Ok so I haven't gone back yet to make the changes to the story in the parts where it speaks about Sandor's past as Joffrey's bodyguard. I just have to change it and say that even though he had always known him he started being Joff's bodyguard when the brat was 12 instead of 4. That is still a lot of time, in my opinion.
The title of the chapter comes from the song Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx. I couldn't stop thinking about that song while writing the second part of this chapter!
Enjoy!
32. Oceans Apart Day After Day.
Sandor returned to the Casterly Rock mansion after having been several hours running errands in Lannisport. It had already been a week since he arrived in Casterly Rock, a week since Sansa and Joffrey had left... Sandor tried to keep himself as busy as he could to try to take his mind off them, but he couldn't. Every five minutes Sansa appeared in his mind again to torment him, and he wondered, full of dread, how she would be. Was she fine? That was a stupid question, of course. How could she be fine? But he wanted to think that she was better than the voice in the back if his head told him that she was. He didn't know how he was going to go by one more week without seeing her, without speaking to her, without knowing anything about her. He had heard some of the Lannisters saying that they had talked with Joffrey on the phone and that everything was fine, but he couldn't believe them.
Sandor entered the mansion and closed the door behind him, and he immediately heard voices coming from the parlor. He wasn't going to see who was there, it was none of his business, he just wanted to go to his room. He walked towards the staircase at the end of the hall, but when he did so he crossed in front of the open door of the parlor, and Governor Tywin Lannister called him. Sandor entered the parlor and walked towards the couch where the elder Lannister was sitting.
"Sir," Sandor said, bowing his head a little bit.
"Did you do what I told you?"
"Aye, sir."
"Good."
It was just then that Sandor noticed who was there with Governor Lannister. His daughter Cersei sat next to him on the couch, and his son Tyrion was sitting alone on an armchair. Jaime wasn't there because he was not in the city. In the couch in front of Tywin and Cersei were sitting three of the Tyrells: Margaery, her brother Loras, and their grandmother Olenna. Sandor was greatly surprised when he saw that Margaery's belly was flat; she was no longer pregnant.
"Hello, Sandor," Margaery said to him with a big smile. She had seen the man so many times with Joffrey that she acted friendly to him now. He said hello back to her, and then he greeted the other two Tyrells.
He didn't know what they were doing there, though he supposed that they were visiting because the Lannisters and Tyrells had been very close recently. Of course, being just a bodyguard, he didn't ask nor did he expect to receive any explanations. He didn't want them anyways.
He excused himself and left the parlor. He walked up the stairs and went to the second floor, where his room was at the end of the hall. He was walking there when suddenly he heard voices coming from one of the biggest guest rooms, not far from where he was. He decided to ignore them but he froze when he heard the cry of a baby.
He stared at the door of the room from which the sound was coming from. He could hear the voices again, and he was pretty sure that they were trying to hush the baby. The baby continued crying, and Sandor decided to go to the room. He opened the door and went inside the room, startling the two people leaning over the crib that was in front of the large bed.
"Oh, Sandor, it's you!" Tommen exclaimed happily when he saw the bodyguard. Then he pointed inside the crib. The noise was even worse inside the room that it had been in the hallways. The cries of the baby were loud and high-pitched and made Sandor want to cover his ears.
"Bloody hell, what is going on here?!" he exclaimed.
Tommen pointed a finger inside the crib while his sister Myrcella kept trying to hush the baby by rocking the crib.
"Look! It's out new cousin!" he said. "Come closer!"
Sandor didn't know of he was even allowed to be in the room, but he approached the crib anyways and he looked inside it. There was a baby, no older than a few weeks old. He was tiny and his face was red from all the screaming he was doing, and he kicked his little legs and arms furiously. He was wearing a green onesie with golden flowers. He had a single strand of dark brown curly hair on the too of his head, and dark blue eyes.
That's Joffrey's son, Sandor realized, surprised. He didn't know the kid had been born already, and he hadn't expected to meet him that day. He was really surprised, and all he could do was stare at the screaming baby with his eyebrows raised and his eyes very open. He doesn't look at all like a Lannister.
"Sandor, you have experience with babies!" Myrcella said, sounding desperate. "Make him stop crying!"
"What?! No," he said. Were they crazy?! He wasn't going to hold the baby!
"Please! Look at him, he's so red! Dad told us that when we were babies you held us and we liked you. He said you were good with babies!"
"That's true!" Tommen nodded, supporting his older sister. "Our uncles also told us! You took care of us sometimes!"
Sandor remembered. His family had been close to the Lannisters, so he had known them all since he was a young child. He remembered seeing Joffrey for the first time when the brat was just newborn. His mother was too tired to hold him and his father too drunk, and the kid had been screaming at the top of his lungs. Sandor, who had been just nine at the moment, had decided to take matters into his own hands and picked the screaming baby Joffrey in his arms. Joffrey had shut up immediately. He held the kid many times after that, and when he was older and he was already working for the Lannisters and the Baratheons and looking after Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen had been born. Their parents had required many times of him to help them with the kids when there were no nannies available. Sandor changed diapers, given baths, fed the babies, and searched for pacifiers in all corners of the mansion when they were lost. He had also stayed awake at night many times because the damn babies wouldn't let him sleep with all the noise that they made, and the cries reverberated within the walls of the mansion. It had been ridiculous. It had been more than a decade and a half since he had had to take care of a baby, and he certainly did not miss it. He didn't miss it at all. He should have been paid extra money for all the times he had had to find himself reduced to work as a fucking nanny for the Baratheon children.
The baby continued screaming after he refused to pick him up, and he cursed under his breath. He should have stayed out of the mansion for longer.
"Ok, ok!" he exclaimed, leaning over the crib. "Come here."
Sandor picked the baby up. He seemed to calm down a little bit when he was picked up from the crib, were he had seemed to be uncomfortable. Holding the child in his arms, Sandor paced around the room. After walking three times around the room, the kid finally shut up.
"See?!" Myrcella exclaimed with triumph. Both she and Tommen watched Sandor and the baby with delight. "He likes you! You are good with babies."
Sandor scoffed and rolled his eyes, but he continued pacing around the room. It was nice now that it was quiet; he had thought that his head was going to explode because of the baby's screams. Sandor looked down at the babe, who was now sleepily looking at him with his dark blue eyes. Maybe they would change of color when he grew up. He looked like a very nice baby when he was quiet and his face was red and swollen like a balloon because of all the screaming.
"His name is Garrett," Tommen told him. "Garrett Renly Baratheon. It's sad that our uncle couldn't meet him..."
Your uncle might not have gotten to meet him, but your brother certainly will, Sandor thought then. It was strange, holding Joffrey's son in his arms. He never thought he would do that.
He supposed that Tywin and Cersei knew that the kid, Garrett, was truly Joffrey's son, and not Renly's. It was obvious that it wasn't Renly's, though. Renly had been gay and he had no interest in women at all, he only had eyes for Loras Tyrell. The reason why he married Margaery was purely political, nothing more.
Did Joffrey know that he was already a father? Most likely yes, because the baby had been born shortly before the new Vice President left. Sandor wondered if Joffrey would love the babe. He knew Joffrey enough to know that he didn't love anyone, but perhaps his son...
Don't try to fool yourself, Sandor told himself while he kept looking at Garrett's dark blue eyes, which were half closed at the moment. Joffrey will always be a monster. He has never been a good person and I doubt that he will be a good father.
Poor kid. He hadn't had any luck with the father that had been assigned for him. Sandor pitied him. He knew what it was like to have shifty and psychotic relatives, and he didn't wish it upon anyone, much less an innocent lad like him. He hoped that at least his mother would take good care of him.
He seems better behaved than Joffrey, and even than Tommen and Myrcella, he thought while he looked how the baby yawned. He remembered that Joffrey would scream a lot more, and even Tommen and Myrcella were difficult babies sometimes. Sandor recalled with not so much amusement one time when he had to help feed them when they were already a bit older, and he had ended up with baby food thrown all over him. Gods, he had forgotten all about that. He did remember that it was such a relief when he went back to working as a serious bodyguard for Mr. Baratheon!
"I do hope you behave better than your cousins did when they were your age," Sandor said to the Garrett then. He sounded ridiculous. What was he doing talking to a baby?! "Cause I won't tolerate you the same shit that I tolerated them. Understood?"
There was silence. Garrett blinked.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"Maybe Sansa will have a baby, and you can take care of him too!" Myrcella said then. "Like how you did with us!"
There had been a small smile appearing in Sandor's face, but it disappeared immediately after he heard the young girl said that. The same image that had tormented him during the wedding reception of Sansa and Joffrey months ago appeared in his mind again, but this time it was worse. Before he had imagined Sansa pregnant, just like Margaery had been at the moment, but now he imagined something else. He imagined a baby, just as tiny as the one he was holding, but instead of looking like Garrett that baby was blond with green eyes. He looked completely like a Lannister. Then he saw that same kid but a little older, and his features were like Sansa's.
He shook his head trying to get rid of that image, but it wouldn't go away. Lately, that image was his worse fear. Would Sansa end up like Margaery and give Joffrey a second son? Would he be forced to care for the child and later look after him, like he had done all those years with Joffrey? Sandor did not know if he would be able to stand it if he was forced to stand there and watch as Joffrey and Sansa formed a family? It was the worst kind of torture that he could think of...
Sandor wondered something then. If Sansa did end up giving Joffrey a child, then how would he feel about that child? Would he despite him for being Joffrey's child? Or would he love him for being Sansa's child?
Sandor didn't know, he couldn't be sure. It was too hard to think about that. Too painful.
"I... don't know," Sandor said, turning his attention back to the baby in his arms.
He heard steps then, and Margaery Tyrell entered the room. She was very surprised by seeing Sandor holding her baby, and he was about to apologize for doing that without her permission (he never apologized for anything, but he knew he shouldn't take a baby without the mother's permission,) but Margaery suddenly smiled and approached him.
"I didn't know you liked babies!" she exclaimed, still surprised. She was looking at her son with a loving expression.
"I don't," Sandor said immediately.
"Sure you don't. Look at that, you two are so cute!"
"Yeah, whatever..." Sandor muttered, annoyed. "He was crying, so I just held him. He's sleeping now."
Garrett woke up all of a sudden, and he made a strange noise. Sandor frowned, and right after that he smelled something awful. He wrinkled his nose.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," he cursed, realizing what had happened. He immediately handed Garrett to his mother, who was laughing loudly. Sandor hadn't changed a diaper in more than a decade and a half, and he wasn't about to start doing it again.
Sansa walked through the ship distractedly, passing in front of shops and clubs and other places that were inside the gigantic ship. She had managed to get away from Joffrey after dinner, which they had spent in a rather large table with the captain of the ship and other important people that were also in the cruise. After Sansa got away from her husband she found a way to get rid of her bodyguard too. It was easy to sneak away from Arys Oakheary, specially with all the people that were there. All that it took was one second and one quick movement and Sansa disappeared. Now all she wanted was to find a nice place to spend a peaceful time in the ship, away from her cabin.
The week had gone by slowly for Sansa. Those days that she had passed there... they had been bad. They had been very bad, and she wanted to forget them. But she also knew that they could have been worse, but they were in a cruise ship full of people and Joffrey couldn't afford to treat Sansa the same way that he treated her in King's Landing. Still, those days hadn't been good, and the only thing that really consoled her was the fact that it was already halfway over. One more week, and she would be back in King's Landing, which certainly couldn't be much worse than being stuck there with Joffrey.
She missed Sandor. She wanted to talk to him, but she couldn't call him. It would be extremely suspicious if she called Joffrey's bodyguard, and besides, Arya had told her that there was a bug in Sansa's phone, recording her calls. She couldn't remove it because then Joffrey would knew that she knew and it would complicate things so badly... But she couldn't help missing Sandor so much. She missed her family too, like always, but she was used to missing them already. She wasn't used to missing Sandor. For the past half year he had been always there with and for her, and now at every turn she expected to see him and was always disappointed when he wasn't standing there in his bodyguard suit.
But fate seemed to be on her side that day. Just as she was about to start walking back to her cabin, defeated in her purpose of finding a good place to be away from everyone and in peace, she came across a small cell phone store that was on the third level deck of the atrium. She stopped in front of it and frowned. Had that always been there? How was it that she was only finding that store now?!
Sansa thought that it was strange that there was a cell phone store in the middle of a cruise ship, but she wasn't going to complain. Besides, people that were in the middle of the ocean needed to communicate somehow, didn't they? Of course cell phones were going to be needed!
She went inside the store and said hello politely. The store clerk was a very nice going lady that helped her get the cheapest prepaid phone that there was. Sansa didn't need anything else, so when she got a small phone that looked more like an ancient rock than a phone she was very happy. At least that phone didn't have a bug inside of it! She figure that if anyone found out she had bought the phone and asked about it she could say that hers wasn't working properly. It was an easy enough lie.
She left the store and walked again through the inner deck of the ship. She found the exit to the outer deck, and walked on it towards the now of the ship.
Once she was there she leaned over the railing, holding on tightly with her free hand so that she wouldn't slip and fall. She watched the now of the ship breaking through the dark water of the Caribbean Sea. The sky above her was dark and filled with stars. The only time she had seen that many stars covering the sky was when she went with her family camping in the North. She remembered that her brother Bran had been studying the constellations and had tried to teach her about them, but she couldn't remember their names. She wished she could remember them, though.
She sighed and sat down on the floor of the bow of the ship. She took her new phone and looked at it, and dialed a number. She could have dialed her brother's number of only she could remember it, but she didn't and she didn't have him in her contacts. Joffrey had made her delete it long ago. So she dialed a number that she did know by heart. She waited as the phone rang, an she prayed that he would pick her call.
"Hello?" she suddenly heard his raspy voice at the other side of the line, and her heart jumped in her chest with joy.
"Sandor," she whispered, smiling. She heard him gasp.
"Sansa... Is that you?" he asked, incredulous.
"Yes," she said, slowly nodding her head, even though he couldn't see her. She leaned against the railing and brought her knees to her chest, putting her free arm around her legs. She was wearing a long golden and black sparkly night dress that didn't shield her from the weather, and it was a bit chilly that night. She shivered. "Yes, it's me. Is it a bad moment?"
"No! No, it's not a bad moment... But how...? Where are you?"
"I'm in the ship."
"I know, but how can you call me? Where's Joffrey? Sansa, is everything alright?" he sounded worried, and Sansa smiled again.
"Yes, everything is alright. Joffrey is inside the ship, I am in the bow of the ship."
"In the bow? Sansa, don't do anything stupid," now he did sound worried, and Sansa realized that he thought that maybe she was going to jump. He heard her laugh and Sansa could swear that she head him scoffing. "No, Sansa, I'm fucking serious. You redheads are crazy. Look what that chick from the movie almost did!"
Sansa really started laughing then. She didn't know if Sandor was being serious and he was really worried, or if he was just joking. But it didn't matter, he had made her laugh all the same. It was incredible. She had only been speaking to Sandor for a minute and he had already improved her mood in a way that she didn't think was possible after the miserable week she had just had.
"This isn't funny, Sansa!"
"It is! It's very funny! You have been watching Titanic!" she exclaimed. She would have never thought that Sandor had watched that movie, it wasn't his type at all. She loved that movie, but it always made her cry.
"I have not," Sandor scoffed, indignant. "I watched it years ago, and it was because I didn't have anything better to do."
"Sure," Sansa said sarcastically. She couldn't erase the grin from her face. The soft night breeze hit her in the face and made her hair float in the air around her. It was very relaxing. "Besides, she tried to jump from the stern. I'm in the bow," she reminded him.
"Whatever. How are you, little bird?"
She sighed. "I've been better," she admitted sadly. She felt Sandor tensing at the other side of the line.
"Sansa..." he started saying, but she stopped him.
"I don't want to talk about it now."
"I understand," he said. There was a bit of an awkward silence.
"I miss you," she said then, breaking the short but tense silence, and she imagined Sandor smiling at that moment. Oh, what she wouldn't give to see him at that moment... "I'll be back in a week, and that is giving me strength. I can't wait to see you."
"I can't wait to see you either, little bird," he admitted. "I love you."
That surprised Sansa. She was always the one that said that first, and then Sandor said it back to her. It was nice to hear him saying it to her first, though. It made her smile return to her face, and it warmer her heart. If she closed her eyes she could feel him as if he were there with her.
"I love you too," she whispered. "Very much."
She stayed there for some more time, just talking to Sandor in the phone. She had prepaid enough money to be on the phone for about two hours, and she was going to stay there as much time as she could until it was time to leave. They didn't talk about anything specific, they just talked about things that came to mind. Sansa had called Sandor to hear his voice, so raspy and familiar and comforting, and she was happy to just hear him talking. She knew that Sandor felt the same, that he didn't want to talk about anything in particular as long as he was speaking to her. Sansa knew that Sandor missed her just as much as she missed him. Though it hurt her to be hurting him like that, she loved the fact that she could love someone that much and that he loved her fact the same way.
I'll come home soon to you, she thought while he spoke to her on the phone. She didn't mean home as in King's Landing. She meant him. She was away from the North and her family, but he was her new home.
"When you come back I won't lose you from sight," Sandor promised her.
"That sounds fantastic," she said.
She heard steps coming from afar, and she looked to her left to look at the door that led inside the ship from that deck. She saw with dismay that it was her bodyguard, Arys Oakheart. He had seen her too, and he was walking towards her.
"I have to go now," she said to Sandor. She barely whispered so that Arys wouldn't hear her.
"Ok, little bird... Please be safe. I will wait for you."
"I will be. I love you."
With those finals words Sansa hung up the phone. Being careful so that Arys didn't see her and before he could reach her, Sansa threw the phone overboard. It fell all the way from the deck where she was to the water, disappearing forever with a loud splash! It sank to the depths of the sea, taking with it all the evidence of her call to Sandor. Sansa smiled sweetly when Arys reached her, knowing that she couldn't look disappointed or suspicious.
"Hello Arys," she said, ignoring the way in which her bodyguard was glaring at her. He was mad at her for having left him behind and make him look for him all moved the ship.
"Miss Stark," he said, restraining from sounding rude. He knew he couldn't be disrespectful, no matter how upset he was. "You husband is looking for you. He wants you to go back to your cabin immediately."
"Oh, Arys," Sansa said as she stood up. She was still smiling sweetly, but her voice was deeply sarcastic at the moment. "I love my husband very much. But sometimes he can be such a pain in my behind..."
She walked past him then, and headed for the door leaving a baffled Arys behind. The walked to her cabin, to meet her husband. She sighed. There was just one more week left. She had endured that long, and she could survive another week.