Note: I've been meaning to have Mail and his mother have this conversation for a while because I know the question of Mail's real sexual orientation has been asked several times through reviews and PMs. I was just waiting for the right time instead of shoving it somewhere regardless of the fact that it felt right or not, and now was the right time :)

Trish (unlogged, thus my reply here) reviewed that "you started scowling us with homosexuality etc. way too much, its a fanfic so please be done with that genetic scowling stuff once and for all, and also, would that mean that matt is also born straight so you kinda killed it a little."
I suppose that the person means 'scolding'.

So, first, this is a story, regardless of the fact that it is indeed under fanfiction. I don't treat a fanfiction differently than an original fiction, I make it accurate, and I don't put less emotions and effort in it just because it's fanfiction. When I write, I give my whole to it, no matter what. Should I respect the readers of my fanfics less than the readers of my original work by giving them less? No.

Then, about giving a lesson about homosexuality, when did I even do that? Matt is going through a thinking process, he is a character that needs background and evolves because the story would have no point without that. It's called progression, and the topic of this fic being about someone who breaks barriers and discovers his own sexuality, you'd expect me to raise the subject almost every chapter. Would J.K. Rowling write a whole HP book without writing about magic? (NOT comparing myself to her, I'm not even a HP fan, sorry, just making the point here because it was so obvious to me that a fic about homosexuality well, you'd read a lot about homosexuality in it, that the review really made me... duh.)

And, last, nothing ever confirmed anywhere along this fic that Matt had to be assumed straight. He fell for Mello, that should have hinted things a bit, shouldn't it?
I'm not a fangirl writing for the sake of smut, I'm a WRITER and I don't care if this is fanfiction, I will NEVER use the easy way or consciously avoid an aspect to serve my interests. I may even take things a bit too seriously with my writing, making things completely accurate, researching, giving psychological depth and finding credible reasons for everything, but that's the way I am, and I wanted to get this straight once and for all. It doesn't mean I don't do mistakes, and I totally accept to have them pointed out.

Sorry for the long AN but I thought that it could be useful to explain all of that, considering the content of this particular chapter, so it makes even more sense.

Mello
I dozed off once again, feeling at peace, our activities leaving me drained.

I woke up at dawn, feeling Mail shift beside me. He kissed me tenderly before getting up.
"I'll go home for a shower, I'll be back soon." he whispered in my ear, nuzzling my cheek, "I promise, I won't be long." he added, probably because I pulled a sad face. I didn't want to be away from him. I could already feel a knot forming in my stomach.

I tried to get back to sleep, but I couldn't help but turn the conversation with my parents in all directions possible, trying to find a clue. It only made me even more nervous, and I, for once, felt the arrival of the morning nurse very welcome because it was driving me insane not to be able to stand up or at least move more than I actually could, just to evacuate the stress.

She gave me a look when she changed my hand bandage.
"I take it you had a very good night." she winked.
I liked her. She talked about her kids sometimes while washing me, and I know that she was trying to make this moment a bit less embarrassing for me by focusing on something else.
She was a large brunette with a ponytail and breasts that could barely be contained in her white blouse. She always seemed at ease with me, and I had to admit that she reminded me a bit of Mail's mother, kind and strong. She had to be to work here.
And she was always the one to accept more than the hospital's rules allowed, letting Mail in the night before.
"Marital duties..." I chuckled, as she was wrapping my hand in a fresh bandage.
"He's such a cutie, don't let this one go, he cares about you big time." she smiled.
"What, I'm not as cute as him?" I pouted, teasing her while she took care of the scar on my face.
"Heh, don't blame me, I have a thing for redheads." she laughed loudly.
"I could take advantage of this." Mail's voice resounded behind her, and I saw him peeping through the door he'd just opened.
"'Morning sunshine!" she threw at him cheerfully, "As if you hadn't already, lover boy!"
Mail smiled to her, a soft laugh escaping his lips as he approached the bed.

"Hello princess." he pecked my lips, before taking the seat next to my bed, waiting for the nurse to finish with me.
I groaned at the stupid nickname, but I smiled anyway, relieved that he was here.
"I'm done, I'll leave you with Grumpy!" the nurse grinned at Mail while gathering her stuff, blowing a kiss to me as she always did before leaving, "And behave, before we run out of bandages!"
Her loud laugh echoed even after she closed the door.

Matt
After a bit of chatting, I could feel Mihael being more and more nervous. He hadn't brought up the topic of his parents since I had come back, but I didn't need him to say it to know it was what was bothering him.
I was torn because I knew part of what they were hiding from him, and I had to keep my worries for myself since knowing what I knew, it gave a new light to what they had told him. He was simply wondering why they were so secretive, and why they were so concerned about his father losing his place in the family business, even if he got a bad vibe out of it, but for me, it was alarming to know that Mr Keehl was seeing his own downfall from the Mafia coming, that he and his wife were pure bastards ready to endanger their son's life, and that they were too insistent to give up so easily on Mihael telling them to leave him alone. I had no idea what they could do at that point, and why Mihael's mother seemed the most vindictive of the two, but I had to be on my guard. Without Mihael noticing. Easy. Fuck.

I kept on coming everyday to visit him, now that his parents were out of the picture for now, but I had a nagging feeling that it wasn't over, that had gone too smoothly, them coming, talking and giving up when Mihael had refused to help.

The next Monday, I woke up early, to the sound of Skype beeping repeatedly. Ah fuck, I had let my computer on all night since it had decided to do an update and I was too tired to wait for it to be done. It had probably restarted once it was over, and although I had logged off from the messenger so I wouldn't be bothered, Skype had restarted as well. I didn't even need to look to know who it was.

Jeremy had sent me a few offline messages as well as emails since I hadn't been connected during the previous days, and I had briefly replied that I was really busy with the visits and all, trying to be nice but short, and although he wasn't stalking me per se, he was bordering it very closely. He probably knew that himself considering the few lines that were waiting for me on the screen of my computer, that I checked out of annoyance.

"Hello Mail, sorry to disturb you, I just wanted to make sure you were alright and tell you again that I'm here, should you need help with anything."

I gave him five minutes of chatting, feeling a bit guilty that I was being so selfish when he had helped me so much. It was just that I was so focused on Mihael, on my own feelings of relief for having him awaken and on his way to recovery, and of worry about his parents, that it was hard to find the will to give time to anyone else. It was something awful to admit, but Jeremy could disappear, I wouldn't miss him or go after him. But that was really horrible from me and I knew it, so I tried to make amend by giving him a bit of my time.

Once I logged off again, Jeremy seemingly appeased, something came to my mind and instead of going back to sleep as I had intended to, lacking a lot of it lately and visiting hours starting only in three hours from now, I got ready quickly, finding my mother in the kitchen when I exited my room and regretting immediately waking her up so early with the sound of the shower. She needed to rest too.

She was at work all day, and although she had always taken care of everything in the household in addition, she worried just as much as me over Mihael, and I knew that she lost sleep over it just as much as me. I guess that's what mothers do. And even if I would rather have her worry-free, seeing her care so much for Mihael made me happy, because my sexuality, although taking a sudden turn with me falling for Mihael, had never been questioned or rejected, and my boyfriend was like part of the family even before he was my boyfriend.

I knew that the day would come when Mihael would discover who his parents really were, and it reassured me to know that he would find open arms here to catch him when he would fall. It was not just me, he would still have a family, a real one, bound by much more than blood relations.

But it occurred to me that actually my parents hadn't been really surprised when Mihael and me had been together at first.
Sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, I stared at the content for a moment before speaking.
"Mum, you never showed any surprise when Mihael and me finally got together."
"Why would I have, my little fox?" she barely stopped stirring the pancake dough to raise an eyebrow at me.
"I had always dated girls and suddenly I'm with a guy, I mean..." What did I mean? Or rather, how to say it?
"You'll probably be the one surprised," she smiled, pouring a ladle of dough in the pan, "But as soon as we saw Mihael the first time, your father told me that you had more chances to fall for him than any girl you had had before. He didn't say it in a positive way of course, more like you would never settle with the attitude you had at that time, but it made me think."
"Attitude?" I asked, looking at her flip the first batch of pancakes.
"You weren't particularly... well behaved with girls, I'd say." she teased me, "We let you alone with this since we both knew you acted responsible at least with one aspect of it. And well, the rest was up to the girls that accepted that from you, I wasn't fond of what you were doing but you had to be two for that so I didn't want to put all the blame on you."
She didn't need to be precise for me to understand that as long as they knew I protected myself, they didn't interfere. But that was a bit weird to be having this conversation with my mother.

"But what does it have to do with Mihael?" we had diverted, or so I thought.
"As I was saying, what you father said that day made me think. It was obvious he had a huge crush on you, and I took that as only that of course, in the beginning. But the way you talked, I knew that the neighbours we had once, the gay couple, had a toll on your mind, and I purposely told you you sounded homophobic that day during dinner with Mihael, because I knew you were. I couldn't blame you, they had been disgusting. As adults, your father and me were able to make the distinction between sexual orientation and behaviour, and none of us put their awful actions on account of them being homosexual, they were horrible people, and that was all there was to it. But in the eyes of the child that you were at the time, I knew that it could do a lot of damage."
"Yeah... I remember every image of what I saw that night on the parking, I had nightmares for many nights after that, I didn't understand past the fact that men that had sex with men were disgusting..."
"I know, I understood when you found acceptable to state that you were not gay, as if it was a disgrace. I felt guilty, and what I told you that day was more of a reminder to myself that it was all my fault for not talking to you about that before the damage was done than anything."
"I was a dick, that wasn't your fault, I'm educated, I have an internet access, I see people everyday, I simply was too stupid to evolve on the topic." I replied. I knew that I had been an awful person, and there was no way I'd hold my mother responsible of that when she had raised me the best she could.
"You were too young to understand, and I should have explained to you. That was my role as your mother to guide you in the right direction. I'm relieved and happy that Mihael repaired this part of you and opened your mind, so I don't feel as bad as I used to for not doing my job, though."

She smiled to me, depositing a plate in front of me. I had planned to do several calls this morning, but suddenly, I felt as if it could wait. There was something I had to ask her.
I didn't have time to though, because she wasn't done. There was a point to what she had begun to say, and she hadn't reached it yet, I knew it.
She sat with her own cup of coffee, leaving the rest of the pancakes piled up on a plate on the counter, and smiled at me.
"He had a huge crush on you, that was very obvious... but he had something else: influence. And suddenly, watching you two interact, you falling for him didn't sound that crazy anymore. He was really forcing himself on you, I could tell, but that didn't shock me. What shocked me was that you were letting him do it. Oh, you protested, there's no denying it, but I don't think you'd have let a girl do half of what he did to you."
"No girl ever was so pushy with me." I stated flatly.
"Really?" she sounded very unconvinced, and she was right, although I didn't want to admit it. Layla had done the same, but I never let her a chance to go on, putting a halt to it right when it stared. Of course my mother didn't know that, I never shared my sex life with her, but she saw things in me anyway. Mothers...

"So you thought I was gay right from the start?"
"Not exactly... I didn't really ponder over your sexuality, that didn't matter to me, or your father, you'd find the right one for you at some point and, girl or boy, it wasn't important. But although you tried to push Mihael's advances away, you would drag him back to you when he escaped you as well, even if you didn't notice. It was friendship to you, or so you thought, but I wasn't blind, Mihael didn't have a simple crush on you, I saw the way he looked at you, you were the one for him, and somehow, it seemed right to think he was the one for you. He was changing you, and when somebody had the power to make you a better person, half of the relationship is built."
"What was the other half?" I didn't really get what she had seen that gave away the fact that I was in love with Mihael without even knowing it.
"The day you decided that for his own good you wouldn't see him anymore, you came back from his place and you were miserable. Heartbroken. I knew that he had achieved the change in you because for once, you had taken a decision that hurt you deeply just so he had a chance at happiness. Of course, friends do that too, but the few words you told me that day, that had he been a girl, you'd have a relationship with him, I knew. The barrier you were facing concerning your feelings for him were not his gender, but your acceptance of your attraction for someone of your gender." She grabbed my hand across the table, "I could only hope that you'd accept yourself, because you had already done half of the job by accepting him."

I stared at her a few seconds, trying to process her words. It all made sense, but I had never seen things under that light. It didn't change anything to how things were now but it untangled questions I had been asking myself lately, as to how someone can go from totally straight to being with a guy. I wasn't straight to begin with, most certainly... But misconceptions can be a huge curtain over things, I suppose.

I got up, put my plate and mug in the sink, and hugged my mother, depositing a kiss on top of her head before exiting the kitchen. It's lucky someone as thick as me has a lucid mother.

I got back to my room to make my calls.