Note: I'm one day late since I promised to update this week end, sorry. Stories keep bugging me lately and although I have already two multichaptered fics waiting to be written, that will wait after TSFMS is finished, more ideas came to my mind.

Aaaand, yes, I'm using an A/N to keep you updated on what's coming fic-wise ^^

Negative is being currently written (the first chapter will be posted later today or tomorrow probably, keep an eye open). It's a short multichaptered fic that will be updated along with TSFMS.
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Negative: a processed piece of film where the image is reversed so that the shadows are light and the highlights are dark. What is it in the scarred, but insanely beautiful model facing him, that makes Matt so eager to focus and shoot the fragility under the tough attitude, the wounds under the fat ego?

With Every Heart Beat (first chapter already posted) was a oneshot but will get two more chapters. It's inspired from real life and I felt that somehow I had more to write about it.
Genre: Romance/Angst
Summary: He's doing it again... Hell, I can't say it doesn't hurt. Because it truly does... When Mello's concentrated like that on his screen, a smile gracing his features from time to time, that he tries to hide, checking discreetly if I saw it or not, I know it's happening again. MATT POV

As planned, Stay Tuned and Bookbinding will wait after TSFMS is completed.
See my profile for more infos/links to the fics.

Sorry for the long A/N, now enjoy TSFMS 50!

Matt
It had been complicated, and it had most certainly been the most unnerving wait of all my life.
Mihael was awake and that was all I could think about, and my patience was wearing thin so once again, people around me had taken charge of things while I was being a poor excuse of a human being.

The prosecutor had kept my family informed of the progress almost hour after hour. Somehow, the fact that my mother had shown what the wrath of a mother could be had impressed him, and although he was by no means acting by fear, he probably felt kind of guilty for not helping in the first place.
Oh, he didn't dip too much into the situation, still because of the Keehls, so he was doing everything in his power in any other area: he collected informations directly from his friend, the lawyer that was representing Mihael concerning the complain filed by my mother, he kept everything at bay concerning said complain and the authorities, lengthening the procedure to gain much needed time, so as long as the complain was being examined, Mihael's parents were in the same situation as us all: waiting.

The Keehls had apparently tried to force Mihael's travel to Germany once again with much backhanding, threats and a whole army of lawyers of their own, but US law was US law, Mihael would not leave the country.
He was awake, but still unable to speak, and even if the barrier between considering that he was still not in possession of his full capacities and acknowledging his conscious state was very thin, criminals wouldn't leave the country while under arrest, and even an easy to bribe doctor would not go against that fact.

I had been so angry when I had learnt that they had left after the doctor had refused to consider their offer once again, ready to use their lawyers to retrieve Mihael back to Germany, but totally unconcerned with the accusation of rape. I already knew that they didn't give a fuck about Mihael as their son so that didn't surprise me to the slightest, but they had some interest somewhere for wanting him back to his native country so badly, obviously.
I was only relieved that, knowing it was the Mafia, they hadn't done anything drastic about the situation or harmed anyone.

The Mafia... I still couldn't believe it. Well, I did, but it was so foreign to me... It was like aliens and the matrix, it was some kind of unrealistic concept out of a movie and I could hardly imagine it fitting my own reality.
And right now I was just too anxious and overjoyed that I dismissed it voluntarily, as big as it was.

So here we were. Day two of Mihael being awake, the Keehls gone, and me being as annoying as a mosquito turning around my parents, running to the phone each time it rang. My father finally kept it in hand to prevent me to answer it because my impatience kind of made me rude toward the prosecutor. I wanted to see Mihael for fuck's sake!

I was already feeling the tears sting my eyes when once again my father hung up and looked at me, shaking his head as a sign that I was still not able to visit MihaeL.
That night I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. Even if it was not as bad as crying myself to sleep because I was fearing for Mihael's life, it was still painful, I was in need of him, so badly. Just a look into his room, only a glimpse of his face, that's all I wanted...

I was woken up by my father shaking me.
"Mail, wake up. Mail, hurry up, come on, get ready, we're leaving for the hospital..."
"WHAT?!" I rubbed my eyes, suddenly in panic, my mind not completely awake. What happened? Mihael! Oh fuck no... please no, not that! My brain was already on drama alert, thinking that the worst had happened.
"You're allowed to visit Mihael, now come on, get dressed, we have to leave." My father reassured me, seeing as I was freaking out.
I almost knocked him out as I jumped out of bed. I didn't even take the time to open the blinds or light the lamp beside my bed, I ran to my closet, scrabbling for clothes that I quickly put on before running to the living room.

My parents were both ready to go too, and as we left the parking lot in my parents' car, my mother trying, from the front seat, to comb my messy hair with her fingers, I realised, looking at the tiny vehicle clock, that it wasn't even 6 in the morning.
My surprise didn't escape my father's eyes that were looking at me in the rearview mirror.
"The prosecutor called, Mihael's lawyer is going to get you in to see Mihael. Whatever happens, be polite ok, son?"
My father knew me well. I could possibly unleash my negative feelings on the prosecutor so he was making sure I behaved. Truth is, the situation made me totally uncaring for being an asshole. Call me selfish, but all that mattered was when I would be able to see Mihael. But My father had said 'son' so he was damn serious, I better behave.

When we arrived, the prosecutor himself, along with Mihael's assigned lawyer, were on the border of the road, just before the hospital's parking lot, waving for us to stop there. It was obvious we weren't supposed to be there.
"Come with me Mail. Sorry Madam, it would be too difficult to let you all in, I..." the lawyer began but my mother cut him, understanding that it was already much and that if anyone was able to sneak in among us three, it was obvious that it would be me.

I exited the car and followed the two men. We reached the back entrance and I was surprised to see that the lawyer had a pass.
Under my questioning gaze, he explained that the policemen guarding Mihael's room had to come from there since it would be too much fuss if they arrived from the main entrance everyday.
After a talk with the doctor, leading the topic toward the specific subject he had in mind, the lawyer had managed to have Zimmerman explain the various ways to favour the recovery in a situation such as Mihael's, one being the presence of the loved ones and family. Zimmerman himself, as rotten as he could be, had admitted that the Keehls, although being family, were of no use in that domain, but that the presence of Mail may have positive effects on Mihael. He had seen with his own eyes Mail's feelings for Mihael, even if he had somehow mocked him.
The added bonus that the lawyer took advantage of was that Zimmerman himself had started to be more than afraid of the Keehls. Mrs Keehl had implied many threats once Dr Zimmerman had refused her bribing, but the presence of the lawyer had made the choice head toward legality, although Zimmerman was an easy man to corrupt.

The lawyer hadn't said a thing about it to the doctor, but even if Zimmerman had accepted any sop from the Keehls, Mihael wouldn't have left the country. The medical advice couldn't prevail over law. What bothered him more was that if Mihael's parents, as surrounded by their own law counselling court as they were, therefore aware of that fact, had insisted nonetheless, there was something fishy about it. And if Zimmerman knew of anything possible, then he was even more rotten than the lawyer had imagined he was.

Dismissing the matter for a moment, the lawyer had since then convinced Zimmerman to allow Mail to visit Mihael. The only condition to the agreement had been for Mail to visit alone and before opening hours, at times when the staff was the less numerous around Mihael.
Policemen on guard were briefed and a pass had been given to the lawyer by Zimmerman himself, making it clear that although he had made it possible, he wouldn't take part to it.
The Keehls could show up anytime and he didn't want to be stuck between law and the Mafia. All he wanted was for Mihael to finally speak, recover, get out of here, and his own life to go back to normal, without lawyers, Mafia or annoying gay boyfriends.

That was doing it for me. Anything would have done it, as long as I could finally see Mihael.
The lawyer just took extra precautions so the medias weren't alerted in any way. After all the fuss they had made these last days it was better that my visits were kept unknown from the public.

We crossed neverending corridors and finally reached Mihael's room.
The two policemen stood up from their chairs as we approached and simply nodded to the lawyer before sitting again. One resumed his nap while the other went back to his crosswords.
Apart from them, we hadn't met anyone on our way.

The lawyer opened the door and let me in.
And suddenly the wait was over. The pain, the fear, the sorrow, it all vanished.

Mihael was still in an awful state, bandages covering his face and probably his whole body under the sheet, the few skin I could see was still purplish, his nails broken and fingertips bloody, barely beginning to heal, but he was there, in front of my eyes.

That wasn't enough. I looked at the lawyer, and he smiled to me.
"What are you waiting for? Be careful though, but you can kiss him you know." His voice was soft, reassuring, and I started crying.
Wiping my tears, I approached the bed. The lawyer discreetly closed the door to leave me with some privacy.

Mello
My heart started beating faster even before my mind acknowledged his presence. I don't know if it was the familiar sound of his steps, the shuffling of fabric as he would, like usual, take his hands out of his pockets, or the well known smell of cigarette mixed with his everyday soap and shampoo. I just knew.
So when he, carefully, tentatively, caressed the back of my hand with the tip of his fingers, I realised how bad my state was.

All at once I wanted to scream, stand up, hold him, and my brain had no control over my cognitive functions, I could barely crack my eyes open and even the faint whimper that tried to escape me was so inaudible that I didn't hear myself utter it. It hit me like a storm. I suddenly saw the whole accident loop behind my lids, every detail, I was feeling the fear again, the excruciating pain and the certitude that I was going to die and I started to cry, it was so painful because every sob shook my already aching body, but I couldn't stop.

I knew that I had probably been stuck here in this hospital for days, weeks, the extent of the situation was only occurring to me now but I was aware of my own state enough to know that if I was unable to use my body, if I was wearing a minerva, if even trying to speak was almost impossible, then I was in a pretty bad shape.

The reasoning didn't prevent the wave of panic that washed over me. I just wanted to call Mail, to tell him to help me, to take me in his arms, and the tears stung my face and even if I was alive now, maybe I was dying, and I didn't want to die without doing all the things I had planned to do with him, not only the date, but all the rest, the sex, that stupid matter that had prevented us to make love properly until now, and fuck, there was a lifetime of things I craved to do with him. I wanted it all and now I couldn't even tell him that I loved him more than everything.
You know how it felt? Imagine being claustrophobic and locked in a coffin, buried alive. That's how it felt. I was trapped in my own body and I was so fucking scared and freaking out that I didn't have enough time ahead of me, oh God help me... please help me!

Matt
I regretted almost immediately touching him.
I don't know what I had done wrong but Mihael was all of a sudden agitated, and I could see that he was crying. He could obviously barely move but his body shook and tears were flooding his face. He was trying to say something but I couldn't hear more than a whistling breath.
I was devastated. I had no clue as to what he was going through, what he was thinking, feeling right now. Was he aware that I was there? I wanted to comfort him, but I was afraid to break him... he looked to fragile, so frail in that bed...

Carefully, I slid my hand around his, holding it without any pressure, and cupped his face, the side that wasn't under bandages, with my other palm. Once I did, I tried not to move my fingers, not to scrape the surface of his scratched skin, I just wanted him to feel the heat of my hand, to know that I was there, that I would protect him. I bent over, and brought my lips close to his ear.
"Mihael, it's me, Mail... shhh, it's ok, everything's ok, you'll get better soon and... I missed you so much Mihael, but I'm here, everything's gonna be fine now."
What more could I tell him? I wanted things to be fine, and I'd fight for them to be. I don't know what his parents had in store, but there, with Mihael so weak, so wounded, I think I would find the guts to kill them if I had to.
I hoped it would never come to such an extend, but I would.

More tears were running from the only eye that wasn't covered, but he had stopped shaking, and I was a bit relieved. Had he heard me?

The lawyer knocked softly to the door and opened it a second later.
"Mail, I'm sorry, I can't let you in any longer, the doctor allowed only ten minutes so we need to go now."
Only ten minutes? My heart sank to my feet.
"Will I be able to come back?" I asked, ready to burst into tears.
"Tomorrow, probably." he smiled, "Say goodbye to Mihael for now, he needs to rest."
He closed the door, waiting for me on the other side.

I bent again over Mihael, and deposited a kiss as gentle as possible on his chapped lips. This simple action made it even harder for me to leave. It was our first kiss in weeks, and I wanted to stay by his side.
I took my hand off of Mihael's face, and the loss of contact tore my heart apart. Why did I have to leave him here alone? Why couldn't I stay?

I suddenly felt a slight pressure of his fingers on my hand that was still holding him. My heart rose back from my feet to my chest and violently tried to escape my ribcage.
"Mihael..." I was happy, so happy, because it had probably taken a huge amount of energy, and an excruciating pain for him to do just that. It was the smallest gesture, and it was so much that I was exploding of joy.
Our first communication in weeks.