Note: Here's what you were waiting for, the daily update! A bit later than the previous days but I was on the train this morning, I'm finally back home!
We shall go on with the daily updates after today ^^
The only problem being that I love writing this story so much, I can't accept that it will have to end at some point :(

I still haven't decided for a name for my rats, but thanks for your suggestions!

Many of you said in reviews how much your feelings were influenced by this story, and believe me, that's the best reward an author can get! Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews, I'm so happy to be able to share what I feel with you!

Matt
You know, I almost wished that when I would see him, the separation, the fact he had done so much to try to change, that he had put his health in danger, everything would have made me forget what forbade me to love him as a guy, in short, that I would finally turn gay. But I guess this happen only in fanfiction, right?
I have to admit that I was extremely happy to see him, that I wanted to hug him, to prove him I was still there for him, and my stomach filled with butterflies was a proof that it made something to me to see him. But I still didn't want to rape him on his door mat, where he stood, speechless. I bet he didn't expect me here.

Mello
I was hallucinating. What was Mail doing here? How did he find the money for the flight? I hope he hadn't sold his car or something as stupid as that. Had he gotten my text message? Was he still hoping I'd be a girl soon?
I didn't know what to ask first, so I settled for: "Mail! Wha... how... you... the fuck?"
So very smart and badass, right?
He looked at me and there was that cocky smile on his lips, amusement in his eyes, and he reminded me of the first time I saw him, in the amphitheatre. I melted all the same under his gaze.

And he hugged me. I guess that replied to some of my questions. And it broke my heart. Because being far away from him helped concerning my resolutions, but sticking to who I am, knowing full well that he's not gay, and that I won't be his lover, is pure torture now that he's got his arms around my neck and that I can smell his skin, shampoo and smoke. The scent that's solely branded Mail.

"I'm happy that you still love me after what I made you do." He whispered in my ear. I think hormones, female ones I mean, were still kicking, because it brought tears to my eyes.
I hugged him back, maybe too strongly because he chuckled and said: "Doesn't seem like the treatment removed your manly muscles!"
I laughed and cried at the same time, not letting him go.
"I thought I'd never hear of you again when I didn't see you on Skype." I mumbled, head buried in the crook of his neck. To anyone exterior, we'd look like a gay couple, but he didn't seem to mind.
"I wanted this to be a surprise, so you wouldn't have time to runaway. I couldn't let you do the biggest mistake of your life..." Mail withdrew slightly to look at me, grinning, "But I don't have to convince you to stop the treatment obviously, so I thought that since I was here I'd come to say hello, at least." He winked, acting like he was about to go.
"You jerk..." I laughed, pulling him to me.
He burst into laughters too: "Oh yeah, call me sweet little names..."

I led him inside, amused by his priceless face when he saw all the electronics we had here. We got in the kitchen so I could prepare some sandwiches since none of us had eaten yet, and then he gave me a glimpse of a part of him I absolutely love: "Wow, I wish I could offer stuff like these to my mother!", motioning to the dishwasher, electric oven and stuff.
His mummy's boy side totally turns me to a puddle. I guess it's easy, with a mother like his. I mean, sending your son abroad because his best friend has problems, when you don't have much money... I love this woman, and I'd make sure to thank his parents properly once I'd be back... the word that came to my mind was 'home', and I realised at that precise moment how I felt at home in my apartment there, and not here anymore. Home is where the heart is, it sounds right...

I acted on impulse but I walked the two steps between him and me, grabbed his face in my palms, and kissed him. At the moment my lips touched his I realised what I was doing and told myself he would freak out or at least push me away. He was indeed taken aback, but he didn't move, just smiled to me when I looked at him a bit afraid of his reaction.
He didn't look repulsed but I didn't push my luck further.
Once I had filled a plate with enough food for both of us (ok, three of us, I was in EatZilla mode) and fetched drinks in the fridge, we headed upstairs for my room.
Mail deposited his bag on the floor and took a look around.
"It looks exactly like your apartment. The decoration I mean." he said.

We sat on my bed while we ate. It was quite strange to have Mail here, it was something I would have never imagined.
I left the room a few minutes to retrieve the plate to the kitchen and bring some more drinks, but once I was back I resumed glancing at him too often for it to be natural. I just couldn't process his presence here. I loved it, but it was just so unexpected...
"Hey, I won't vanish, stop looking at me like that!" he laughed.
"I can't believe that you came all the way from California just to make me stop my treatment..." I replied. God, how I wanted to touch his face, stroke his hair, or just hold him close...
"I can't believe that you took such a treatment to begin with... I mean, how could you take such a decision in the first place when you knew you didn't really want to be a girl?"
I guess it was time for a serious talk...

Matt
The look Mihael gave me... I felt so guilty, so bad... He didn't reply to my question but I knew the answer.
"Mihael, I may say a lot of stupid things in the future, but promise me that you'll never do anything stupid again because of something I would have said."
He looked at his hands, then at me again. "I promise... I know it was stupid... But I need to ask you, if I had come back in the US as a girl, what would you have done?"
Fuck. I didn't know the answer to that.
"I can't reply to that Mihael, I really don't know. I thought that you as a girl would be my ideal, but really, I don't know. I've come to think that your personality would never be the same if you were a girl, so even with the body of a girl, if it's not you inside..."
He was confused, but somehow, my answer seemed to appease him.
"There's really no solution for us..." he chuckled sadly.
"Why should we find one? Why not just be friends and let things go their way? We're focusing on that so much that we can't have fun anymore..."
He nodded: "You're probably right... we've been through much drama lately, it's better we focus on being happy with what we have I guess."

I wished I could give him more than I did now, because it was hard to see him resigned like this. But it was complicated. I wanted him to act like his usual self, but his usual self was used to get and take what he wanted, and I wasn't able to give him everything he wanted...

"Mail? If I hadn't stopped by myself, what would you have done to make me stop the treatment?" He said out of the blue as I was finishing my cigarette at the window.
I know he expected a stupid joke from me, from the amusement in his eyes, he was kind of provoking me, probably waiting for a 'I'd have kicked your ass until it bled' or something similar, but the answer to this came to me suddenly, with so much evidence that I pronounced the words without the slightest hesitation, without the slightest fear for consequences.
"I would have told you that I love you."
It was true. Guy or not, I loved him. It was platonic but I loved him. Romantically I mean. My feelings were way beyond friendship and I had just realised how deep they ran. My chest constricted because of the force of these feelings. I had never felt anything similar but this time I wasn't looking at Mihael hoping he was a woman, I was looking at the one I loved, hoping I could love his body as much as his mind.
Mihael stood from the bed and stared at me in shock.
Then he closed the space between him and me and, inches away from me, he stopped.
He was refraining his want to kiss me, it was obvious, but I couldn't accept to ruin the moment, his moment. I had harmed him enough until now.
"What are you waiting for?" I smiled at him, and for a brief instant he looked confused.

Then he grabbed my face in his palms and when his lips touched mines, his left hand reached the back of my head, pressing our mouths together to deepen the kiss, while his other arm pulled me to him, holding me firmly against him. It was totally different from the time I had kissed him in the toilet booth of the club where he worked at.
This time Mihael was leading the kiss. More than that, he was exploring my mouth with his tongue, caressing mine, gently biting my lower lips, and I could feel all his muscles against me as he held me. I freaked out but I didn't let it show. I didn't want him to stop. Because the reason why I was freaking out was that I liked it.
It gave me chills, I was totally limp in his arms, unable to do more than reply to the kiss. I knew that it was the real Mihael, the badass, kissing me. He was dominating me, taking what he wanted right now, and giving me just as much. My heart was beating so fast that it echoed in my temples, and when he finally broke the long exchange, I was out of breath, totally stunned.

Even Mihael was surprised by the state I was in when we parted.
I knew that I wasn't turned on, but damn, I was probably very close to a schoolgirl getting her first real kiss: my legs trembled and my mind was reduced to mash. When I thought he was a good kisser last time, I had seen nothing yet.

Mello
Mail sat back on the windowsill, and I really wondered what was going through his mind.
He looked knocked out, totally emptied of energy. His cheeks were red, and he was breathing heavily. But I could recognise the expression in his eyes: there was a lot of love, something I had wanted to see for so long, but there was no sexual attraction. Fuck, had I lost my mojo?
His swollen lips, the way his chest heaved, I wanted so much more... I guess my own expression gave me away because he lit up another cigarette and straightened, his stance declaring hostilities over.

We had a very long talk after that, both ending sat on the floor, with music in the background and cans of drinks scattering little by little around us.
It was so good to have him here. I had no fear of speaking my heart out. Strangely, it was very easy to voice thoughts that I would have never said otherwise, but my trust in him was stronger than a rock. It was something I had missed in my life, and it was one more thing that Mail was bringing me, one more thing that made it impossible for me to be away from him. He was becoming everything to me, but I wasn't scared, because that was my own choice this time. It wasn't my feelings taking over, it was reason. It was the knowledge that it was the right thing for me, he was the right one, and he had proven that I was as important for him than he was for me, so I had no doubts anymore, I wasn't going straight in the wall, this relationship would be the best thing happening to me in my life.

We discussed the fact that I felt a guy, and could never be a girl (and of course, Mail made a duty of reminding me that except my male attributes, I looked like a chick anyway, and that he didn't want to imagine me PMSing, or that I already had the temper of a diva. Thank you Mail...). But it was so nice to have fun with him this way, I couldn't be mad at him, I knew he did it only to tease me like friends do.
Still, I got him by telling him that if I looked so much like a chick, then he shouldn't have a problem with dating me. He made such a face... sweet revenge...

The conversation slowly drifted to the topic of what we had done while we were separated. It started randomly while we were talking about games we'd like to play together and the fact that Mail had barely played anything since the beginning of vacations, him who was a heavy player, so I had asked him what he had done instead, inwardly wondering if he had dated anyone, though I started to believe that he had finally stuck to this promise I thought was implied between us.

"Actually, I just waited for time to pass... I wasn't up for anything, I got bored with everything, and it's been even worse when you called to say you wouldn't be back when you had planned to. I was so disappointed!"
I loved hearing that.
"I even told myself at some point that you had found someone and would never come back."
So he'd been fearing the same as me.
"No matter if we're not together, if we're just friends, I'll be faithful to what we don't have." I replied dramatically, the back of my hand on my forehead like a tragedy actor.
Mail laughed then smiled at me, with that one of his smiles that means 'I'm gonna say something serious even if I don't look like it'
And indeed. "I hope so, I wouldn't want to have blisters on my left hand for nothing."
I really love this guy.

It was around 9pm when hunger made my stomach growl.
I didn't see time pass, talking with Mail. We had so much to catch up with, most of what we chatted about was random, but I think we were both just happy to be together, and so much more lighthearted than the previous days that we enjoyed it fully now.

We picked up all the empty cans scattered on the carpet of my room and went downstairs to have dinner.
Mail was surprised when he asked about my parents being annoyed by his presence, and that I told him they would probably not come back until saturday, which was four days later.
I said nothing about the fact that I had only seen them five days since I had come back here, and not even five days in a row. They weren't even there when I arrived, they had called me to say I should get home in a taxi, that they had asked their house employee to fill the fridge and make my bed. They only came home one week later, I wasn't even sure that they were happy to see me, and left two days later. They episodically came back, mostly between their own holidays abroad and several receptions at whatever important place they had to be. It didn't surprise me to the least, I even had been a bit skeptical when they had asked me to come back for the holidays. We weren't the close family kind, and my parents easily beat anyone at the title of unconcerned parents. They thought that as long as they provided money, they were good parents. I had made myself a reason, but I guess that it could be shocking for anyone exterior. Mail didn't need to know that.

We had several guest rooms so he would have the choice where he wanted to sleep. But for now, we needed to eat. I hadn't stopped the treatment for long, but already the side effects had reverted, now I was dizzy and nauseated when my stomach was empty, to the point I could throw up bile.

I cooked a balanced meal, deciding it was time to stop overeating and junk food.
When I saw Mail grimace in front of the vegetables in his plate, I told him that he would suffer with me because there was no way I kept the fat starting to locate on my abs and thighs.
He complied and ate without further protest.

Later in my room, as we settled there again, both still not having had our content of small talk.
I stood up at some point to reach in a drawer of my bedside table, and unwrapped a chocolate bar under Mail's reproaching glare.
"You make me eat greens and then you eat chocolate?" he pouted.
"I need chocolate." I replied.
"Show me."
"Show you what?" I didn't understand what he wanted to see actually. My chocolate?
"Where you're fat, I can't see anything except maybe a tiny belly."
"My face, my thighs, it's obvious!"
"Doesn't bother me actually."

Mail was really scrutinizing me, and it felt really strange. I was used to being checked out by girls and guys alike, for my particular sense of fashion, or because I was to their likings, or because they had a problem with gays, whatever, but I couldn't tell why he was checking me out like he did. It was very insistant, like if he was looking at every detail of my leather clad anatomy.
For the first time I felt ashamed of my body. I was inwardly cursing at myself for feeling this way, I had promised myself that I would never let anyone influence my judgement on myself but I didn't like my body right now and I couldn't help it. It wasn't Mail's fault, I didn't like being overweight.
And he even stated that it didn't bother him, which was kinda strange to me.
Since we'd been reunited here, we had a habit of talking like we were together, kinda. I guess it had to do with the fact that our strange friendship was of the exclusive kind, with extra feelings of love, platonic from his side, unfortunately.

He stood up and he was still looking close at me when he approached.
My heart began to beat faster, I didn't know what to expect. And certainly not that he turned around me slowly, his hand following his move, laid on me, from my left thigh, my hip, my ass, to end flat on my stomach.