just staring at me and I regretted, oh how I regretted what I had done...
"Do you realise what you're telling me, Mail?" his voice was so soft, it was a rare thing for him, "If I was a girl, I'd just be one of your many sluts? Is that what you're saying? I'd be one of your backseat fucks like Layla or Annie?" His voice had risen again, breaking on the last words, and it was obvious he was hurt and trying to hide it.
"No. No, you wouldn't be that." I stood up, instinctively wanting to take him in my arms to comfort him. But Mihael was obviously not inclined to let me close to him. Actually, he reminded me of when he had beaten me to a pulp at the beginning of our relationship. I really had fucked up once again. Was I only good at that?

"Go away. I don't want to hear anynmore of what you have to say."
His voice was ice cold, as were his eyes, and it sent shivers to my spine. As well as I knew him, he still could scare the shit out of me.
But if I left now, things would be over once and for all, there would be no other chance. It would really be the end this time. I wouldn't let that happen so I began to speak my heart out, that's all I could do at this point, but maybe he'd understand.

"Mihael, please, it's not like this at all!" I pleaded him, but he pushed me to the door firmly.
"Shut up and get out of my apartment." he was stone cold.
"No! I won't go until you heard what I have to say!"
"SHUT UP!" he yelled, and his fist connected with my jaw. Fuck, it hurt!
My lower lip was bleeding but I kept on talking, uncaring.
"I wish you were a girl Mihael, because things would be way more simple and I just could date you and kiss you and make love to you, but it's not like this and it's complicated for me because I'm in love with someone that will never exist, and there's not a single chance that I turn gay, so I lose my mind because it's fucking difficult to live, can't you understand that?" I shouted, totally devastated, because his face was decomposing, and I was losing it.
This time I was pretty sure he would throw me out of his life and I'd never see him again.

I don't know how long he stayed silent, and the situation was more than weird. He sat back at the kitchen table, served us coffee, I sat facing him, and we drank our cups without a word.
Even when we had finished, he was still looking at his hands encircling the mug, in silence.
At least he let me stay, there was probably some hope that we could work this out.

"I don't know if I should cry or laugh." he said suddenly, and looked at me. His face was blank.
I couldn't say a word, I was so afraid to worsen my case that I kept my mouth shut.
"When I thought things couldn't be more fucked up than they were, you're proving me otherwise." he went on, "Mail, we really have a problem. You'll never be gay and I'll never be a girl, what do we do now?" Mihael shook his head, "Why can't you be in love with me as a guy?... I mean, I'd be the same, just without a dick, what does it change?"
"I can't get passed this detail... I'm sorry, it's beyond my capacities, I've tried, I promise you, I've really tried, look how far I've gone a little earlier! But still, I felt bad afterward, I felt..." I just couldn't say this to him.
"Dirty... I know Mail. I know that even if you changed your mind a lot, you can't act against what you are, and you're straight, period."

Mihael stood up, picked up our mugs to deposit them in the sink, and he went to take a shower.
When he was back, fully dressed, I was sat on the windowsill, smoking. I was dragging on my fourth cigarette in a row, those events had me totally in need of a huge dose of nicotine.
I couldn't stand his look. He was hurt, not by the fact I could not love him as a guy, but because of what could have been. Without details, big details like being straight, not being a girl, we'd be a couple, and a very loving one, I was sure of it, and he knew it too. That's what hurt the most.

We had been silent for a very long moment, and I knew that I couldn't comfort him by hugging him, it would hurt even more. So at some point I thought it would be better to leave him alone and I left. He didn't object although he sighed and almost made me change my mind, but it was better to have some time alone, although I dreaded not to see him again. I forced myself to think that if he really wanted to get rid of me for good, he's have thrown me out already.

Mello
I didn't really want him to go, actually, I was afraid of myself once he'd be gone, afraid of my thoughts turning round and round in my head. It hurt like a bitch to think that he was in love with the female version of me. I mean, he loved me, really loved me, what I was as a person and all! It was intoxicating to think that I could be his ideal mentally, and yet so heartbreaking that nothing was possible because of my dick. I could even feel more love for him than I already felt, knowing he had tried, tested himself for me. But the result was all the same: I was a guy and he was still not gay.

The following days were hectic. We saw each other on a daily basis, went to uni, most of the time he'd pick me up with his car, and we'd end up at my apartment for a drink after class and talked, but the subject of the recent events was never brought up.

It had been two months now and we were nearing the end of the scholar year, and I was supposed to go back to Germany. No need to say how much I didn't want to leave. So I managed to agree with my parents to go back there for two weeks in July, and two more at the end of August. But spending the whole vacations away from Mail was impossible, I just couldn't take it, even with this weird atmosphere between us. Oh, we had a lot of fun, things were kinda like before everything happened, but we were both avoiding a hurtful topic and we knew it.

He drove me to the airport the day of my departure, and it was really hard to leave him.
As I was about to enter the hall where he couldn't follow me anymore, he kissed me on the cheek. All I could do was smile to him, but I wanted so much more... And suddenly I knew what I had to do to solve the situation.