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LadySharkey1 rocks my world by being the most amazing, kick-ass beta I could ever imagine.

13.

It took a few seconds for Bella to realize where she was when she woke up that morning; an unfamiliar light prickling against her eyes and a very alien heat settled against her back.

Then, as memories of the previous night started to flutter back into her mind, her mouth turned into a perfect 'o' shape while panic bubbled up inside her at an alarming rate.

What had she done?

In all her life, Bella had never been the one to make rash, spur of the moment decisions. After a hasty decision had claimed her mother's life, Bella had grown into one of the most cautious kids in her class, always weighing the dangers and benefits endlessly before she'd commit. Jumping into bed with a man she barely even knew was so out of character for her that, had she not felt his heat against her back, she would have had a hard time believing it was real.

And yet it had happened…not once but all throughout the night as their need for each other only seemed to grow every time they came together; his fingers played her like a precious guitar as she held him close with everything she had in her.

She couldn't explain it but there was something between them.

Something foreign…

Something intense…

Something dangerous…

Something she just couldn't let go of no matter how hard she tried to reason with herself.

Even in the cold light of day, she still blushed as she remembered how intense it had been between them. It was like nothing she had ever experienced in her life: raw, passionate, needy and insatiable. It was everything a girl could ever dream of feeling—with a man who couldn't be more wrong for her.

And that was just it.

This…thing between them shouldn't have been happening. It was the wrong time, the wrong place and definitely the wrong person. When she chose to work for the Cullens, what she'd signed up for was a summer of watching kids, maybe relaxing a bit on the beach, and prepping for her first year at an Ivy League university. Not betraying the trust her employer had placed in her by boning a member of the family; a member she had been thoroughly warned to stay away from.

As panic started to well up inside her, she squirmed slowly and surely away from the stifling heat until she had moved away from Edward's hold. Apart from a sleepy groan and a shift as he his arms searched and found a pillow to hug in place of her body, she managed to worm away without waking him up.

Good. Sighing, she crept through the room, picking up her scattered clothing before trying to fix her mess of tangled hair into a braid. Then, she snuck out of the room through the terrace doors, too afraid of being caught doing the walk of shame to head into the house to grab her usual breakfast of coffee and whatever was left in the fridge.

Slipping through the French doors, she rushed away from the house. Only in her dune did she relax as she realized she had managed to sneak away undetected; unseen by those who would judge her for where she had been that night and escaping the awkward 'morning after' that would undoubtedly have taken place if Edward had woken up before her.

And she needed to think anyway.

This thing she—they—had done was so out of character for her that she had a hard time figuring out what her plan should be. Did she want to pursue a relationship with him? Was that even an option? And what if she didn't? How would that affect her life under Carlisle and Esme's roof? Would they be able to keep things a secret whatever option they chose?

What would happen to her if they didn't?

Groaning, she threw herself backwards against the cool sand, wishing she had never met Edward Masen and his demonic charm, even though the tingling of desire in the pit of her stomach and the soreness of her muscles told her differently.

"There you are!" She barely had time to let out a shrill yep as Edward all but jumped into their spot, his hair in complete disarray and the similar state of his clothes revealing he'd left his room in quite a rush. "I was beginning to think I'd dreamed you up."

"I needed some time to think," she muttered, her eyes firmly on the sand between them.

"About what?" Completely disregarding her need for some space, he plopped down onto the sand next to her, the warmth radiating out from his body making her brain go all foggy when it needed to be sharp.

"About what?" she huffed, frustration leapfrogging over fear as she jumped up. "Did you forget what we did last night already?"

Grinning, he lay back against the sand, his hands behind his head. "Nope."

"So you don't think we need a plan or anything?" Bella fumed on. "Or at least a good old sit-down about where we see this going and what we're going to tell Carlisle and your sister?"

"Relax!" Judging from the annoyed sigh and the scrunched set of his nose, Edward hadn't given those things as much thought as Bella had. In fact, she was beginning to doubt if he'd thought about them at all!

"Relax?" she spat back. "Do you ever stop to think about the consequences of your actions? I mean…why did you invite me into your room last night? Do you like me at all or was I just convenient for an itch you needed to scratch?"

"I like you, okay?" Edward was quick to assure her, though Bella did notice his fences were all up again. The real Edward was gone and she didn't like that one bit. "You make me feel all kind of shit that's strange for me and, judging from last night, I'd say we really connect well together in more ways than one." He let out a frustrated sigh. "But I'm not the 'planning ahead' kind of guy so if you want to discuss China patterns and names for our future children, you're barking up the wrong fucking tree."

"I'm sorry, but I can't afford the luxury of flying by the seat of my pants." Pressing her lips together, Bella tried to keep as much of her inner turmoil out of her voice as she could. "I actually have a lot riding on this summer, and I'm not just talking about the fact that I'm going to have to find a bridge to sleep under if your sister kicks me out of the house for inappropriate behavior." Shaking her head, she finally looked at him, ill at ease with what she saw. Or more accurately: what she didn't see. "I intend to go into law, Edward, and I was hoping that if I make a good impression on Carlisle this summer, he might try to help me set up an internship at his firm or another. I don't have the luxury of a lot of money in the bank to fall back on. I need this opportunity."

For the first time, she saw a little crack in the concrete wall he had hidden behind as his eyes searched and found hers again. "I wish I could offer you more stability, Bella, but…that's not what my life is about at this point." Pressing his lips into a hard line, he let out a deep breath. "I do like you, though, and I think that if you give me some time…" His voice trailed off. "I want to be whatever you need me to be. I want to be with you but right now…I can't promise you anything, but I wish I could."

She nodded, biting her lip. Most of what he was saying had been exactly what she was afraid of. As foreign as the life of an international rock star may have been to her, she did know that it didn't exactly offer a lot of stability or allow for many promises made to those around him. She knew that…but she also understood that even the thought of what his life entailed made her extremely nervous.

"Please." She was almost shocked to hear his voice again, piercing through the clouds of thought drifting around her mind. "I want to keep seeing you. It will be our little secret for as long as you need it to be. Just…give me a little bit more of your patience?"

She nodded, tasting her own blood as her teeth pierced the skin of her bottom lip. Deep down she was wondering how big of a mistake she was making but, at the same time, she knew she couldn't have come to a different decision. As rational as her objections to the man were, the irrational need for him overrode all those arguments.

And as he kissed her with the sheer desperation of a man who had almost lost the thing most dear to him, rationality flew right out of the window.

Thoughts?