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LadySharkey1 rocks my world by being the most amazing, kick-ass beta I could ever imagine.

15.

Over the next couple of weeks, Edward and Bella mastered the art of sneaking around.

Even though Bella still had her reservations, something inside her had been unlocked by his touch. And no matter how hard she tried to persuade that something inside her had to be rational and end whatever it was between them before things could grow out of hand and break her heart, it couldn't be stopped by simple reasoning alone.

She craved him…craved his touch, his words, and the look on his face when he touched her…kissed her…moved inside her.

As much as she tried to fool herself into thinking that she was in control of things, the train had already left the station and was cruising ahead at a dangerous pace.

Unstoppable.

Uncontrollable.

She hated herself for it. She was a smart girl, not some dimwit who spent her time mooning over rock stars and drawing little hearts around their names. Growing up, her idols had been people like Marie Curie or Amelia Earhart; women who hadn't backed down from a challenge, even if the whole world around them thought what they were doing was impossible or inappropriate. They had remained persistent and in turn gifted the world with some amazing feats.

Where the rest of the girls in her class had filled their rooms with posters of musicians or movie stars, Bella's had been filled with books and dreams of growing into a human rights lawyer who would bravely battle injustice all over the world.

Not a girl who would sneak down stairs at night for an illicit tryst with her bad boy lover.

And yet, there she was; her feet cold against the polished wood and her heart drumming in her throat as she crept, following the walls with her hand until she reached his door.

"Finally!" And there was his grin; the same smile that made caution and better judgment fly out the window as soon as she spotted it. He was lying back on the bed, his chest bare and almost mesmerizing in its perfection as a sheet hugged his waist so precariously low that it was impossible to come to a different conclusion than that he was naked underneath. "I was beginning to think my bed would remain a cold, sad and lonely place tonight." He pouted patting the empty spot next to him as Bella gingerly proceeded foward.

As soon as she was within range, he pounced, his hand grabbed hers and pulled her onto the bed before she had time to think or let out a surprised yelp. Edward's lips smothered all sounds of shock with a searing kiss while his hands were already underway ridding Bella of her clothes.

"I fucking missed you," he grunted against her lips, kicking the sheets away as his hands started to wander, familiarizing himself with her naked flesh after two days of absence from the house.

She chuckled, her eyes gliding down the treasure trove of his chest towards where he was hard and ready for her. "I can see that."

"Then don't keep me waiting, woman," he growled, pulling her on top of him, her legs parting just in time for his long, deft fingers to slide down her bottom and find her sex. "I can feel how much you want it…say it."

"Yes," she hissed, her knees trapping his hips between them as she arched her back, desperately riding his fingers. "I want you."

Growling, he flipped her over, her back hit the mattress just as he thrust into her, his movements hard and desperate…begging to possess her. "I only want you," he growled, nipping the skin at the base of her throat before furiously claiming her lips as he drove into her…time and time again until she saw stars. "Always…all day…all the time."

"You…have…me," she panted, relishing the intensity of their sex and the firm grip he had on her. It was like she was his anchor…the thing that tied him to the life he never knew he wanted. And God, how she wanted it with him.

"I can't-," he gasped, his movements intensified as he neared his release.

She kissed him before whispering, "Let go," her own climax coming on rapidly. "I want you to let go…Edward!"

And thus they came together, their bodies moved as if it was the sole purpose of their creation as their movements became uncontrolled. Bliss took over until they both collapsed—worn out and energized by what had just transpired.

"I missed this." Pulling her into his side, he kissed the top of her head as he threw the blanket around them.

Bella sighed, basking herself in his warmth as she curled into his side. "I missed you, too. Sorry, but I had to wait until Carlisle had hung up with whoever he was calling." That day had been one of the rare days in which Carlisle had actually made it home in time to see his kids before they went to bed. Unfortunately for them, that didn't exactly mean they got to spend time with him, as the man had had his phone stuck to his ear from the moment he'd walked into their house. And then, of course, with dinner turning into another cold war of barely veiled accusations flying around the table, Bella almost wished he'd stayed in the city. "So how were things with you?" she asked, changing the subject before things could get sour. "Did Aro like your new songs?"

Edward shrugged, the hand that had been playing with a lock of her hair fell onto the bed. His emotional withdrawal from her was swift but expected. "I guess."

"Don't do that." Sitting up again, she could feel her frustration well up, just like it had every time over the past couple of weeks when Edward had spent the day in Manhattan. As happy as he would be to take whatever physical fruits she offered him, emotionally there were times when he was still miles away. It would take hours or even days for him to thaw and act like a normal human being again—the Edward she knew instead of the Edward he wanted to make people believe he was. "Don't shut me out of whatever happens when you're in Manhattan. It makes me feel scared."

"You should be scared." He chuckled darkly. "If only you knew about the company I'm keeping there…"

Sitting up, she pulled the sheet away, hiding herself while she tried to locate her clothes. This wasn't the kind of conversation she wanted to have naked. "I might not know them but I know enough to come up with a couple of different scenarios about them," she snapped. "So please don't play me for a fool. Even though I might not have the kind of experience you have."

"Then what do you want to know?" he growled, shooting into his boxers as he got up. "How last night I was at a party at my guitarist's house, surrounded by girls wanting to get into my pants while around me everyone was fucked up on liquor or drugs? How a girl was getting fucked right next to me on the couch while another was snorting cocaine off her stomach? How I barely made it back here in time for curfew because part of me wanted desperately to join in…even if it sickened me? Is that the kind of world you want me to bring here…to this bed?"

"No," Bella whispered, traitor tears prickling in her eyes as she tried to fight them. She wanted to know what he did when he wasn't with her almost as much as she loathed to hear about it…as much as she couldn't bear to think about his lifestyle. "And did you…" Her throat was too constricted to finish her sentence.

"Shouldn't you trust that I didn't?" he spat back, opening the French doors as he lit a cigarette, his naked skin glowing in the moonlit sky.

Pressing her lips together, Bella tried to summon what strength she could find amidst her panic. "Have you ever given me a good enough reason to give you my trust?"

Exhaling, his body seemed to deflate against the doorframe. "Touché."

"So what's going on?" she asked, the cold chill of trepidation making her shiver. "Were you really at that…that place?"

He nodded. "James…he's the guitarist in my band. He owns this loft near the recording studio and…and I guess you could say that he can be very persistent when it comes to me joining in with his extracurricular activities." Shaking his head, he took a long drag from his cigarette before he went on. "Last night I had to come with him to work on some of the song we're recording right now and I just…" He sighed, rubbing the back of his head as he leaned against the door frame, looking out over the beach. "I couldn't pull myself away."

"But if there's drugs and all those…girls," Bella pressed, the thought of both stirring her fear. "Wouldn't it be better if you found some quieter place where you know you won't run into any trouble?"

"That shit will find me no matter where I go." He chuckled darkly, his face twisted in self-hate. "It's what happens when you're cursed, Bella. There's no good in trying to hide from it. Besides, James is my friend as well as in my band—even though at times I really fucking hate the guy. It's been good to catch up with him and the rest of the guys while we have some downtime. We need that for when we go back to performing our songs…we need that synergy to bring everything together."

Bella nodded, even though the whole process of recording and touring was about as far removed from what she knew as anything. Though she could see how it was important that a performer connected with his band in more ways than just the sound of their instrument, she'd done enough research on the members of Edward's band over the past couple of weeks to wish them miles away from him.

Hundreds of miles.

Thousands would have been even better.

They were all bad news; some of them—like James—made a career out of being a bad boy. Sure, the guy was a decent guitarist but what had really made his fame was that he regularly made headlines for getting arrested for fights, vandalism or possession of drugs. And his girlfriend, Victoria, who played drums wasn't much better. The only one who had managed to evade negative publicity so far was the bass player, Laurent LaFayette. But Bella figured that was mainly because he kept himself aloof from the 'twenty-first century toxic twins' as the pressed had dubbed James and Edward in reference to Aerosmith's front man and guitarist.

Edward, meanwhile, shrugged. "I didn't like it there, though. Not anymore." He exhaled, walking back towards the bed as he took her hand in his. "A year ago, that place was like my candy store. It had everything I wanted and then some. All easy…all up for grabs. Now…" He shrugged, the naked honesty finally back in his eyes as they found hers. "I think I've grown out of that stuff…even though I guess part of me will always be drawn to it."

Bella nodded, squeezing his hand as, for the first time since they started their conversation, she was able to breathe a little easier. "Prison has a habit of changing people."

"It wasn't prison that changed me." Edward chuckled, lifting her hand to his lips and pressing a tender kiss to her skin. "Last night, I was sitting in that loft, confused as all fuck about why I felt like a foreigner in my own country when suddenly it struck me: it's you."

"Me?" Bella bit her lip, trying not to squeal in triumph at his words, while another part of her was freaking out ferociously at the pressure this put on her shoulders.

Edward nodded. "With you, it's like that whole world doesn't exist and…for the first time in my whole fucking life, I'm kind of okay with that. I don't need that shit anymore…and it scares the hell out of me."

Swallowing hard, trying to push away the whirlwind of emotions—joyful, distressed, terrified—his words provoked, she tried to stay in command of herself. "Do you want to go back to who you were before?" She paused, swallowing again. "Do you miss it?"

"Sometimes, yes," he replied honestly, his fingers trembled as they remained folded around hers. "But do you want to know what I did last night?"

No. "Yes." She had to know. She had stayed awake all night wondering what he was doing; her mind came up with one bleak picture after another as she cursed herself for not trusting him more. She'd only fallen asleep when she'd heard the door slam shut behind him, a mere two minutes away from his state-ordained curfew. By that time she'd been too upset to join him.

Surprising Bella, Edward moved towards her, grabbing the worn and weathered guitar that stood perched against the wall next to the headboard. "This is what I did," he whispered, his voice hoarse as his fingers plucked at the snares, making sure the instrument was tuned before he began.

In song, his face was void of all the negativity, worry and fake 'badassness'; the purity of his music reflected in his eyes as he sang words of such beauty they brought tears to her eyes. Even more so because her name fell from his lips more than once; his words dedicated to her in the only way he could tell her how he really felt about her.

And those words were love.

Thoughts?