As Colin Gomez-Loud ate his dinner in the kitchen, he did something he rarely did anymore: he thought of Mama and Chica.
"I wonder how they're doing without me," he thought. It probably wasn't surprising that he was missing, since people in San Diego had a tendency to dissappear if they knew anything about, say, a shady gang deal or what not. Considering his group of friends, Colin assumed that everyone expected him to either be beaten, kidnapped, or killed.
"I hope Chica doesn't miss me a whole lot. Her birthdays coming up, anyway..." he said as he checked the calender on the fridge. September 6. Her birthday was exactly a week from today.
"I wish I was still there for them. They could really use-"
"COLIN!"
He jumped out of his chair at the unmistakable sound of Lolas voice. Glaring at her, he said, "You're still not as creepy as Lucy, but still..."
"I expect that you know about me and Lanas birthday in 2 days. I'm just here to make sure that you remembered."
"Remember? How could I forget?" He lied, with much more concern in his eyes. "No one ever tells me anything," he said under his breath as she turned around again.
"Oh, and Colin? I EXPECT A PRESENT."
Slightly startled by his sisters strong tone, he said, "Already taken care of, Chica mejor. Expect the best present that you've ever gotten!"
"I expect nothing less," she scoffed as she walked to her room.
The next day...
"C'mon, CMON! There HAS to be something good in here!" Colin said to Lincoln and his friend, Clyde McBride, as he searched the children's section of clothing at JCPennys.
"Ummm, I'm not sure that clothing isn't gonna be the way to go here, Colin," Clyde said as he frantically paced around the room. "I don't usually pay attention to Lola, but when I do see her, she's always wearing the same thing."
"Clyde, Lincoln, if I don't get Lola the best present EVER, I'm toast! There are 3 rules in the loud house: no swearing, no fighting, and DO NOT MAKE LOLA MAD! And I've only known her for 3 weeks!"
"If you want to make Lola happy, I think you should get her something princess-ey. Like a tiara! Or a Beauty Pageant thing!"
"Lincoln, you are a genius!"
They made their way to a costume store, where that found a somewhat expensive looking tiara. They took it to checkout, where they received a rude awakening.
"200 DOLLARS?!"
"Sir, I'm not sure if you realize it, but that Tiara was manufactured by the same company that owns Rolex. Needless to say, it's expensive," the man behind the counter said.
"But seriously, two hundred? There aren't any REAL stones in here, are there?"
"Well, not TECHNICALLY, but it's made out of a very rare metal. It would be a miracle to find it any other place in this town."
"Oh, forget it. I'll just get her a shirt or-"
"Colin, wait!" Clyde said. "You know how much Lola likes expensive stuff, right?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, if you buy her that tiara, you'll probably make Lola very, VERY happy that you spent your hard earned cash all on her!"
"Clyde, its not that I dont want to buy it for her. I just dont have enough..."
"Cash? Simple solution! If we all pitch in our money, we'll be able to get that tiara, make Lola happy, and be able to stop at Flips on the way home!"
"Ok, take back what I said about Lincoln being the genius. That's obviously Clyde." He then turned to the cashier.
"I'll take it!"
On the way home that evening, however, Lincoln brought up another problem.
"Wait, did you think of getting LANA anything, Colin?"
"No problemo, Chico. I have the perfect present for her, and it's living in the basement!" He said to the confusion of Lincoln and Clyde.
"Happy birthday too you!" The Loud family sang as both Lola and LANA blew out the candles on their birthday cake. The twins party with their friends was tomorrow night, but the parents wanted to make sure that the family would be involved.
"Thanks, guys!" They said in unison as they walked over to open their presents.
"They're going to love your presents, Linc," Colin whispered to a nervous Lincoln as they sorted out the presents.
"Are you kidding?! I got Lola a book! A BOOK! What kind of person gets their 7 year old sister a book on their birthday?!"
"Hey, calm down. It looks like they're opening mine first anyway."
"Something pretty, something pretty, something pretty..."
"Something dirty, something dirty, something dirty..."
Lana was the first one to open her gift. But instead of the delighted squeal he was expecting, he was greeted by a long silence.
"Uhhh, Colin, what do you expect me to do with this?" She asked as she held up an expensive tiara in her hands.
"What?! Ugh, Lincoln, I thought I asked YOU to label them!"
"I did! Oh no, I must've mixed them up last night!"
"Wait, so if Lana has Lolas present, then Lola must hav-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Oh no." Lincoln and Colin said to each other as they raced into the living room from the kitchen.
"GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!" Lola screamed as she frantically waved her arm around, a large, hairy animal attached to it.
"Ok, do NOT panic!" Colin yelled to Lola. "It won't bite you if you stay calm and don't move!" Lola didn't hear him well enough to understand, though, as she continued to scream and wave her arm around.
"LINCOLN?! COLIN?! WHAT IIS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"
"Padre, I can explain! I was cleaning my room last night, see, and I found a tarantula in the corner-"
"THIS IS A TARANTULA?!" Lola screamed as she tried even harder to get it off her arm.
"So I thought it would make a nice present to Lana, and so I put it in a shoebox, wrapped it a couple minutes ago, and Lincoln put the labels on..."
"Which, in hindsight, probably wasn't the smartest idea," Lincoln said as his sisters came over to look at Lola.
"Woah, nice arm, Lola! You could throw a mean softball pitch if you keep it up!"
"Dude, Lola, nice dance moves! Shoe me how to do those sometime!"
"Hey, what's Laila doin-AHHHH! A SPIDER!" Leni said as she saw a different spider on the floor and ran.
"Lincoln, Colin, go to your rooms! Your grounded for the rest of the week!" Rita said.
"Aw, con Madre, it was an accident!" Colin tried to explain, but a quick death glare sent both the boys packing.
"Lola is going to kill me..." Colin said as he laid down in his bed, finally able to doze off to sleep after a while.
Colin woke up and went upstairs to get ready for school. He poured himself some cereal, watched TV, and finally went upstairs to comb his hair and brush his teeth. He had just gotten to the bathroom door when...
"OH MY GOD!" Lincoln yelled as he burst out of his room, something strangely odd about him. After a minute of wondering what was different, Colin came to the stunning conclusion.
"Dude, where are your eyebrows?!"
"More importantly, Colin, WHERE'S YOUR HAIR?!"
"My WHAT?!"
Colin forced himself to look up into the mirror.
"OH MY GOD!" he screamed as he looked at himself in the mirror. He still kept some hair at the top of his cornrows, but from his ears down, nothing. Not even his beard was spared.
"OH, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT LITTLE PIECE OF-"
"Looking for something?"
"They both turned around to see Lola, holding something oddly families in her hands.
"M-my hair. My beautiful hair!" Colin moaned. he felt a rush in his stomach as Lola held the hair she had cut off of him an the morning.
"That's right. After that WONDERFUL birthday present I got last night from you 2,I thought that I might as well... REPAY the favor."
Lincoln turned to face his sister.
"Lola, this isn't repaying the favor! This is just cruel!"
"Cruel you say? Sort of like my "present?" Hmm, is that mom and dad I hear coming up the stairs? I better run, then. Buh Bye!"
"Colin, Lincoln, what are you- Ummm..."
"Mom, Dad, can me and Colin miss school for like, the next week or two?"
The room was silent for a while, until the parents broke the silence in almost perfect twin unison.
"LOLA LOUD! GET OVER HERE!"