Forty Nine
I awoke in the middle of the night, still on the couch in a tangle of limbs. Loki must have passed out shortly after I did. Jarvis had been kind enough to shut the TV off. I worked myself free from Loki's possessive grasp. He did look so peaceful when he slept.
I sat at my desk making the necessary upgrade to the security features for our penthouse. I needed to Natasha proof the code. Working helped me think. Was this relationship with Loki a fling or something real? Could I see myself living out the rest of my natural life with him? Could I see a family?
I've seen him at his most vulnerable, he's seen me at my most. We were so alike and the sex was incredible. I knew deep in my heart I loved him and wanted this more than anything. But my brain kept stopping me. Making excuses how this couldn't work. I started jotting notes on what I still wanted to ask him. A lot of questions focused around his heritage and what that might mean for any future children and his being a war criminal. How could we live a normal life, how could we raise a normal family?
"Tony!" Loki shouted from the couch. I leapt from desk and rushed to him. He was having a nightmare. I smoothed his hair back.
"Loki, wake up. You're having a nightmare."
"No! Don't hurt him! No! Tony!" He screamed my name. He thrashed, trying to get away from something. I reminded myself to add more soundproofing between the floors.
"Loki!" I shouted. He awoke following a startling fall to the floor. I jumped over the couch and came down to the floor next to him. I cupped his face, kissing him, kissing away the tears that had started falling. I tried to shush him, I tried to get any words out of him. He cried into my shoulder and neck and all I could do was hold him.
Loki finally settled down enough to speak. I told him to hang on, getting him a glass of water and tissue. He was appreciative of both.
"My mom always told me that if you say what your nightmare was it wont come to pass." I told him, holding him from behind, like he does me.
"I hope your mom was right." He squeaked.
"What was that bad that you fell off the couch and probably woke half the tower. Or at least whomever is below us." I coaxed, nuzzling into his damp hair.
"I dreamt Thanos found me and he captured you too." He sniffled. "He strung you up and tortured you, the same as they did to me." Loki collapsed into tears again.
"It was only a dream. I'm here, I'm fine. I'm not going anywhere."
"He…he cut you open, but you can't heal like I can. I watched you bleed out as he raped you. He made me watch!" He sobbed. I held him tight
"Love bug, listen to me. It was a dream." I took off my shirt. "See nothing." He turned and ran his fingers over my skin.
"Love bug?"
"Yes, love bug, calm down, only a dream." I held him on the floor, his arms wrapped around me. I swayed a little, remember my mother holding me after nightmares. "Let's at least lie down in bed."
I helped him up and to bed. We laid together, his head on my chest saying nothing. I stroked his hair until he fell asleep. I wanted this. Fuck my brain. I wanted to be with him, watch over him, love him.