Whispered, bickering voices bring me out of a really nice dream early on Christmas morning.
"Is she awake?"
"I don't know, go see."
"No way, she clocked me last time, you go see."
"Rock, Paper, Scissors?"
"Ugh, fine…"
I stifle a giggle underneath the covers. Jamie always suggests Rock, Paper, Scissors because he knows Jared can't help choosing scissors every time.
"Man! You suck." Jared hisses. Some things never change.
I hear his socks shuffling against the floorboards as he approaches the bed. Pretending I'm still asleep, I keep my breathing even. When I feel the warmth of his breath closer to my face I snake my arm out from under the blanket and yank him into a bear hug, pulling his struggling form under the covers. He starts giggling like a loon and kicking his feet.
"No fair! If I'd have known she would be nice I wouldn't have wasted a round of Rock, Paper, Scissors!" Jamie jumps onto the foot of the bed, bouncing up and down like he did when he was five.
"Just look at them," Dad's voice comes from the open doorway. "Almost twenty-two and fifteen, yet they still act like toddlers just because it's Christmas morning."
"Leave them be. My babies can stay babies for as long as they want," Mom says as she leans against Dad's shoulder.
Jared finally wiggles free and jumps off the bed. "Merry Christmas! Can we open presents now?"
Dad gives Mom a questions look. She just shrugs. "We were thinking of starting a new tradition this year and waiting for the whole family to get here for dinner before you guys open any presents.
"What?!" Jared, Jamie and I all exclaim at the same time. "Come on Dad, it takes forever to open presents with the rest of the family already. This is total b—" I jump up and clamp a hand over Jamie's mouth before he makes things worse.
"But Daddy, I really wanted you to open the gift I bought for you. Can we please open presents now?" I say sweetly.
"Oh, she's good. Broke out the 'Daddy' and everything," Mom comments.
"Did it work?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.
They look at each other, then back at us. Dad folds his arms before he speaks. "Sure. Let's go. We were messing with your heads anyway. Since none of you believe in Santa anymore, we need some way to entertain ourselves, you know."
"That's just cruel, old man," Jamie says as he passes Dad on his way into the hall.
"Who are you calling old, ya little shit?" Dad calls after him. I hear his feet jogging down the hall and laugh when Jamie swears, laughs, and starts to run too.
"Boys! No bloodshed on Christmas, damn it!" Mom yells after them. "Come on, you two. Let's get down there before they kill each other."
Later, after all of the wrapping paper is cleaned up and we've polished off the entire dozen cinnamon buns mom baked fresh this morning, I spend the afternoon helping mom with dinner preparations in the kitchen.
"So how was dinner last night? You got home so late, we didn't get to talk." She hands me a knife so that I can chop celery for the stuffing while she peels a mountain of potatoes.
"It was really nice. Except for the part when Dean's dad showed up and basically insinuated that I should use Dean for his family's money. Then Dean knocked him on his ass and his stepdad made him apologize to me before throwing him out of the house. Oh, and when I say house? I mean mansion. You've got to see this place mom. It's insane. There are at least seven bedrooms, and they've got a pool, their own pond, tennis courts—"
Mom cuts me off with a look of shock on her face. "Back up. He said what? I'll kill him. Scratch that, your father can kill him while I hold him down."
"It's fine, Mom! I promise. He barely got the words out before he was put down. I have a feeling Dean and his family are going to fit right in around here. Apparently, you don't mess with their family. And…well, they called me part of their family." I admit, concentrating hard on the minuscule bits of celery that I've minced in front of me.
"I'm glad you've got a man in your life who isn't afraid to stick up for you. I know you think you have to do everything on your own, fight your own battles, but sometimes it's nice to have someone in your corner ready to tag in when the need arises." She picks up the peeler and turns her attention back to the potatoes, but something passed over her face that doesn't make me think she's done with the conversation.
"What is it, Mom?"
"Nothing that we need to worry about right now, sweetie." She doesn't lift her gaze at all.
I put the knife down and lean back against the counter next to her with my arms crossed. When she finally looks up, I give her a questioning look. She drops the peeler and turns around so we're shoulder to shoulder. It takes a moment for her to psych herself up for whatever she's about to say, and I know from experience I'm about to get a lecture. Bracing myself, I meet her eyes.
"Jessie, you know I think Dean is a very sweet boy. He's polite, he's got direction in life, he knows what he wants and is making it happen—without falling back on his family's influence. I admire that about him. And he clearly cares about my daughter, which is definitely a check in the plus column. But baby, you're not even twenty-two. You've got another year and a half of school left, and you have no idea what you want to do with yourself after graduation."
I look away because the emotion in my eyes will betray the frustration I'm trying to hide. "You and Dad were married by the time you were my age, remember?"
"Jessica, there is so much you don't know, don't understand, about what our lives were like at that time…" She trails off, squeezing her eyes closed and scrubbing her hands over her face.
"Did you love Dad when you got married?"
"Of course I did. I would never have married him if I didn't."
"Then what does it matter what the circumstances were?" I cut her off before she can counter my argument. "Oh my God, what are we even talking about? Look, I have no intention of getting married right now. This is still new for us. Dean would probably pass out in shock if he knew we were even having this conversation. I just want to enjoy my relationship. If things are headed that way…well, they'll get there when they get there."
Her deep sigh signifies that she's giving up. "Alright Jessie. You're right. I'm being a hypocrite. It just scares me a little to see how intense you are about each other. But, I'll lay off. Just please, don't run off to Vegas and get married without telling me. And NO BABIES! I'm way too young to be a grandmother."
"Who's going to be a grandmother?!" Aunt Mer bursts through the back door, loaded down with packages.
"Shh! America! Travis is probably in the other room," Mom scolds her and takes two large bags out of her hands. "No one is going to be a grandmother. I'm just lecturing Jessie on the finer points of contraception."
"Bag it up girlfriend, better safe than sorry!" Aunt Mer's wisdom can't be beat. She nearly strangles me in an enthusiastic hug and plants a kiss on my cheek. She and Mom haul the load of gifts into the family room to place them under the tree and I just shake my head.
"Jesus, you've got to be kidding me." I roll my eyes go back to chopping celery.
When they come back into the kitchen after stowing the gifts, she sidles up to me and snags a stalk of celery, taking a healthy bite. "So when do we get to meet lover boy?"
"Well, I've already met him. He's a hottie. You'll love him, Mer."
"Mom! Seriously?" My eyes bug out at her uncomfortably awkward description of my boyfriend.
"Oh, get over it kid. This is what moms and aunts and best friends who qualify as aunts are for. If we didn't embarrass you, they'd kick us out of the club." Aunt Mer taps me on the head with the celery and moves to check on the turkey roasting in the oven.
"Well since you've got your sidekick, can I go get ready? Everyone is going to be here in a little over an hour." I beg to get out of this bizarre conversation.
"Beat it, nerd. I can take it from here." Aunt Mer shoves me towards the hall and Mom laughs at her. "Oh yeah, you'll be a lot of help. You burn pasta."
"That was ONE time!"
I crack up at the two of them, still bickering like sisters after three decades of friendship, as I climb the stairs.
I decide to keep it casual today with black leggings, knee-high brown boots, and a cream colored cable knit sweater, since my family would likely make a big deal if I got all dressed up. I pin my hair to the side so that the curls that lasted through the night hang messily over my shoulder. I keep my makeup light with just a little mascara and some light pink gloss. Heels clicking rapidly down the hall draw my attention to the door just as it opens.
"Jessie! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" My younger cousin Jia tackles me to my bed. Three years my junior, you'd never know it with how close we were. She was my only real girl friend growing up, even though she lives a few hours away. She's the perfect blend of hyper girly girl and ass kicker. She doesn't have to utilize the latter too often though. I'm sure the fact that she's gorgeous is a factor. Her dad, my Uncle Tommy, looks just like a male version of Grandmom Diane, and Aunt Liis is a stunning blend of Asian and Irish. Those two gene pools got together and created Jia. She's short but with an athletic, yet still feminine, build. Her thick, sable hair hangs down to her waist, although today she has it pulled up in a high ponytail. Almond shaped, emerald green eyes are sparkling with amusement as she pulls me back to my feet. "Sorry, I got a little too excited."
"Nothing new for you there," I tease. "What's so exciting?"
"I just caught a glimpse of your man and, holy hell, he's a fabulous male specimen."
"Wait, Dean's here?" I start for the door but she grabs my arm, pulling me back.
"No sense rushing. You're not getting near him any time soon. But lets talk about this brother of his. Total hottie. Is he single?"
"Jia, what do you mean, I'm not getting near him any time soon? What's going on down there?"
"The uncles took him to the basement about ten minutes ago. The official grilling has begun. Now about this brother…" She's relentless but I'm panicking. I really don't want my uncles and my dad putting Dean through some ridiculous, macho, misogynistic initiation ritual to see if he's good enough for me. Or worse, they could scare him away all together.
"Sure, yeah, I think Danny's single. But forget him right now. You have to sneak down there with me so we can eavesdrop." I pull her to my window and open it wide.
"Girl, have you seen this skirt? These heels? You expect me to shimmy my butt out of that window? You've got to be kidding me."
I decide to pull out the big guns. "Want me to put a good word in for you with Danny?"
She narrows her eyes at me, tapping her foot in consideration. "Well played."
I slip out of the window first. It's only a couple feet down, which isn't so bad. I think it's funny that when I was a teenager I had no interested in sneaking out or sneaking people in using the convenience of my window, yet over the past week I've taken advantage of it twice. I help Jia out of the window and we creep alongside the house to the side window that opens up underneath the basement stairs.
"Okay, I'm just going to jimmy it open, then we should be able to hear what's going on. They won't be able to see us since the window is tucked behind the stairs."
"I hope I'm never this looney tunes over a guy. You're so lucky I'm wearing tights. It is freezing out here! We can't stay long." She rubs her hands up and down her arms while I lay flat on my stomach to work the window open from the outside.
"Hey, at least the snow melted." I say, sliding my fingers into the tiny opening and attempting to open it the rest of the way without making any noise. I hear my uncles Taylor and Tyler laughing loudly and obnoxiously. When the window finally reaches the top, I'm able to poke my head in a little and I can hear their conversation.
"Jackpot! Get down here," I stage whisper to Jia.
Kicking up a silent fuss, she crouches down to sit next to the window and tilts her head towards the opening, clearly not willing to ruin her outfit in the name of espionage.
I can hear the faint sound of Trent Reznor's voice singing low in the background, and the telltale flapping of cards being shuffled and tapped against the poker table Dad has set up in the corner of the basement. Confused, I lean in through the opening in the window. Jia opens her mouth to protest but I warn her with my eyes to keep quiet so we aren't heard.
"Ante up fellas," Jamie says.
"Hands above the table Tyler, you're not getting away with that shit again," Uncle Tommy warns. Uncle Tyler must be up to his old tricks again. He tends to keep an extra Ace hidden here or there on occasion.
"Yeah, yeah. Just deal the cards."
"Alright Dean, here's how this goes down. You wanna stay in the game, you answer the questions. Don't even think about lying. Thomas here is like a human lie detector. Got it?" Dad asks. Now I get it. They lured him into a game so they could give him the third degree on their terms.
"I'm an open book, Mr. Maddox. I've got nothing to hide." Deans voice floats through the window and I get little butterflies in my stomach just knowing he's so close.
"There's too many Maddox men in here to be going with that mister shit, kid. You can stick with 'Travis', 'kay?"
"Okay then." Dean says with the hint of a smile in his voice.
They must be tossing in their bets because I hear chips clinking together as they hit the table. Danny and Pop's voices shout in unison about a ref having his head up his ass. They must be watching the football game on the flatscreen instead of playing poker with everyone else. I look back at Jia and she rolls her eyes at me. Scooting further through the window, my chest is resting against the windowsill but the voices are even clearer now.
"You do any drugs, Dean?" This question comes from Uncle Trent.
"Nope. Never have. It's not my thing." Good answer.
"How about drinking?" Uncle Taylor this time.
"Socially. It's not something I can't live without though. And before you ask, I never get behind the wheel if I'm drinking. Even if I'm just buzzed." Another point for Dean.
"Ever been arrested?" Uncle Tommy asks.
"Nope. Never pulled over either." Dean replies.
"So you drive like a pussy is what you're telling us?" Uncle Tyler scoffs and asks for two more cards.
"No, I just know where the speed traps are and I wouldn't risk my car."
They seem to appreciate that answer and get off on a tangent about engines and the car versus bike debate. My arms are getting tired from holding myself up. I try to shake them out a bit to get the blood flowing without making too much noise.
"What is it that made you fall for my Jessie, Dean?" Pop asks.
There's a pregnant pause and I am all ears. "Honestly? There are so many things about your granddaughter that I'm in love with, I don't think I could pinpoint one. She's probably got the smartest mouth on a girl that I've encountered, on either coast. She's tough as nails but she doesn't make you feel like…"
"Like a pussy?" Uncle Taylor offers.
Dean barks out a laugh. "Yeah, I guess that's about right. She's too intelligent for her own good, and I can tell when she's trying to analyze a situation because she stops talking and gets completely lost inside her own head. She's beautiful, beyond words kind of beautiful. And she throws a damn good right hook."
"Know that from experience, do ya?" Pop asks with a chuckle.
"Just from afar, sir." Dean laughs along with him.
"Are you in a sexual relationship with my daughter?" Oh Jesus. Really dad? Really? There are coughs echoing around the room and I'm sure dad just made my uncles choke on their beer. I lean further in the window, my stomach resting against the window sill and my hands holding me up against the wall. Please, please, please change the subject!
"With all due respect sir, you can ask anything you want about me and I'll tell you what you want to know with no hesitation. But I'm not going to talk about intimate details of my relationship with your daughter. Just like I wouldn't talk about them with my friends either. I know you're her father, but I'm not comfortable talking about something Jessie wouldn't want me discussing with you or anyone else."
The silence is deafening. All I can hear is the low hum of the crowd on TV and the guitar licks coming from the stereo. No one puts my dad in his place. Like, no one. Except Mom. I panic and scoot closer, willing my dad not to kill the man I'm in love with.
"Good for you, kid. You pass. For now." Dad warns. "And just so you know, I'm not an idiot. I know my daughter is a twenty-one year old woman and she can take care of herself. But don't let me find out you've taken advantage of her or hurt her in any way. Because do you see the men at this table? They're as good as fathers to that girl too, and we'll all hunt you down."
"Understood. And I raise you five." Chips hit the table and I sigh with relief. Probably the wrong move though, because my arms slip and I can no longer support my weight. I've slid too far through the window and the majority of my body is hanging through the window. I try to kick my feet and shift my center of gravity back through the window but I'm slipping slowly with nowhere to grasp for help.
"Shit! Jia!" I whisper-yell. She grabs my legs but she's not strong enough to pull me back through the window.
"Damn it! Shit!" I'm slipping face first towards the floor when I feel hands grab me around the waist. I can't see anything but the wall so I have no idea who caught me.
"Jessie!" Jia calls through the window when my legs slide the rest of the way through. Whoever has grabbed me has tossed my legs over their shoulder and I'm hanging upside down facing away from them.
"Looks like we've got a spy on our hands, boys." I'm suddenly facing the table full of the men in my family, plus Dean, and if it were possible for an entire body to turn red, I'm sure mine just did.
"Trent, put my baby girl down before you drop her on her nosy little head." Pop shouts from the couch with Danny.
Uncle Trent flips me forward and I land on my feet. Standing, I straighten my sweater and turn to face the six sets of eyes on me at the poker table, plus two more sets peering over the back of the couch.
I give them all a wide, innocent smile. "So…deal me in?"