Author's Note: Yes. It's really me. It's really a new chapter. FINALLY! No long explanation, that's already been done here: authorsamwinthrop/ I've also communicated with a few of you who were concerned about the hiatus. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for leaving you all hanging. I know I hate it when authors do it, then I went and became one of them. Please forgive me and accept this chapter as penance for my abandonment. :) I wrote the first half of this chapter very, very late at night, which should explain some of the more "lemony" qualities. ;) Enjoy!
JESSIE:
I spend most of the night staring into the dark, seething over my parents' betrayal. My whole life my father has talked all this crap about how we need to be honest about the big stuff, even if the truth hurts. I spent over a year stewing in guilt over my fighting, feeling horrible for not coming clean to my parents. This entire time, they've kept an even bigger secret from all of us.
I still can't fathom the idea of my dad, Travis Maddox, working with the FBI. It's so completely out of character for him. Then again…he really never seemed like the kind of guy to spin bullshit for a bunch of yuppy suits. God, do I really know him at all?
And my mother. I don't know how many times she looked me in the eyes over the years and flat out lied to me.
Go to sleep, sweetie. Daddy's working on a project with Uncle Tommy, he'll be home late.
Daddy will only be gone for a couple of days. He's going to work on a big commercial in California! Maybe we'll get to see it on T.V. someday.
Don't cry, Jessie. Daddy wanted to be here for your game but an important client really needed his help.
What a crock of shit.
"You still awake?" Dean mumbles sleepily next to me.
I turn onto my side facing him. "Can't sleep."
He lifts up onto his elbow and leans over to the bedside table, tapping his phone so that the bright blue light illuminates the dark room. "It's four in the morning. Have you been up all night?"
I shrug my exposed shoulder and he flops back down, pulling me over to rest my head on his chest.
"Wanna talk about it?"
I groan and bury my face in his neck. "Not even a little bit."
"Okay then," he yawns.
We lay there in silence except for Dean's deep breaths, which have begun to slow, signaling me that he's falling asleep again.
"I just can't believe them!" My outburst startles him back into consciousness.
"Is this you not talking about it?" he grumbles.
"This isn't something you keep from your grown, adult children," I rush on. "Sure, okay, when we were too young to understand, I get not telling us. But Jamie and I are turning twenty-two soon. Jared is fifteen, and he understands a lot more than anyone gives him credit for. There is no excuse." I tear the sheet away from my body and surge to my feet to pace the spacious bedroom.
"And what did Aunt Liis mean that these secrets were for our safety? This whole thing with Will just blew up a couple of days ago. So what does she mean about safety? What the hell has been going on all this time?" I drop down onto the foot of the bed with my hands grasping tightly at the roots of my hair, unable to wrap my head around anything at this point.
I feel Dean's body approach behind me, and I lean back with a sigh. "Tell me what to do. Tell me what to think. I can't do this on my own anymore."
He wraps his arms around my middle and places his lips firmly against the side of my neck. "You know I can't do that."
"Then help me forget it all," I demand, clutching at his arms still encircling me. "Just for a couple of hours."
He tilts his head to the side so he can search my eyes for my meaning. I know immediately when he picks up on what I'm asking because his body clenches behind me and he tightens his hold. "That I can do," he whispers into my ear, nipping at the lobe. Moving to the side, he lays me down on the rumpled sheets. I can tell he's going to be gentle, taking care of me as though I'm a fragile piece of glass; breakable.
"Don't." I interrupt his slow, lingering trip from my jaw to my lips.
"What?" He looks down at me with concern, wondering what he's done wrong.
"Don't do what they did. Don't protect me. Don't shield me. Don't treat me like the slightest bit of pressure will cause me to break." My breaths are short from the frustration and need mounting inside of me like storm clouds, building until there is nothing left to do but burst.
I tighten my legs around his waist and prop myself up on one arm so we're inches apart. I lay my free hand against his stubbled cheek and bring him even closer, our lips barely brushing with my next words. "Make it all fade into the background. Make it go away. Make me forget." My tongue darts out to sweep across his bottom lip before I drag my teeth over it, whispering my final plea, "Make me scream."
The switch flips and I barely have time to register his eyes going nearly pitch black, not a trace of the icy blue to be seen. He crushes his mouth to mine and all I can do is hold on for the ride. His hands rake up my sides, grasping my fitted tank top on their way. When I think he's going to pull it off, he merely tugs it up just over my head so that my arms are trapped above me, leaving me helpless with my body exposed to him.
"Is this what you wanted?" His voice is nearly unrecognizable, so gravelly with lust.
I swallow hard and nod, unable to find my own voice. He takes my silent acceptance as encouragement to keep going. His mouth travels down my neck roughly, surely leaving marks in its wake. Ask me if I care. When he reaches my breasts my instinct is to grab hold of him but I can't move my arms, so I moan and writhe beneath him, frustrated and turned on beyond belief.
My sleep shorts are ripped away easily. When I think he's going to return to my mouth and slip inside of me, he throws me for another loop. His mouth presses into me desperately and I see stars behind my clenched eyelids. Deprived of my ability to touch him, I cry out and beg for more, for less, for things that don't even make an ounce of sense. I can't think. I can barely breathe.
Just when I feel like I'm about to shatter from the pressure, his lips find mine and he finally plunges inside of me. His name escapes my mouth in a guttural yell and I hold him tightly with my legs, the only control I have, as he slams me into a wall of pleasure that does not end. When I feel him follow me over the edge, I give up all pretense of control and let him ride out the wave with me until we're both lying in a sweaty, panting, exhausted tangle of limbs.
Eventually, what feels like a lifetime later, he lifts his head and looks down at me. Seeing the state of my arms he slips the fabric up and away, releasing me. He rests his forehead against mine and kisses me firmly, deeply.
"So, was that what you had in mind?"
I stare at him, dumbfounded. Then a burst of laughter escapes and I pull his face back down to mine.
"I called Jamie while you were in the shower," I tell Dean while we pick at the breakfast he ordered from room service.
"What'd you tell him?" he asks around a mouthful of bacon.
"Just that there's some family business we need to talk about, and that mom and dad are coming in earlier than we thought. He said he'd be over soon." I toy with a piece of toast, still not having much of an appetite. I did end up getting a few hours of sleep finally, but everything I was trying to forget was waiting for me when I woke up.
"Well your family's plane landed safely. Jared just sent me a text that they're getting in a cab now from the airport, so they'll be here in about half an hour." He dusts off his hands and finishes his cup of coffee.
"Wonderful," I mutter, getting up from the table and moving to stretch out on the chaise in front of the french doors.
"Hey, it's going to be alright." Dean takes a seat next to me and pries my tangled fingers apart so that he can hold my hand. "Just let him talk. Let him explain. You know your dad better than almost anyone. There has to be good reasoning behind all of this. Give him a chance to tell you his side."
I study his face as he brings our joined hands to his lips. Everything we've been through could've torn a weaker couple apart. Even now, with all of the drama that is about to be unleashed by my family, a lesser man would've walked away. Not Dean. God, he must really love me. Like, really. Wow.
"What?" he asks suspiciously.
"Nothing. I'm just really thankful to have you here with me. Not just here in this room, but you know, like, here." I cover my face with my palm, unable to articulate my emotions as per usual.
His warm hand encircles my wrist and moves it aside so that he can place a kiss on my forehead. "I know. And you're welcome. Even though there's not much of a choice. You're pretty much stuck with me, for better or worse." His smiling lips meet mine as his words unleash a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. For better or worse…
An incessant buzzing between our bodies forces us to separate. I look down at my phone, which was resting on my stomach, and see a name I don't expect.
"Danny? Hi. What's up?" Dean's face is as confused as mine over the idea of Danny calling me for something. I simply shrug to let him know I'm curious as well.
"Jessie, hey, don't freak out okay? I'll explain everything as soon as I see you, but I'm gonna need you and Dean to meet me right away."
"Wait, meet you where? What's going on?" I put Danny on speakerphone because he's being completely cryptic and maybe Dean can help me figure out what the heck is up.
I hear a deep exhale and then he answers, "Cedars Sinai."
Dean immediately responds, "You're at the hospital? What happened? Are you okay? Wait, what the hell are you doing all the way out here? Why wouldn't you be at Metro or some place closer to USC?"
Danny clears his throat when Dean's flood of questions finally ends. "I told you I'd explain when you got here. It's not me, I'm fine. I don't want to do this over the phone, can you guys please just come meet us at the emergency room triage at Cedars?"
Looking at Dean with concern because, despite Danny's reassurances, his color is still not great, I take over the conversation. "Of course Danny. Give us ten minutes. We'll be—wait, did you say we? Who's with you at the hospital?"
There's a pregnant pause and all we can hear from the speaker is a muffled PA announcement in the background. "It's Jamie, Jess. He's going to be fine. Just get here, please."
The line disconnects and blood rushes in a swish, swish, swish in my ears as I digest the new information. Jamie. My Jamie? Jamie is in the hospital. That's all it takes to light the fire under my ass. "We have to go. Now."
I scramble to my feet and race around the suite looking for a pair of shoes, not waiting for Dean to react. He's waiting by the door with his keys when I finally make it back to the main room. We don't talk on the elevator ride down to the lobby. Dean just keeps his eyes on the ground, seeming to be working through something in his head. I don't spend much time thinking about it. Even though Danny swore Jamie would be okay, I won't believe it until I can see him for myself.
The ride to the hospital is less than five minutes, thankfully. Dean doesn't bother with a parking space, but simply hands a valet his keys, grabbing the ticket hastily as we rush through the sliding glass doors. I jog down the short corridor and am about to demand my brother's information from the woman at the desk when I see Danny standing outside of a curtained off area.
He raises a hand in a small greeting as I approach him, breathless. "Where is he? What happened?"
"They're just giving him a few stitches. We can't go in until the doctor is done with him." Dean has caught up and embraces his brother briefly, relieved that Danny isn't the one behind that curtain.
"Seriously, what's the deal? Is he alright?" Dean questions, concern for Jamie lacing each word.
"Let's sit, I'll explain everything." Danny directs us over to a small waiting area but I'm not able to sit down until I know what the hell is wrong with my brother.
"Just tell me Danny!" My outburst would've been inappropriate had there been anyone else in the room with us. As it is, I probably woke any sleeping patients within a ten room radius.
"It was a car accident. Some asshole was tailgating us on La Cienega Blvd. and he rear ended my car at a red light, sending us into the intersection. Another car was coming from the opposite direction and tried to swerve but still clipped my front end and Jamie hit his head on the passenger side window. The car that hit us stopped, but the dickhead who rear ended me sped off. All I saw was that it was a black Escalade." He pauses his explanation to take in my reaction. "I promise you Jessie, your brother is going to be fine. It was just a gash in the forehead. He sent me a text from the triage room. They already checked him for a concussion. He's good. I wouldn't have called you to come here, but they wanted a bunch of information that I couldn't give them. They wouldn't let me see him to get it because I'm not family and I panicked, so I called you guys since you were so close. I probably shouldn't have. Jamie's going to be pissed at me." He looks a bit bent out of shape over that prospect.
I take a deep breath and finally fall into a stiff plastic chair, relieved that it isn't one of the hundred scenarios that played through my mind in the ten minutes between that phone call and our arrival. Dean winds his arm around my shoulder and kisses the side of my head, satisfied that everything really will be fine.
"Hang on," I say leaning forward so that I can look at Danny directly. "What is Jamie doing with you anyway? He was supposed to be staying with…"
"Am I late for the party?" Jamie asks from the open archway of the waiting room. I leap up and throw my arms around him in a death grip, then shove him. "Don't ever fucking scare me like that again!"
"Scared the shit out of us, bro." Dean holds out a hand for Jamie's and pulls him in, patting him on the back.
"I didn't mean to. Really, you guys didn't have to come. I talked the nurse into letting me fill out the paperwork while I was waiting for my discharge papers. It's a scratch. Seriously. They're writing me a prescription for some mild pain reliever, then I can get out of here. I heard you all the way down the hall and let the nurse know that if I didn't show my face and shut you up, they'd have to hear your big mouth in person sooner or later." He pokes my side and I slap his arm.
I reach up and brush aside his bangs to see the slightly red area just along his hairline sewn together with three stitches. I hug him again because I know it could've been a lot worse, and I'm so happy that he's here in one piece. He rocks me from side to side then releases me.
"So what about mom and dad?" he asks. "Do they know I'm here?"
"Shit, no, I forgot all about them. They'll be getting to the hotel any minute."
"Well just go on back, they're letting me leave in a few minutes. We'll be right behind you." He takes a few steps toward Danny, and I'm struck again by the one unanswered question still hanging between the four of us.
"Jamie, what were you doing in Danny's car to begin with?"
Dean looks at his brother, Danny looks at Jamie, Jamie looks at Danny, then finally they both look at me and Dean. "We were going to tell you today, when we got to the hotel."
"Tell us what?"
"Well…" Danny reaches for Jamie's hand, lacing their fingers together.