I took the chapter name from the title of a movie called "Sex, Lies, and Video Tapes" and I changed it a little bit. I had no idea what to call the chapter and then my aunt suggested this name (my entire family has found out about my fanfics already) and I liked it so I was like why not?

A little bit of the chapter might be uncomfortable. A little bit might be funny. I have to say that I enjoyed very much writing this chapter. I enjoy writing the whole story, but... oh, you'll see.

Enjoy!

37. Sex, Lies, and Tests.

Sansa was dreaming of a storm, with its powerful lighting and rumbling thunder. She was dreaming of stolen kisses in the dark, and of caresses in the dead of the night.

Her dream made her shiver, and she couldn't stop twisting and turning in her sleep, taking the bedsheets with her. She dreamt of a raspy voice that murmured her name in her ear...

"Sansa," a voice that was foreign to her dream said then, pulling her a bit out of her world of fantasy that she was enjoying so much. "Sansa."

Go away, she wanted to say to that voice, which was so unwelcome compared to the raspy voice that whispered her name like it was the most beautiful word in the world. The sound of that raspy voice was the sound of sweet seduction, while the voice of the outsider was unwelcome and cold.

But that voice insisted, calling her name over and over again. It was becoming angry.

"Sansa. Sansa!"

A hand took her shoulder and shook her, and Sansa woke up with a gasp. Her dream vanished from her mind, and she found herself on a bed, with the bedsheets tangled around her. It took her a second to realize that she was in her bedroom in the new house, the one that they had had to move in in King's Landing after leaving the Red Keep mansion so that Robb could go and live there as President. The peach-colored walls were still a bit foreign to her, even though most the furniture was the same as the one she had had before.

It also took her a moment to realize that her husband, Joffrey was standing in front of her. He was in the process of getting dressed, with only his trousers and his shirt on, but he still had to out on shoes and fix his shirt and put on a tie and a jacket. Sansa almost groaned when she saw him there, but the only thing that she did was rest her head on the pillow again and sigh.

"What do you want?" she asked, feeling tired.

"It's late. Get out of bed and get dressed," Joffrey said. He was as unfriendly and unpleasant in the way that he talked to his wife as always. Not that Sansa cared about that, she would still hate him with all her soul even if her addressed her calling her sweet names.

"Why?" she wanted to know. Normally she obeyed to what Joffrey said that she had to do, but that morning she really did not want to get out of bed.

Why did he have to wake me up? I was having such a good dream...

She had been dreaming about the Vale, and the incredible night that she spent there with Sandor. For a second Sansa dreaded that she had said Sandor's name in her sleep, but she realized that she hadn't. Had that been the case she would already have Joffrey on her, probably beating her. Yes, that was what he would do... But her husband appeared to be calm that morning, even though he did seem a bit annoyed.

Joffrey disappeared into the large bathroom of the bedroom, where he continued dressing himself.

"You have the doctor's appointment today, remember?" he answered to her question, and Sansa did groan when he heard that.

The doctor's appointment. Sansa had completely forgotten. She did not want to go, but Joffrey had insisted and he had forced her to go in the end. He made her have some tests done, and she had to go back that day to get the results and talk to the doctor about them. She really, really did not want to go. It wasn't that she didn't like doctors; she was okay with them. It was the reason why Joffrey was making her go that made her not want to go there at all.

"I don't think all that is necessary," she murmured then. She didn't expect Joffrey to hear her all the way from the bathroom, but he did. Joffrey a emerged from the bathroom and walked towards the bed while he put on his tie.

"I think it is," he said, and then he sat down on the bed next to Sansa.

She tried to move away from him, but he quickly grabbed her arm and held her so that she would stay there. Sansa hissed, because Joffrey was hurting her. She tried to pull from her arm to break free from him, but Joffrey wouldn't let her go.

"Stop," she said. "You are hurting me..."

Joffrey's hold on her arm only became tighter, which made the skin on his hand and Sansa's arm become white and dark red. He glared at her.

"It is necessary," he repeated. "And you know why it is necessary? Because we have been married since April. Our honeymoon was in July, yes, but it is October and you are not pregnant."

Those last words were spat in a hiss full of hate, and then Joffrey pulled from Sansa's arm and forced her to move closer to him. She whimpered, but she couldn't resist it and she moved closer to Joffrey, until there was almost no space between her and him. She felt like a small insect being observed by Joffrey, who was like a cruel boy who wanted to take off her wings just to see the insect suffer and struggle to survive. Sansa took a deep breath, trying to remain calm as she endured the way in which Joffrey's cruel green eyes glared at her.

"Margaery has already given me a son, but what I need is a legitimate child, a true heir," Joffrey informed her. When he saw that Sansa wasn't looking at him, he held her chin with his other hand and forced her to look at him. "If I find out that you are on birth control..."

"I'm not," Sansa quickly said. It was true, she was not. "I swear."

"Then why are you not getting pregnant?!"

"I don't know!" Sansa sobbed. Joffrey was really hurting her in that moment, and the wild and angry look in his eyes was scaring her. She hadn't seen him so angry in months. That topic really upset Joffrey, who had been expecting the news that he was going to be father (again,) ever since they returned from the honeymoon, but he never got those news from Sansa, and he was getting irritated. Joffrey didn't care about having kids, not really, but he did want to offer the people the perfect image of a perfect family. The pressure that he was putting on Sansa to give him a child was too much, and every time that Sansa told him that she was not pregnant earned her an hour of angry shouts and insults. "Please... I don't know..."

She tried to break free of Joffrey, but he didn't let go. She pulled harder then, and the struggle ended up with Joffrey on the bed on top of Sansa. He tried to hold her down while she continued twisting and struggling to make him get off her. Joffrey hissed between gritted teeth while he made an effort to hold Sansa still, and in the end he succeeded.

"I don't care that you don't know!" he almost shouted at her. "That is why you are going to go to the fucking doctor, and you are getting back the test results..."

"What if I can't have children?" she asked then. It wasn't the first time that she wondered that, though it was the first time that she asked it out loud. She had only used protection a few times, and she had never gotten pregnant. What if she was barren? The thought scared her, and she was afraid to go to the doctor and have him tell her that that was in fact the case. She did not want to hear those words being told to her...

Joffrey grimaced.

"Well, in that case, you better hope that it has a solution!"

Joffrey let go of her then, and he walked to the bathroom. He finished getting dressed and the he stormed out of the bedroom, not before ordering Sansa again to get out of the bed and get ready to go. After he slammed the door shut behind him Sansa stayed in the bed for about a minute, thinking of what had just happened. She felt tears stinging in her eyes, but she did not cry. She was sick and tired of crying every day because of her miserable life in that city. She hated having had to come back. Why could she have stayed in the Vale? She had been so happy in the Vale... She had been happy even in Casterly Rock, where she hadn't had to deal with her husband for a period of time.

She got up from the bed, still thinking about what she had said. She really was scared. What if she couldn't have children? She had wanted to be a mother since she was going, and while the prospect of not having to bear Joffrey's child made her jump with happiness, the thought of never holding a baby of her own in her arms made her immensely sad.

She went inside the bathroom and showered quickly. After getting a warm shower she went back to the room to choose what clothes she was going to wear for the day. It was Spring already, though it was a bit cold yet. She decided to wear white pants and a black fashionable top that she could combine with a jacket if she needed it. She was going to go back to the bathroom to get dressed there, when suddenly she walked by her purse and something caught her eye. She felt a hole in her stomach. Then she reached out with her hand and took the box out of her purse.

She had completely forgotten that she had that there. She had bought more than a week after returning from the Vale, but she hadn't taken it yet... Now her eyes were fixed on the pregnancy test like it was some sort of threat that had to be avoided, but at the same time it was something that she could not escape from.

Sansa sighed, and took the box with her to the bathroom. She saw no sense in not taking the test. The last time that she had had sex had been with Sandor in the Vale, and she hadn't taken a pregnancy test after, nor had she taken any anti-conceptive morning after pill. She wanted to know, before going to the doctor, if she was pregnant or not. She might be, the possibility was there after all...

She took the test. Then she set the timer on her phone and got dressed while she waited for the results. She put on her clothes quickly, and then she brushed her hair and quickly put on a tiny little bit of make-up. Just some blush and mascara and lip gloss, nothing more. The results were still not ready, so she sat down to wait...

Sansa felt her heart beating fast within her chest, like a time bomb about to explode. She was afraid of the results. If she wasn't pregnant, then she was afraid of what the doctor might tell her when she got to his office to get the results of the tests that they did to her. But if she was...

Oh God. What if she was pregnant of Sandor? What would she do then? Well, the situation wasn't as complicated as it would be had that happened when she wasn't yet married. At least now she could maybe pass the baby as being Joffrey's...

Sansa frowned. No, she couldn't do that, it would be so cruel! She couldn't condemn a poor innocent child, her own flesh and blood, to a life next to that monster! She didn't even want to think about how Joffrey would treat that child... She had seen him around Garrett, Margaery's baby, though. Joffrey seemed to be happy with his son, and he had been careful around the child when he had met him; Sansa had been there one day that Margaery visited with the baby, and she had seen how Joffrey acted... She had even held the baby in her arms herself! Garrett was such a lovely boy... But what would happen if she had her own child, and Joffrey discovered that he was not the father? Sansa did not even want to think about it.

I would have to leave, she realized then. If I am pregnant I would have to escape. I can't have my child living with Joffrey, that would be too cruel...

She heard someone knocking on the bedroom's closed door then, which startled her. She gasped, but then she heard Sandor's voice coming from the other side of the door.

"Little bird?" he asked. "Can I come in?"

"Yes," she said, and then she heard the door opening and steps coming closer. Sandor walked towards the bathroom door but Sansa came out of it to meet him. She smiled weakly at him, and Sandor noticed.

"Are you alright, Sansa?" he asked, frowning.

She nodded. "Yes, yes... I was just... Nothing."

"Joffrey is getting impatient," Sandor informed her. "He is downstairs, asking why the hell you are taking so long. He says that you have to go to the hospital... Why in seven hells do you have to go to the hospital?" he asked, visibly worried. "Are you sick? Did he hurt you?"

"No," Sansa said, quickly shaking her head. "It's just that... Well, I..."

The timer went off then. The sudden and unexpected noise startled Sandor, and he looked inside the bathroom. Sansa gasped for the second time in a short while and rushed inside the bathroom. She grabbed the oregnancy test, but she did not dare to look at the results just then.

"Sansa, what the fuck is that?"

Sansa gulped. "It's a... It's a... a test."

Sandor frowned even more than before. She could see in the huge mirror of the bathroom that he was about to ask something more, but then his eyes settled on the trash can that was in the bathroom. Sansa had thrown the box of the test in there. Sandor entered the bathroom, taking slow and short steps towards the trash can, and then he took it. He read what it said in the empty box, and then he looked at Sansa with eyes wide with shock. Then he saw what she was holding in her hands.

"What..." Sandor began asking, though the words were caught in his throat. He coughed, and made an effort to continue speaking. "What does it say...?"

"What do you want it to say?" Sansa asked before she took a look at the results. She knew that Sandor was a very straightforward person and hated that kind of questions, but she wanted to know what to expect when she told Sandor the results of the pregnancy test.

Sandor looked extremely troubled then. He ran his hand over his face, and sighed. He suddenly looked exhausted.

"Mine or Joffrey's?" he asked before he replied to her question. His voice was weak, barely a whisper.

"Yours," Sansa said.

"Do you want me to tell you the truth?" Sandor asked her, and Sansa nodded.

"Yes, please."

"I don't want you to be pregnant," Sandor said then. "It's not that... That I wouldn't want a child with you, though I had never... I had never thought about that..." He was almost speechless. He imagined a child, his and Sansa's. Some pretty little boy with black or auburn hair. Or maybe a girl. That image... He wanted it. He really wanted it. Having a child with Sansa would be having a little piece of Heaven gifted to him. But he knew that he couldn't have it, and that was why he did not want it. "It is bad enough to have to see you living in this hellhole. I would not be able to see our child in this situation too, it would be too much. Even if... Even if the child wasn't mine it would be too much to see you both under the claws of that beast."

"Sandor..."

"What does it say, Sansa?" Sandor asked very abruptly, looking at the test. "Please, just tell me."

Sansa hesitated, but then she looked down at the test in her hands. For a couple of seconds there was a tense silence, and it felt like the air around them had suddenly become ice-cold. Sansa could feel Sandor's heavy gaze on her as she saw the results and interpreted what they said.

She sighed with a mixture of relief and disappointment. She couldn't help but feel both. Sandor arched an eyebrow, not knowing what that sigh really meant.

"I'm not pregnant," Sansa announced, and she could feel the tension leaving Sandor's body and the atmosphere around them returning to normality.

"Gods, Sansa," Sandor rasped. "Fuck. You scared the seven hells out of me."

"Sorry," she apologized, but Sandor shook his head.

"No. No, don't apologize, it's my fault..." he said, taking a step towards her. "It's just that... I'm sorry, I should have reacted better before."

"I understand," Sansa said. It was true, she did understand him. She understood that the thought that he might become a father while she was with Joffrey had stressed him and freaked him out. She had felt the same way too, sort of. "We should be more careful."

"Yes," Sandor agreed.

There was silence again, and then Sandor took a step towards Sansa and hugged her. She hugged him as well and pressed her head against his powerful chest, feeling suddenly like a small child that needed protection. She felt safe and calm in Sandor's arms. Sandor touched her hair and kissed the too of her head.

"We should go," he murmured with his lips still pressed against her soft hair. "Joffrey is waiting for you."

It was true, her husband was waiting for her and he was in a foul mood that morning. Sansa did not want to try his patience and make him go back to their room. If Joffrey found her with Sandor like that in there it would be disastrous. Reluctantly she let go of Sandor, and they left the room and made their way to the main entrance of the new mansion. It was time to go to that damned doctor's appointment to see if it was true that she could not have children. For what she was seeing, it seemed that her fears and Joffrey's predictions would be, in fact, horribly true.

Sandor accompanied Sansa and Joffrey to the doctor, along with Joffrey's bodyguards Meryn and Boros. Those two were left outside of the hospital, one waiting in the car and the other waiting in the hospital's doors. Sandor, however, was left waiting outside of the doctor's office.

Sansa and Joffrey waited for Doctor Qyburn while he talked to some nurses in another room. Sansa was feeling extremely nervous, and she couldn't stop playing with her clothes. Her hands were trebling and her palms were sweaty.

"Will you stop that?" Joffrey hissed, annoyed. Sansa tried to leave her hands still on her lap, but it was difficult. "If it turns out that you can't have children, I want you to take all the treatments possible. Understood?"

She didn't want to do that, not if it was to have Joffrey's child, but she nodded. She stared at her lap the whole time while they waited for the doctor. When Doctor Qyburn appeared she managed to put on a small smile that looked genuine and sincere, just like she always did in public.

"Mrs. Baratheon," the man greeted her with a kind smile while he shook her hand. Many people still called her by her maiden name, and some didn't. Sansa hated it, but obviously she couldn't protest. Then the doctor shook Joffrey's hand. "Mr Baratheon."

"Doctor Qyburn."

"Please sit down."

All three of them took a seat, Doctor Qyburn behind his desk and Sansa and Joffrey in front of him. Sansa eyes the man. She knew that he was one of the best doctors in all of Westeros; many other doctors disliked him, apparently because they didn't like his methods, but everyone was sure that their dislike was really caused by jealousy. Doctor Qyburn was an expert in every area of medicine, and he was highly efficient when treating his patients. He had been recommended to them by Cersei, Joffrey's mother, who would only tolerate that doctor near her.

"You are here because of the tests that you had done, isn't that right, Mrs Baratheon?"

Sansa nodded, too nervous to speak. Doctor Qyburn noticed her nervousness and smiled kindly.

"We are afraid that she might have problems to conceive," Joffrey said then, and neither Sansa not Doctor Qyburn missed the impatient ring of his voice. He wanted to now what the diagnostic for Sansa was immediately. "And if that is so, then we would like to know if there are any treatments, any procedures..."

"Of course," Doctor Qyburn said. Then he picked up a folder that he had on his desk and opened it.

Sansa almost gasped when she saw her name on the folder, and she held her breath. Those were the results... She felt like she was walking to the guillotine.

She waited while Doctor Qyburn read the results and prepared to hear the bad news... But then the doctor smiled. Sansa frowned. Why was he smiling.

Doctor Qyburn closed the folder and looked at Sansa with a kind smile again.

"Mrs Baratheon, you are completely healthy," he said.

"What?" both Sansa and Joffrey asked in unison.

"Yes, the results are all fine. You don't have any problem, you are healthy. You can conceive and have children with complete normality.

Before Sansa could even start enjoying the immense wave of relief that suddenly invaded her, Joffrey hissed at her side.

"Then why is she not pregnant?"

Doctor Qyburn looked at Joffrey then, and the kind smile disappeared from his smile. He stared at Joffrey for a couple of seconds, and then he picked up a second folder from his desk and read what was inside of it. The folder had Joffrey's name on it.

"Mr Baratheon, do you remember that we had some tests done on you are well?"

Joffrey scoffed, annoyed. "Yes, because you insisted. But that was a loss of time, they were completely unnecessary."

Sansa knew that they were unnecessary. Joffrey already had a son, Garrett, but he could not say it to Doctor Qyburn of course. However, Sansa sensed that something was wrong there...

"They weren't unnecessary," Doctor Qyburn said, shaking his head. He finished reading Joffrey's test results, and the he closed the folder and left it on the desk again. He looked at Joffrey straight to the eyes, and his expression was serious. Very serious. "Mr Baratheon, I'm afraid I have bad news for you."

Sandor was waiting outside the doctor's office. He had been standing on that hallway a long time already, and he wished he could hear what was going on inside the office. What was the doctor telling Sansa? Was the little bird alright?

He wondered what kind of bad news there were giving her, if they were giving her any, when suddenly the door opened. Sandor looked, and he saw Joffrey coming out of the office. He was fuming. Sandor had seldom seen Joffrey looking so furious, and it left him quite stunned. Joffrey didn't even look at him, he just walked down the hallway, away from the doctor's office and towards the exit.

Sandor, still puzzled, looked back at the door of the doctor's office and found Sansa coming out of it. He had expected her to look sad, especially after Joffrey's reaction... Because they had received bad news, that was for sure.

Sansa saw him and approached him. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"What did he tell you?" Sandor asked her then, in a soft voice. He did not want to upset her.

"That we can't have children," Sansa answered.

Sandor felt a mixture of emotions. He was relieved because he would have to see his nightmares come to life. He remembered the visions that he had had of Sansa, her belly big and round with Joffrey's child, and he felt so happy that they would never be true. But at the same time he felt sad, because his little bird would never be able to be a mother. He had seen before, back in the house, that that idea upset her. He was surprised, though, because of how calm Sansa was, and how easily she had told the news to him. Sandor had really expected to see her more upset.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

But again he was puzzled... He frowned when he saw Sansa start to smile. It wasn't a sad smile. It was a smile that spread all over her face!

"Sansa...?"

"It isn't me," she said then.

"What?"

"I don't have the problem," she told him, and she looked at him in the eyes. There was something in her eyes. Victory, perhaps.

It took Sandor a few seconds to process the information. Sansa wasn't sterile. Joffrey was.

And then he realized what that truly meant.

"Oh shit!"

Oops.