Author's Note: Apologies of the profuse and profound variety are in order. I've been buried, folks. Buried under a mountainous pile of Life. Have any of you ever adopted a puppy? Well if not, let me tell you...beyond the sweetness, the sloppy kisses, and the cute factor, is the You-Will-Never-Sleep-Or-Rest-Easy-Again factor. It's like a baby, except babies have diapers to catch their pee so you don't have to live your life constantly bent over with a sponge in your hand mopping up puddles.
The upshot is I have an adorable new Cavachon puppy named Oliver Queen (yes, I'm an Arrow fan), and you all FINALLY have a new chapter to read! I see that as a win-win. I know, it doesn't make up for my absence, but please forgive me! I love you all. :)
JESSIE:
Life is good. I know how cheesy that sounds, but it's true. Dean and I have officially been back together for a month, and things couldn't be going better on that front. Jamie is seeing some new mystery man that he won't tell any of us about. Regardless, he's got little hearts in his eyes whenever I bump into him in the apartment these days. I could care less who he is. If Jamie's happy, I'm happy for him. Then there's Kelsey, of course. She and Paul have been on again for a while. I never know what's going through her mind with that relationship, but she seems to be enjoying his company more so than usual.
So you see, life really is good. My parents are bringing Jared out to visit in a week. He's FaceTimed with me four times in the past ten days just to make sure that Dean and I are still taking him to Pacific Park on the pier in Santa Monica. Truth be told, I'm so happy that my family will be coming out here under better circumstances this go-round. Now that everything with Dean has been worked out, none of us are at odds, and there's finally no secrets between us, I feel like I can breathe easy.
"Ms. Maddox? We're waiting."
My professor's voice jolts me out of my thoughts and I blink down at my text, then up at the projector screen. He obviously asked me a question but I can't for the life of me figure out what it was.
"Three signs of antisocial personality disorder," a voice whispers behind me.
"Ah, um, right. So, one would be a lack of remorse for hurting other people. Another is being overly charming in order to manipulate those around them. And, uh, a propensity towards abusive relationships."
I hold my breath, meeting the narrowed gaze of my professor who is currently peering at me over the rim of his glasses. I hope that was really the question he asked. I also hope that the answers I pulled out of my ass are correct. I always mix up the antisocial and borderline characteristics.
"Thank you Ms. Maddox, for your correct, albeit delayed, response. Now, let's see. Mr. Johansen, how about narcissistic personality disorder?"
I release the breath I'd been holding when he moves on to his next victim. Remembering my savior from the next row, I turn my head slightly and whisper my thanks. It's too dark for me to see who it was, but I'm grateful regardless.
When class finally ends, I gather my things and turn just in time to see someone racing up the stairs to the back exit. The hairs at the back of my neck prickle with recognition but I shake it off. A tall, blonde guy in California isn't exactly atypical, but the lights are still low so I'm unable to decide if I really know him or not. Everyone else begins to file out behind him and as quickly as that, I forget about the student who I'm pretty sure saved me earlier.
I spend the better part of my afternoon cooped up in the library, studying for my last midterm before break. I don't realize until the sun starts dipping toward the horizon that I missed dinner with Kelsey and Jamie. Digging in my bag, I find my phone and see eight missed calls and six texts. Most are from Jamie telling me, in various rude ways, to pick up my phone and call him back. One is from Dean asking where I am and if I'm okay. Confused, I pack up my books and head to the bus stop. It's not like I've been gone that long, just a few hours. They knew I was planning to study after class. I just don't understand the urgency.
On my way home I text Dean that I'm fine, and tell Jamie that I'm heading back and not to get his panties in a twist. By the time my phone starts buzzing with replies I'm already walking up the path to the apartment. When I get to our floor, Jamie is in the hall pacing. I roll my eyes at his overprotectiveness.
"Chill dad, I'm right here."
He twists around and looks terrified and relieved at the same time. "Jesus, you really picked the worst time to pull a disappearing act." He wraps his arms around me and I stand there, arms at my sides, completely baffled.
"What are you talking about?" I question, disturbed by the level of his concern. "What's going on?"
"Come inside." He steers me into the apartment and I drop my bag just inside the door. Dean is sitting on the couch, head in his hands while his fingers tug at the strands of his hair. Kelsey's hip rests on the top of the couch while she taps furiously on the screen of her phone. Both of them look up at the sound of my books hitting the floor.
"Thank God," Dean rasps and shoves off the couch. He's in front of me in three strides, enfolding me in his arms. I tentatively raise my hand to his back because he just seems to need the connection. I'm starting to wonder if there was some kind of terrorist attack or natural disaster that I've been completely oblivious to while I was in the library. I'd been so zoned out, I guess it's possible that I hadn't noticed anything out of the norm.
Something strikes me and I freeze. Stepping back as far as Dean will allow, I find Jamie leaning against the kitchen counter across the room. "Is everything okay with Mom and Dad? Jared? It's not Papa, is it? Tell me what's going on, Jamie."
"They're fine. The family is safe." Safe. He used the word safe. Why safe? What the hell happened in the last four hours?
Kelsey is the next one to speak, and of course it's at her usual rapid pace. "Jess, I've been driving around campus for hours looking for you. We've been so worried. I went to your class but it let out early today and everyone had left by the time I got there, so I went to the cafeteria, the coffee shop, the hospital, I even went to the gym. Oh shit! Landon and Christina are still out looking for you. I have to call and tell them you're here." She hops off the couch and resumes tapping on her phone while I look between Dean and my brother, bewildered.
"Will one of you please, please, tell me what the hell is going on?!" I finally lose it, pleading as I clutch at the shoulders of Dean's sweatshirt.
"Okay baby, sit down. I'll explain but you need to stay calm." Dean leads me to the couch and pulls me down next to him. He and Jamie exchange a loaded glance. My heart rate speeds up. This isn't good.
"Actually Jay, you're probably able to give her more details than I can."
Worry lines are etched across Jamie's forehead as he takes a seat on the coffee table across from me, hands clutching and releasing in front of him.
"I have a friend back home at State. He doesn't know everything that happened with you…back then, but he knows enough that he's kept an eye on Will for me."
Frozen. I am frozen. My body shudders violently at the mention of his name. Dean's arm comes around me, but I'm immune to his warmth. The chills have reached deep into my veins where no surface heat can touch.
"Go on," I urge, my voice barely a whisper.
"He came back from break with a chip on his shoulder. No one knew why, but it was likely due to his run in with us on New Years. Apparently he really did get his shit together, turned over a new leaf, or at least made it look that way. So when he showed up angry, withdrawn, drinking, it raised some red flags with my friend. He filled me in and I've been keeping in touch the past couple months to make sure the idiot didn't do anything stupid."
"So what happened?" I croak from my overly dry throat.
"He did something stupid." Jamie looks away and I try to empty my head of the thoughts racing around inside.
"Tell me," I demand. Dean and Jamie exchange another look filled with silent communication and I lose it. "Enough! Just tell me what the piece of shit did! I have a right to know!"
"You're right Jess, you do." Dean cradles my face in his hands and tries to soothe me. He nods at Jamie to continue.
"There was a party at his frat. Some freshman girl…she was hanging around him the whole night. Tons of people saw them. They disappeared together, people assumed…things. The next morning the girl was found outside, unconscious."
It feels like all the blood drains from my body. I'm so cold; the kind of cold that settles deep into your bones and never truly goes away.
"She was beaten pretty badly. A guy and a girl found her and called an ambulance. The rumor going around is that she changed her mind about hooking up and Will wouldn't take no for an answer. A couple guys were outside smoking and overheard her telling him she didn't want things to go that far. They figured he'd just go inside and ice it for the night so they didn't pay much attention, just went back to the party."
"Is she okay?" My own voice surprises me. I didn't realize I was speaking until the words were out.
Dean grips my hand in his and his other arm, now around my waist, tightens. Jamie looks reluctant to continue but something in my eyes must show that I'm not going to stop asking until I know.
"Her roommate is friends with my contact's girlfriend. The girl is in a medically-induced coma. I guess she has some kind of brain swelling. It's not good, Jess. He messed her up real bad…"
He trails off and I know there's more to the story. I'm trying to process what he's told me so far. Will attacked another girl, who knows if she was raped? But he beat her to the point of brain injury. The guilt creeps in like slick fingers of fog, infiltrating every crevice of my mind. If I'd reported him, done something about what he tried to do to me all those years ago, would this have happened? Would this poor girl have fallen victim to him? Is this all my fault?
"Don't."
I blink up at Dean who seems to have a direct line to my thoughts. Saying nothing, I walk to the window, needing to step away from the probing eyes all around me.
"Jessie, I mean it. Don't go there. Nothing you did or didn't do caused this. He did this. Not you."
Jamming the heals of my hands into my eyes, I try to tune everything out. The only thing I can focus on is a faceless girl, three thousand miles away, lying in a hospital bed potentially fighting for her life. And I could've stopped it.
Hands grip my shoulders and I'm shaken until I drop my hands and open my eyes. "Stop it. This is not what you need to be worrying about right now," Kelsey orders with uncharacteristic seriousness. I swallow hard and fight against the stinging sensation in my eyes.
Then it hits me. What Jamie wasn't telling me. What Kelsey thinks I do need to be worrying about right now. The reason they were so frantic when they couldn't locate me today. The relief on their faces when I arrived home, safe.
Turning to face Dean and Jamie, I ask the question that I don't really want to hear the answer to. "Where is Will now?"
Silence, of the most deafening variety, fills the room. It's Jamie once again who meets my eyes and tells me what I somehow already know.
"He's missing."