DEAN:
Watching Jessie sleep is probably one of the few times in my life that I'm totally at peace. It's also probably the creepiest thing I could be doing right now, but that's neither here nor there.
It's not like I could actually sleep much after what went down last night. I'd tossed and turned for a couple of hours thinking about the turn my life had suddenly taken. Somehow in the course of one evening, a person I'd spent the last several years thinking of as a friend, a good friend, had become something I can't even put into words. A would-be rapist, a coward, a piece of garbage who puts his hands on women in anger. It is still damn near impossible for me to reconcile Jackson with the scumbag who attacked my girlfriend. But he admitted it. He didn't even try to deny it. I don't know that it would've been better or worse had he tried to back peddle or talk his way out of it. We'd still be exactly where we are right now. But I'm not going to let him taint our relationship, or anything else in our lives. I'm not going to fixate on him. Not when I have much better things to fixate on.
Sighing, I run my hand down the length of Jessie's long, brown hair spilling down her back and over her shoulders onto the pillow. It's one of my favorite things about her. The way she tosses it up into a big mess on top of her head, or when it's all wavy and crazy spiraling around her beautiful face, or just silky and smooth flowing down her back. God, I'm such a pussy. Can't help it though. I love this girl. I love everything about her. Especially her hair, so it would seem. Or maybe it's just the plans that have been rolling around in my head for the last week that have me thinking like a pansy about her hair, and her eyes, her lips… Okay, now I'm hovering over perv territory. Time to get up. And by up I mean out of this bed.
Leaning down, I kiss the side of her head and pull the sheet higher to cover her bare skin. Tugging on a pair of jeans from the pile of clothes at the foot of my bed, I grab everything I need for my morning plans and shove it into my pockets. I creep stealthily to Jesse's side of the bed and snag something off the end table that is absolutely essential to the trip I'm making this morning. With one last look at the girl who has turned my entire world upside down in just a few short months, I close the door quietly and make my way downstairs.
Passing Danny's door on the way, I poke my head in and whisper-yell to him, "Hey, get your ass outta bed. Got shit to do and I want you with me. Let's go." I hear him groan followed by a muffled, "Fuck off." So I say, a little louder this time, "It's for Jessie." I think he throws a pillow in the general direction of the door but I know Danny will do what I ask. He's kinda great like that. I also know he feels guilty about everything with Jackson, er, Will, so he'll do anything for Jessie at this point just to make it up to her.
When I round the corner into the kitchen, I find my mom sitting at the counter in her bathrobe. The sound of coffee dripping into the pot reaches my ears about a second before the smell hits me.
"You're a saint." I say, grabbing two mugs from the hooks above the coffeemaker. Thinking about Danny stumbling down shortly, I reach for a third.
"I doubt brewing coffee qualifies me for sainthood. Not clocking you for making me wake up this close to dawn on New Year's Day, now that might do it." Mom is beside me now and she nudges me out of the way with her shoulder. I take the hint and go sit in the seat next to hers, patiently waiting.
A minute later she joins me with two mugs. She looks so tired that I feel a twinge of guilt at making her get up this early after she worked so hard on the party last night. Unfortunately, I couldn't really do this without her. She'll forgive me once she knows the reason. At least, I hope she does.
"The sun has only been up a few minutes longer than I have, sweet child of mine, so get on with it."
I smile into the mug as I take a deep sip, preparing. "I need you to get something from the safe for me."
That's got her attention. She turns her whole body to face me and looks me dead in the eyes so that I have no choice but to be straight with her. "And what would you be needing from the safe?"
Suck it up man, this is the easiest part of your day. "Grandma's ring."
The silence lingers for several beats before her sharp intake of breath breaks it. Her eyes fill and I'm afraid that I was completely off the mark with how I thought my mom would take this. Then the corners of her mouth begin to creep up higher and higher until the beaming smile splits her face and the tears spill over. Leaping off the chair, she throws her arms around me and rocks me from side to side, sob-laughing over my shoulder.
"Easy, mom." I pat her back in an attempt to calm her down a little.
She pulls back and takes my face in her hands, eyes on mine. "You're sure, baby? Don't take that the wrong way. I love Jessie like she were my own daughter already. I just have to ask, are you sure?"
I take her wrists in my hands and pour my heart out like she's always managed to get me to do. "Mom, I have never been more sure about anything. Ever. In my entire life, nothing has felt more right. She's everything. Everything I've always wanted and everything I'll ever want."
If it's possible, the smile stretches even further and she's hopping up and down like a kid in line to see Santa. "My baby is getting married!"
"Woah, woah. Calm down, Mom. I'm not even sure when I'm going to ask her, and she still has to say yes. I just want it to be right. And I want to have the ring with me so that I don't miss my moment. I'm putting everything in place so that when the time is right, I don't have anything in my way. We still have a year left of school, there's a lot to figure out. So don't start picking out china patterns just yet, okay?"
"China patterns for what?"
For a second my stomach drops down to my feet, but then I realize it's just Danny.
"Talk to your brother, I'm going to get that thing we were talking about before anyone else wakes up." Mom shuffles out of the room but I can hear her giddy squeal as she makes her way down the hall to her office.
"You better have a damn good reason for getting me out of bed after like three hours of sleep." Danny grumbles and plops himself into a chair at the counter.
"I told you it had to do with Jessie, didn't I?" I hand him a mug of coffee and he perks up marginally as he sips it black.
"Yeah, which is the only reason you're seeing my ass in this kitchen right now."
"Well, I need your help with something today. It's important, and it's not something you can go shooting your mouth off to other people about," I warn.
"Spit it out. My cup is almost empty and I'm losing patience." He waves the mug, gesturing for me to continue.
"Well, I'm—"
"Here we go!" Mom jogs back into the kitchen with a royal blue velvet box in her hand.
"What the hell?" Danny eyes the box as Mom places it in my hand.
"Take good care of this, Dean. It's been in our family for three generations."
"Isn't that…" Danny stares at the box in my hand as I flip the lid.
"Grandma's engagement ring." The diamond reflects the dim lighting from the kitchen in all it's facets. It's a large oval shaped diamond with a bunch of tiny diamonds circling it. The band splits in two where it connects to the main diamond and has tiny chips lining it. Medium sized diamonds are tucked in between the lines of platinum before they merge to form the rest of the band. I immediately imagine it on Jessie's finger and beam at the image.
"Holy shit, you're gonna propose?" Danny breaks through my thoughts.
"Yes, but not today, so keep it down." I snap the lid shut and tuck the ring carefully into my pocket.
"Dude…This is huge. I can't believe it. I mean, yeah. Yeah, it totally makes sense. She's a great girl, and she doesn't take shit from anyone—especially not you, so that gives her major points in my book. Man, I'm happy for ya. I think you two are definitely meant for the long haul." He slaps my shoulder and pulls me in for a hug and I swallow a few times to get rid of the lump in my throat. Danny and I have been through a lot together and it means the world that he approves of my choice—no that loving Jessie has ever been much of a choice. I'm hers. I have been from the day I laid eyes on her.
"So what do you need me for today?" he asks.
"Well, I didn't think Grandma's sausage fingers would be the same size as Jessie's, so I swiped the ring she was wearing last night and I want to get to a jeweler to get this thing sized before we head back to school."
"Hey, watch it. That's my mother you're talking about," Mom scolds, looking up from the mixing bowl she just started dumping ingredients into.
"Sorry Mom, but Grandma has linebacker hands," Danny jokes. She just shakes her head and goes about her mixing. "I'm down to go with you, but isn't that something you could've done by yourself?"
"That's not the main reason we're going out. I talked to Jessie's dad last night before he left. I'm meeting him at his brother's shop to 'talk' which is when I'm going to ask him for permission to propose. I need you there in case he tries to kill me." I can't even feign amusement because there is a very real possibility that that is exactly what he'll do when I open my mouth.
"Yeah, have you seen that guy? If he's hellbent on killing you, there's not much I'll be able to do except scrape up your remains. But shit, I'm in. I could use some entertainment in my life right about now."
I know Danny is referring to everything that happened last night and I agree that we all need to get our minds off things. This is as good a way as any.
"So it's settled. We'll drop off the ring to get sized, then meet up with Jessie's dad," I say, turning to the entryway. I stop short in my tracks when I see Kelsey's pitch black hair poking around the wall. Her jaw is practically unhinged and hanging low while her eyes bug out at the two of us.
"Did you say ring? He said ring, didn't he?" she asks Mom who just bites her lip and looks to me for direction. "Oh. My. God. Are you going to propose?!" she screeches and I cringe, glancing toward the staircase.
"Kelsey please, you have to keep this to yourself. Please. I'm begging you. I want this to be special for Jessie when I decide to do it, which isn't going to be right now or any time in the near future most likely. I'm just getting things lined up for when I do decide to do it."
"But, you have a ring." It's more of a statement than a question.
"Yes, I have a ring. It was my grandmother's and it came to me, and I'm going to give it to Jessie. If she'll have me."
"Show me! Omigod, I have to see it. I promise, I'll keep my mouth shut, I won't say a word, but you have to show me the ring!"
I sigh and shake my head, looking to Danny for any assistance. He provides nothing but a shoulder shrug. Thanks bro. Resigned, I reach into my pocket and pull out the box, flipping open the lid.
The sound that escapes Kelsey's throat would've been deafening had she not covered her mouth in anticipation. Instead, it comes out sounding like a strangled cat.
"Oh Dean, oh she's going to love it! It's so big, and pretty, and sparkly!" I close the box and quickly tuck it away before any other wandering guests decide to stumble into the room and join the conversation.
"Thanks Kelsey, now you promised. Not a word. I have to get to the jeweler and then face the firing squad with Jessie's dad so I'm not going to be around to keep an eye on you. You have to swear." I give her the firmest, most serious look I can muster so that she knows how serious I am.
"I swear. I wouldn't ruin the happiest day of my best friend's life. I won't tell her. I'll pretend I don't even know where you went this morning." She crosses her heart, holding her right hand up in the air.
"Thanks. Let's get going before anyone else wakes up." I nod to Danny and we head out. I can still hear Kelsey and my mom talking about borrowing clothes for the day as I'm closing the door behind us.
"You really ready to face her dad? He's one tough son of a bitch." Danny asks as we get settled in my car.
"Ready as I'll ever be. I figure, if he loses his shit, we're leaving in three days so I just have to stay alive that long then I'll be safely on the west coast."
"You're assuming he would let you get that far."
Leave it to Danny to be the ever-positive voice of reason.
"So we're picking the ring up on Monday morning before our flight leaves. Cutting it a little close, bro." Danny says as we ride down the treelined streets to Jessie's uncle's garage.
"Yeah, well, I couldn't exactly be picky. The guy opened up his shop on a holiday for me. At least I'll have it before we go back to school." I nervously tap along to the song on the radio as I take the last turn and pull up to the garage entrance. Shifting into park, I let the car idle for a minute. When I feel my resolve slipping, Danny twists the key in the ignition and yanks it free.
"Let's go. You're not gonna do it if you sit here thinking about it any longer. Sack up. It's game time." He lifts himself out of the car and slams the door, leaving me to contemplate the carefully crafted speech that I've been rehearsing in my head all morning. Really, if I'm being honest, I've been rehearsing for the last few days.
Jesus, stop being such a bitch. The man can probably smell fear and you reek of it. I follow Danny up the short driveway into the open garage. Jessie's dad and uncle both have their heads buried under the hood of a vintage Firebird.
"'73?" I ask.
"Good eye, kid." Mr. Maddox straightens up and grabs a towel to get rid of some of the grease coating his hands. "No idea how, but this guy over here managed to get his hands on an original SD-455 so we're finally getting around to restoring the old girl."
"Damn, I wish I was gonna be around longer. I'd love to get in on an original engine rebuild on a car like this." I move closer and lean in to get a better look under the hood.
"Need a towel, Dean? I think you're drooling." Leave it to Danny.
"No shame in gettin' excited over a fine piece of machinery like this one," Mr. Maddoc says, slapping a hand on my shoulder.
"He's just pissed because he doesn't know a head gasket from a spark plug." I cast a sideways glare over at Danny. He's supposed to be backing me up, not making me look like a tool before I sit down and ask this man if I can propose to his daughter.
"Aw man. Kid, you've got me rethinking my bets for next season." Jessie's uncle ribs Danny and they get to talking about new players and draft options. I take this opportunity to, as Danny said, 'sack up' and talk to Jessie's dad.
"So Mr. Maddox, can we talk, in private maybe?" I ask as he closes the hood of the car.
"Only if you cut the 'Mr. Maddox' shit. I told you kid, it's Travis. No need to be so formal." I hope he still feels the same twenty minutes from now. "Come on, it's about time I go for my weekly smoke. You can walk with me."
I shove my hands into my pockets and nod at Danny, letting him know I'll be back. Hopefully he gets my subliminal message that if I'm not back in half an hour to send the search party to look for my body.
Travis pulls a sad looking pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his leather jacket. "Pidge and I have an understanding. I get one smoke a week and she gets to feel proud of herself for getting me to mostly quit."
"Does it really do anything for you? One cigarette a week, I mean?" I ask, curious.
"I usually save it for something that's either high stress or pisses me off. Considering you asked me to meet you this morning and now we're talking privately I have a feeling this conversation is gonna qualify for one or both of those." He offers me the pack and I shake my head, never having been much of a fan of smoking.
"So, let's hear it," he says, striking a match and lighting the cigarette in his mouth.
I try to compose myself and bring the well thought out words to the forefront of my brain, but suddenly they've all gone MIA. I start to panic internally. Then I start to panic externally.
"Woah kid, take a breath. You look like I just held a gun to your head and told you to jump out of a plane without a chute." He slaps me on the back a couple of times, just hard enough to get me to take a step back from being on the verge of hyperventilating.
I breathe deep and hold it for a few seconds before I let it out in a rush. My body mustn't have gotten the correct message because, along with the breath, a flood of words spill out.
"Mr. Maddox—Travis, I love your daughter. I know you already know that, but I just wanted to remind you because I'm pretty sure you need to hear that first before you hear what I need to say next. I know we haven't been together for a really long time, and I know we're still young, but when you know, you know right? And I know. I do. I won't ever love anyone the way that I love Jessie. I don't even want to think about being with someone other than her. That's why I wanted to talk to you in private. You are such a big part of who Jessie is, and who she wants to be. I wouldn't think of doing anything without coming to you first. So, I'm coming to you now."
The air between us is so heavy I'm expecting to hear a clap of thunder and feel a lightning bolt strike my ass any minute now. He isn't saying anything and the feelings of panic and dread start to come back. Why isn't he saying anything? I stop walking and look at him expectantly. He squints at me through a puff of smoke before he drops the cigarette to the ground and crushes it with his boot.
"What exactly is it that you're coming to me for, son?"
Shit. I didn't actually ask him anything did I? "Well, I want to, not now, but in the future. Not, like, the distant future, but some time soon, but not too soon…" I'm floundering and I'd give anything to feel Jessie's hand in mine right now. Just her touch is enough to ground me. Holding onto that thought, I take one last deep breath and put all my cards on the table. "I'd like your permission to propose to Jessie. I want to marry your daughter, sir."
If it were night, there'd be nothing but the sound of crickets. Somehow the silence between us seems a little hollow. I feel like the crickets would give it a boost. Travis crosses his arms over his chest and just sort of stares at me for a minute. It feels more like an hour, but what do I know? I've been frozen in place since the last word left my mouth.
As I'm about to unleash a new torrent of word vomit, he finally speaks. "That took a lot out of you, huh kid?"
"You have no idea." I laugh nervously.
"You're right. I don't. When Jessie's mom and I got married, we didn't ask anyone's permission. We didn't even tell anyone. We made a decision, hopped a flight to Vegas, and within 48 hours she was my wife."
"Sounds like you knew what you wanted and went for it," I say.
"We were an act-first-think-later kind of couple back then. A lot of things have changed over the years. But one thing that has stayed the same is how crazy I am about that woman. When we first got together I was always afraid it wouldn't last. Not that I didn't love her, God knows I loved her—and still do—more than my own life, but it took me a while to find that certainty that it was going to last forever. That I wasn't going to fuck it all up."
I'm not sure why he's telling me all of this. Does he think I'm not thinking it through enough?
"My point is, even when Abby and I ran off and got married, I still wasn't as certain about everything as you seem to be right now. Standing in front of me, likely scared shitless, asking me for permission to marry my daughter. That takes some balls, kid. I'll give you that. I respect that." He extends his hand in front of him and I stare at it for a second before my brain kicks into gear and sends the message to my hand to reach out and shake it.
"I've gotten to know you, and I know what my daughter sees in you is genuine. If I didn't think that, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. I'm assuming you're not planning to swoop my baby girl off to Vegas like some dumbass kids I once knew. You've got a good head on your shoulders and a big heart. I know my daughter. If she says yes, you deserve it. So I'll leave it up to her. When you're ready to ask her, you ask her. You have my blessing."
Well then. There it is. I've got Travis Maddox's permission to marry his daughter. Way easier than I thought it would be. Too easy. Now I just have to get her to say yes.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed a little taste of Dean's perspective! Let me know what you thought and maybe I'll throw in a couple more along the way.
Oh and thank you all for the birthday wishes! :) Much appreciated! Until next time... XOXO -S