A/N: Thank you for the reviews on the previous chapter. You guys are awesome.
Since I will not be able to update at all in October due to exams, I decided to update more before my study break.
Hope you enjoy!
And so the drama begins… Please bear in mind that this is the first relationship for both of them.
Ana POV:
'GREY ENTERPRISES HOLDINGS inc.' You have got to be kidding me. We are flying to Georgia in a private plane? A plain he owns? Well, this is Christian Grey and I can't really see him flying across the world in a commercial plane, even if it is in first class.
Speechless, I follow him onto the plane with Luke and Taylor behind us, where we are greeted by yet another blond and a friendly older man with salt and pepper hair, who I assume is the pilot judging by his uniform.
"Welcome on board the Grey Jet. My name is Regina and I will be attending to you during the flight. If you need anything, please let me know." She says to our small group.
"Hello Regina. This is Ms. Steele. You know Taylor and this is Luke Sawyer."
We all greet Regina while the pilot exchange a few words with Christian before he heads to the cockpit. The inside of the plane is decorated in mostly blue and looks elegant, but also warm and inviting. Obviously everything looks insanely expensive too. It takes a while for the pre-flight inspection to be complete, but since I'm busy going through what I have to do to get ready for my new job, I don't notice the delay. Christian is busy on his laptop and Taylor and Luke are busy planning the rest of the week. Christian and Taylor will be flying back tomorrow evening and I will fly back with Luke on Thursday or Friday. I haven't made up my mind yet, something that I'm sure irritates the living daylights out of these men who are used to time schedules and fixed arrangements long in advance. They will unfortunately just have to get used to it since I like to live in the moment. I might feel like coming back to Seattle on Wednesday or I might only want to leave on Saturday morning. It all depends on my mood and how the visit goes. One would think they are used to coping with moods since they have a boss with more mood swings than a pregnant woman.
"Are you listening to me?" I hear Christian say next to me and notice for the first time that we are in the air and the seatbelt sign is off.
"I'm sorry. You were saying?" When he raises his brows, I give him a smile and a peck on the cheek.
"I asked if you wanted to see the rest of the plane." He repeats himself, making my smile grow wider and his brows raise higher.
"Keep your pants on, Grey. I was thinking about something and wasn't paying attention. Besides, I repeat myself often enough to deserve a break when you have to do the same." When his eyes grow a shade darker and he gets that look in his eyes, he leans in to whisper in my ear.
"I would like to take these pants off. Care to join me?" And I wonder what his response would be if I told him to go ahead and come back when his done. But instead I nod and get up, taking his hand and making our way to the back of the plane.
"This is the study." He points to the left. "This is the bathroom, a meeting room and finally," he opens the door in front of us and pull me inside, closing it behind us again, "the bedroom. I would have loved to fuck you in my office earlier, but we were running a bit late. Feel like joining the Mile High Club?" he asks, wiggling his eyebrows before reaching for the hem of my shirt.
"It depends. Are you a member already?" Yes, I know, silly, but I would like to know his answer to that.
"I told you, Anastasia, I never spent time with the others, outside of the playroom. Why do I get the feeling that you don't believe me?"
"Because I don't understand how they would have settled for only that. How they could have wanted that." I'm spoiling the mood, but I can't stop the words from coming out.
"I wanted that and so did they. Case closed. Are we really going to keep on discussing it every time we do something together?"
"No, I was just wondering how many times you've… done it… in here. Sorry, I didn't mean to spoil the mood." I say, dropping my head to his chest since it doesn't seem to bother him that much.
"You haven't spoiled anything and I haven't… done it… in here… yet. That is about to change as soon as I can get you out of these clothes."
Working his magic again, not long afterwards I'm on my back on the bed and him between my legs. The fact that there are people right outside of the door, is forcing me to stay very quiet, but it's difficult with Christian working me up to an orgasm with his tongue. Licking, biting and sucking me into the pleasure zone that I've come to love. How can I not? Christian is an exceptional lover, even though I have nothing to compare it to.
When he slides two fingers into me, still circling my clitoris, I grab onto the bed spread to avoid crying out. Damn, this feels so good that I don't want it to end. I would happily spend the entire flight right here beneath him.
After not one, but two mind blowing orgasms, I savour the feeling of him entering me. The muscles on his arms flexing as he puts his weight on it to hover over me. The look of utter relieve when he is in as deep as he can go, makes me feel really good that I'm the one he wants to be with. Stopping a minute to stare at me before pulling out and thrusting back in again. If I can only get a picture of him like this. I know it would be considered porn, but he is hot, sexy and sinful, all rolled into one man.
Christian POV:
Four days and three nights. That is how long I would be without her and I fucking hate it. If it wasn't for the fact that I didn't want to smother her too much and push her away, I would insist on staying in Georgia. Well, that and the fact that I really need to spend more time actually in the office. Today just proved again that I cannot trust my staff to cope on their own. Even with all the freedom I gave them to do their jobs, they still need me there and available.
Ana is looking so peaceful lying next to me. She fell asleep and I just don't have the heart to wake her yet. Diner would be served soon, but I decided to let her sleep as long as possible. I could watch her sleep for hours. She looks so peaceful and beautiful, but then again, she always looks beautiful to me.
I use this time to consider my next move. Bringing up her working for my mother again before I have to go back to Seattle, would not be wise. I don't want to leave angry and I don't want to leave her angry and with the two of us, that would be the end result of that particular conversation. It will have to wait until she is back in Seattle. Maybe I could tie her to the bed in the playroom and torture her until she listens to reason. Obviously nothing painful since she is highly opposed to anything involving punishment, with the exception of a light spanking. I don't think it's that unfair of me to want her to let me take care of her. Fuck, it's not like I can't afford it.
Yes, Grey. Let her spend her time waiting for you to come home from work.
Sometimes, I hate this damn voice of reason, but I do like the idea of her waiting for me at Escala when I come home after a shitty day. Since I've never been in a relationship before, I would have to ask Elliot how much time is appropriate to wait until I bring up the idea of her moving in with me. I have never been one that like to give up any of my personal space, but I will gladly give her all the space in my life that she is willing to take.
"Baby, it's time to get up. We will be landing in an hour and dinner should be ready." I whisper into her ear, running my hand down the soft skin of her back, noticing a faded scar on the small of her back and making a mental note to ask her about it later.
"No."
"Okay, I will just let Taylor know to send Regina here with our dinner." I tell her and reach for my phone. Naturally, this gets her to get up in record time. I swear she spends half her day worrying about what other people think about her.
"I'm up. I'm up. Don't you dare touch that phone, Grey." She says, running her hands though her hair.
"Really? And what will you do? Punish me?" I would actually like to see her try. I get a hard on just thinking about her in black leather and a flogger in her hand.
"Believe me, baby, I know exactly what punishment will be suited for you. It's just a pity that I will be punishing myself in the process." She says and I like that she sometimes calls me baby. That nice feeling is however replaced with panic when I realize what punishment she is referring to.
"You know, there are laws in this country against cruel and unusual punishment, Anastasia. What you are referring to is definitely considered cruel and unusual." She laughs and starts to get dressed. Since I get dressed much faster than she does, I take a moment to look at her. Asking her to move in with me to be able to just be with her like this every day is on the tip of my tongue, so I get up and start to get dressed as well.
By the time we reach Georgia, the reality that I will be leaving her here, in the hands of another man, hits me and I struggle to pull myself together. I coped just fine on my own for twenty eight years. A couple of days is certainly not going to kill me.
Taylor and Sawyer goes to the hotel to do a sweep and I take the other SUV to drive Ana to her mother's house in order to get some alone time with her. Ana's mother, Carla, prepared a room for Sawyer to stay in. Another reason to make me grumpy. Just before we reach the house, Taylor calls.
"Sir, apologies for disturbing, but the new hotel manager asked to meet with you when you get to the hotel. Would you like me to wait until after your meeting before I turn in for the night since we won't have sufficient time for a background check right now?" Just what I need. Meeting someone who cares more about kissing my ass than doing their fucking job properly was not in my plans for tonight.
"It will be fine, Taylor. I'm sure there will be no danger. You can turn in for the evening. I will see you in the morning. Tell them I will check in with reception before going up to the penthouse. The new manager can meet me after I had a shower and change of clothes."
"Will do. Sawyer is on his way over to Mrs. Adam's house and should be there shortly. See you in the morning, Sir." He says and disconnects the call. He has worked for me long enough to not expect common courtesy with phone calls. I consider a phone call as a time to say what you called to say and get the fuck off the phone. Pleasantries I only keep for Ana.
"Problems?" Ana asks, picking up on my mood as normal.
"No. Just someone who wants to see me when I get to the hotel. As if it cannot wait until tomorrow morning." I tell her, taking her hand and bring it to my mouth for a kiss. She should be sleeping at the hotel, but I understand that she wants to spend this time with her mother and it is late. I will see her again in the morning.
When we get to her mother's house, they are already dressed for bed. After introductions, Carla makes coffee which we drink in the living room. The house is very homey. It reminds me of the comfort when I go to visit my grandparents. Everything is clean and in its place. Carla Adams is obviously a neat freak. The pictures on the wall looks stunning. There are a lot of pictures of Ana from the time she was born and to my surprise, a large A4 one of Ana and myself at her graduation. It is a small thing, but makes me feel like I belong.
After a longer visit than I planned on, I very reluctantly say my goodbyes and make me way to the hotel. I reminded Ana that I would pick her up at nine before I have to go back to Seattle at four in the afternoon. Sawyer arrived a while ago and walked around the house before going to the room Carla prepared for him. Leaving Ana in the hands of another man will take some getting used to, but I can't expect her to be my side twenty four seven and she needs to be protected.
When I reach the hotel, I inform the receptionist that I will be ready to meet with the Manager, Ms. Christianson, in twenty minutes. While I wait for the elevator to arrive, I send a quick text to Ana.
'At the hotel and missing you already.'
'Everyone's gone to bed. I miss you too.' Comes her quick reply.
'Come spend the night with me. Please.' I at least have to try one last time, even though she said no the previous three times.
By the time I reach the penthouse, Ana has still not replied to my text and I take that as a no. Must say, even though I expected her to say no, I still feel rejected. I don't like feeling rejected and jump in the shower immediately.
Fuck, I have serious issues. How someone like Ana could possibly put up with my shit is a mystery to me. She is literally everything I'm not. Good, kind, patient, loving, caring, considerate, to name but a few of her traits that I seem to lack. That melancholy feeling returns to me when I yet again realize that at some point in time, I will have to watch her walk away. How do one prepare for that? Just the thought is enough to give me a panic attack. I'm also not sure how I will react if she leaves because of what I did in my past. I don't ever want to hurt her, she's the kind of person that needs to smile all the time.
I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist and take another to dry my hair. It's been fifteen minutes already and I don't feel like meeting anyone right now. There is still enough time to decline the request for a meeting, so I walk into the living room to get my phone on the table next to the front door when I stop dead in my tracks.
I blink twice before I realize that my eyes are not playing tricks on me. For a second my mind draws a blank on what the fuck to do here. Ms. Christianson… I should have fucking known that this night will end in disaster. With Leila sitting in a sub position next to the front door, I thank my lucky stars that Ana is not in the next room. She will not take kindly to this shit and I will have to get her out of here fast. The last thing I need is more drama caused by Leila.
"What the fuck are you doing here, Leila?" Just like she's been taught, she does not lift her head to look at me.
"You seemed stressed when you walked into the lobby, Sir. I simply wanted to talk to you, but thought that I could perhaps assist to relieve some of that tension." Yes, if it wasn't already confirmed for me by John, I would have known now that she was fucking nuts.
"Leila, you broke into my apartment, went through my things, and invaded my privacy and now show up here… fucking naked. What makes you think that I would need you to do anything for me? I've had a team looking for you to see that you get the help you need, not to fuck you. Can you please get up and the fuck out of my room? I will meet with you tomorrow morning to discuss with you a treatment plan. You have been through enough and I would like to help, but that's all. I'm in a relationship for fuck sakes." I'm starting to lose my temper and the fact that she is just sitting there is just pissing me off more.
"I saw her. She can't give you what I can give you. She is not even into the lifestyle. She is no good for you. You need to be with someone like me. You were not ready back then, but since you are ready to be in a relationship now, we can try. I can make you smile and I will let you to do the things to me that you like and need. Things I sure she would not allow." She says, lifting her head for the first time. But she is wrong, it's me that is not good for Ana.
"Leila, get out. Now!" I finally lost my patience with her. The fact that she needs help far from my mind.
Instead of getting out, she looks up to me with a defiance that I've never seen in her eyes before. She was the perfect submissive until she let her feelings spoil the arrangement. I walk over to throw her out myself, but she pulls on the towel and it starts slip. I grab it just as the door flies open and in the doorway… Anastasia and Taylor. Both equally shocked. Did I mention that I had a feeling all day that this day was going to end in disaster? Well, this is a fucking disaster. I've never been in a situation like this and has no idea what the right thing to do is when things like this happen.
The devastating look in Ana's eyes has me frozen on the spot. I never knew that tears can flow in a fraction of a second down a person's cheeks. For the life of me I can't remember how to formulate and utter words or even get my feet to move towards her. I could have gone a lifetime without seeing that look on her face. No colour in her cheeks. Her chest moving so fast that I think she is hyperventilating. Worse thing of all, is the look of betrayal, devastation and heartbreak in her eyes. I would give away everything I own if I could turn back time and avoid having to see her like this. I will not survive seeing that look for a second time and staying with me, if that is even possible with this horrific scene playing out in front of me, will eventually result in exactly that look again.
Without a word, she turns around, followed by Taylor and I stay frozen until I hear the elevator door close. This is it. This moment in time will be recorded as the exact time that my life ended. This is the moment that I lost her and yet, I can't move. I waited for this moment. I knew it would come. I just didn't know it will come so soon. I thought I had more time. But that would be just postponing the inevitable. Eventually I would have hurt her and eventually I will see that look in her eyes again if I go after her now. I'm not an emotional man, but I feel like crying. How the fuck did this good day manage to end so horribly wrong?
And then my brain registers that it is all her fault. I was worried about her. I wanted to help her. But she ruined my life. She made Ana run away and because I never deserved her to start with, I let her go. She deserves to be happy forever. I'm incapable of giving her the whole white picket fenced house and two kids that every woman wants. It would be utterly selfish of me to keep her when I can't give her everything she wants.
"Get out! If you know what's good for you, you will get the fuck out of here. Now!" Leila gets up and starts to put the clothes on that was lying on the floor next to her. When she finally reach the door, I decide that I won't be able to spend the night here. I need to get the fuck out of the room where my life shattered to pieces. "Tell reception that I will be checking." I say and turn to go and get dressed.
Ana was on her way over to spend the night with me and that fucking woman ruined everything. This is my punishment for all the wrong things I did in my life. For all the companies I took over which was family owned for several generations and all the women I beat the crap out off. I fall to my knees with my bag in my hand. Sitting on the living room floor, it suddenly hits me that I will be leaving here without her. I will be leaving her and our relationship behind and I have no right to make this better knowing that I will just be postponing the inevitable. I will never, ever get that pained look out of my head. All the times that she looked so happy and peaceful has now been replaced by the devastating look on her face. I wish I could change my past, but I can't. Letting her walk away now, even if it is because of a misunderstanding, is better than getting more invested in this relationship just for it to end… for both of us. I should never have pursued her.
I'm pulled from my thoughts when Taylor gets on his knees in front of me. For the first time I notice the tears running down my face. When I look up, I can't decide what his dominating emotion is right now. It's somewhere in the middle between pissed and pity.
"I didn't do anything wrong… I… I promise… I… told her to leave… It is all a misunderstanding, but its better this way." I hardly recognise my own voice, but don't give a fuck right now.
"I know that you didn't do anything wrong with Leila, but it looked pretty damn bad from where we were standing. And excuse my forwardness, but you did do something wrong… you didn't go after her. She practically ran out of the hotel like it was on fire and didn't say a word while I waited for Sawyer to drive her back to her mother's, but Sawyer notified me that she broke down in the car. He had to pull over and get out to give her some privacy. She didn't speak at all and went straight to her bedroom when she got home, locking herself inside. Since Sawyer didn't know what to tell Mrs. Adams, he asked that she discuss the events of tonight with Ana in the morning." He fills me in, but that just makes me hate myself, and Leila, more.
"You should have gone after her." He says, his voice full of accusation.
"No. The best thing I can do for her is to get the fuck out of her life. I never, and I mean never, want to see that look on her face again and we both know that even if we manage to get through this, that it will still end up in heartbreak for her."
"And what about you?" he asks softly. This is new for us. We don't talk. I instruct and he does. But this is nice, someone to talk that that knows most of what goes on in my life.
"I don't care about me. I only care about her. It's better this way. The longer it would have lasted, the harder it would have been on her when it ended." I tell him, using all the strength left in me to get onto my feet.
"But what about you, Christian? Where do you go from here?" I think this is the first time he's called me Christian.
"I will go back to my old life, just without submissives to take my frustration out on. I couldn't do that to her. I will never be able to let another woman come into Escala and spoil the memories I now have of her there. It's all I have left. Now, please get me the out of here. I want to go home." I say and walk out.
On the way to the airport, Taylor informs Sawyer that we are on our way back to Seattle, as per my request, and informs him that he will continue as Ana's CPO until I tell him otherwise. I went over the entire thing in my head again, trying to see what I could have done differently, should have done differently, but the pain is unbearable. I will have to find a way to live with this pain since I vowed to myself to never hurt her ever again. The only way to ensure that it doesn't happen again, is to stay out of her life.
I take out my phone several times, each time expecting some form of communication from her and not at all surprised or disappointed to find nothing. Eventually I just give up. When we land in Seattle, I take out my phone and send her a text.
'I'm sorry for the pain I caused. I hope in time you would be able to think of me and smile at the memories we shared. Be safe.'
I sit with my finger on the send button until we reach Escala and before I get out of the car, I press send and switch off my phone. I don't want to look at it every ten minutes to see if she responded. She should still be asleep anyway. If only I could sleep. Surely you can't feel a broken heart in your sleep? This is definitely the worst time for me to discover that I do have one… now that it's broken.
I remember a song Mia once listened to when she got her heart broken. She listened to it every night for days. Drove all of us insane. I search for the song on my iPod on Mia's playlist and put it as loud as I can in an attempt to drive the thoughts away… but I picked the wrong song for that.
Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me
And even at the bottom of the sea
I could still hear inside my head
Tellin' me, touch me, feel me
And all the time you were tellin' me lies
So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
Well, you could try sleeping in my bed
Lonely, own me, nobody ever shut it down like you
You wore the crown
You made my body feel heaven bound
Why don't you hold me
Need me, I thought you told me
You'd never leave me
Looking in the sky I could see your face
And I know right where I fit in
Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love
With you
Right till the end… Oh
So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Anybody could've told you right from the start
It's 'bout to fall apart
So rather than hold onto a broken dream
I'll just hold on to love
And I could find a way to make it
Don't hold on too tight
I'll make it without you tonight
So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold onto the times we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
She did say that she will never leave me, unless I was unfaithful to her. Is it better to be remembered as a cheating boyfriend or as a depraved monster? Knowing I did nothing wrong, is not making this any easier. I put the song on repeat and turn on my side, pulling her pillow against my chest. Her smell is still on it and if I close my eyes, I can try to imagine that everything is still perfect… that we are fine. But I can't escape reality for long.
A/N: Please take a minute to let me know what you think.
Song: "Try sleeping with a broken heart" – Alicia Keys