A/N: Thank you for the reviews on the previous chapter.

Even though I should be studying, I couldn't leave the story right now. Hope you enjoy.

Christian POV:

This song is not helping at all so I take off the repeat and let the rest of Mia's songs play. Every song making me feel worse. Every song reminding me of what I have lost tonight… of what I let go of tonight. Hours after the sun came up, I was still awake and still in bed. Since I'm supposed to be unavailable for the day, I consider leaving my phone off and staying in bed, but I need to see if Ana sent a reply. When I see the text, I take a minute to work up the courage to open it.

'The pain you caused made all those memories fade away. You broke my heart. You broke me.'

I continue to stare at my phone. I should not have opened it. A clean break. I should have just let her go, but no, I just had to send that message and now I have this one. Why didn't I just leave her alone? I shouldn't have pursued a relationship with a woman when I had nothing but pain to offer her. I wonder why people fall in love if this is what it feels like when things come to an end. One thing is certain, I will never open myself to anyone else again. I can happily go a lifetime without feeling like this again.

Telling Taylor to just leave me the fuck alone, I go down to the gym and get on the treadmill. After an hour I still don't feel any better and the fact that I got no sleep is not helping to improve my mood. I get off the treadmill and put on the boxing gloves, thinking that beating the punching bag will get me to get rid of the anger and pain.

"You can be glad that thing can't hit back." I hear Flynn's voice and curse Taylor in my mind.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you. Just in time I see. So, how are you doing on this lovely day?" He is practically begging me to fucking punch him in the face, but instead I imagine his face right next to Leila's on the punching bag.

"Fine. Now you can leave."

"Taylor would not have asked me to stop by if you were fine and clearly, you are not fine. Want to tell me what happened?" The sooner I tell him, the sooner he can leave me the fuck alone.

"She left me." I answer bluntly.

"I see." I'm sure he doesn't.

"I made her leave and then I let her leave." I correct my earlier statement but don't make any sense.

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Cut the fucking crap, John. I'm not in the mood for your 'feeling word game' today." When he continues to stare at me, clearly waiting for an answer, I give up, punching the bag with every word. "Angry. Pissed. Sad. Angry. Lonely. Tired. Angry. Heartbroken. Angry." I say, finally stopping, defeated and yes, angry.

"That's a lot of anger, Christian." Is his only response. I could have sworn I paid him to help me.

"Well, that's because I'm angry… no not angry… mad. Livid. Irate. What's the worst form of anger?" I ask, but he ignores my monologue and lets me figure it out myself. "Furious. I'm fucking furious, John. I wanted to find her to fucking help her and then she ruins my life. Well, I'm done. She won't get any help from me ever again. Nothing. I won't even piss on her if she's on fire. She will feel the wrath of Christian Grey." I go off and John looks at me like I'm insane. In all honesty, I probably am.

"I get the feeling we are not talking about Ana. I hope you are not talking about Ana." He says and it's my turn to stare at him.

"Why the fuck would I be mad at Ana? She could never do anything to make me this mad." Well, that's not true. I wanted to kill her the night she slapped me. Even that is now a treasured memory, but I file it for later and focus on the conversation again. "No John, I'm not talking about Ana."

"I'm really confused here. What exactly did you do to make her leave? And please, feel free to start at the very beginning."

I give up and sit on the floor, telling him in detail what happened and how the expression on her face is haunting me. I end by giving him my phone to read the text she sent. After a long, too long, moment of silence, he sits down in front of me.

"This is a real mess and you didn't handle it well at all. I get where you were coming from, but you definitely should have gone after her. Knowing you, I get your reasoning, but as I told you before, several times I might add, just because you think something is the right thing to do, doesn't mean it is the right thing to do. In fact, it rarely is. This is your first relationship and mistakes was to be expected, from both of you, but this is one hell of a mistake to make. She is under the impression that you cheated on her, Christian."

"But I didn't." I'm getting worked up again.

"Yes, but she doesn't know that."

"I would rather have her think of me as a cheating boyfriend than telling her the truth about me and seeing that face again." And that is the truth.

"I see. From what you told me about her and her constant worry about your so called needs, needs she couldn't fulfil for you, you would rather let her think that she was inadequate? That she is lacking something that another woman could give you? That she was not enough for you after all?" Oh shit. I can literally feel the blood drain from my face. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you thought this through, Christian. I'm yet to meet her, but from what I heard about her from you and your mother, Ana will not think of you as a cheating boyfriend. Her main thoughts will revolve around what she did wrong. What she couldn't give you. That she failed you as a girlfriend." Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! I jump up and start to pace.

"How could I be so fucking stupid? After all the times that I told her that I only want her, that I don't need that and that she is enough, I made her believe the opposite. What the fuck have I done? More importantly, how do I fix this John?" I ask him, desperate and clueless.

"You know, for such a clever man, you can surely do stupid things some times. The way I see it, you have one of two choices. You can either continue with your original plan to stay out of her life. Let her continue on her own, thinking that you cheated on her. Since I know you so well, and it's clear how you feel about Anastasia, I can tell you that you will be heartbroken for a really long time. But time heals all wounds, Christian. It will hurt for a long time, then eventually, you will wake up one day and discover that you had a good day yesterday. The one good day will turn into two and so on, until you look back and think of Ana without feeling the intense pain you feel right now. Some say it feels like a book they loved to read and read long ago. Since I married my high school sweetheart, I can't speak from experience, but I can imagine what it would be like for me to lose my wife. Ana, well, she will go on. Obviously, since you were her first in more ways than one, she will hurt just a long, or even longer than you will. A woman never forget her first. Whether she will think of you and hate you or think of you and feel pain… well, I don't know. That all depends on the strength of the love she felt for you and how much your betrayal…" just hearing that word makes me glare at him, "apologies, perceived betrayal, hurt her. From what you've told me, she is a remarkable woman and from what your mother told me, the two of you looked very happy together. It's a pity that it had to end with so much pain for both of you."

"Just quit trying to make me feel worse and give me the other damn option since the first one wasn't really an option at all."

"Fight for her and for what you had. Show her you care and for heaven sakes, tell the woman the damn truth. Honestly, I don't know what the hell you were thinking. Actually, I don't think you were even thinking at all. That is the absolute worst reason to end a relationship and I've heard pretty stupid reasons in my line of work. Only you would end a relationship and cause pain in order to prevent heartache. I give you exhibit A." He point to me with both hands, "And exhibit B," he says, pointing to the phone and referring to Ana's text. "You want to prevent hurting her by hurting her. How did you come up with such a stupid plan in such a small amount of time?" I should ask him for his qualifications. He sounds like an angry parent and not my qualified therapist right now. Actually, he sounds like my mother.

"As I said, I didn't want to hurt her again. You didn't see the look in her eyes, John. I didn't want to hurt her, but I thought that… well, since the damage was already done and since I know that I will eventually hurt her, that maybe… it was supposed to end the way it did. Obviously, I didn't think it through."

"Good, by the look of that text, it seems Christian Grey can fail at something. Evens out the playing field for her next boyfriend a bit. I can't imagine that it would be easy to date the ex-girlfriend of Christian Grey. That bar is set pretty damn high. This makes it a bit easier." He says and only John will have the guts to say shit like that to me, especially today.

"John, if you're trying to piss me off, you are doing a stellar job. Now, do you mind leaving me alone, I have a call to make?"

When the door closes, I pick up my phone again and dial her number before I lose my nerve. I have to fix this and John didn't give me anything helpful. There should be a guide for men in my situation.

"Ana?" I say when the call goes through, but there is just silence on the other end. "Baby, are you okay?" As the words leave my mouth, I hit myself on the forehead with my free hand. Of course she is not okay you idiot. You broke her heart last night.

"Please… don't phone me again." Shit, she is crying and she sounds terrible. She must have been crying for hours to sound like that.

"Ana, I'm sorry. Just hear me out. One minute, that's all I ask. Please let me explain. I didn't..."

"No… I can't… I feel like I'm dying… I just want the pain to go away. I… I just want to forget you. I want to forget that I was right, that I was not enough for you. I gave my heart to you and you shattered it. Worse of all, she looks just like me, so I know that it must have been me who couldn't give you what you needed. Goodbye Christian."

"Take care of my heart, Ana." I say into the dead phone. Willing to finally admit to myself that I love the one woman I can no longer call mine. I agree with her… it does feel like I'm dying.

Ana POV:

"Oh no. Please no. No. Please tell me this is not happening? Please, it's bad enough, I really don't need this splattered across every news paper's society page." I beg for Maya over the phone to tell me that I'm seeing things. That I'm not looking at my iPad with a picture of me leaving Christian's hotel last night.

"Oh honey, I wish I could. We tried to stop it, but it's already everywhere."

"Has he seen it yet?" I ask, not sure why I even care about what he's reaction would be after what he did.

"I don't know. Christian is not taking anyone's calls. He didn't even answer when we asked Andrea or Ros to call and Taylor keeps telling us that he is at Escala and not to be disturbed."

"Excuse me, but did you just say he is at Escala?" Would he really be that big of a coward to go back without even trying to talk to me? Did he take her with him? And why does the thought that he left without even saying goodbye, make the pain that much worse?

"Yes, according to Andrea they landed some time during the night." She exhales and I can almost see the pained expression that normally follows that. "Ana, what happened? You were so happy. Everyone says how much nicer he is since he's met you."

"I wanted to surprise him at his hotel last night and walked in with Taylor while he was… with another woman." I repeat, making my heart break a little more… if that is even possible.

"We're they…?" Yes, it could have been worse, but mercifully I was spared that vision from haunting me.

"No… not yet. He was dressed in only a towel and she was kneeling before him, naked." She stays quiet and I take a moment to brush away the tears that just won't stop. "It hurts so much, Maya. I just want to make the pain go away. I want try to remember what I felt like yesterday… but I can't. The pain is consuming me. How do I make the pain go away?" I ask between sobs, wishing I was crawled up in my bed with Maya comforting me. I love my mom, but her heart has never been broken since she is normally the one doing the breaking. My father died, he didn't cheat on her and didn't leave her willingly.

"Ana, it will hurt for a long time, but it is that time that will heal the pain. I hate that you're hurting so far from home. If he wasn't my boss now, I would gladly give him a piece of my mind. Can you image what Kate will do to the man when she finds out? And don't ask me not to tell her, that article is everywhere and by everywhere, I mean everywhere. You should expect her to call soon." The thought of Christian on the receiving end of Kate anger is making me wish for her early return.

"I'm coming home, but you do not tell a sole. Please, I need privacy and I need to be left alone."

When I put down the phone after making flight arrangement for Luke and myself, I pick up the iPad to read the article again.

Friend or girlfriend… no longer a mystery!

If anyone was still wondering if the beautiful Anastasia Steele has managed to capture the heart of Christian Grey, you can stop.

I have been in this business a long time and I can tell you that a woman does not look like that if she is in love. By the looks of it, if they were a couple, they are definitely not a couple anymore.

Anastasia was seen leaving the hotel where Christian Grey was staying, late yesterday evening looking like she has seen a ghost. The pain on her face is definitely that of a woman with a broken heart.

Now, the question everyone's asking, what did Christian do to cause that painful expression? And is he back on the market?

Reports received said that Christian Grey was seen leaving Georgia shortly after Anastasia left the hotel in his private jet back to Seattle.

The staff at Grey Enterprises Holdings did not want to confirm or deny any of the reports and simply stated that things are not as they appear to be and that Christian and Anastasia are just friends.

Well, clearly that is not the case anymore, but we will definitely keep you posted.

I wonder what Christian will think when he sees this article. I wonder what he thinks when he think of me. Does he miss me? Is he hurting as much as I am? Does he even care how much pain he caused me? Why did he do it? Was I not enough for him? Is it because I wouldn't let him beat me? Maybe I should have given him the chance to explain earlier instead of beating myself up about it.

"Ana, can I please come in?" I hear my mother ask on the other side of the door.

"Yes," I respond, but I pick up my bags to start packing my stuff.

"Oh, are you leaving already? Maybe you should stay here for the week like you planned? I can take care of you." She tells me, sitting on the bed and looking very uncomfortable. It must be horrible if you are trying to comfort someone you can't empathize with and I can't blame her for never having her heart broken.

"Mom, I really just want to be alone. I don't want to talk. I just want to crawl onto my own bed and work through this on my own. I promise I will come and visit again soon… when things are better." I'm pretty sure I will not be fine anytime soon, but I will settle for feeling a little bit better than what I do right now.

"I love you, Ana. Remember that."

Seven hours later I walk into the lobby of my apartment and turn to face Luke. I'm exhausted. He's exhausted. All around, this trip turned out to be my worst idea ever. If I had known what going to Georgia would do to my life, I would have stayed home.

"I'm sorry that you are out of a job, Luke. I was just starting to like having you around." I tell him and he frowns.

"I'm not out of a job, Ms. Steele. I've been informed that I have to continue as your CPO until Mr. Grey notify me otherwise." Oh really.

"That won't be needed Luke. I took care of myself my entire life and I can go right back doing it myself again. Since I'm no longer dating Christian, I don't need him to pay for my protection." I argue, but can see that he is not budging.

"Ana, I won't lie to you. That article is everywhere. Before the end of the day, every reporter will either be camped outside Escala or outside this building. You may not want a CPO, but you need a CPO. And I need a job. You wouldn't let me lose my job because my boss broke your heart, would you?" Great, not only did he see the article, but he knows I'm way too soft to let him be without a job.

"You know what happened?" I ask, getting a slight glimpse of pity.

"I know what definitely did not happen. I know that this is all a combination of a misunderstanding, bad timing and failure to respond because quite frankly, Mr. Grey has never been in a situation like that. I don't think any man has, but he didn't cheat on you, Ms. Steele. I know it must have looked bad, but I can assure you that he did not cheat on you." He tells me, pointing down the hall for me to go to my apartment.

"He must pay you well to earn such loyalty." I know it's a snide comment, but fuck, he wasn't there. I know what I saw and what I saw cannot be explained away as a misunderstanding.

When I get to my apartment, Maya is already there waiting with popcorn, a stack of girly movies and a tub of Ben & Jerry ice cream. Ironically, she just had to pick vanilla. For how long with everything around me remind me of him?

After the first movie, 'Dear John', a movie about a boy and girl being kept apart by circumstance and then he finds out she married someone else, I'm crying my eyes out. I let my head fall onto Maya's lap who silently comforts me by rubbing my back. The pain in my chest actually feels like a physical pain, like someone stabbed me in the chest. I can see the writing on my tombstone. 'Here lies Ana. She died because of a broken heart.'

I'm startled when I hear a phone ring, followed by Luke's voice. He must be standing just outside of the door. Maybe he is talking to Christian. Curiosity makes me walk to the door and pressing my ear against it.

"We got back to Seattle about two hours ago, Sir. Ms. Steele is inside the apartment with Maya and from the sound of it, she is pretty upset… There is a couple camped outside, but no one can enter. Taylor sent Ryan over to ensure no one enters the building to get near Ms. Steele… I will, Sir… No, I don't think she needs anything… nothing I can get her anyway… I will let you know…" Then the call ends.

So, to sum things up at this moment. I've got the media camping outside of my apartment in hopes to get another shot of me with tears in my eyes. I have a CPO that is being paid to protect me by my lying, cheating ex-boyfriend. And then, to top it all off, he makes everyone think that he actually cares by checking to see if I'm okay. How the fuck can I be okay after what he did to me?

"Tomorrow evening we are going out. There is a bar at the market place that is having a karaoke night tomorrow and we are going. No excuses. The assholes down stairs will not get another bad shot of you if I can help it."

"Maya, would you mind if I just go to bed. I didn't get much sleep last night and I'm actually exhausted."

The instant that I shut and lock the door, I want to run back out. The last night I spent in here was with Christian on Sunday after that horrible conversation with Elena. We spent the evening just hanging out and then made love on this bed. I will miss that… the connection with him. The feeling of him inside me. Most of all, knowing that I won't see him again… well, not as someone I have a relationship with. I will see him from time to time and I know I can expect it to hurt like hell. Somewhere, deep inside me, I want to tell Grace that due to recent events I can't accept her job offer. With any luck, Elliot is an infatuation and they will be over eventually. But then again, I want to see him. I can't find a logical reason for why I want to see him, but I know that I want to.

When I picked up my phone this morning to hear his voice on the other side, I forgot for a moment what happened… then it hit me… hard.

I take my iPod and put in my earphones. I want to be alone with my pain. I know Maya. She will come in here to check on me and I just want to be alone, thus the reason for the locked door. I turn up the volume and listen to the first song… then the tears fall again.

Love hurts, love scars, love wounds
And mars, any heart
Not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts...ooh, ooh love hurts

I'm young, I know, but even so
I know a thing or two
And I learned from you
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when it's hot
Love hurts...ooh, ooh love hurts

Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
They're not foolin' me

I know it isn't true, I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie
Made to make you blue
Love hurts...ooh, ooh love hurts
ooh, ooh love hurts

Why does it have to hurt this much? I should have stayed away. I knew it wouldn't last and he told me several times that this will eventually end with him hurting me. Why didn't I listen to my head instead of my heart? He has a dark side and I knew that. A dark side I couldn't relate to and didn't understand because I didn't have all the information. I fell for the one man that couldn't offer me happiness… and I fell hard. Now, all I have are tears and the vision of him, practically naked with a naked woman kneeling at his feet. A naked woman who could be my double. So, if it wasn't my looks that made him do it, it was me. Where do I go from here?

With 'Love hurts' repeating at top volume in my head, over and over again, I can feel my chest starting to hurt because of my sobbing, but I can't stop crying. I don't want to stop crying. I want to cry until there is no tears left and until the pain goes away. Will the pain stop when the tears do?

When I feel the bed move, I tell Maya to please just leave me alone, but I'm not sure if it was loud enough with the music in my ear. When I don't feel her getting up, I open my eyes to stare at the curtains, wishing it will miraculously open to reveal the night sky filled with stars. I put the song a bit softer and take out one of the ear pieces, leaving it loud enough to hear it playing softly in my other ear.

"Do you ever wonder how it's possible to have so many tears falling out of such a small hole? Where do they even come from and can you actually dehydrate from it?" I ask, mostly to myself. Maya must think I'm starting to lose my mind. "I can't even begin to describe the pain I'm in. What hurts the most is that I wasn't enough for him and I don't want to be enough for someone else, so where does that leave me? I don't want to be alone forever and I don't want anyone else, but I don't want him anymore either. Not after what he did. He preferred to be with someone else when I only wanted to be with him. All the other shit I could deal with. All the changes to my life I could handle, but not that. I don't want to be second when I put him first. Am I a bad person because I wanted him to feel just a fraction for me what I feel for him? If he did, he wouldn't have done what he did. He would have been waiting for me. He would have made love to me instead of a meaningless encounter with someone else… if it even was meaningless. How could he do this to me? Why not just tell me it's over? Why not end it like a man instead of taking the easy way out?" I begin to sob again. So many questions, so little answers. "How am I ever going to get him out of my head when he has taken my heart?" I cry, heartbroken.

Then I put back the earphone and turn up the volume. I want to feel as happy as I did yesterday. I want him to make love to me and tell me that I'm all he needs. When I can imagine his scent perfectly, I open my eyes to get it out of my mind, but it doesn't go away. When I start to turn my head, I notice the broken door and remember that it was locked.

And then I see him, lying beside me, on my bed with tears of his own. Far enough not to touch me. I might be too heartbroken to feel his presence, but his touch is another story. I notice the dark circles under his eyes. I notice the redness of his eyes. I notice the effects of tears. I notice all these things, but frankly don't give a fuck about any of it. All I care about is my own pain… the pain he caused.

A/N: Please take a minute to let me know what you think.

Song: "Love Hurts"- Nazareth