It started harmlessly enough, but unfortunately it got out of hand (and we had so much fun letting it get out of hand!), but the end result is we have had to 'up' the rating to M...
Disclaimer: we still don't own...

'John! Where are my feet? - SH'

'On the end of your long lanky legs, you git.;) – JW'

'John, please try not to be more of an idiot than you already are. I mean the ones I took from the freezer last night and put on the kitchen table to defrost. – SH'

'Are you winking at me? – SH'

'Would you like me to wink at you?;) I can do more than wink you know?;) Lol! I think Mrs. Hudson binned them. She was muttering something about biohazards and pulling that face she gets when you've left something dead & dying about. - JW'

'If she wasn't our housekeeper…! Now I'll have to get the two left feet out.- SH

And yes, I would like you to wink at me. You don't do it often enough, you know – SH

'Sherlock! She's not our housekeeper! She shouldn't have to go around binning spare feet. In fact neither should I. No one should. Except perhaps people whose job it is to clean up spare parts. And please don't tell me you have more spare parts? - JW'

'I can think of other things I don't get to do often enough. – JW'

'Alright then – SH'

'And you don't get to do things because you're never here. :( there are some things that just shouldn't be done alone. – SH'

'Alright then?' What do you mean by that? It makes me a little nervous when you give in so easily! And did you use a sad face emoticon? Sherlock are you developing emotions?:D

It's not my fault you know. That this conference happened right after that busy week at the clinic. I had to pick up those extra shifts because of the murder you were investigating the week before. – JW'

'I...never mind. Forget it. – JW'

'Have I done something wrong? – SH'

'No! God no! It's me. You won't like it. It's sentiment. – JW'

'I like everything about you John, how could I not? – SH'

'Er… Getting funny looks 'cause I'm blushing here. Ummm Thanks Sherlock. Well it's this. I miss you. And you're right, there are somethings that shouldn't be done alone. And, well, it's just that we've been apart for awhile and I …oh hell! – JW'

'It's no good – the extra feet aren't defrosted so I can't do my experiment. I'm going to lay on the couch and think. Can you buy me a new t-shirt on your way home? - SH'

"Okay. Are you ignoring what I said or are you ignoring what I couldn't say? – JW'

'Oh, I'm ignoring nothing, John. I'm laying here, thinking about what you said (and what you didn't say), but I'm uncomfortable. Every time I stretch the gap between my t-shirt and my pyjama bottoms is so big my stomach gets cold.;) – SH'

'Is it alright for me to wink back at you? ;) – SH'

'Okay – sorry but my mind went somewhere for a moment picturing that. T-shirt, sure. Yeah. And winking. Winking is good. Very, very good. Ummm…yeah. – JW'

'How small is that t-shirt? – JW'

'Oh it's small, John…and very tight. I think you ought to pick me up some new pyjama bottoms too. These barely come up to my hips. – SH'

'Oh Lord Sherlock! You've got to stop texting me stuff like that! It's getting awfully uncomfortable. I'm going to have to leave this lecture and go and…oh!' JW

'Something wrong John? Can I help? – SH'

'Ummm…help me? Yeah that's what I'm afraid of. I think I need to excuse myself from the conference room. Hang on a second. – JW'

'John, when can you come home? The flat's too….. – SH'

'Sherlock, I'm on my way! I just threw my things in my bag & checked out of the hotel. I might not have time to stop and get you a new t-shirt or pyjama bottoms. You'll have to make do with what you are wearing until I get there and I can help you get sorted out. I am at the train station right now! – JW'

'Hurry John – if I rub my hands across my stomach I might just prevent hypothermia setting in before you get home – SH'

'You do know I am now sitting on a train full of people, right? This is going to be a long trip. Particularly as I can picture in my mind exactly how slowly you are rubbing your hand across your stomach - very, very slowly. Because hypothermia would be a bit not good & we wouldn't want that to happen. – JW'

'Extremely slow strokes John, from the bottom of my t-shirt down to the very low slung waistband of my pyjamas, then slowly stroking back up. - SH'

'And John, I need tea. I'm so dehydrated I have to keep licking my lips to moisten them ;) - SH'

'The lady sitting across just asked if I was alright.

I think it would be a good idea if you take off your t-shirt. The tightness of it might be constricting your circulation. You'd have an easier time warming yourself up by rubbing your hands all over your arms and chest. You'd have better access to your nip...'

Sorry! Someone just jostled my arm. Accidentally hit send. Where was I? – JW'

'You were advising me to take off the t-shirt – I think you might be right, my breathing was getting a bit…ragged. T-shirt's off, and yes access to ALL areas much improved. – SH'

'Oh, and I noticed this morning you'd taken your oldest jeans – the ones with the interesting stress marks. Aren't they a little tight across the front? – SH

'Oh god! Yes! Very tight! In fact I just put my jacket across my lap to prevent others from noticing exactly how incredibly tight my jeans are. Are you rubbing your hands across your nipples? You might try pinching them just a little. I'm sure that will warm us both up. – JW'

'Not pinching – rolling. Rolling each one simultaneously between thumb and forefinger, it makes the blood rush to them and warms them up. I'm warmer now John, but I think you're hot! – SH'

'Now the lady across the aisle thinks I should see a doctor when I get off of the train. Apparently I'm looking flushed!

I think it would perhaps be a good idea if you remove your pyjama bottoms as well, Sherlock. You must be feeling a little constricted.

Did you lock the door to the flat? Not a good idea if Mrs. Hudson walks in whilst you are, er, warming up :D or god forbid, your brother. Lol! – JW'

'Tell the lady across the aisle you're spoken for – and anyway, I like the way your cheeks turn pink – I bet you're smiling too.

The only way to get these oh so constricting pyjama bottoms off is to slide my hands down my body, over my hip bones, hook my thumbs under the waistband and gently ease them down, thus releasing the constriction.

The door is locked, the curtains are closed, and the British Government's spycam has been disconnected – again. – SH'

'I am. Smiling. I told her I was a doctor and it's my natural colouring. And it is when I'm thinking of you:)

I want you to imagine it's my hands sliding over your body, over your hip bones. I want you to think about it being my thumbs under your waistband, brushing across your skin and I am ever so carefully lowering your pyjama bottoms. I want you to think about my lips caressing yours as I'm doing this. Are you imagining this Sherlock?' – JW'

'kijfiosdfjakl uiorioj fiojmorijioj – SSSSSSSSSSH'

'Sherlock? Are you okay? I don't think I've ever seen you text that before. – JW'

'I think I've short circuited, John. Hurry home! – SH'

'Soon! Very, very soon. Soon you will feel my lips on your neck. Soon my tongue will trace the edge of your ear. Soon I'll be able to personally take care of you. – JW'

'Close your eyes, John. Imagine me breathing into your ear, whispering your name, trembling under your hands. I think I may need a doctor….. – SH'

'Train's just pulling up to the station. In a few minutes I'll be throughout the door and by your side. I want you watching the door. When I come in I will start by removing my jacket, and then I'll pull off my jumper. The whole time I'll keep my eyes on your face as I unbutton my shirt, as I cross the floor and take off my shoes. I'll stand by the couch and you can take your hands and I want you to place them on my waist while I unzip my jeans. And Sherlock? Do you remember what I asked you in Buckingham Palace? When you were just wearing the sheet? Me neither. – JW'

'John…Run! – SH'