DEAN:
"Wow," Jessie muses from the passenger seat.
Leaving the hospital was a bit of a blur. I'm still working on picking my jaw up off the floor. Understandably, Danny asked if we could talk more about everything later, and I mumbled in agreement mostly so that I could get away and process things.
I don't really know what I should be thinking or feeling at this particular moment. Yeah, wow. I'm more than a little stunned over his announcement. Setting aside the whole Jamie situation, because I can't even touch that one yet, I keep playing back Danny's teen years trying to figure out how I missed it. He never really had any long term girlfriends. He dated girls here and there, and I know he's slept with girls. But shouldn't I have known anyway? Was I that terrible of a brother that I couldn't see it?
"Dean, you missed the turn," Jessie breaks through my inner monologue.
"Shit," I mutter under my breath, taking the next turn to circle back to the hotel.
"Hey, you can talk to me about this you know. I'm a seasoned vet at this whole having a gay brother thing." She rubs my shoulder lightly.
"I'm trying to figure out how I didn't notice. How messed up is that? The kid is probably in all sorts of turmoil about coming out, and I'm thinking about myself." I shake my head as we pull into the valet line.
As we make our way into the lobby, Jessie takes my hand and tries to ease my mind. "You couldn't have noticed if Danny didn't even let himself see it. I'm sure he has spent a lot of time exploring what all of this meant to him before he even accepted it. Now he just needs your support. He needs to know you still think of him as the same old Danny. Because he's exactly the same person he was an hour ago when you had no idea. The only difference is that he's dating my brother apparently." She laughs in disbelief herself over that last bit.
"Who's dating Jamie?" a voice asks behind us.
"Jared!" Jessie flings her arms around her brother as her parents approach with him, but I'm eyeing up her father who's approaching with what looks like trepidation. Not an emotion I thought I'd ever see expressed by this man.
"Where've you been Jessie? You shouldn't be wandering around right now," her mom scolds.
"Jamie was in a minor car accident. We were at the hospital checking on him. He's okay, but he bumped his head and needed a couple of stitches. He's on his way here now." Jessie's voice is cold and clinical when she addresses her mother, and she doesn't take her eyes off of Jared as she explains.
I clear my throat, hoping to ease the tension a bit. "Why don't we head up to the penthouse? You're gonna flip when you see it." I slap Jared on the back and steer him over to the elevators while Jessie follows, flanked by her parents.
"It was very nice of your mother to arrange this, Dean. I spoke with her before we boarded our flight to thank her." Abby clearly understands that speaking to Jessie isn't going to get her anywhere, so she tries to strike up conversation with me instead. I meet Jessie's death glare as I insert the key for our floor and decide short and sweet should keep me on good terms with both parties. "She was more than happy to do it. The security is top notch."
Travis grunts. "Yeah, we're aware. They wouldn't even tell us you were listed as guests, let alone take us upstairs."
"As it should be," Jessie throws in sharply.
"Jessica," Abby warns, but it's useless. Jessie is off the elevator in a flash, gripping Jared's hand so that she can show him around, leaving me to deal with her parents.
"Um," I start, not sure where to take the conversation. "Why don't I show you to your room? There's a few, so if it's not sufficient, you can choose a different one." I take the suitcase from Abby and walk them in the direction of the stairs. Having them stay in the room furthest from Jessie and me is probably for the best.
"Sorry Dean, but I need to talk to my daughter." Travis is halfway through the living area when Jessie rounds the corner from the kitchen.
"No, you really don't," she says icily. "The only thing I want to hear is an explanation, and since Jamie isn't here yet, I know I'm not going to get one. So whatever you have to say to me can wait." Her eyes could bore holes in lead. She stands across the room from her father but they mirror each others' stance. Arms folded, hip cocked, chin in the air in defiance.
"Scary, huh?" Jared nudges me with his elbow. I laugh but disguise it as a cough before Jessie decides to turn that frostiness on me.
"Jessie, I know you have a lot of questions—"
Holding up a hand, Jessie cuts Abby off. "The same goes for you, mom. I don't want to hear it unless I'm getting the whole story. The truth."
"Hey! We are still your parents. You don't get to speak to us like that." Abby shouts.
"Oh that's right. I have to be a good little daughter and do as I'm told right? Because daddy's got a tough job, daddy's so stressed with his work, daddy's full of shit!" Jessie yells and storms down the hall to our bedroom. I feel, more than hear, the door slam shut.
Abby is getting over the shock of her outburst and is about to go after her when Travis holds out a hand to stop her. "Let her go."
"She can't talk to you like that, Trav. You're still her father, no matter how angry she might be."
"Just, let her go. Nothing she's said is wrong."
Jared is staring wide eyed and slack jawed at the two of them. I think everyone forgot he was still in the room.
"Hey man, let's go up to the roof and I'll show you the view. There's a fire pit up there and everything."
"Um, 'kay…" he mutters, still confused and wondering what the hell is going on.
Join the club, kid. Join the club.
JESSIE:
I refuse to cry. I'm not giving up any more of my tears. Not while I'm still in the dark about all of this. Instead I just lay on the bed, seething with fury. The nerve…
Knocking on the door disturbs the beginning of a good internal rant. "Go away!"
More knocking. "It's me, Jess. Open up."
At the sound of Jamie's voice, I roll off the bed and twist the lock to open the door.
"Took you long enough," I complain, giving him a once over to make sure he's alright. Locking the door behind him again, I fling myself back onto the bed dramatically.
"I couldn't exactly make it past the 'rents without giving them an explanation about Danny." He sits gently next to me, careful not to jostle himself too much. I can tell the headache behind his eyes is pretty intense.
"Oh yeah? How'd that go?"
"Short and to the point. They like him anyway, so it's not like it was that big of a deal. It'll be harder for him, telling his mom and Nick. He already thinks Dean is going to get weird on him now. He was heading up to the roof to talk with him when I left mom and dad to go unpack their stuff. They told me you were in here sulking so I figured I'd come bug you."
"Poor Danny. Do you remember what it was like before you came out to the family?" I turn to face him.
He chuckles a little and leans his head back on the headboard. "Yeah. I threw up four times before I came down to Thanksgiving dinner and told them I wanted to invite my boyfriend over for Christmas. I thought the uncles were going to try and beat it out of me or something."
"You know that never would've happened, Jamie," I admonish him.
"Logically I know that. But there are some really fucked up horror stories about coming out that I'd heard. And shit, I was younger than Jared. I had no idea what to think, really. Do you remember what dad said?"
I smile a little. Even though I'm still so angry at him, my dad has had some really great moments. "Yeah, he said 'Does he know five card draw?' and then he got up and hugged you."
"He's the best father I could ask for. Which is why I'm stumped as to why you seem to be so pissed at him."
I lower my eyes, not able to make eye contact while I tell him. "Jamie, they've been lying to us. Our whole lives. About everything."
"What are you talking about?" He sits up as if the new position will help him to better understand.
The words spill out of my mouth without any finesse. "Dad was in the FBI."
"Sure, yeah, he's in the FBI and uncle Tommy is an international spy." He's laughing but stops when he sees my expression hasn't changed.
"You're not too far off. Uncle Tommy is in the FBI too. And Aunt Liis. They were here last night. They told me they were here to keep me safe until Will is found, and they let it out that dad worked with them back in the day too. Apparently he's retired, but he was in the FBI, Jamie. Our dad. He and mom lied to us about it."
Stunned into silence, Jamie lays down and I roll onto my back so that we're shoulder to shoulder. Minutes pass and we still haven't uttered a word between us. He's processing. I'm stewing.
"Well, fuck."
"Yup," I agree.
DEAN:
"Hey kid," Danny messes up Jared's hair and takes a seat next to him on the large outdoor sectional. "Your parents were looking for you. Said something about letting you pick out a room."
"Sweet, later!" He's up and jogging down the stairs before I can respond.
An odd feeling settles between me and my brother. Something that's never been there before, and it bugs me. Tension. Awkward tension. We both purse our lips and nod at each other for lack of a better form of acknowledgment. I clear my throat, he cracks his knuckles. I lean forward to prop my elbows on my knees, he leans back and rests his ankle on the opposite knee. So weird…
"This is so weird," Danny mutters.
"I was just thinking the exact same thing," I chuckle.
"Look, if you have a problem, let's get it out in the open now so we can deal with it."
Thrown off, my brow wrinkles in confusion. "Why would you think I have a problem?"
"Don't you?" he asks, frustration seeping into his words.
"Honestly? No. I'm just…"
"What?" he demands.
"Cool it with the attitude. Look, I don't know what I'm supposed to say here." Now I'm frustrated. Great. "You act like I'm some expert at how to react when your brother comes out. I don't have a wealth of experience with this, D. What do you want from me?"
"I want you to tell me that it doesn't change anything. That you could give a shit less who I date. That you aren't gonna look at me differently every time you see me." He's standing now, arms flailing to punctuate each statement.
I cross the deck to stand in front of him, so that he can see I'm not messing around. "Dude…why should I have to tell you any of that? You know me. Everything you just said is exactly how I feel. You're still my brother. I still love you. I thought you wanted me to make some kind of grand speech or something about it, or react a certain way. But honestly? I'd really like to not talk this to death because it doesn't change shit. Except I might have to have a little talk with Jamie. Kid's flighty as hell. Plus, now if someone messes around with my little brother, I can actually knock them out."
He stares at me for a second then begins roaring with laughter. It's impossible not to join in.
"Thanks for not making me feel like a freak," Danny says soberly as the last of our amusement fades.
"You're my brother. I got your back. Always." Emotion tightens my throat, and I see it reflected in his eyes. "When are you planning to tell mom?" I ask to break the tense moment.
"About that…" he ambles over to me and throws an arm around my shoulder. "I was thinking maybe you can just slip it in during your next phone call and let me know how it goes?"
The snort is completely involuntary and I raise my eyebrow at him as we make for the steps. "Nice try."