Chapter 9

Sheldon was sitting in his spot at the apartment staring off into space. He was just sitting there, looking ahead blankly, cracking his knuckles once in a while. He looked pale, sad and tired. Leonard had been trying to talk to his friend on the car ride home and since they got back home but he remained silent, which was odd for the usually verbose physicist. Leonard finally called Penny over to see if she could get through to him.

Leonard turned to Penny. "I don't know what to do…he's been like this for the last two hours since we came home. He hasn't told me what's wrong, but I have a feeling this has to do with Kripke's paper. I'm not sure what to make him. Tea? Cocoa? Hot apple cider with cinnamon sticks?"

"I'm upset, Leonard. Tea." Sheldon muttered.

"Tea! Ok, now we are getting somewhere." Leonard pulled down the tea box and set it on the kitchen island. He started going through the compartments. "Now what kind of tea would you like? There's lemon zinger, chamomile, orange ginger –"

"I can't drink tea Leonard! Amy and I drink tea together." Sheldon snapped.

Leonard shook his head and looked at Penny exasperated. "A little help here please…" he begged.

Penny went and sat down beside Sheldon on the couch. "Sweetie, can you please tell us what happened that got you so upset" she said softly.

Sheldon sighed and looked sadly at Penny. How could he tell them that Amy wanted a break? That she was so upset by the rumour and his non-action that she didn't want to be with him anymore? That she thought he didn't care.

Sheldon cleared his throat and began. "Do you remember when I was working with Kripke, and I didn't correct his assumption that I was distracted by all the sex I was having with Amy. You know how that rumour blown up all over campus…"

Penny and Leonard looked at each other and nodded.

"Well, Amy found out. And she was not pleased to say the least." Sheldon said sadly.

"Did Kripke tell her? I always knew that guy was a rat." Penny said disgustedly. Leonard sat down on the chair beside Sheldon.

"Kripke just recently found out that it wasn't true. I don't know who told him the truth, but he confronted me in my office about it. We were arguing, and Amy overhead part of our conversation." Sheldon said quietly. He turned towards Penny. "Penny, even though you've had a multitude of sexual partners, can you imagine back to a time when you were a little more virtuous?" Sheldon began.

"Sheldon! That's rude. Don't talk to Penny that way" Leonard interrupted.

Penny was shaking her head incredulously at Sheldon. "Wait…wait. I want to hear Sheldon out. You are treading water here buddy. Choose your words carefully. Continue with your question."

"I was just wondering, if it would bother you, if people at work knew that you and Leonard are having sex."

"How I think about it, and how Amy will think about it are not going to be the same thing." Penny replied.

"Well obviously. Amy has not bedded half of Nebraska." Sheldon snarked. Penny grabbed a throw cushion and smacked Sheldon with it. He yelped and launched back.

"Excuse me! That is not true! And neither is that stupid calculation you did about my number of sexual partners." Penny exclaimed.

"My math is never wrong." Sheldon stated.

"Oh I don't know about that. Maybe we should ask Leslie Winkle about your math mistake. And wasn't your element a bit of a math error too?" Leonard teased. Sheldon threw him a dirty look.

"Well, your math was wrong in this case buddy. Listen, do you want my help or not?" Penny said sternly.

"Yes, I want your help." Sheldon sighed.

"Ok, well for me, it wouldn't really upset me if people knew that Leonard and I were having sex. I think that sex is a normal way that couples express their love for each other. What I wouldn't like, is if people I knew where talking about all the details of it. That's personal, and I wouldn't want that kind of stuff to be peoples casual "work talk". But I am coming at it as someone who is having sex with my boyfriend. I think Amy would have a totally different take."

"How so?" he asked.

"Well you two have never had sex. And it's a big deal to Amy. You know, you talking so nonchalantly about your sex life, make it sound like it's really not a big deal to you. That you don't care. You know she's pretty private about that stuff. Look how upset she got when we were teasing you with the love spell when we played D&D. That was just among friends. Now imagine how she would feel with random people at Caltech hearing about your sex life."

"Well it was never meant to come out. Really. I didn't want this rumour spread around, I just didn't have a good excuse for Kripke, and it just seemed easier to go along with his suggestion, than to think of something new myself." Sheldon said sadly. "Amy is really distraught. She is super upset with me. She said that I should have stopped the rumour right from the start. She doesn't think I respect her." Sheldon's voice started breaking up a bit. "She wants a break from me. She told me not to contact her." He said in a whisper.

"What? Are you serious?" Penny gasped softly. She never thought in a million years that Amy would ever want to break up with Sheldon, or go on a "break". She seemed so totally devoted to him. Penny looked up at Sheldon, who was leaning forward with his head between his hands looking down. She was stunned with this revelation. She probably needed a good talk with her bestie to help put things in perspective. Penny grabbed her phone to quickly text Amy.

Amy, I just heard from Sheldon what happened. Are you ok? Do you want to talk about it? Sheldon is pretty broken up about everything. We could do an impromptu girl's night and talk everything through?

Penny slipped her phone back into her pocket and looked at Sheldon, who looked completely broken on the couch.

"Sweetie, I don't know what to tell you. All you can do is apologize to Amy, and tell her how you really feel about her. She needs to know that you know? You can't assume that she just understands what's going on in that crazy head of yours. I know that she was upset that you blew some idea of hers off. And now this. I can kind of see where she is coming from, both actions are not really considerate of her feelings. It looks like you don't care." Penny looked at him worriedly. "You do care right?"

"Of course I care. I just don't like to broadcast my personal feelings for the group to know. But yes, I care about Amy very much." Sheldon said abruptly.

"You can't broadcast your feelings for your girlfriend of four years to even her, but have no problem broadcasting the sordid details of your made up sex life? What do you think this looks like to Amy? I can see why she is really upset." Leonard said.

Sheldon continued looking down, he felt terrible about everything that happened. The last thing in the world that he wanted was to hurt Amy or to make her upset.

Penny's phone buzzed. She pulled it out and looked at it.

I am not doing ok. I learned everyone at Caltech was having a good laugh about my "sex life" and my boyfriend and not one of my friends could be bothered to tell me. Clearly, the laugh is on me, because I expected a lot more from my boyfriend and best friend. But I see where the loyalties lie, and it's not with me. Have a good evening.

"Sheldon, does Amy know we all knew about this?" Penny questioned.

Sheldon sighed. "Amy asked me to be totally honest with her about everything. She asked me straight out, who knew about the rumour. Well I told you and Leonard, so I told her that. I'm not going to lie to her."

"Oh now he doesn't lie." Penny said annoyed. "Amy is upset with all of us now too. I'm going to have to try to sort this out tomorrow."

The events of the day were quickly catching up with Sheldon. He couldn't turn his brain off, thoughts were flashing back and forth. He needed some time alone to think things through. Leonard and Penny had given him lots to ponder about. Sheldon got up, and started walking out of the living room. "I think I'm going to head to bed." he said.

"Are you sure you're ok? You can work things out with Amy, I know you can. She cares about you a lot. She would never leave you for anyone else." Leonard said softly.

Sheldon looked at him startled, and then quickly walked to his room.

Sheldon sat on his bed looking at a photo of Amy. The last thing Leonard said shook him to the core. She would never leave him for anyone else. But she could if she wanted to…. She was smart, beautiful, funny, any man would be lucky to date her. But would she leave him? The thought must have crossed her mind, it must be crossing her mind right now. She wanted a break. She didn't know if she wants to be with him. He could lose her for real. Sheldon felt panic start to overtake him. Kripke and her had seemed to be spending lots of time together. But she couldn't like that idiot could she? No, that was preposterous! Her standards were much higher. After all she was dating him, wasn't she?

Him. Sheldon Lee Cooper.

He was the one who did the cha cha with her. He was the one who took care of her when she was drunk. He was the one who she confided in, laughed with, sparred with. He was the one who nursed her back to health when she was ill. He was the one who cuddled her when she was upset. He was the one who sang with her during boyfriend/girlfriend sing along nights. He was the one who bought her a beautiful tiara….

But he was also the one that created the need for the tiara, he thought sadly. The words she had said during their last few meetings were flooding his head. That he was dismissive, arrogant, that he didn't value their relationship….that he didn't respect her…that he didn't care.

How could he make her feel this way, when it was the last thing he wanted her to feel. He knew that he could be overconfident, bordering on cocky. But he had to be. While he had always had a thirst for knowledge and unrivaled academic success, his life socially and emotionally had been a disaster. His life as a child at home was chaotic; his drunk father scared him, his brother and sister constantly left him out, or were torturing him, his over religious mother saw his "science" as anti-Christian. He was always so much younger than all his classmates. He didn't have any friends in his class. It was so lonely and isolating. He had built up wall to protect himself. He wasn't going to allow people to hurt him any longer. He needed to be smarter and better than them all….it was his protective layer.

Life had gotten better. He had made a group of friends that cared about him. But he still wouldn't let anyone see the real him. The one that was scared. The one that wasn't so confident. The one that didn't know everything. Everything changed when he met Amy. His walls remained up, but she was different…so different. He felt like he could be himself around her. She liked that he was different. She grew up in an environment somewhat similar to him. Misunderstood, brilliant…a bit of a social outcast. She was blunt and to the point. It was a point that he loved about her, and it exasperated Penny to no end. She was sharp, top of her field , and kept him on his toes. She was funny…beautiful. Sheldon smiled to himself…she didn't even know that she was beautiful which was so endearing. He needed to know what she thought about things, he needed her opinion. She was breaking down his walls, and it scared him. She was going to see the real him. Would she still like him so much, if she saw that he was not so confident? That he was scared and unsure….

He shook his head. The way he was acting was hurting her. And she was the last person he ever wanted to hurt. His arrogance…his bravado…the things that protected him all these years, was hurting the one person that he lo-.

Sheldon stopped himself. He knew in his heart it was true. He loved her. He loved Amy Farrah Fowler. He knew that ever since his train trip, but had been too scared to tell her. She had asked him what he had thought about on the train trip, and he had avoided the question. His thoughts on the trip were all of her.

He pulled out his laptop from his table in his room, and opened it up. He opened a folder that contained all his files, photos and writing from his train trip. She had no idea how consumed he was with thoughts of her during his trip. He couldn't stop thinking about her at all. He had looked at all her pictures a million times. He thought about their last conversation and how upset she had looked when he dismissed the idea of them living together and their future together. He tethered his phone to his laptop on the train, when he couldn't get Wi-Fi and started Googling her. Anything and everything he could find about her…

He read all of her papers that she had published. He hacked into Harvard's server's and read her university papers. They were all brilliant and innovative. He found her blog where she wrote about her hobbies and interests. He found comments she made on various forums around the net. And then he found her fanfiction….

He opened the word document that he had copied it into. He had read the fanfiction a total of sixty three times so far. He had an eidetic memory, he didn't need to re-read it. But he wanted to…he needed to. The fanfiction said what Amy hadn't said to him. That she was in love with him also. The she wanted him. That she desired him.

She had blended her love for Little House on the Prairie into the story with her love for her Time Travelling physicist…him. Her characters were not so hidden in that they were named Amelia and Cooper. The time travel aspects of her story were completely wrong. He would need to sit down with her one day and go over the fundamentals of time travel and their effect on space and time. But that was besides the point….

Sheldon scrolled down to page 35. Amelia and Cooper were working in the barn to get his time machine working, and the machine had finally hummed to life.

Coopers eyes lit up as he saw the first lights start blinking on his time machine. He couldn't believe it. They had done it! They had gotten it working. He had thought it was impossible. Now they needed to test the calibration of the instrumentation. Cooper turned around as he heard soft sniffle. Amelia had her back turned to him, and was trying to slip past him towards the barn door.

"Amelia?" he grabbed her hand.

Amelia looked up at Cooper, her eyes were filled with tears. She quickly wiped them away. "I'm sorry, I'm just excited for you. I know you must be looking forward to going home" she said softly.

Cooper looked at her troubled. He knew exactly how she felt, because he felt the same way. He was excited that he could go home, but what about Amelia? He had never felt a connection so strong to someone before. These past two weeks they done everything together; worked, played, laughed, cried… He didn't want to leave her. He didn't want to let her go.

Cooper pulled Amelia into his arms. He ran his smooth porcelain hand down her tear stained cheek. He stared at her with his piercing blue eyes. "Amelia…I think I've fallen in –"

"Stop Cooper. We can't. You are from your time, I'm from mine. It doesn't make sense" she said softly.

"What doesn't make sense is for us to be apart. Maybe it was destiny that I was sent here" he whispered.

"Destiny? That doesn't sound like you. I thought you believed in science only." Amelia said.

"Some things are beyond science." Cooper said hungrily. He pulled Amelia close to his body, his hand wrapped around her small waist. He lowered his head and gently kissed her. She felt a bolt of electricity pass through her body. She responded to his kiss, and soon they were kissing passionately. He nibbled her lip and let his tongue lightly sweep against hers. Amelia gasped at the sensation. She responded in kind. Soon she was lost in the sensation. She felt like she was drowning in a sea of emotions…in passion…in love.

Cooper led her over to a soft pile of hay, and gently lay her on it. He began kissing her gently, trailing kisses down her long slim neck. "Cooper, this is wrong. We are not married. We can't do this" Amelia protested gently.

"This can't be wrong. I've never felt something feel more right in my life. I love you Amelia….I want you...I need you…" Cooper exclaimed. He stopped and gazed into her eyes. "Do you love me Amelia? I won't push you to do anything you don't want to do"

Amelia heart was beating wildly in her chest. She loved him…more than he could ever know. She knew society would frown upon this, but she didn't care. This might be her only chance at being with her true love. She was in love. She wanted to give herself to him.

She responded by pulling his head towards her and giving him a long passionate kiss. He smiled and kissed her back. His hands started running all over her body, down her arms, her back, then slowly he ran his hands around her breasts. She smiled shyly at him, and slowly started to unbutton his shirt. Cooper sat up and quickly took his shirt off, and went back to gazing at Amelia. He took the shirt as a cue, and undid the buttons of her frock starting up at her neck and working his way down. He passionately started kissing her neck, and moving down her now bare chest. He took his hand and gently cupped –

"Hey Sheldon?" Leonard knocked as he opened Sheldon's bedroom door. Leonard looked over at Sheldon, who was lying on his bed with his laptop on his lap. His face was completely red and flushed. "Buddy, are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Sheldon said quickly, as he slammed the laptop shut. "I didn't say come in. You know it's customary to knock, and then wait for someone to say come in. What if I was naked?"

"Ha ha…I'm not even sure you get naked to shower" Leonard joked. Sheldon frowned at him.

"Well anyways…I just wanted to check if you are ok. You looked pretty upset when you left the living room. I just wanted to tell you, that I think you and Amy can work things out. I've never seen two people more suited for each other." Leonard said softly.

"Do you really think so?" Sheldon asked.

"Yeah, I do." Leonard smiled at his friend. "Good night Sheldon."

"Good night." he replied. Leonard left this bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Sheldon lay back, thinking about what he just read. He loved Amy's story. He wanted to be like the Cooper in her story, confident and in control. He wanted to do all the things she wrote about and more.

He sat up with a new resolve. He was going to show Amy that he loved her. He needed her to know the truth…and if Kripke thought he can steal her away from him, he had another thing coming. Nobody messes with Sheldon Lee Cooper. Nobody.

A/N: So up until now, Sheldon has been kind of an jerk in this story, but I wanted to show the other side of Sheldon. He's finally admitted to himself that he does love her. But how will he show her now? Will he romance her off her feet, and will it get a tad screwed up Cooper style? And what about Kripke? Will he try to make a move on Amy, now that her and Sheldon are apart? Stay tuned, and thank-you so much for the reviews!