A/N: Thank you for the reviews on the previous chapter.

Hope you enjoy!

The the guest reviewer upset because I said there was no cheating, I hope you are still reading. I don't think that Ana thinking Christian cheated makes this a cheating story, but as I said, I hope you are still reading.

For the readers that don't understand why Ana would be upset with Christian over what Elena did to him... well, the Elena thing is not the worst thing Christian told Ana about himself... but that's just my opinion. All will be revealed in the next chapter...okay, most of it anyway.

Ana POV:

"Get out of my room and out of my life." I scream, jumping from the bed and wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"Please, can you just listen to me? I didn't do what you think I did. Please, Ana, give me a chance to explain. Don't give up on us, baby." He begs, but I can't listen to him. I know what I saw.

"You already gave up on us. You gave up on us when you let her into your room and when you didn't even try to stop me. You finished your business and jumped on your plane back to Seattle. What the fuck do you expect me to think? She was naked. You were naked." I scream, not caring who overhears me.

"Ana…" he begins, but I'm on a roll, anger giving me the strength to give him a piece of my mind.

"She looks like me. Did she let you beat her? Is that what it is about?" Then something hits me, "Do you know her? I mean, before yesterday." I ask and when he looks down, I feel nauseous again. "She's one of your previous subs, isn't she?" I ask and he looks up with eyes filled with guilt. I was so blind it's laughable. It was never going to work. He didn't break my heart, I let him break my heart.

"Let me…" he tries again, but I'm still not done trying to make sense of this new piece to the puzzle.

"You arranged with her to come over while I was supposed to be at my mother's house? You asked me to come over and when I didn't respond you called her? Did you pay for her flight to be at your beg and call? Was I just a new toy after all? Did I fool myself into believing that you actually cared about me? You asked me not to leave you, but I should never have gotten involved with you to start with."

"Can you please…?"

"I knew it wouldn't last. You told me that I would leave you if I knew everything. Did I believe you? No and that's because you never told me that I would leave you because you were secretly busy fucking and beating a woman that could be my sister. You knew that I would eventually find out. I was not enough for you after all, but that didn't really matter, did it? I mean fuck, you had it all. The innocent, naïve girl to spend time with and the kinking girl to fuck and beat whenever the mood strikes you. I am such a damn fool!" I finally say. How many unanswered questions can there possibly be as every time I find out that little bit more, it creates ten more questions in my mind?

"Are you even listening to yourself right now? I wouldn't do that to you and deep down Ana, you know that!" He says, but naturally I go to argue.

"You wouldn't do that? Your moral compass is screwed to start with, Christian. I wouldn't…"

"Will you please just shut up?" He screams and I shut up. Not because he told me to, but because I'm shocked by the tone in his voice. This is a Christian I've never seen before. Just one of his many personalities to deal with.

"I never cheated on you, Ana and I never will. I haven't seen Leila since we broke the arrangement. She gave the assistant manager a false name and got him to make an appoint to see me, pretending to be the new manager. I just got out of the shower and was on my way to get my phone on the table next to the door in order to phone reception and tell them that I don't want to see anyone and that Taylor will set something up for the next day. She was sitting there when I got into the room. I was on my way to throw her out when she tugged on the towel and I reached to grab it… and then you walked in. I swear to you Ana, I didn't initiate contact and I would never cheat on you. You have been the most important thing in my life since the day I met you." He sits down on the bed with his head in his hands. "I'm hurting too, Ana. Nothing I ever experienced in my life can even compare to this pain I feel. The look on your face… it haunts me. I can't sleep. I can't eat. All I want is you and I know you want me too. Please believe me." I want to. I want to go back to being happy, but that's not an option right now. I'm in too much pain to think or make a decision.

"Please don't do this. My heart wants to believe you, but my brain is refusing to believe your story. It just don't make sense and it is after all my heart that got me into this mess. I need time to think. Time to make sense of this." When he looks up at me, my heart breaks all over again. Can it be true? Was Luke right after all? Does everyone know the real story?

"I will go, but I will be back, Ana. I can't live with this pain and I don't live without you in my life. I refuse to accept that we are over because I was an idiot. I believe in us, baby, please believe in us too. I know I was wrong and made a stupid mistake. All I ask is for one chance to make this right." He says softly, looking me straight in the eye and I almost give in, but something keeps holding me back. When he gets up and walk to the door, I want to ask him to stay. "I will arrange to get this fixed." I nod and turn to sit on the bed, everything is just too much for my brain to try and cope with. "We are not over, Ana. In your heart you know it too. I will fight for you and I will wait for you… as long as it takes." And then he is gone and Maya walks in.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. I heard you're heart breaking cries and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. When I reached your room, everything went quiet. I knocked and knocked, but you didn't open. I ran down stairs to get Luke in the security room, who called Christian. We were still trying to get you to open the door when Christian arrived. After I told Christian what happened, he tried to get you to open the door. I thought… I thought… you did something to make the pain go away and accidently said it out loud and Christian kicked the door open. When we saw you lying there, he asked us to give you some privacy and went in by himself." Maya explains, but when she stops I turn to look at her. "I overheard the last part of the conversation and asked Luke and he confirmed the story. Apparently this woman has an obsession with Christian. Damn, she even changed her name to Ms. Christianson. That is seriously sick. I believe him, Ana. I really think he is innocent. He looks like hell, even worse than you."

"I don't know what to believe. I know what I saw. She looks like me, or since she was technically before me, I look like her. Is that why he wanted me? Because I remind him of her?" I fall onto the bed and close my eyes. "I just want to sleep."

Christian POV:

The couple of minutes I got to lie next to Ana was enough to give me hope. That is, until she started to speak, probably thinking it was Maya.

"I can't even begin to describe the pain I'm in. What hurts the most is that I wasn't enough for him and I don't want to be enough for someone else, so where does that leave me? I don't want to be alone forever and I don't want anyone else, but I don't want him anymore either. Not now. He preferred to be with someone else when I only wanted to be with him. All the other shit I could deal with. All the changes to my life I could handle, but not that. I don't want to be second when I put him first."

I almost died when she said that she doesn't want me anymore. In my heart I know it's not true. She will not be in so much pain if she didn't care for me anymore. One thing I've learned in the last twenty four hours, is that feelings can't simply be switched off. She also said that she does not want anyone else. At least that's something.

I hate seeing her in such pain, but she wouldn't listen to me. I'm not sure how to get through to her, but I will not give up. If it takes me forever to convince her that I care only about her, then I will do it. I've got nothing left to lose. I'm pulled from my thoughts by my phone ringing for the fifth time next to the now empty bottle of wine. When I see that it is Elliot, I already prepare for a fight after that fucking article this morning. Sure enough, he starts as soon as the phone reach my ear.

"What the fuck did you do? Ana is perfect for you. She makes you easier to live with. And then I have to find out in the fucking media, along with the rest of the world, that you broke her heart. How could you do that? Kate is out for blood, Bro. Mom was crying, fucking crying, because she couldn't get hold of you and knew that this would be hard for you too. I cannot believe…" He starts and I already know where this is going.

"Let me guess. Ana spoke to Maya, who spoke to Kate, who is pissed and taking it out on you because I'm your brother?" I ask and he finally shuts up. "So, just to clear this up for you, because I'm not in the mood for this bullshit, what Ana told Maya and Maya told Kate is not what happened… it's what Ana saw. In this instance, there is a big fucking difference. I fucked up. I should have gone after her. I should have stayed in Georgia to work it out with her. I know all these things and don't need to hear it again."

"Then what the hell happened? I was told that Ana caught you with another woman. You wearing only a towel and the woman naked in front of you." Give me strength…

"That is correct." I say shortly, thinking of how to tell him everything without telling him everything.

"Okay, I'm confused. Did you cheat on Ana or not?" He ask and I can see how it can be confusing.

"I didn't." I give him the short version without the background information and then wait for him to respond.

"That is seriously fucked up. Sorry bro, but if I was a chick, I wouldn't believe you either. Things like that don't just happen, especially with you and all your security. How did she get past Taylor and what are you going to do?"

"Since I thought I was meeting with the hotel manager, I told Taylor not to worry and call it a night. As for what I'm going to do, I don't know, but I'm not giving up. I will get her back and I will keep her this time. I'm never giving up on us. I can't. I have nothing left without her. So, exactly how angry is Kate?" Not that I really care, I just don't want to discuss my relationship, or lack therefore, with him anymore.

"I hope for your sake that she has calmed down by the time we get back next week. She is on the war path and will kill you with a smile and without regret if she didn't hate the thought of wearing orange for the rest of her life. Apparently it's not her colour. Something about how pink was made for blonds and orange were made for brunettes. Honestly, I couldn't care less about that stuff, but she was very serious, made me laugh and that in turn pissed her off and caused one hell of a fight. Make-up sex is really the best and was well worth it, gets rid of all that tension of the fight." He goes on and for a minute I forget my misery and listen to the shit that comes out of his mouth. "Did you know that Kate has a pair of shoes to go with every top in her closet and every dress? Can you imagine how many pairs of shoes that is?"

"No, I can't," I say, surprised that I didn't tell him to shut up yet.

"Well, I will never understand women. They care about the little things and pay no attention to the big things. I don't think their brains were wired properly. Maybe most woman are right side dominant. I read that people who are more dominant on the right side of their brain is like that." When he waits for a response, I really only have one thing to say.

"Thank you, Elliot. You really are a great brother." I think it is the first time ever I said that to him.

"I just wanted to make you feel better. I don't like the idea of having the old Christian back. You have to get back your girl… before someone else steals her from you."

"Elliot, don't even make jokes like that." I will kill anyone who touches what is mine and whether she is angry at me or not, she is mine.

"You don't have to say anything, but I know you love her. And really, what's not to love?" He should have stopped after the first part.

"Elliot, I have to go. Please give my regards to Kate." I finish and end the call.

Ana POV:

Between Christian's constant attempts to make contact, Luke's hovering, Maya's attempts to get me to talk to Christian and Jackson's concern, I'm on the verge of insanity. After the first text on Wednesday morning I've already forgiven him. I know he didn't cheat, but for some reason, I can't get myself to go back to him yet. We are just too different. Why I've been staring at this e-mail for the last fifteen minutes, I don't know, but I just can't seem to close it.

From: Christian Grey

To: Anastasia Steele

Subject: The incident on Monday evening…

…was an unfortunate set of events, but I promise you that there was no cheating involved. Everything happened exactly as I explained it to you on Tuesday night.

Anastasia, why would I cheat on you? You make me feel alive for the first time in twenty eight years. You are all I want and all I need. ALL I want and ALL I need.

If I'm guilty of anything, and I admit it was wrong, it was that I did not go after you to explain or the fact that I came back to Seattle without trying to sort out the misunderstanding. Please forgive me for what I did wrong and let's talk about this. I need to see you. I need to hold you. And baby, you need it too. Listen to your heart.

Please can you give me five minutes?

PS: I looked up something on forgiveness for you.

"As a psychological concept and virtue, the benefits of forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, the social sciences and medicine. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives, including forgiving themselves, in terms of the person forgiven or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In most contexts, forgiveness is granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is incommunicado or dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment, an apology, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe himself able to forgive."

Only yours,

Christian Grey,

CEO & remorseful boyfriend Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

I go to the kitchen and get a bottle of wine and start crying when I realize that it's one of the bottles Christian bought. With a box of tissues, a glass, a tub of ice cream and Christian's bottle of wine, I make my way back to the living room, turning my iPod on the way. The name certainly fits since I've been basically living in here for the last three days.

I sit on the couch and cry my eyes out while I listen to the songs on my 'Heartbreaker' playlist. Damn, can I pick depressing songs? But… they are good songs to cry to. After a way too short time, I go to fetch another bottle of wine. Christian obviously thought that he would be spending a lot of time here since he bought a case of his favourite wine.

Before the second bottle is finished, Maya walks in through the front door with Luke close behind her, both freezing on the spot when they see me dancing in the living room.

"You guys are just in time…this is an awwwwwwsome song. Come, take a seat." I gesture to the sofa with my glass, which is almost finished again. I down the last bit just as the song starts and I sing as loud as possible with the empty glass still in my hand. And believe me, when singing talent was dished out, I was unfortunately last in line, but I'm way too drunk to care about that right now.

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

Both of them look at me in utter disbelieve and I break down, right there on the table.

"Why? Tell me why I couldn't fall in love with a normal guy… like a teacher… or an accountant… or something. I'm sad, but I'm not laughing… I crying… I'm always crying… and now I'm drunk… drunk and crying… how pathetic is this?" I ask and Maya turns the volume down.

"Ana, you've got to stop…" Maya starts until she is interrupted by Luke who looks like he's seen a ghost, lifting his phone to his ear.

"My apologies, Sir. I… I got a bit distracted and forgot you were on the line. Yes, she's… fine. A bit emotional and… Yes, Sir, drunk." He says quickly and I want to die. How the hell do you forget that there is someone on the other end of the phone… listening to… oh crap… I think I'm going to be sick. I make it to the toilet just in time. Red wine definitely tastes a lot better going in than coming out.

"Ana, can I come in?" I hear Maya on the other side of the door. Luckily she doesn't wait for an answer as I won't be able to give her one right now. "Honey, why are you doing this to yourself? You know he didn't cheat on you. You are punishing yourself and you are punishing Christian. He looks like hell, Ana. No one dares to get close to his office and they avoid him in the hallways. Rumor is that he has just begun to be a nice boss, and then he turned into the Grim Reaper."

"See, I'm no good for him. I will never be good for him." In so many ways, but she doesn't need to know that. I'm not capable to fulfill his needs. I wonder what went through his head on Monday as he stared down at the perfect sub?

"Ana, there is no Ms. Right or Mr. Right. You've just got to go for what you want and what makes you happy. And Ana, you are not happy and neither is Christian. How long are you going to punish an innocent man?" She's been on his side ever since she found out the truth. Everyone is on his side and I'm left alone and completely confused.

Why do you think that is? My inner goddess asks, pissing me off more. Even she is on his side.

"I don't know… I don't know what I want… and the longer I wait, the harder it is to pick up the phone and call him… to tell him I'm sorry for being a bitch… I'm sorry for… well, just everything…" I sob, lying on my arm on top of the toilet. If Kate was here, she would be dragging me into a shower and telling me to pull myself together.

But I'm lucky enough to have Maya with me right now. She helps me to brush my teeth and rinse my mouth and then get into bed. Before I could close my eyes, she's back with two Advil's and a glass of orange juice.

"Thank you, Maya." I tell her, almost asleep.

"Don't thank me, Christian told me to give it to you. He cares about you, Ana. Now get some sleep, the Gala is tomorrow."

Christian POV:

This week has been the longest week in my entire life. I've sent flowers, texts, e-mails, gifts and nothing could make her talk to me. Has she given up on us or is she still thinking? She said she needed time to think. How much time does a woman need to think and why do women always complicate even the simple things in life?

I was hoping to have her as my date at the gala tonight, but she declined, saying she will see me there. Luke informed me that they went over to Bellevue very early this morning in order for Ana to help my mother and Mia set up for this evening. For obvious reasons I have been avoiding my mother the entire week, but need to face her tonight. I don't expect to be welcomed with open arms.

When I walk down the red carpet with Taylor behind me, the camera lights flash repeatedly. Only selected reporters are invited to this event every year and normally my mother will not invite a reporter who wrote anything unflattering about the Grey family in the months immediately preceding the event. With the smaller than usual media presence tonight, I guess Mia was right, she also excluded the reporters who wrote unflattering articles about Ana.

I can already see the headlines tomorrow, "Cristian Grey arrives at Gala sans Anastasia Steele." Be that as it may, but I will not be leaving here without her come hell or high water. She had a couple of days to think and it's senseless for us to be apart any longer. With that in mind, I smile and make my way to the front door.

Walking into the gala, late as usual and hoping to leave as early as possible, I'm greeted with several stunning pictures. Mostly landscapes and abstract pictures of flowers, buildings, books and other things. The photographer is very talented, that much is clear. I stroll slowly through the display until I come face to face with five huge pictures of Ana. My Ana. On the wall for all to see. Beautiful as they are, my Ana is not to be displayed for any of the fuckers here tonight. Jose Rodriguez. He is the only one who Ana will allow to take pictures of her and the only one she will allow to display it to further his career. To the left there are pictures of Kate as well and I will make sure to let my brother know about this. Jose will not generate any income from pictures of Ana and Kate if the Grey brothers have anything to say about it.

And then I see her. She is staring at one of the pictures of herself. It's the one that stood out for me immediately. She looks beautiful, sitting on the grass with the lake at her back and the wind blowing her hair away from her face with a few strands over her face. It's a black and white picture, but it brings out her natural beauty. The picture is in contrast to the way I saw her the last couple of days. She's happy and smiling but deep in thought. I make my way over to her and stop when I'm standing as close behind her as possible without touching her.

"It's really a beautiful picture of you. Jose is very talented. He captured you perfectly, Baby." I tell her, but she doesn't turn to look at me.

"I hardly recognise the girl in the picture. It's hard to believe that it was taken less than two weeks ago." I fight the urge to pull her into my arms. I don't like the sad tone in her voice at all. "I remember exactly when this photo was taken. I was telling Jose about you and at the very moment that the picture was taken, I was thinking about you and how couldn't wait to see you the next day. Hard to believe that you could make me feel like that one day and a couple of days later, I was in so much pain that I wanted to die." She says and I take her hand, leading her to the library on the other side of the entrance.

After I make sure we will be alone, I close the door behind us and lock it.

"We are not leaving here until you hear me out." When she rolls her eyes, I see a glimpse of my Ana. I walk towards her slowly, "Baby, please stop talking as if we are over, because we are not. We belong together and you know it. I don't know what things you needed to think about since you wouldn't talk to me, but you are done thinking and avoiding me. We can work this out. You already know I didn't do what you thought I did." I plead again.

"I don't want to ever feel that pain again, Christian and with you, I'm sure that I will." I'm not too sure that I won't hurt her again either, but I will do anything not to feel this pain again or to see it in her eyes. "The problem is that I want all of you and you can't give me that."

"I can. Ana, I already did." I tell her and her eyes soften marginally.

"You can give me all of you? No secrets?" She asks and I nod. "Okay, let's start with Leila..." Oh shit, I did so not see that coming.

"There are hundreds of people on the other side of that door, Ana, and the event is about to start. Can we please enjoy the evening, together, and discuss this afterwards? I will tell you everything and anything that you want to know… full disclosure and no more secrets… after the Gala." Preferably followed with make-up sex. Shit, there I go again.

"Fine, we'll enjoy the evening… together… and as soon as it is appropriate to leave, we can go to Escala and have a serious discussion." I can do that. "Without any attempts to distract me, Christian." She says and when she smiles, my Ana is back.

"Scout's honour. I won't attempt to distract you while we have our discussion." When she raises her eyebrows, I start laughing. "I won't. I promise." I say and it feels good just to laugh again, not to mention seeing her smiling.

"That's better. Scout's honour only means something if you were a scout and sorry, but you don't seem the type."

"Fair point well made, Ms. Steele, as always. Now come, my mother probably can't wait for me to make my appearance." Even if it is just to kill me.

When we leave the library, hand in hand, I find it hard to believe that I even let things get this far. I should be worried about the inevitable discussion, but one good thing that came out of our little misunderstanding and the time apart for her to think, is that we both learned that we can't be apart.

A/N: Please take a minute to let me know what you think.

Song: "Hand in my pocket"- Alanis Morissette