"Well, you found the killer first, Ferb." Phineas said.
"Yes. And he is crazy as a buh-lowfish." Ferb said.
"Now is NOT the time to talk about blowfish, Ferb." Phineas said.
"There's always time to talk about blowfish." Ferb said.
"BE QUIET, BOTH OF YOU!" Shouted the dark figure standing in front of them.
"All right. But can we at least not be tied to chairs?" Phineas asked. "I prefer non-forced seating."
"No. You three are my captive audience for today." The figure said, moving into the light. "It's storytime, Cecil and Lester. I'm so sorry to the little character sitting to your left. I haven't thought of a name for him yet…"
"His name is Lowe." Phineas spat. "He's not for you to name. You don't control us."
"But I already have." The figure began to pace back and forth. The light from the single bulb in the ceiling lit up his brown hair and a few of his features as he walked past the first time.
He didn't look scary, like Phineas had expected. He was actually kind of… ordinary in his appearance. Like a stranger passing by in the grocery store. He didn't look like a killer.
Phineas narrowed his eyes. He had probably seen this guy at some point. He may have even walked by him the day Perry was poisoned. Not even a second glance.
Evil lurked everywhere.
"Our story begins in the very house this basement belongs to." The man said. "Three children were born here. The… average Zappy Zegmo, the idiot Drago Zegmo, and the misunderstood genius, Zippy Zegmo."
"Wonder which one he is." Ferb whispered to Phineas.
Zippy glared at him. "Please, do not talk during storytime. Gosh, children can be so rude. As I was saying, poor, misunderstood Zippy was… unappreciated for his talents. He was a fabulous baker. He created lovely cakes and pies and cookies and puddings…"
"Is this going to end like Sweeney Todd?" Ferb asked.
"…especially puddings. His mother, who normally doted on Drago, was incredibly in love with Zippy Zegmo's puddings. Rice puddings. Not chocolate puddings, not peach puddings, rice puddings. Oh no, no one wants anything but rice puddings." Zippy folded his arms. "Rice, rice, rice, all day long. That's all anyone ever wants."
"Rice pudding does sound quite good, actually." Ferb said. "I missed breakfast when I was kidnapped."
"Shut UP. The chocolate ones are just as good."
"Yes, but if we're in the mood for a rice pudding, we won't want the chocolate one, even if it's great." Phineas said.
"WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, ANYWAY?" Zippy shouted.
"Not yours." Phineas said angrily. "You poisoned Perry!"
"I'm getting there. Anyway, one day, Zippy went to the bookstore and bought a lovely tale entitled The Fall of The Fallen, and his journey into evil began. He dreamed to one day meet Kneada Knap, the amazing, wonderful author… who was so very good at evil… but then… Knap was arrested. The stupid O.W.C.A locked her away. They locked away a veritable genius. They couldn't get away with that. So I formed a plan for revenge… but it wasn't until recently that I came up with the perfect plot. What better way to avenge Knap… I would use her very words, her very story, to destroy the agency! I sabotaged the General's son's car, like the warning at the beginning of the book. I gave one of the agents a fake note to fix lighting near the square lamp… but he didn't die from the explosion. I sent my idiot brother to break into the agency- two birds with one stone- and manipulated the call system so that only thirteen agents could be contacted. Fourteen agents celebrated their catch of my brother, I poisoned the one with the different drink with a poison of my own creation…"
Phineas clenched his fists.
"…But still, he did not die. I sent a message to an agent to stock a truck with boxes and came up behind him… slammed him over the head… again, no death. The electricity and key plan did not work at all. Neither did any other plan… and so I realized… I needed to change the game. That is where you and Lester come in, Cecil. You two were the antagonists of my story. You two were the loners, the sad, bored children who had nothing better to do than ruin my plan."
"That's not true." Phineas snapped. "You can't just make up a life for us. We're not your puppets. You can't just write the entire world into one big messed-up story. All we wanted was to stop animals from being killed and hurt! Especially Perry…"
"I decide now." Zippy said, his eyes wild. "Cecil and Lester meet a rather interesting end. A tragic accident. They simply could not be saved. Their death was inevitable."
"Well, obviously." Ferb said.
Zippy grinned. "Ah, you misunderstand. I will provide that ending."
"You're crazy!" Phineas said.
"It's a rather interesting story though, don't you think?" Zippy looked excited. "Dramatic, tragic…"
"How about a different ending?" Ferb said.
Phineas nudged him. "What are you doing?" He hissed.
"Stalling." Ferb whispered. "Go on, brother. Think. Get one of your ideas."
"I don't think there can be a different ending." Zippy said with a shrug.
"May I at least ask you a question?" Ferb asked.
"Stop talking!" Zippy snapped.
"Enjoy it while you can." Phineas said. "Ferb rarely ever talks this much."
"It's a very important question." Ferb said.
"Fine." Zippy huffed. "Quickly."
"What exactly IS the core meaning of Fall of the Fallen?" Ferb asked.
Zippy took the bait. He began to tell the story in incredible detail, complete with high levels of analysis. Ferb nodded occasionally as he talked.
Phineas frantically looked around the room. There had to be some way to get out of this. There just had to.
"I brought you lavender leaf soup." Pansy said, placing a food dish next to Perry's bed. "The evil human person named Resep-shonist tried to stop me from delivering you lavender leaf soup. So I fought her. And now I am here, my magical egg platypus."
"Mom…" Perry yawned and rolled onto his side. He didn't open his eyes. "Mom, you have to help them… I can't reach the box to tell the people… I can't tell the people that they need people… what if all of them are there?"
"Drink the lavender leaf soup." Pansy advised.
"Mom… mom…"
"My name is Pansy."
"Carl is in the big white place with the big red hat… he needs me… the hole… the big hole…"
"The big pizza box hole?"
"Yes… yes…"
"Where the flowers live?"
"Yes…"
"In the Land of the Cherries?"
"Yes… yes… tell the people… tell the people to go and get them… and get Drippity Drop…"
"Okay." Pansy said. "And then I will bring you more soup. And I will make you a nice nest from the fluffy on the ground."
"…but I think that the narrator was more than just the anti-hero." Zippy said. "She did have a lot of characteristics of the innocent child archetype…"
"So… it was a coming-of-age story." Ferb said.
Zippy groaned. "You missed the whole point. All right, I'll start over…"
Phineas glanced at Lowe. Lowe seemed very calm. Annoyed, but calm. Phineas wished he could be like Lowe. He was shaking so much it was hard to keep his thoughts in order.
A glint in the corner of his eye caught his attention, and he looked up.
A grappling hook, dangling precariously from where it was hooked on a high shelf on the basement wall, directly over Zippy's head. If it fell from that height, it could probably knock Zippy unconscious.
But how to loosen it?
Phineas started to jump his chair around in an attempt to make the floor shake. Zippy paused in his story to watch.
"It's no use." He remarked. "I tied those ropes too tight, Cecil. You're only wasting your strength."
"Tell me about the imagery in the prologue." Ferb said.
"ENOUGH!" Zippy yelled. "Don't you two understand? THERE IS NO ESCAPE! I am the one who told the story of Knap! I am the one who manipulated everything to happen. I will be the one holding the pen that will write THE END. YOU HAVE LOST!"
Suddenly Phineas heard a deep growling noise from behind. He turned around to look.
A platypus was coming up behind them. Her hazel eyes were focused on Zippy.
"What the heck is that?" Zippy asked.
The platypus began to snarl.
"You." Lowe translated for the boys. "You are the one who fed him the mushroom."
A low, long growl, followed by a hiss.
"What does that mean?" Phineas asked.
"Translated less violently, I will tear you apart." Lowe said.
The platypus ran for Zippy and jumped on him, hissing and spitting. Zippy yelled and tried to shove her away.
More platypuses began to file into the basement, some waddling innocently down the stairs, others running straight for Zippy.
"Uh… could one of you help us out?" Phineas asked. "I mean, it's great you're attacking Zippy, but these ropes are really uncomfortable."
A platypus on two legs skidded to a halt next to them and began to undo Lowe's ties. She then scrambled off to join the battle.
Lowe pulled the rope restraining Phineas's hands. Phineas then undid Ferb's bonds.
"Where did all these platypuses come from?" Phineas asked.
"The first one we saw has a familiar bill shape." Lowe said. "I'd say they might be related to Perry."
"Perry's been busy." Ferb remarked.
"Oh, Ferb." Phineas shook his head.
Lowe laughed. "No, no. I'm thinking more along the lines of parents and siblings."
"Zippy Zegmo was arrested today for the attempted murder of a young teen and several animals." The news woman said. A picture of Zippy being led into the O.W.C.A prison by Monogram flashed onto the screen. "Zippy will be put into the O.W.C.A (Organization Without a Cool Acronym, please immediately forget this name) prison for life. This man was arrested thanks to the incredible sleuthing of local boys Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher, agency therapist Lois Land, and of course, the entire "The Platypus" family. We shall now interview Pansy the Platypus, the one who discovered where Zippy was located and fought him along with her family."
Pansy chattered and held up a bowl of water with a leaf floating in it.
"Look at that." Perry grinned. "You two are famous."
"Puh-lease." Ferb said. "We were always famous."
"Your last name is Platypus?" Phineas asked.
"Of course not. It's Flynn-Fletcher." Perry said.
"But what about before you lived with us?" Phineas asked. "Was it Platypus then?"
"Nope." Perry said.
"So your last name was always Flynn-Fletcher? That's serendipitous."
"Well…" Perry sighed and pulled the bedsheets closer around himself. "When dad first moved to the zoo, the Berrytree family- that's the gorilla family that lives in the closest enclosure- asked him his name so they could know the family name of their new neighbor. He told them his name was Percy the platypus."
Ferb started to laugh. "Your last name is actually The Platypus?"
"Laugh it up." Perry rolled his eyes. "Dad tried to take the 'the' out earlier, but mom threw a fit."
"So your full name really is Perry The Platypus?" Phineas laughed. "That's awesome."
"I prefer Flynn-Fletcher." Perry said. "I might legally change it so I can start signing all documents like that."
"So, Mr. The Platypus, what will you be having for lunch this fine afternoon?" Phineas held up a bag of fast food.
"Shut up and give me my fries." Perry took the bag from Phineas. "So glad that creep's stuck in prison now. I figured out that he was a Knap follower after I saw him in some Evil Scientist show. He had posters of her on his wall. Unfortunately, I fell asleep before I got the information to anyone and then woke up with incredible stomach pains and had to be knocked out with the painkillers. I'm glad you were able to understand my gibberish."
"Actually, Lowe understood it." Phineas said.
"Phineas just thought you were crazy." Ferb said.
"Aw, you have no faith in me. I'm offended, Phin. After all I've ever done for you."
"I never said that." Phineas said. "Guess what we're gonna do today, Perry? We're finally gonna invent an antidote to cure you. And then tomorrow we'll invent a super healing pack to help heal Harry's head."
"Can't wait to get out of here." Perry said, sipping his chocolate shake. "And have things finally go back to normal…"
"Buh-lowfish." Ferb said.
Phineas laughed. "Technically, things are already back to normal."