Since I halted the story so suddenly, let me update you so I can give you the proper ending to this chapter in my life.

1- In may Ichigo met my friends and needless to say, the guys nominated him as a douche from the moment they observed his actions and how he behaved around me in front of other people. He finally agreed to go to a party with me to meet them and we were separated most of the time. I didn't mind or think anything of it because of the fact that I knew he wasn't okay with public display of affection but they found it odd. They said, months later, that It was weird that for as highly as I talked about him, he seemed pretty distant from me. They were seeing something I wasn't at the time and didn't really bother to tell me, thinking it was for my own good and allowed my happiness just a little longer.

2- In June, Orihime announced she was moving 6 hours away from me to be with our other best friend, from high school, that was already living in the tiny hole in the wall town for some time. She moved at the end of that month, paying July's rent so she gave me the place to myself for that time period, leaving me with the decision to find someone to replace her.

3- Mid July came around and I was becoming more and more stressed about not being able to find a roommate and I feel like I was becoming more and more needy because of it, slowly bringing up more and more arguments between Ichigo and I as time went on.

4- As august came around, Byuakuya paid the rent of august, giving me another month to find a roommate but I took a vacation and went to see Sasuke, 3100 miles away from me. During that time, I celebrated the birthday Ichigo never bothered to wish me well on and when I got back I informed him I was done and thus began the dark depression I have ever experienced.

5- 3 months later I am holding up with the best roommates Life has to offer me;

Diary of you -ENDING-

"Can you hurry up Rukia" Shiba nagged as he stood outside, on the deck in front of my apartment that looked over our driveway. When I stepped out of the back of the truck, holding a light box I glared at the smirk he had on his face.

"You can come and help ya know. That'd be great" I rolled my eyes and walked to the side of the building, up the steps till I too was on the deck when Renji walked from the apartment and outside to join use.

"You got that Rukia?" He asked. I looked to him and smiled happily with a nod before carrying it in. As I set the box in the empty room, I heard a honk from outside. I walked tot he window and seen the silver car pull up in front of the driveway. I smiled happily as Hisagi and Sado stepped out of the car.

"Took you guys long enough!" I hear shiba call out as I run to the front door and out onto the deck where I waved down at them.

...

Later that night the four of em cracked open beers and I just sat there with my sketchbook and laughed as I watched them exchange jokes. Upon looking at them I couldn't help but to smile. I was more than lucky enough to where Sado, Shiba, and Renji were all looking for a place. Renji and Shiba wanted one together anyway and since my place was a three bedroom it was perfect. Sado and Shiba got their own rooms, as well as me, because Renji insisted he slept on the couch. He didn't have anything besides his clothes and a bed in storage. For such a small collection of things, he said his own room wasn't needed and requested the couch with equal pay in rent still. It was perfect. It was late out and Hisagi was telling a story when my phone went off. We were all laughing then suddenly I felt my heart drop as I seen who it was from. My expression showed on my face because I went dead silent in the middle of a laugh and it was easy to tell when something bothered me. I stood from my chair and that alone was enough to catch their attention. I walked to the very back room, which was mine, took the jacket from my bed and held it tightly as I stayed frozen in place. It was the last thing and tie I had to him. I heard the honk outside and then heard the honk again before the guys began to chatter about what was going on. I took in a deep breath and walked from my room and out into the main living area where Hisagi was already at the window and Ichigo had stood up.

"Rukia, you okay?" He asked. I didn't say anything in response. Now after leaving Ichigo it was obvious I was going through a depressing state because I avoided all contact and when people would ask to come visit I would reject them. I posted depressing status' on facebook so it wasn't hard to tell. Up until now though, no one really bothered to bring it up I fear of how I might react.

I've thought about going to them many times because Orihime was gone and I had no other family besides Byuakuya, they were the only ones I knew would listen and honestly care but I didn't wanna bother them with my crying. No one want's to let others see them cry and that was my case. The only thing that got me tempted was Shiba's words after a while of catching on with the fact that I wasn't doing to good. I will always have the message saved in my phone because it was security after Orihime left; 'It's okay to cry in front of those who care Rukia, no matter how much you don't want to. Renji, Hisagi and I are here for you, like your older brothers and we have to protect our sis. You do a lot of us and its the least we can do.' And it was true. I have been known to be an overly caring/giving person. I see the best I people and give people the benefit of the doubt way too much, which was one of my problems when it came to Ichigo. Like with everyone, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and often made a lot of excuses for him until I accepted reality.

"Ichigo..." I mumbled lightly "He just came by to pick up his jacket and give me my house key back." I said as I slipped on my shoes at the front door. When I walked to the door, I opened it, leaving it open and closing the screen behind me with the guys following after. Shiba had lit a cigarette and the four stood out on the deck above the driveway as I walked down and approached the running car and the tall handsome man that stepped out of it.

I can't explain what I felt...

I can't explain to you what went through my mind and how heart my heart was after he drove away. I knew they were watching me from above and I didn't want them to see me breaking down as I held the key tightly in my hand at the end of the driveway. You know how when you let all your emotions out at once? When you need one long last cry before moving on? That's what happened. At that moment, that one moment of exchanging items I felt everything we've ever went through within these 9 months rush to me in an instant and after he left without a word and drove off I knew it was officially done and over with.

I cried.

I cried so hard right there at the end of the driveway but not in a hysterical way, in a way that was silent but hard due to the effort it took to restrain my feelings from being let out. It hurt so much and I didn't know how to handle myself. The feeling is gone now so I can explain it all too well but that one last cry and closure was what I needed. I gathered myself and walked back up the steps with my head hung. I avoided eye contact with the guys and went straight to my room where I closed my door and sat on my bedroom floor in the dark, crying more until I fell asleep on the floor. That was the longest night of my life...

It had been a while since I cried or hurt over Ichigo and I was slowly crawling from my depression. I was looking at things with open eyes and determination flew through me. I was becoming a whole new person a new person that will allow to be able to wear my heart on my sleeve but be careful about it. to be not as humble to people who don't deserve it and most importantly, as Shiba taught me, to stick up for myself.

Byuakuya and the guys have grown close but not as close as him and Renji. I didn't know what it is but Byakuya and Renji were out doing more and more things together and the more they were out doing things the more Byuakuya shoved the thought of Renji being his brother in law down my throat even more so. I continuously informed him that Renji didn't like me that way but he protested ad responded with;

"You know, he told me he had to restrain himself from beating Ichigo's ass. He said 'You don't know how much it irritates me that Ichigo played with Rukia's heart that way' "

I didn't believe him at first and as time past, the love for the guys grew more and more. One person in particular though

...

2:00am

I felt something shift next to me in bed and when I turned to look, it was Renji, he had crawled in my bed and smirked to me as he said that he wanted to be close to me. That night we talked for an hour or so where he told me that I didn't have to work out if I was trying to prove something. He said I was beautiful in his eyes and he said that my personality was even more so. He established his hate for Ichigo and his actions as well, proving Byuakuya's statement true. More and more he became fond of my bed till he was sleeping at my side every night to the point where we were now sharing a room.

As of the month of December we finally decided to take a chance and take it beyond the friends with benefits

Renji and I are now happily going steady

Thank you to everyone who reviewed and made me smile during my hard times when trying to deal with getting over Ichigo. I would find myself going back and rereading the comments. Everything in this story is true and based off true events so please be kind with the ending reviews. I am so lucky to have the guys here with me when Orihime couldn't be. I felt so empty after she left me, then with Ichigo leaving as well it really hit me. That hole has been filled with the love and compassion everyone gives me. I hope to hear your thoughts and thanks for your best wishes.

-Yumi