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LadySharkey1 rocks my world by being the most amazing, kick-ass beta I could ever imagine.
17.
In the end, the whole scenario of his demise came with such ease that Edward would have been quite pleased with himself if it hadn't been for that gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomach. He'd spent the entire drive back to the Hamptons thinking and plotting until he was sure his plan was fail proof.
Fail proof in making even more of a failure out of his life.
Sighing, he tried to push those thoughts away. It didn't matter if he bemoaned his fate or realized what a total idiot he was for destroying the one positive influence in his life. At the end of the day, no amount of unfairness or reluctance was going to change the bottom line: he had to do it. In the back of his mind, Edward wished he'd had more time; more time to spend with Bella, but also more time to change his mind. After all, when he'd left the house that morning, everything had been fine. He'd left for Manhattan with that same sense of dread he'd felt ever since they'd started recording their new album and had expected to come back relieved and eager to lose himself in his Bella's arms.
But he wasn't.
He never would be again.
Because as sudden as his decision had been made and as much as it pained him to know what he had to do, at the end of the day he knew it was the only right thing.
He had to do it.
For her, because he knew that at some point in his life, he was going to hurt her…destroy that good, pure soul of hers beyond recognition. It had been on his mind for as long as she had been; the knowledge that he was no good for her. For a while he'd managed to stop himself from listening to that little voice that kept gnawing at the back of his mind, ruining a little bit of every moment they had spent together. But after what Laurent and James had said that night, it was back again and demanding to be heard.
He would destroy her.
And he couldn't allow himself to do that.
He had to do it.
For Edward, it was better to throw in the towel and walk away before he would give anyone the power to hurt him even worse than he'd ever been hurt before. Besides, hurting her was something Edward didn't even want to contemplate. Sure, he knew that what he was about to set into motion would cause her some pain, but the hurt she would feel as their affair was nipped in the bud was nothing compared to what he'd cause when he inevitably fucked things up between them.
And feeling what he felt, Edward knew that when he broke her heart, it would blacken his soul beyond salvation.
Not that there was a lot that remained to be salvaged anyway.
No, this was the right thing to do.
He knew it.
He had to do it.
Leaning against the kitchen counter, Edward scraped together every last bit of resolve he could find within himself as he chugged down a glass of his brother-in-law's finest scotch while dumping some more over his clothes as he began setting the wheels of his plan in motion.
The plan in itself would be simple but effective. He'd use the well-orchestrated troubles within his sister's household to set himself up in a way that was sure to not only get himself kicked out of his sister's house, but cause minimal damage to Bella's position. Though he couldn't quite figure out how to keep her out of the fire.
Stumbling into the laundry room, he shed the top layer of his clothes, haphazardly dunking his t-shirt into the basket just like he'd been trained to do by his sister but taking a little extra care with his jeans. After all, he wanted it all to look natural; like the little clear plastic baggie of pills had just fallen out of the pocket of his pants as he'd carelessly dumped them there in his drunk state of mind. By early morning, when Carlisle brought his own dirty laundry in (like the good trained monkey he was), the whole room would smell of the alcohol Edward had spilled on his clothes, which in itself would be enough to bring his Carlisle to a boil. Add the pills, lying right there in plain sight next to the laundry basket, and it would amount to a catastrophic eruption.
Or at least enough to send the asshole flying into Edward's room.
Which, of course, was conveniently right down the hall.
Tracing the route he envisioned Carlisle would take, Edward made his way into his bedroom. Steeling himself at the door, he took a deep breath in, his hand trembled as it closed around the door handle and twisted, his feet as heavy as lead as he ventured inside.
On the bed, a familiar shape was outlined by the sheets; the slow rising and falling of the fabric indicated that she was fast asleep.
Bella.
His Bella.
Even if it was only for a few more hours.
Seeing her there, all innocence, goodness and promise, he had to fight to remind himself why he was giving her up again; how it would be better for her if he just vanished out of her life. Knowing he was going to hurt her pained him deeply but not as much as the knowledge that on top of that would be the humiliation of being found in his bed the next morning.
It had to be done, though. Edward knew enough of Bella's tenacity to know that she wouldn't give up on him as easily as Carlisle would. Just finding the drugs wouldn't be enough. No, she had to see him for who he truly was: a callous scoundrel who used women the way other people would use a paper cup…how he'd drank her dry of every drop she had to offer him before throwing her away.
Even if it was the blackest of lies he'd ever told.
He had to do it, though.
He knew he had to do the right thing.
But not yet.
Quickly stripping out of the clothes he hadn't left behind in the laundry room, he slid under the sheets. His hands were still trembling when they reached for her, knowing this might very well be the last time he did it.
"Bella, kitten." His voice was hoarse with restrained emotion as he drew her to him. "Wake up."
She let out a garbled noise as she slowly came to, the lazy smile on her lips as she recognized him tearing at his heart. "You're back," she finally croaked out, smoothing her hair into something decent as she sat up. "I tried to wait up for you, but…"
"There was an accident on the expressway," he explained his lateness. "I'm here now, though." He smiled, closing his lips over hers as his hand started to wander, exploring her naked skin as he slowly peeled the sheet away.
"I'm glad," she muttered against his lips, wriggling closer until her legs could wrap around his waist.
He groaned as his hard dick came into contact with her heat, only a flimsy bit of fabric separating him from where he wanted to bury himself inside her one last time. "I missed you, kitten," he groaned, the husky vibration of his voice against her skin earned him a low moan as his kisses started to slowly move south, pushing up the little top she was wearing to wrap around the hard peaks of her tits.
He smiled around her nipple as she moaned and grabbed his hair in a way that would have been painful had it not been for the arousal pulsing through his system. Being as it was, it only spurred him on, the despair at this being the last time he would be able to drink in her taste and breathe in her luscious sweet scent lending his actions an unparalleled passion.
"Edward," she groaned, her legs rubbed together impatiently as he ventured lower again, trailing kisses along the center of her abdomen as his hands slowly started to peel away the last remainder of clothing that separated her body from his.
Her scent was overwhelming, her arousal filling the air as she was bared before him. His eyes closed, a low rumble escaping his chest as he breathed her in and took a moment to savor the moment.
"Edward!" He chuckled as her voice grew more insistent, his eyes darkening with fevered lust as he moved down, dragging his lips along her hot skin until they met her wetness.
Bliss.
His groan drew an answer from her which only spurred him on, his actions a reaction to the sound and movement of her body as he made her thrash, moan and, in the end, scream out his name as she came around his fingers, his lips pressing light kisses against her clit as he watched in rapt fascination while she came down from her high.
Exquisite.
He grinned, satisfied at the sight of her so undone by his ministrations as he kissed his way back up her body, her lazy smirk before her lips found his, making his dick twitch in anticipation.
Because, by then, there was no stopping.
"I believe it's my turn now, mister rock star," she whispered huskily as she pulled her lips from his and traveled that same, excruciatingly slow path he had just been on down to where he was hard and waiting for her.
"Fuck!" he gasped as she licked the underside of his shaft before she closed her wet, warm lips around his tip, her pace a sweet torment as she started to take him in. Over the past few weeks, they become more and more familiar with each other's bodies—he had loved how his sweet, little, innocent kitten had grown more and more confident. And he had sure as fuck loved being the one she had experimented on.
All too soon, it became time to stop her because, as much as he loved her mouth wrapped around his cock, it wasn't where he wanted to be when he came. Pulling her body up towards him as he claimed her lips again, his hand blindly reached out towards the little bedside table and the severely dwindled stash of condoms he kept in there.
Handing it over to her, his cock twitched as she took her bottom lip between her teeth, her face all concentration as she fished the little piece of rubber from its wrapper and expertly rolled it around his shaft.
"I want you on top today, kitten," he groaned, watching the blush spread on her cheeks. "I want to watch you ride me." Flushing all the way down her body, she scooted into position, her hand grabbing hold of him as she lined him up with her entrance before slowly sinking down onto him.
He groaned, lifting his body towards hers as he claimed her lips, their bodies fused together with hardly any space between them.
Just like it was always supposed to be.
Moving together in a dance they had perfected after lots and lots of practice, they both took pleasure from each other and gave as much in return; their bodies growing slick with the strain of exertion as Bella's hips rolled against his while his hands caressed her breasts or rubbed her clit until she gasped his name. His eyes were mesmerized by the sight of her, her tits rising and falling as she rode him until the pleasure became too much, her movements erratic, her hand clamped around her mouth to stop her cries from spilling out into the air.
Waiting until her movements slowed down, he surprised her by flipping them over, her back hitting the mattress in time with his first, forceful thrust. She gasped, her legs instinctually folding around him to draw him even deeper inside her, her hands clawing at his hair…his back…his everything as he fucked her until he, too, reached his climax.
He barely had the presence of mind to clean himself up and make sure they were both covered again before he crashed, her body cradled in his arms as he tried not to dwell on the fact that it would be the last time he would be able to fall asleep like that.
The last time he would probably sleep at all, seeing as she seemed to be the only person in the world who could keep the bad dreams at bay.
The only person in the world who would ever make him feel alive.
It seemed like only minutes before a loud crash, somewhere inside the house woke him up, his groggy mind played tricks on him and almost made him believe that it was all a nightmare; that he would be able to live his happily ever after with the girl of his dreams.
Until the door flew open.
Thoughts?