Ben had made the decision to go in for surgery after the events of the day before, deciding it'd be easier to just do the one hospital trip for the time being, and by midday of the next day, Max was caught up on what had happened since he last saw Ben; now he sat by his bed, mucking around with the tattered bear Ben had been given by another patient.
The young girl had been going into theater that morning and had befriended Lofty just before – Lofty in return for the in-depth conversation on Barbie, had promised to take care of "fluffy" and give her plenty of hugs until the girl woke up again.
"Gimme a hug Bennie" Max smashed the bear into Lofty's face, who pushed it away and took it with both hands.
"Don't do that" He whined, "I feel bad…"
"Yeah, you're right mate…"
"She loves this thing…"
"You'd be such a good brother mate" Max spoke earnestly, "D'you think we should do something for the girl?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know, you're the creative one!"
"Yeah, and I'm also the one attached to a trolley by 100 wires who spent the best part of yesterday vomiting."
Max's expression changed to one that bore seriousness, "What happened yesterday?" He asked softly.
Lofty nodded at the curtain, and Max pulled it halfway around to shield them from the rest of the ward. He took a seat on the edge of his boyfriend's bed and Lofty shuffled over, allowing Max to lie across the bed with him.
"Alex" Lofty shuddered at the name, fiddling with the bear's scruffy fur and leaning into his boyfriend, before continuing. "Alex has a recording of me…" Lofty's teeth clenched and he felt sick, "He has a recording and I can't let him keep it…"
"What sort of…" Max read the expression on his boyfriend's face and it was like telepathy. He knew. "Oh… Ben you've gotta tell someone!"
"I can't, he said if anyone finds out, it'll be on porn sites before I can blink!"
"Oh God…"
"Can we just talk about something else? The girl – India, she likes fairies"
"Yeah"
"I'm stuck here, but d'you think you can get some glitter and card or something?"
"How can you think about glitter at a time like this?"
"You asked me what to make for her, and I have an idea" Lofty grabbed Max's arm as he stood. "Max… I'm sorry, I can't think about the video now, I need to forget – it'll be easiest…"
"I understand" Max smiled at his boyfriend, "Pink glitter and card it is!"
"Thank you" Lofty smiled as Max whipped the curtain open and grinned back at him, before ambling out of the ward.
"Ben" Lofty looked up from the angelic shape he was cutting out to see Dylan and David standing beside the bed; he often did that, it almost seemed like a coping mechanism, to shut his thoughts out by getting engrossed in whatever activity it was.
"Dads?"
David smiled at his husband. "Your place is booked for this afternoon, are you ready for this?"
"Yeah" Lofty smiled back at him, he felt genuinely ready to go into theater, and not just to reduce his dysphoria further; maybe if he looked different, Alex wouldn't be able to recognise him as easily?
By the time the girl in the bed next to Lofty's returned, the railing around her cubicle was adorned with glitter-angels of all colours that flitted back and forth slightly in the line of the air conditioning.
Now fully awake, her eyes widened at the sight of them and she clasped her hands, smiling fully.
"They're so pretty!" She gasped, a beam spreading across her face. David smiled at the scene from across the paediatrics ward, where he'd promised to wait with Lofty until he was called into theater.
Seeing the happiness light up the small girl's eyes calmed Ben's nerves for a moment and he passed the scruffy bear to Max, who took it over to her bed.
Lofty could hear Max talking to the girl as he passed her bear back, and he rolled over onto his other side to listen.
"My boyfriend Lofty was asleep, but I saw it all!" Lofty smiled at Max's amazing story-telling voice, "What's their name?" He gestured towards the bear.
"Bliss" The girl whispered, her hair flat over the pillow as she put her thumb in her mouth, now comfortable her bear would come to no harm in Max's careful hold.
"Bliss saw it all too! I'm sure of it! There was this cloud of dust and suddenly" He pointed around the bed rail, "They were all here…"
"Just like magic?" The girl asked sweetly, smiling excitedly around her thumb.
"Exactly magic!" Max tucked the bear under the blanket beside the small girl and ran a gentle hand through her hair. She took his wrist.
"Bliss is magic" The girl whispered, still not letting go. "She saved me… She's so brave!"
"As are you" Max replied softly, turning with a smile, and making his way back to his boyfriend's bed where both Dylan and David now stood.
"The slot in theater is yours now Ben" David told his son, with a soft smile of encouragement.
"I'm ready" Lofty replied, and Dylan and David began to tuck the various wires around the bed and make it ready to wheel down to the ED for final preparations before surgery.
"Ben I'm so sorry…" Max trailed off, "There's something I have to do, and I gotta go…"
"It's okay" Lofty laughed, "Why're you sorry? Not like you're gonna be in theater with me"
Max leant down and kissed his boyfriend. Lofty had missed the taste of Max's mouth against his own and immediately, his shoulders sank down into the mattress, finally relaxed. Though the kiss was fleeting for want of careful watch by Ben's two dads, it calmed Ben, who grabbed Max's hand just as he turned to leave.
"I love you"
"I love you more" Max winked, "You're gonna be great Ben", and with a final squeeze of his hand, Max rushed off the hospital ward, leaving Lofty light-headed with a swooping sensation of love.
"Had enough PDA for today Ben?" Dylan laughed tightly as he and David began to wheel the bed out of the ward. Lofty turned his head to the right a little and waved back to the small girl who smiled at him, lowering her own hand after a few seconds.
He tried hard to relax as a text pinged through onto his phone which lay atop the monitor beside him as they moved. He reached for it tentatively and swiped at the screen a couple of times.
Max: You're gonna be okay. Just like magic.
Just as Lofty went to reply, another text came through.
Max: I love you…
Lofty quickly tapped a reply, before turning his phone off and focusing on the passing lights overhead.
"D-dad… I'm scared" Lofty admitted breathlessly, gripping his father's arm and sitting up shakily as David wielded the anaesthetic. They'd reached the ED and the original sense of calm once instilled was replaced by the mental block Lofty couldn't let go of. His fear of losing consciousness.
"I know you are my boy, it's all going to be okay." Dylan held his son close as David attached the drip to the tube sticking out Lofty's hand. "I promise…"
Lofty changed his mind as fast as lightning. He had to commit to surgery sooner or later, and surely getting it over with was the best option he had. "I trust you Da-" Lofty fell heavily against Dylan's chest, who then laid him back down against the hospital bed.
"Can I have a porter please? We need to get this patient into theater!" Dylan called, switching his mind-set to Doctor, and trying to ignore the fact that the patient he was walking alongside was in fact, his adopted son of four weeks.
"Dylan!" David called nervously after him, watching in stunned silence as he turned on his heel, back to face him. "I-I need to switch… Sorry" A sob nearly escaped his throat, but he pushed it back down, just as Dylan walked over, placing a hand gently on the other man's shoulder. "I-I'm too emotionally involved. I can't just control my feelings like you can – I don't know how".
The thought of operating on his son was overbearing for David, and though Dylan hated a change of plan, he knew what was most sensible now.
Dylan rubbed his forehead, and looked into the eyes of the man he loved. "Go." he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on David's forehead, "Go save lives". He looked back at David, as he left shakily, before pacing to reception to order a second consultant to theater.
There was no doubt David would be far more useful on the ED floor than in theater.