Neal was sculpting on the balcony under the city lights, he didn't turn at the approaching footsteps… he knew exactly who it was.
"Is it finished Moz?"
"Are you sure this is what you want to do?"
"I am." He raised his head from his project. "Is it finished?"
"It is." He shifted his weight between his feet "I can file it tomorrow if you are still set on this insane idea."
"I'm not going to change my mind." Neal smiled softly in the dark "this is my best plan ever."
The smaller man sighed and adjusted his glasses. He shook his head mournfully "Neal Caffrey PTA president…"
"I never said anything about the PTA."
"But they will suck you in Mon frère," another earth shattering sigh escaped the older man "They will suck you in.
"He's my son, Mozzie." Blue eyes pleaded for understanding "Is it so bad that I want to be a better father than…"
"No I suppose not." He shook his head "I don't suppose you could convince the boy to call me uncle Mozzie?" he managed a wan smile
"We'll see…"Neal shook his head with an affectionate grin. "Let's find out if this works first."
"It will work." The older man said confidently
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He sat rigidly on the bench outside the courtroom staring at the door… waiting for it to open. Beside him Nate shifted impatiently and Neal suppressed the urge to squirm along with the boy. Just last month they sat outside a court much the same way waiting to testify against Johnny Richards. He wasn't sure how much weight his own testimony carried but he had seen the horror on the jury's face's when Nate identified Richards as the man who kidnapped and hit him… holding him for a week with no food and barely enough water. Neal had been forced to swallow a desire to strangle the man.
"Ph̀x" the small voice wavered slightly pulling Neal from his silent contemplation of the court room door.
'Yes, Nate?"
"I'm going back to live with mama and dad today… right?" he took a breath and looked up at his father with bright blue eyes far too serious for his innocent young face. "Will I ever get to see you again?"
"Do you want to?" He met the teary gaze of his son his hands reaching out to straighten the kid's tie automatically. Neal, Peter and Mozzie had set this plan in motion but, he realized with a sharp pang of guilt they had never consulted the little boy. Maybe Nate didn't want a father that brought terrifying dangerous people into his world to be a part of his life. If he didn't… Neal knew it would feel like having his heart ripped out if the child's answer was no, but he would drop the plan here and now… it would hurt like no pain he had ever felt but he would walk away from his son without looking back… Wouldn't he? Neal was sure he was strong enough for that, but maybe he could tolerate only seeing the boy once or twice a year as provided by the open adoption. It wouldn't be enough but….
"I don't want you to go away Ph̀x." His small hand moved up to grip his father's fingers on his tie. "Promise you'll come see me sometimes at least."
"Of course I will." Neal couldn't contain the grin, his son wanted him. "I promise…maybe …" His voice trailed off he didn't want Nate to worry, or get his hopes to high. "I'll come see you as often as I can." His son wanted him to be a part of his life… Neal would move heaven and earth if he could to be that part, no matter how big or how small… he would never abandon the boy not for any reason… well, his darker thoughts interjected, there might be one reason… "One year or fifty…" rattled suddenly through his mind. He shook his head pushing the doctor's words aside, but he couldn't suppress a tiny shiver that ran up his spine. He gripped Nate's hand "I will be there for you whenever you need me Nate as long as I'm breathing…" And even after that if I can be he promised silently "I'll be there." The child smiled brightly.
"You two ready?" Peter's voice broke through his thoughts. With a nervous smile Neal pushed himself up from the bench and holding the little hand gently, he took a deep breath and faced the suddenly open door.
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He watched his friend rise a bit stiffly when the judge entered the room. Peter felt the tension radiating off the younger man. The urge to present the case for him rose in the agent but Neal had to do this himself. The gruff looking middle aged woman turned her gaze slowly from the Bryant's to Neal and back again. Still without comment she looked back at the file in her hands and shook her head.
"Mr. Caffrey I understand you have filed a petition for custody of the minor on the grounds that the adoption was not valid."
"Yes ma'am."
"May I ask what grounds you have for protesting am eight year old adoption?"
"As you can see, your honor, it is there in the petition. I was never informed of Nathen's birth. His birth certificate and the adoption records both contain my… a name I sometimes use-."
"An alias, you mean" the judge looked at his sternly. "I am aware of your criminal history Mr. Caffrey." Peter flinched at the coldness in her tone, but true to form Neal just smiled at the woman.
"Yes, your honor, an alias." He straightened his shoulders and met her gaze "the alias I used when I first met Nate's mother, but Kate was well aware of my real name before his birth. She chose to use my alias… for reasons unknown to me." He swallowed hard "Whatever her reasons she forged my signature on the documents and declined to inform me of the existence of our son… even though she saw me weekly from about a month after his birth for nearly four years."
"I see." The judge studied his face, clearly searching for signs of deception "how then did you discover the existence of the child?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Bryant told me about him."
"Really?" her tone was doubtful… derisive
"Yes ma'am." Neal met her disbelief surprising honesty "Since my release from prison I have worked for the FBI… Nathen had been kidnapped, they were desperate to get him back. They informed me about their adopted son in my role as a Bureau consultant."
"I see."
"Once Nate was rescued, due to circumstances they were unable to care for him for a while and they entrusted me with him for the last ten months."
"And you have decided to reward that trust by attempting to take him from them." Her look was bitter and hard. Peter noticed the Bryant's didn't appear much friendlier.
"Oh No, Your Honor!" Neal's voice was tinged with horror "Nathen adores his parents and they without a doubt love him. I could never separate them. I couldn't hurt my son or his parents that way!" Shock flashed across the judge's face at this outburst.
"Then what pray tell is the purpose of this petition Mr. Caffrey?" She asked after a moment of stunned silence.
"Your honor" he began softly but his eyes rested on the man and woman at the table across the aisle from him. "I am requesting the restoration of my parental rights and fifty percent custody."
"You want to split custody?"
"Yes Ma'am." Neal flicked his blue eyes back to the stern woman at the bench "I am willing to pay child support and Nathen's tuition to Manhattan Prep."
"In exchange for partial custody."
"Yes, your honor." He drew a deep breath "it may be selfish but honestly Nate is an incredible child… and I just can't let him go entirely… not without a fight."
"I see." She looked Neal over again and Peter thought he caught a glint of something that looked a bit like respect there. "Mr. and Mrs. Bryant would you be willing to discuss a split custody arrangement?"
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He poured himself into painting the room. June had been kind enough to let Nathen have the small bed room just down the hall from his own during the three months he lived with them. Repainting it gave his swirling mind something to focus on other than the future.
His life had changed and it would never be the same. Of that Neal was certain. He thought of the doctor's words often… his own physician had confirmed the diagnosis. It felt vaguely, he thought, like living with a time bomb inside his body… and he had no idea how much time was on the counter. That was a terrifying thought. He tried to push thoughts like that away whenever they reared up in his mind… an ominous cloud hanging over the horizon of his future. It was odd to find himself dwelling so much on his own mortality when he actually felt pretty good. Other than an occasional painful twinge in his hips and a deep throbbing ache in his left ankle when the weather changed he felt like he always had…young , alive and ready for anything, but that could all go away at his next doctor's appointment. His pulled his mind back to the positives… after all no one really knew how much time they had left… maybe this was a gift of sorts… a constant reminder that each day he got was a gift.
Neal considered who he should tell about the doctor's concerns but he kept coming back to the same conclusion…. There was no reason to worry the people he cared about with something that may never happen… he would tell them if it became an issue until then he had bigger concerns, because everything was different now.
He had to stay on the right side of the law now… he couldn't stray, no matter how much he was tempted, because running was no longer an option and prison would ruin everything. He wiped his hands… smiling at his work, the trim looked better with the paint color than he had hoped. Now he just needed to clean up and move everything back in. he wanted the room to be perfect for next week. That thought made his smile widen to a grin… Nathen was going to love this.
The arrangement was of course complicated… what custody agreement wasn't, Neal thought. Thirty-five percent custody was really better than he had dared hope for when they filed the petition. He got one week Monday through Sunday, then Ryan and Kim got two weeks. He didn't even want to sort out the complicated details about holidays. None of that really mattered though, in light of the fact that Nathen was now a permanent part of his life. The idea that he was really a father sometimes almost overwhelmed him. Neal sighed at that thought even as his heart swelled. He couldn't mess this up. He wouldn't mess this up… the stakes were way too high. His phone buzzed in his pocket.
"Hello?"
"Ph̀x?"
"Hey Nate." He grinned "how are you?"
"I can't wait to see you on Monday."
"Me either … I have a surprise for you."
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Watching his friend check his watch for the fifth time in ten minutes Peter felt an old unsettled feeling coil in his gut. Neal was acting like he was up to something. He had seen the signs before. Now though he didn't want to believe it. The young man couldn't blow it, not now. Peter had been proud of the kid the last few months, partial custody of his son seemed to trigger incredibly good behavior in Neal. He smiled at the thought… the younger man still blurred the lines a little to get the bad guy but he had stuck diligently to the straight and narrow in his personal life… until today.
"Hey Peter?" Neal suddenly asked looking up from the recovered sculpture he had been pretending to study. "Do you think I might be able to leave early today?"
"Is it the real piece?" he gestured to the odd looking statue
"Looks like it."
"Why do you need to leave?" the agent swept his own gaze over the sculpture "Are you sure?"
"I'm reasonably sure… as sure as I can be just by looking." Neal turned wide blue eyes on him suddenly all innocence. "There's a baseball game I want to go to…"
Peter nearly choked on his laugh… disbelief in every line of his face "You want to cut out of work early to go to a baseball game?"
"Yes I do."
"Why do I highly doubt that?" he sighed "What's really going on Neal?"
"I really want to go to a game…Peter you know I don't make a habit of lying to you."
"Neal…" his voice picked up a warning edge.
"What? Tell me if you had a kid with a piece in an art show you would be there." His eyes sparkled with mischief as he grinned.
"This is about Nate?"
"Ryan signed him up for little league… it's his first game." Neal's smile brightened "I promised him I would be there."
"What time is the game?"
"5:30"
"It's five o'clock now… you're going to have to hurry to make it."
"I know… can I go?" his whole body practically twitched with anticipation.
"How about I give you a ride?" Suddenly, to Peter, it all made perfect sense.
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Authors Note: thank you for sticking with me through this story... if you made it through to the end please drop me a note and let me know what you thought. I also want to mention I don't own these characters but the are fun to play with. A special thanks to my editor and co author ... couldn't do it without you.