A/N: So I'm adjusting to co-writing as this is my first jab at it. Though I do hope to go about another story with Salllzy soon after this if this does get somewhere, who knows I might actually get kept on track! Anyway, I'm not sure where this story will quite go, but oh well, we're so far doing good and I'm worried I'm writing a bipolar personality a little too well.
Warning: Deadra break down and utter confusion and mayhem. Sheogorath would be proud!
Disclaimer: Dear Nine forgive me for I have sinned… I created not only a new Deadra but… Oh shoot! Disclaimer not confession and spoiler area! Anyway, Salllzy and I borrowed ideas and material from Bethesda, nothing of which we own, therefore we make no profit. We own merely the ideas presented within which are original and completely our own. So really all we own is plot and little else.
Title: Protection Always Has a Price, Dear Brother
Chapter Four: A Deadra's Madness
Heri hated battles, the last ones he remembered all too clearly. The last he had been forced to fight were all on Alinor, he cringed remembering the pointless fighting when he was certain diplomacy would have worked. When he came back Tiber soothed his pain but not for long. He and Tiber had drifted apart near the end as Heri could only watch his lover in growing pain and confusion. Something weighed the man, but he would not indicate what and it drove him to do things Heri could not understand.
Then they met one last time. They had died together in their sleep, Heri had taken a poison not due to his pain but because had he not his family, a brother, two sisters and parents as well as his nieces and nephews would have been killed. He saw Tiber when the darkness and pain faded back to reveal a strange plane. It was a lush garden. Then a man stepped from a golden throne. Hs skin shinned a golden light and his eyes were pure blue, his hair crimson, like the draconic wings upon his back. It was Akatosh. He told them they had suffered much, and so would rise; he told Tiber he would join those who had placed such weight on him.
When Tiber had looked at Heri his eyes were sad and unreadable beyond that. Akatosh apologized to Heri and told him that due to his nature he could not rise to Divinity, but as his most prominent aspect was the urge to protect and protection was not always a clear line he was to rise not to Divinity but a throne of a Deadric Prince. Then he said he would give the two a small amount of time and vanished. Heri was so confused and looked to Tiber hoping that his lover might finally lay down his jaded walls and let him back in again. Instead Tiber shed one tear and said they were not to be, that he and Heri could not be together and walked away through a curtain of gold that vanished behind him. Heri had felt himself shatter.
He'd been blessed with the knowledge befitting his new position, knew there were no rules against them. Mara appeared to him and soothed his anguish, saying Heri would not feel this alone forever. Heri had just looked at the beautiful woman and shook his head. He would have this pain haunt him forever. Then Mara sighed saying that Tiber had been tested and passed. Heri shook his head in more confusion than before, as Mara explained his test would be longer and much more difficult. The memories blurred, now he stood upon a battle field, like all and none he had been on before.
Two figures stood on a cliff edge. The battle was blurred around him. He nearly screamed when he saw one was the little bosmer he was protecting, and the other was Tiber. Tiber was severely injured and the bosmer was not a Divine. Tiber offered him an explanation for it all if he gave him one last chance and the little bosmer just shook in fear defeat and pain and confusion in the whisky eyes. Heri saw those eyes and saw himself as he had been in memories just moments ago. He couldn't let anyone suffer that kind of pain, but he could have Tiber? After so long longing and in pain he could have him and finally be let in fully? Then the two were falling. Heri screamed as both fell past the cliff edge one from a push of a blurred figure the other an ice shard through the chest.
Heri dove forward but as he raced after them he realized he could only save one, pain lanced through his chest like a blade.
Heri sat bolt upright wide awake and thankful that the bosmer was still asleep, as they'd moved partly apart. The bosmer on his back, Heri on his side beside the elf curled around him in a protective manner. Heri stood and paced shaken by old memories and the nightmare. He waited until the sky was decently tainted by dawn's glow before waking the small bosmer.
"You look troubled." The elf states looking concerned and Heri scoffs, brushing it off and pulling up as much of a mask as he can manage. He becomes unreadable. Heri brooded quietly as he watched Forowing butcher the stag after skinning it. He was impressed by the efficiency of the little bosmer. But Heri drifted back to thoughts of the one he pinned for.
Memories and time are the only things that no one can escape no matter how much they wish that they could; Heri knew this far too well. For years he had been haunted by Tiber leaving him yet there was nothing that he could really do about it, he also knew that Mara had no idea what she was talking about. Tiber had torn out his heart and stepped all over it, oh he may not be able to forgive the God but he had come to terms with the fact that they were not meant to be. After all how could he not after hundreds of years where he had not spoken or even seen his old lover.
Which was fine by Heri, honestly why should he care? After all what was the point in being with someone if they would leave you when the next pretty face came along, which was far too close to the truth. Heri knew that Tiber was faithful to him of that he had no doubt, he even felt guilty for implying Tiber had been anything close to unfaithful, but he knew about the swarms of women and men that would have gladly taken Tiber off his hands, something that he and Tiber hadn't allowed. They'd been committed even if not fully married, both had been faithful.
"You talked about a choice…?" Forowing asks hesitantly and Heri looks up from where he'd been staring at the floor. Heri nods and sits up no longer leaning back on the rock. Heri noticed the way the bosmer watched him. He filed that away as the little elf was attractive.
"Yes. You need to choose how to use me and my gifts. I can either be merely a force around you, which means I will be in the amulet acting like an enchantment, or like a summoned creature from oblivion coming from the amulet only when I am needed or called, or just give me free reign like a permanent bound Deadra if you will." Heri explains fully expecting one of the first, more than likely the first; so he is shocked when the elf instead asks him questions.
"So the last option means you'll just stay as you are now?"
"Yes." Heri answers too shocked to be condescending or sarcastic. It shows.
"No one ever lets you have control?" The bosmer asks and Heri suddenly chuckles low and deep and it send shivers through the elf. Heri moved like a cat as he moved so he was over the elf on his hands and knees.
"Oh, many have given me control, complete control, but not in this manner, not when I'm summoned like this with my amulet. But, if you change your mind I can understand, after all deadra are known to be unpredictable." As Heri said the last part he kept their eyes locked as he leaned down lightly biting the young elf's neck, not hard enough to bruise or break skin but just hard enough if the little airy gasp he heard was any indication. Heri pulled back to see a pretty blush on the elf and grinned as he pulled away completely.
"I… I want you to have free reign." The elf says softly face heating further as he now understood the double meaning. Heri smirks as his amulet changed accordingly, the silver chain shrinking to a loose chocker and the amulet becoming a circlet, two ebony birds swooping together to cradle a ruby in their wings. The circlet appeared on his brow and Heri actually laughed truly surprised. He touched the ruby feeling his power unbound and feeling exhilarated.
"How shocking it is to find a soul such as yours. Truly the wonders of Nirn are rare but are at least breathtaking in their beauty. Ah, it seems we have yet to have formal introductions. How rude of me. Heri, Deadric Lord of Protection, at your service." Heri say flourishing with a little bow as he was sitting it was less impressive than it could have been.
"Forowing, runaway bosmer, at yours." Forowing states smiling a little at Heri's antics and Heri tilts his head a little, curious.
"So you hail from Vallenwood I presume? Running from parents and their wish to barter you off or from some newer mechanic I am as of yet unaware of?" Heri asks and Forowing's face closes off, which was surprising, still easily read but the switch from happy and teasing to dark and troubled is worrisome. The young bosmer looks down and fidgets; hands worrying at his bedroll's edge.
"My father was killed a few years back, along with most of the rest of my family by the Thalmor. His views were not… Aligned with theirs. My mother… She died only three years ago. I found your amulet in a carnivorous plant and charmed it into opening for me with my flute. I went home helped pack all the family books into a chest that fits in an enchanted bag that I took with me when I ran. I have my family history, and my flute as well as my bow a hunting dagger and some cloths from home. That's… It actually. I wasn't able to get anything else." Forowing states the admittance, specifically the last part sounding like it hurt. Heri imagined leaving it all behind only having that small bit. He knew that pain, he only had memories. His family lingered in a sense, it had bleed and blended to one of the great Houses of Morrowind. He wasn't sure which, not like it mattered as none would recognize him, he assumed the Telvanni as his family had a long history of magic to begin with.
"If you would like to talk I will listen." Heri states smoking and materializing beside Forowing, he gently tugged the small mer into his lap holding him in a protective way. Forowing nods but is silent sniffling softly trying to hold back his tears. Heri takes notice and runs a hand in soothing circles over the small back and begins humming softly and hesitantly rests his head on the deep red waves. He realizes this wasn't how one would normally comfort their charge, this was how lovers shared comfort. He ignores the thought, holding the mer close as Forowing cries softly against his shoulder.
"I want them back, it's not fair." Forowing sobs and Heri looks up unable to answer and uncertain if the elf even wanted him to speak. Heri pressed a kiss to the red hair unable to stop his words. The pain he could sense in his charge making his walls drop.
"When we lose someone we love we will always want them back. It gets easier to deal with, I promise." Heri whispers and Forowing looks up understanding in his eyes that makes Heri hurt inside like he hasn't in years.
"You loved him…" Forowing whispers softly and Heri nods swallowing thickly to keep the knot in his throat down as he looks up. He watches the sky, it always drew him, the freedom one could find in the air with nothing holding you down or back, only wind whipping around you and that thrill. He sighs feeling the tears but he fights them. He refuses to cry for that man.
"He was someone I held dear… When we ascended he cut ties with me. It never got any less painful, only easier to deal with." Heri sighs closing his eyes feeling the wind and that wistful hope entered his heart again. Maybe if he could just show Talos he no longer felt then he'd come back.
"We should start moving soon." Forowing notes seeing the sun had risen almost high enough to clear the trees. Heri slowly unwraps his arms from around the bosmer but he felt reluctant to let little Forowing go. Heri watched the elf tear down camp then he turned into his bird form and began scouting ahead flying forward a little ways then back checking on his mer. He was pleased when he landed on the slim shoulder in front of the city he started grooming the elf pulling hair back from the bronze face and combing it with his beak before taking notice and stopping flapping back and changing form into himself, blushing lightly. He made sure to look presentable, but his nails which were almost claws stayed black and he had small fangs, as well as his horns which curled back then out like a dragon's.
"I have news from Helgan." Forowing states trying to ignore the looks thanks to Heri's obvious oddities. The guards nod and let him in with a half-hearted threat to not cause trouble. Heri tried not to smirk as most who saw him cowered down. Then they met the Jarl, who stood and placed a hand on his blade eyeing him wearily.
"I would sit if I were you Jarl of Whiterun. I can't be harmed by mere mortal steel." Heri states evenly. Balgruuf purses his lips and instead crosses his arms and keeps his eyes trained on Heri.
"Go on then." Balgruuf states flicking his gaze to Forowing only a moment. Forowing explains what happened at Helgen. The Jarl tensed. He talked quietly with his Housecarl and Steward only a moment before sending guards despite how Falkreath may take it.
"The Jarl would be wise to join Jarl Ulfric." Heri states voce soft but filled with the authority he had had since his mortal days by Talos. Balgruuf looked at The Demora closely.
"Why?" Heri smiles as he can see the Jarl is conflicted by this. He blinks and stretches out his wings and crosses his arms. It was reflexive and hiding his wings was something he was horrid at.
"A united Skyrim has always been the Empire's best military asset. Talos saw and used that. Ulfric knows how to look into the hearts of the people who follow him. That trait marks him as a true King, perhaps even the High King. It was what marked Jorunn. It was also what marked Talos. Ulfric will need strong men and women to stand by him and keep him sane, fighting for something one believes in is taxing. If he gain's a strong ally, he will break this ghost of the Legion." Heri councils. That catches the Jarl's attention.
"You have strange friends." He states to Forowing who blushed and bows his head in thanks at the acknowledgement. Heri looks at the bosmer and realizes he'd relaxed and looks back to Balgruuf.
"You aren't like others of your kind." The Jarls pries curious.
"I am not. I prefer it that way." Heri explains.
"How do you know Talos?" Balgruuf asks. Pain flashes across Heri's face.
"I was one advisors and generals. I left; I couldn't take the death and watching him close in on himself. He changed. When we died he became a Divine, I became demora." Heri explained wings betraying his discomfort, they hunched lower as if to protect his back. Balgruuf nods seeing there was a sore spot he did not wish to poke at. He'd write to Ulfric latter.
"I see..." Balgruuf says frowning in confusion and Heri gives a weakly amused chuckle.
"We deadra are closer to mortals than divines. I earned enough esteem to become a demon instead of merely dying. " Heri explains, which makes Balgruuf nod and start to mull things over in his mind. Heri secretly smiles to himself. He could sense a longing in the mortal, similar to Ulfric's own.
"Thank you for informing me, I have an elven bow I'd like to give you for your service to Whiterun, and would ask a favor if you would." Balgruuf says to Forowing. The bosmer nods and waits as the Jarl rises and leaves and comes back not only with a beautifully crafted bow, but a quiver full of arrows to match. Forowing was left blinking and speechless. Heri snickered.
"He means thank you. I think you may have broken the poor child." Heri teases as Forowing recovers shaking himself and blushing in embarrassment as Balgruuf just laughs.
"It's fine. Faringar, the court wizard, needs some help on finding a possible answer to this dragon mess. He can fill you in, if you would like to continue helping." Balgruuf states and Forowing slips the bow over his shoulder attaching the quiver to his belt he nods.
"I think I will. I have nothing to do or anywhere to go and the dragons could easily become a threat to everyone." Forowing states seriously and it makes Heri shake his head fondly, such eager youthful enthusiasm to help and protect. He honestly was like Tiber. At least a youthful innocent one. No, Heri feels annoyed with himself, Forowing was a different person completely, he wasn't even a man, he was mer. He follows the little mer as he walks with Balgruuf who is giving small vague details about the mage's pet project. A small flare of possessive jealousy hit his gut when the Jarl placed a hand on the young mer's shoulder. He smothered it with annoyance at how such a naïve youthful innocent was currently winding him around their little finger.
"Ah Balgruuf's new protégé…" Faringar greets back to them but trails off as he turns from his table hand which held a vial loosely going slack as his eyes land on the demora who towered in height in comparison to the nord and bosmer. Heri saw the vial drop and flicked his hand freezing it mid-fall he carefully levitates it up then sets in on the table. He didn't know what was in it, he didn't want it to possibly vaporize and be poison. Heri looked up at the mage and saw he'd gone silent eyes analyzing him trying to figure him out. Heri smirked and gave an unimpressed snort and simply returned to looking around making certain nothing was about to bleed out of the shadows to attack them.
"An unbound deadra?" Faringar asks looking Heri over curiously, Heri could sense the confusion and the mild thought of which Prince he may belong to. Heri snorts and rolls his eyes, he crosses his arms and waits. There was nothing in the room that as of yet wanted to attack them. By them Heri meant Forowing and himself. After a silent moment since Balgruuf had left them at the door Heri sighs, because Forowing was intimidated and felt uneasy and he was tired of being studied.
"I am not unbound but I belong to no deadric lord you know mortal. Indeed I belong to no one." Heri states evenly, knowing his voice alone would make the wizard even more curious, he did not have the gravelly voice most of his kind possessed, almost sounding fully mortal save the strange ethereal quality his deeper rasp held. He sounded like one of the Princes, not a mere demonic warrior that listened and obeyed his masters blindly. In fact most of the demora any saw were from Mehrunes Dagon's plane.
Heri remembered the Hero of Kvatch fondly, Gabriel was after all now his second in command. Gabriel had reminded Heri that mortals could poses traits most would consider contradictory, but Gabriel was exceptionally pure and innocent for most mortals. He had never killed an innocent, nor had he stolen from any who did not deserve to be dropped down a few pegs. He fought to protect those he cared about and even those he did not. Gabriel had so reminded Heri of himself, as had Martin, so when they both passed, he had appeared to them, upon being granted permission by Akatosh.
He had approached Martin in an open field that rested somewhere between his plane and Arkay's. Martin had accepted in a heartbeat, Heri had explained everything that he would be allowed to return to his lover, Gabriel, though only as a bird. As well as how he would become a dedra under his command, he would reside in the spheres of protection, sacrifice and defiance. Martin knew all he would need to yet still accepted. He appeared to Gabriel in a similar manner. Explained it all called Martin to him and released his bird form allowing the Septim to hold his precious lover, and then smiled as Gabriel agreed as well. The two were beautiful together and Heri had felt jealous, but had ignored it.
Heri noticed in his idle mussing Faringar had finally noticed Forowing and was explaining things. The two seemed to be getting along, at least Faringar seemed not so annoyed by the little elf's presence. Then they were leaving after Forowing bought some food for the travel so they weren't totally dependent on the deer. As they traveled Heri grew board of the silence, even in his plane of existence things were not this silent.
"You only have a hunting knife and two bows. Do you know how to fight, it is one thing to use arrows for hunting, another thing to use them to kill, and you will have to." Heri states, watching the bosmer stiffen. Forowing freezes looking a little shocked but he shifts his weight uncomfortably, and nods his head as they begin to move
"I've never used an arrow to do anything but hunt. I never… Until recently I've never needed to fight really." Forowing admits looking down. Heri smiles a little he had a few things he could teach the cute little bosmer, but those could wait, after all his powers could be changed if Forowing decided he was a little too troublesome as he was.
"Then take this." Heri states waving a hand before himself and out of the silver mist pulled a black blade, wicked looking even sheeted. It was a short blade but with how lithe the bosmer was it would fit his style, which Heri had a feeling was quick in quick out. Most bosmer were if forced into close quarters, and if not their opponents already had five arrows in their chest and wouldn't be moving anytime soon anyway.
"I… Thank you." Forowing states hesitantly, taking the blade with a strange look on his face, like he was worried if he touched it, it would vanish. He strapped it to his belt and looked up at Heri. The deadra Lord watched him crimson eyes unnaturally bright, Forowing bet in dim light they'd glow, but he'd yet to see him in any light save dusk or dawn and daylight. At least not when he wasn't worried out of his mind. He blushed as the other looked him over, Forowing could feel it and see it, the eyes scanned his face as if cataloging a painting.
"A beautiful blade for a mer of equal beauty. Blood red hair, fine whisky eyes and full copper lips, truly a perfect picture of a bosmer." Her states as if describing something like weather, but Forowing was growing used to the strange deadric Lord and his candid manner. Even if mostly Heri seemed to have locked himself away tight as if he did not wish to grow attached to anyone or anything, he managed to make Forowing feel safe and cared for. Which considering the type of creature he was a little weird.
"Th-thank you? I think…" Forowing replies looking down as his face and ears color at the compliment. He wasn't used to such attentions as he was still considered a child and he didn't like hanging around other bosmer his age, they acted so… They didn't seem to care that the Thalmor were taking away their culture, forbidding this and that as heretical or barbaric. He knew the old ways, he liked them, how could things they had done as a race for years and generations be wrong? It wasn't for High Elves to decide, of that Forowing was certain.
"Oh, so fresh, be flattered. I do not throw out such remarks lightly. I am not a liar, at most you will hear me say half-truths. Very different then lying. The idiot assumed the rest, not my problem nor fault." Heri points out and Forowing nods a little reluctant. Heri was a deadric Lord, he viewed things in a different light, Forowing expected. Forowing freezes his eyes scanning the path ahead, and then he whips around, looking confused.
"There's something off about this. Last time I passed here there wasn't an arrow in the tree ahead. Nor was there blood on the path." Forowing states looking extremely worried. Heri closes his eyes and fans out his power smiling as he opens his eyes looking vicious.
"Bandits. Four. None are very good archers, if I turn into falcon and distract them you could easily take them out with your bow. Think of this as practice." Heri states flashing a smile Forowing guessed was meant to be encouraging nut instead made him want to cower. Instead he drew the new bow and notched and arrow moving toward the trees away from where Heri moved. Once the deadra lord was a bird he flew into the trees and once Forowing hears the first cry he crouches down knee to stone to steady aim.
The first was simple he ran out and wore armor that did not even cover his chest; the shot floored him, lung pierced he wouldn't live long. Before that could sink in another ran out, but this one wore full leather armor, Forowing fired three arrows quick without much thought, concerned more about surviving. One his shoulder making the newest bandit stumble, the second hit the lower chest, and the third hit high, near the neck but too low. The last had Heri attacking him a flurry of feathers and flashing talons and the unmistakable shree of the predatory bird shrill and sharp in the air. He was wearing steel plate. Forowing froze eyes wide, he drew his blade and shouldered his bow. Elven arrows would glance off the steel.
"You little pointy eared bastard!" The bandit growls waving an arm at Heri who let out another cry and Forowing pulled the blade shaken as he tried to find a weak point in the armor. Behind the legs under the arms, Forowing notes as he jerks under a swing coming up behind the bandit. He slashes the blade across the backs of the knees, surprised how easily the blade tears through the dark leather and flesh beneath. The man falls like a tree and Forowing scrambles back blinking at the blade like and owl.
"I'll finish it." Heri sighs seeing the elf was in shock, possibly never having taken any life save an animal's. He rips the helmet off the bandit and sneered at the terrified expression, he was knelt over the man frankly surprised he wasn't screaming. He reached down a gauntlet materializing on his hand and it's claws sharp as the blade he'd given to the bosmer he rakes open his throat.
"I hope you lived your life to the fullest because no paradise awaits the likes of you." Heri spits before withdrawing his hand the black metal dripping in blood. Forowing won't ask where the fourth bandit is he feels sick he wants to drop the blade and curl up tight in a ball and forget. Heri notices and waves his hand, the gauntlet and blade are clean, he walks over sheaths the blade and guides the bosmer to turn away and sit on a rock. Heri goes and sees if there are any gems, or coin on them and to check if any arrows can be saved. The arrows survived and all together there was about fifty coins on them and two amethysts and a sapphire.
"Here, put this in your pouch." Heri states handing the elf the coins and gems, as he places the arrows in the quiver. Forowing does as asked but is silent he stands hesitantly and walks the path further, not feeling like talking after what had just happened. Heri remained silent and walked a little behind his elf. Perhaps just killing them and not saying anything may have been better.
They had stopped as the sun went down Heri only sat on a rock and watched the elf go about setting up his little camp, a little fire then the furs and bedroll. Heri watched as he picked at his food before just curling up to sleep, his back to him. Heri sighed. The bosmer wasn't cut out for this kind of life, far too innocent. Forowing didn't kill unless for food. He didn't have the mindset of a warrior.
"Akatosh, what have you done?" Heri whispers into the breeze staring up at stars. He waits not needing as much sleep as his current charge, one good night could last him several days. It only took an hour, then Forowing whimpers body shaking but he's still sleeping. Heri stands and goes no kneel by the elf, wanting to be certain but the sweat and pale face assures him. He shakes Forowing awake and the bosmer sits up shaking and looking around with a startled cry. Heri grabbed the hand that had gone for the knife hidden under the bed roll.
"Be calm! It was only a dream, little one." Heri sooths and slowly Forowing relaxed eyes still wide and breath coming in fast pants body shaken. Heri is gentle as he sooths back the hair trying to calm the wild fear in those eyes until he feels a hand grab his armor and pull him close soft lips pressed to his. He froze in shock not having seen that coming. He kisses back eyes slipping closed and he pulls the elf close to him deepening the kiss further and purring at the innocent taste of the young mer. Then it sinks in as Forowing makes a soft noise at the back of his throat. Heri pulls back sharply. Blinking at the confused amber eyes and panting softly himself.
"S-sorry! I-I…" Heri hushed him with a gentle hand. He could sense the panic welling up in the mer and after having just calmed him down he did not wish to do so again.
"Hush, child. You were scared and looked for comfort." Heri whispers he was too old to not know that was all it was. He held the smaller elf as he began to shake; the nightmare it seemed was not so easy to keep at bay.
"Shhh, I've got you, I'll protect you little one. I swear it. I'll not let you get hurt." Heri whispers these sweet nothings until Forowing is once again sleeping and silent. It was only then it hit him. He hadn't been lying, nor had he said the words because his current position required them. He'd sworn to protect the bosmer figuratively not just as he was currently sworn to do so physically.
"Shit." Heri whispers and he swears he hears a faint familiar voice in the soft breeze that stirs in his hair. He looked up and around shaking his head as he looks down. He sighs and curls up holding the bosmer loosely and drifts into a light sleep. Maybe he was imagining the sense of contentment the weight in his arms gave him. He wasn't feeling warmth for the little elf. No matter how sweet and innocent. Heri silently cursed as he knew the feeling in his chest was no mere affection, he cared on some level. He pushed the thoughts away; the dragon spirit in the little mer is what drew him nothing more. Not the naivety or the sweet trust. It was just that primal power of his soul.
A/N: Heri is in denial. Review, whatever, it's nice for feedback nut ya know it's your call. Salllzy and I would appreciate it though.