Colin walked through the cold air, one thing on his mind: vengeance. Both is hair and his pride had been taken from him on the same day, and after learning that Luan had gave Lola the idea of cutting his hair off, he quickly walked to the school, where there was an open mic night sceduled.
"The nerve of that chica! What kind of person tells someone to cut their brothers hair off? I swear, it's not going to be pretty when I get my..."
"Colin? What are you doing?"
He turned to see Clyde standing in front of his house.
"Well, chico, I'm heading to the school. I have a..."personal matter" to deal with."
"Mind if I walk with you? I'm heading to the open mic night there. I heard that Luan is supposed to be doing one of her stand up routines... and why are you wearing a beanie?"
"-sigh- Clyde, walk with me. I gotta tell you something."
5 minutes later...
"Wow! That's crazy! And all because you got the gifts mixed up?"
"Yep. And it gets better. Wait, didn't you notice that Lincoln didn't have eyebrows?"
"Nope. He held his forehead the whole day. He said that he had a headache, but I guess not now."
"So anyway, Luan gave Lola the idea that she should shave my head. I'm going to the school to get my revenge."
"Uhh, Colin, i hope you dont mind me asking, but do you have a plan to do any of this?"
"Of course I do! I'm going to..."
He stopped. He had definetly decided on getting revenge, but now he realized he had no idea how to do it.
"Well gee, I guess I didn't think that far. Well, what should I do? And it has to be good, too."
"Well, maybe you should... actually, I have no idea."
"There has to be-"
Colin suddenly had the greatest idea ever. He turned his head to Clyde, who was still trying to think of a good idea.
"Clyde, I've got an idea! How about I-"
He whispered into his ear, giving him all the details of his revenge plot.
"And then, BOOM! Revenge is mine! Well, what do you think?"
"Hmmm... I like it, but..."
"But what?"
"Don't you think it's a little... over the top? Unnecessary?"
"What? No! That's ridiculous! It's an appropriate punishment for losing my locks, I think."
"Well, whatever you say, I guess. If you're going to do this, you might need this." He handed Colin something that Colin had never seen before.
"Uhh, what exactly IS this?"
"Wait, you've never seen a walkie talkie before?"
"Clyde, I had barely ever seen a TV before I was brought here. How do I use this?"
"-sigh- Well, to talk to me, you..."
Colin and Clyde entered the gym, where the open mic night was being held, just as Luan was in the middle of her set. After a quick glance and nod, they split up, Colin taking a seat up at the front. After a minute, Colin used his walkie talkie for the first time.
"This is Colin to Clyde, over. I'm in posi-"
"Colin, you have to use our code names!"
"What? Why?"
"Uhh, because those are the only things keeping our cover a secret!"
"A secret? Chico, we're the only ones paying atten-"
"Are you going to use them or not?"
"Ugh, fine. This is "Col-in One" to "You may now kiss McBride," over! You happy now?!"
"Very. What's the situation?"
"Well, it looks like Luan is almost done with her set. It's almost showtime!"
"And THAT'S why you never kiss a frog on the mouth! I'm Luan Loud, it's been a pleasure!" Luan said from the stage.
"Col-in One, it's time! Get up there!"
"Alright, this is Coli- "Col-in One," out!" He said as he stood up and walked up to the steps of the stage.
"Alright, time to give Luan a show she'll never-"
"Hey, Colin! What're you doing here?"
He turned to see Luan behind him, beaming from her performance.
"Oh, uh, Luan! I was just, uh, going up to do my routine!"
"Wait, you do comedy? That's awesome! I'll be rooting for ya, bro!"
"That's, uh, great! Say, Luan, do you know anything about my hair?" He asked her, silently hoping she'd come clean before he got his revenge.
"Your hair? Heh, no! I dont, uh, know anything! All I know is that, uh, your having a really bad hair day? Yeah, that one works!" She said walking away as Colin took the stage, knowing what had to be done.
"Hey, what's up, Royal Woods?" Colin asked the 50 or so people in the audience, including Clyde and Luan. "It's an honor to be here! I gotta say, it's really good to be performing in front of a real audience for the first time!" He had told jokes to his friends at the cornerstore, but he had never actually performed in front of an audience. That changed here.
"But, in all honesty, I would've been even better if I had my hair with me," he said, glancing at where his comedian sister sat. Her smile had changed into a confused look after he said the line.
"Yeah, my sister cut it off! Granted, I did accidentally gave her a spider for her birthday, but that's another story in itself. The thing is, I'm confused about how she did it. I mean, she's 8! She had to have some outside help, don't you think so?"
Glancing at Luans seat, he saw that her expression had changed once again, this time to more of a terror stricken face. Smirking, Colin kept going.
"I know one thing, though. If I was supposed to think THIS was funny, it certainly missed the mark, like most of the suspects humor. I mean SERIOUSLY, I'd rather light myself on fire then listen to most of her "humor!" I mean, how stupid can you be to not get the message at this point? I've heard a lot of stupid stuff in my life, but none of it compares to this person's pitiful attempts at "humor!"
The next 5 or 6 minutes was comprised of an overly shocked crowd listen to Colin roast an unnamed person, and as Colin ended his routine, he made sure the person knew who they were.
"To put it short, this chica thinks that shaving me and my brothers heads, trying to deny it, and all the time cracking jokes like they're eggs , is "funny." Well, let's face it: It's not funny. Like her."
Silence. Then a few awkward claps as Colin walked off stage to his seat, proud of his roasting of Luan.
"Showed her," he said to himself as he glanced over at her seat. But he noticed that the seat was now empty, Luan nowhere in sight.
"Oh, no." Colin said to himself as he stood up and ran out of the cafeteria.
"LUAN?! LUAN?! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Colin shouted as he searched in vain to find his sister. After searching the entire school, he stepped outside for a minute, his legs shaking and his hands clammy.
"What did I just do?" He thought to himself as he sat down to take a breath. "I just put down my own hermana in front of 50 people! What kind of person am-"
His thoughts were interrupted as he heard a heavy sob behind him. Standing up, he noticed Luans ponytail and white shirt. Nervously, he walked up and sat down beside her.
"Chica, I can-"
"GO AWAY!"
Colin was shocked. He had never heard Luan raise her voice, never less shout. Instead of walking away, however, he continued to sit beside her.
"Luan, you think it's gonna be that easy to get rid of me?"
"Colin, what do you not understand about the words, "go away?" GO AWAY."
"Luan, I'm sorry. I really am. Now please, just-"
Luan got up and walked to the curb, sitting down on the corner of the street.
"You can walk away from me all you want, chica, but that's not gonna make me leave you alone."
"Colin, I dont want to talk to you right now. Leave me-"
"Ok, ok, I'll leave you alone. But answer me one thing. Why did you tell Lola to do this?" He said as he took off his beanie, revealing his horrible haircut.
"Do you really think I expected her to do that?! I gave her a lot of ideas! I said she should put whipped cream in your shoes, or leave a bucket of water on top of the basement door! But THIS?! I gave that to her as a Joke option, Colin!"
"I guess that Lola doesn't understa-"
"And then you get up onstage and insult me! IN FRONT OF ABOUT 50 PEOPLE! That wasn't funny! That was degrading!"
"Look, Luan, I'm really sor-"
"Don't even try to defend yourself, Colin. It's not gonna work this time." With that, Luan began to walk home in the cold night, tripping over her feet because of the daze she was in.
"I do think you're funny, Luan."
She turned her head behind her.
"I'm sorry. Just, sorry," Colin said as he sat down, holding back tears.
Silence.
After what felt like an eternity, Colin felt someone sit down beside him.
"I should be the one apologizing, Colin," Luan said as she lowered her head. "I shouldn't have helped Lola. And I shouldn't have given her the idea to shave your head."
"Chica, don't apologize. I did something worse. I shouldn't have gotten revenge on you. And I shouldn't have been an ass on stage, either."
Long, awkward silence. Finally...
"Please don't hate me."
"Colin, why would I hate you?"
"Because I'm stupid. And an idiot. And close minded and inconsiderate and-"
"Colin, stop. You're none of those things. You're smart, And caring, and mostly considerate, and you're just a plain old good guy who makes mistakes once in a while. We all do."
"Luan, I can't apologize enough for this. I'm so, so, SO sorry," he said as he started to silently cry.
"No, Colin, I'm sorry. I should have stayed out of it. It wasn't my battle to fight."
More silence.
"Well, I guess you could say you got an eye for an eye on this deal," Luan chuckled as Colin looked up, his eyes still red from crying.
"Yeah, I guess that both of our egos are deflated, too."
"As deflated as Tom Bradys footballs, though?"
Colin chuckled at the outdated joke, answering, "Now, let's not get crazy here!"
They both chuckled at their jokes, finally looking into each other's eyes.
"Let's never do that again."
"Deal."
They both stood up, hugging when they finally were all the way up.
"Now, what do we do about Lola?"
"What do you mean, Bro?"
"Well, that little dÃablo did this, didn't she? She should pay for it!"
"True, true. But what can we do?"
At that moment, Clyde came rushing a out of the school, panting as he slowed down.
"Colin! Luan! Thank God I found you! I was getting worried about you guys! And you left your walkie talkie in there, Colin!"
Colin looked down at his walkie talkie, saying, "Uh, chico, did you JUST realize we were missing?"
"Yep! Wait, how long were you guys out here?"
Colin then had an idea, even better than the last time. He turned to face Clyde.
"Clyde, you wouldn't happen to have any hair dye at your house, would you?"
"Hair dye? I think that we have some left over from Halloween. But why would you need it?"
"Oh, no particular reason..." he said as he and Luan gave each other an evil grin.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!"
Colin and Luan sat on the couch, smiling at each other as Lola came barreling down the stairs, a towel covering her hair.
"MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!"
"Lola, what happened? Something wrong with your hair?" Colin asked, holding back a laugh.
"It's GREEN! MY HAIR IS GREEN! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WIN MY PAEGENTS LIKE THIS?! HOW?!"
"Gee, Lola, it looks like you're feeling a bit more eco friendly today," Luan said. "Your hair matches the recycling bin!"
"IT WAS YOU TWO! I KNOW IT WAS! OH, WHEN I TELL MOM-"
"Tell me what, honey?"
"They all turned to see Mrs Loud walk down the stairs, finally getting a look at Lolas new "hairstyle."
"Oh, um, your hair looks really, uh, nice, honey! When did you do that?"
"I didn't do it, Mom! It was-"
"Let me explain, Lola," Luan said as she stood up. "You see, it was late at night, and me and Colin had just gotten home from open mic night at the school. When I laid down to go to bed, I heard someone outside the door."
"Oh, was Lola sleepwalking again? She used to do that a lot when she was younger..."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED! THEY-"
"You were right, mom, it was Lola. She was sleepwalking again! And she had a can or something in her hand. I was gonna take it from her, but I remembered that you're not supposed to wake up a sleepwalker. So I didnt. II guess that can she had was green hair dye!"
"THAT! IS! NOT! TRUE! THEY DID IT, MOM! I CAN PROVE IT! IT WAS IN RTHE SHAMPOO!"
"Honey, settle down. Now, I don't deny you were sleepwalking, but to give you the benefit of the doubt, let's go up to the bathroom and see for ourselves."
"Yes, lets!" Lola said to Colin and Luan, who were now looking very, VERY concerned. "I'm sure the evidence of me sleepwalking won't be there, will it?"
5 minutes later...
"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!" Lola screeched as they looked at the bathroom.
"Well, there isn't any sign of "hair dye in the shampoo," Lola. And if that's not enough, there's a can of green hair dye right there on the sink!"
"BUT THAT WASN'T THERE THIS MORNING, I SWEAR!" IT WAS LUAN AND COLIN, MOM!"
"Lola, honey, the evidence is all right there. THERE'S no other explanation except you were-"
"I DIDN'T DO THIS! IT WAS THEM!"
"Now Lola, you stop that right now! It obvious that you did this to yourself, intentional or not. Now, if I hear you blame these two again-"
"IT WAS THEM! I SWEAR! I DON'T SLEEPWALK!"
"That's it! You're grounded for another month, and if you try to blame them again, I swear..."
This time, Lola didn't say anything. As Mrs Loud walked out the door, she turned and hissed at the two who framed her.
"I swear, I'll get even worse revenge than shaving your stupid head, Colin Gomez! And YOU, Luan! I thought you were a good person, but THIS?! You're going to be begging for mercy after I get you back for this!"
"Keep dreaming, chica!" Colin yelled as she stormed out of the bathroom. He turned to Luan, and in a low voice, whispered excitedly:
"It worked!"
"It sure did! But I'm confused. Who set up the crime scene?"
"It was me."
"AHHH!" THEY both screamed as Lucy came out of nowhere.
"Wait, Lucy?!" Colin said, regaining his posure. "It was you who helped us?"
"Yes. I this is my way of apologizing to both of you. For telling Colin to blame you. And besides, I never liked Lola treating you like that."
"Aww, thanks, Luce!" Luan said as she hugged her younger sister, who then went back to her room. Luan turned back to Colin.
"You know, that was pretty good, bro. And I gotta say, you're really funny when you aren't trying to put me down."
"Uh, thanks?" He said, not certain where the conversation was going.
"I think we should team up. Form a comedy duo."
"Hmmm... let me get back to you on that one, chica. Something tells me that it's gonna be a long couple of months..." he said as he glared at the twins bedroom.
Well, that was pretty exhausting. Sorry that I used a deflate gate joke, for all you football fans out there. And believe me, writing that Luan diss section was painful. I -figuratively- love Luan. More chapters will be coming in the next few days, because I'm lonely and have nothing better to do with my life. I plan on having well over 35 chapters by the time this is done. Thanks for reading, I guess.