Note: I guess this is the last thing you expected, an update! It took me time but I'm finally back, I just had a lot going on IRL and it was bugging me too much for me to be able to settle down and write. I wrote, but I just couldn't get anything as I wanted to so this chapter stayed half written, I had also a oneshot almost finished but that I couldn't end either, so it was kind of my personal hell. Not being able to write is a nightmare for me, but I guess you writers understand.
Updates will be more regular now, with the good news that all this time I took made me realise that something was wrong with what I had planned for the last chapters of this fic, so instead of something like 5 chapters, we probably are close to 10/15 chapters more. Still quite some time to share this fic together! Believe me, all your reviews are awesome, and I love being able to feel that close to my readers :)
As usual, a shameless self ad: Yesterday I posted the oneshot stated above since I finally could finish it, it's 'Playing fair' and it's in my stories list. It's very different from what I usually write so your impressions about it are welcome.
Matt
We were sat in the bathtub, hot water running to fill all we had splashed around the bathroom, foam forming around us as Mihael poured some more liquid. The poor groom that would have to clean that mess we made...
But it had been a lot of fun, and now we were just enjoying the calm after the storm, relieved of some sexual tension and overall lulled into a comforting atmosphere made of the iodin scent of the bath bubbles, the dampness and heat building in the bathroom and each other's presence.
We lathered each other with shampoo and soap, and splashed the marble some more while rinsing ourselves, before we just laid there, content.
At some point, the silence became Mihael's refuge and I knew, looking at him, that he wasn't just enjoying the moment anymore, something was bugging him. He was lost in his thoughts, absent mindedly playing with the foam.
I touched his knee to bring him back to reality.
"What's wrong?" I asked, starting to get worried.
Mihael sighed and smiled.
"I was just thinking about my parents... I never had a confrontation with them about my sexual orientation. I knew they didn't approve but still, they had never been hostile. I know it's stupid, I live away from them all year long, it shouldn't bother me that they avoided me or didn't approve of my choices..."
"They're still your parents, and you care because you love them, there's nothing stupid about that." I replied. I didn't like what had happened, but it had made me understand a lot about Mihael and his background.
He was alone, all the time. Not only physically but morally. His parents had never accepted him as he was, he didn't have a family to rely on like I have, he was in a constant fight to have the right to be himself.
It wasn't fair, he was judged all the fucking time! I wasn't proud that I had been part of this myself, just happy I was over with those stupid prejudices.
"I know... I just wish they'd just get over it, they gave birth to me, they made me what I am, it's not my fault..." Mihael shivered.
I rose and got out of the water, Mihael following me. I quickly grabbed a towel and proceeded to dry him. He suddenly snuggled against me, burying his face in my shoulder. I held him close.
My strong, badass Mihael was breaking down. He was tired of fighting, and for once, he allowed himself to let his guard off completely, to rely on someone else, now that he had someone else to rely on.
But there was one thing I knew, it was not to point it out to him.
In other times I would have made fun of him, but right now the least I wanted was to hurt his pride.
So I simply waited for him to be able to get a hold of himself, stroking his damp hair and making sure he wasn't too cold by encircling my arms around him.
Mello
I had never felt like this. It was beyond being in love. I had been in love, deeply, with one of my exes, but never had I felt this way. My heart was breaking for what my parents had done. It had never reached this point, but I clearly saw that they had let out everything that had built up since they had known I was homosexual. The anger, the pain, the rejection, but worst of all, the disappointment. My parents didn't love me enough to go past the fact I wasn't like they expected, and it was tearing me apart. I had always known, but somehow they coped with it so it wasn't so bad, especially since I had moved to LA. But being back to Berlin, in my old room, my old life, had made me understand that the new me from LA didn't fit in the old berliner place where the old me had lived.
I had grown up, had found my place, could be myself fully, and had even found true love. Because I was sure it was. I had no doubt about Mail, as strange as the situation was. He had made all the way from rejective homophobic to loving gay boyfriend, and that was quite something. Well, gay, I couldn't really tell, I still felt him like straight, as weird as it was since we had had some sexual activities together.
But right now I couldn't help the tears rolling on my face, and the need to hold on to him, the sick feeling in my gut that there would always be someone to reject who I was, that nothing could just be neuter.
No one gives a fuck about heterosexual people and what they are/do, but it would never happen with me, there would always be a bug in my life flying annoyingly around me, reminding me that I was different and that I had to have a finger pointed at me for it.
I shivered from the cold, and realised that Mail hadn't moved, holding me and stroking my back all along.
He hadn't said a word, he had just waited for me to calm down, and where I expected him to make some comment about my behaviour, he just kissed me sweetly and pulled me to the bedroom so we could get dressed.
Once we had our clothes on he prepared two coffees with the Nespresso machine, fighting with it a little while (I guess he didn't have one at home, those were quite expensive), and brought one to me along with the chocolate box.
He was around me like a mother goose now, taking care of me, and chatting about nothings to keep the conversation light and comfortable. He was adorable, and I loved being treated this way... it was unusual for me.
I guess his mother had given him a good example.
"Mail, you should bring something back from Berlin to your parents, shouldn't you?" I suddenly offered.
Thinking about his mother made me suddenly want to bring her something from this trip but it had to come from Mail, I wasn't her son. I was just very grateful that she was such a great mother, and some part of me wished mine was like her.
"Well, I'd love to but..." Mail didn't have the money, I shouldn't have forgotten that.
"Don't worry about financial aspects of our shopping spree, ok?" I pulled him on his feet, standing up from the bed, and motioned to go outside.
"Mihael, you can't pay for everything, I'm not your housewife!" Mail stopped in his tracks, slightly indignated.
I laughed out loud, a nasty comment reaching my lips, that I was unable to stop: "You'd look so good in a french maid's outfit though." I approached him while saying this, almost murmuring the words in his ear, and kissing his jaw line.
I didn't expect the result though.
Mail grabbed my face in his palms and began to kiss me feverishly, deepening the kiss very quickly, almost biting me. He was pressing himself into me, and I snaked my arms around his waist to bring him even closer. A few seconds later I was granted by something hard pressing against my crotch. Wow. Well, no need to say that my dick responded the same way very, very fast.
If it hadn't been Mail, I think I would have nailed him right there and then. Thrown him on the bed, got him naked, and jumped like there's no tomorrow.
At some point I think it became too obvious that I was into it, when I grabbed his butt and pressed him even more against me. He stopped immediately what he was doing, looking at me and panting.
He didn't look afraid, just hesitant. I had the impression he was evaluating the possible issues and weighting them to decide the outcome of this.
Matt
He had done it again, the 'let's-melt-Mail-into-a-puddle' thing. It was still so new to me that a guy could do that to me when no girl had ever been able to (I was the one to melt girls into puddles, mind you). But I couldn't ignore what it did to me, and I felt the urge of something physical with Mihael immediately.
So I kissed him. But it was not enough, I wanted to feel every inch of him. Well, apart from some 7 inches that I wasn't comfortable around yet.
But as everytime he took control, my body just couldn't stop answering the stimulation, and I grew hard in no time.
Our hot kiss lasted a few minutes, our hands exploring places, until his reached my ass and squeezed it.
My mind sizzled at the thought of something else happening to my ass and I broke the kiss. Would I ever been able to give that to Mihael? Shit, I was so unsure... so frustrated that maybe it would never happen and he would never get what he wanted. I wanted to please him on this point but I couldn't, I just couldn't.
I tried to think myself into it. It couldn't be that bad, ok, it would probably hurt, but if so many people did anal, it couldn't be so bad. The girls in the glaucous bar had liked it after all. And it couldn't be different between guys and girls, gays did it too... But no, I couldn't. It's not that I wasn't ready, I didn't even want to do it.
Mihael was staring at me, waiting for a reaction. His face was slightly flushed, his lips swollen, his breath short.
Damn, he was gorgeous. I still wanted him so bad... I had to find a way. He wouldn't take it, I wouldn't take it, so what was left?
We couldn't just stop there and forget it, we were both hungry and horny like hell.
I pushed Mihael sat on the bed, pecking his lips, smiling at him as he looked at me wondering what I was up to.
Then I knelt between his open legs and began to unlace his leather pants, peeping through my bangs from time to time to look at him, and he was obviously understanding what I was aiming to do, but surprised at the same time.
I slightly pulled on his leather downwards to free his erection, and then I faced the reality of what I wanted to do. It didn't seem so easy now that I was facing the matter. And I obviously couldn't do it. I felt awfully bad.
"I'm sorry Mihael, I thought that I could do it... but..."
"It's ok, don't worry about that."
Mello
I was disappointed of course, but I wouldn't show. I didn't want him to feel bad for trying, it was already much for him and I knew it. If today he could at least think he could do it, then there was hope, right?
But I was still horny as fuck and I needed relief. I grabbed Mail and pushed him on his back on the bed, climbing on top of him to kiss him. He yelped at the harsh landing and laughed, encircling my neck to kiss me back.
He was still as hard as me, and I began stroking his member through his jeans. Oh fuck those little moans he was doing...
I couldn't wait anymore, I got into his pants literally, and took his penis in my mouth eagerly. He wiggled until we were in some kind of side by side sixty nine and began to jerk me off. Mmh, that was pretty nice.
As I was sucking on him, I tentatively rubbed a finger along his scrotum, going as far as his anus, and since I got no reaction except moans, I began to make little circles around the tight muscle. I felt him stiffen and stopped.
His member was starting to leak precum, and I accelerated my ministrations, until Mail was practically taking my mouth, his hips moving up and down. I resumed stroking his anus but he didn't protest this time, I guess he was too much caught in the oral I was giving to him, and masturbating me at the same time. He was doing good because I was very, very close to completion. Every guy has its own way to go about it but I guess Mail and me had similar ways since he was doing exactly what I would have done for myself.
I came faster than I expected, and my finger that was around his anus, slick with the saliva running along his member, probed him to the knuckle. I hadn't really realised I was doing it, but I guess my mind wanted to... My index curled and I could feel his prostate along with the contractions of the tight ring, and he suddenly came into my mouth, hard and long.
"Mihael..." Mail whispered, and I could tell he was as shocked as he was high.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I just..."
"No, it's ok, I mean, it was great. I... just don't know if I want something like this, that's all... It seems so weird to me... It's not you, I had a girl doing that to me and it's just very uncomfortable as a situation to me."
"A girl probed your ass? Now that's interesting honey." I couldn't help but tease him. So I guess it was the typical 'don't-touch-my-asshole' guy thing, like the forbidden area because guys don't do that and so on... "I promise I won't do it unless you ask me ok?"
"Ok."
Mail smiled and kissed me before standing up and heading for the bathroom to clean himself from my cum.
Matt
It was nice, walking hand in hand in Berlin streets with Mihael. We got stares but overall I was quite comfortable with us as a couple, publicly I mean.
Sexually pleased and a belly full of german food, life was great right now.
I still hadn't found something I wanted to buy for my mother but we had a few hours left before the stores would close. I had a nice leather case for my father's tools when he was called for a wheel change or small interventions like that, since his was so worn out that the seams had long gone and everything was always falling off.
We reached the main shopping street at some point, and Mihael laughed at me when I tried to pronounce it's name.
"Kurfürstendamm, that's easy!" he mocked me, delighting me with his sexy german accent. You would think that German is a language that could be rude to hear, and sometimes it was, in the mouth of old persons in some of the stores we had visited, but Mihael's way of speaking German was fluid and softer, it didn't sound that hard, "Call it Ku'damm like everyone here." he winked at me.
We entered a woman clothing store in hope of finding something for my mother. My eyes fell on a very beautiful dress. A yellow summer dress, made of a very light and soft fabric, with a delicate white embroidery at the hem and thin straps. It reminded me of a 50's cinema star dress and I could very well imagine my mother wearing it with a matching ribbon holding her hair.
I checked the price tag, and put the dress back on the rack. But Mihael took it back. I opened my mouth but he cut me straight: "Don't you dare protesting, this dress is perfect and you're buying it."
He handed me his credit card. "Three seven nine two".
I looked at him puzzled.
"The code. Three seven nine two."
He pushed me in the direction of the cashiers. I paid for the dress, totally stunned that he trusted me to the point he gave me his code so it was kind of like if I paid myself.
"Mihael, I just don't want you to think I'm with you because of money... I'm not at easy with you bringing me to a five stars hotel, then paying for all my expenses and even the presents for my parents..." I was really uneasy with all this, even knowing that he could largely afford it. It was not an excuse.
"Consider this as a present to my parents-in-law then." he smirked at me, knowing all too well he would put another topic in my mind to distract me from the one we were talking about.
My mouth opened and closed several times but I had nothing to reply to that, so Mihael gave me a butterfly kiss and pulled me to a Starbucks for some coffee. I guess it was useless to contradict him...
Since we had found everything for my parents, plus some chocolates and games, we just settled in the coffee shop, next to a window, and sipped our drinks, observing people outside.
"Are you sad to leave?" I asked Mihael at some point.
"Not really, I'm kinda eager to go back to LA and get back to normal, I don't belong here anymore, I guess this trip to my parents had at least the merit to make me understand that." he replied sincerely, and I was happy to feel that there really was no hint of regret in the tone of his voice. "I wondered, before coming here, if I would come back to Germany after I graduated, to find a job, but now I'm sure I won't."
I smiled. I had been afraid that someday he would leave the US forever, because I wasn't sure I would have been able to follow him, so I was sort of reassured now.
"And I'm impatient to see what you have in store for the date you asked me on." Oh the grin on his face. I'd better make it great to meet his expectations...