Note: The fact that I'm posting this means two things: 1: I'm back to complete TSFMS and Mello of Love (both in the next weeks), 2: TSFMS's ending is almost fully written.
I thought that I would write it completely before posting anything because I want to make it perfect, but then, I also thought that a little chapter to make the wait shorter wouldn't hurt :)
Expect less than 10 chapters before it's over, though.
Right after that I'll be back to Mello of Love. The rhythm for posting chapters will be once or twice a week at least from now on. Once we reach the end of bth those fics, I'll be back to Lithium and will start a new multichaptered story.

Sorry it took so long, lots of shit happened starting in October, lots of health problems for me and my husband, lots of hospital, lots of deaths around us too, and then my career as a pro writer took a speed start and I have to cram article after article and, even if it's a really great thing, it's also really time consuming.

In case you care for that kind of fact, I'm now paid for my writing, something that happened thanks to YOU, my dear readers and reviewers, you helped me improve and see that there was nothing more I wanted as a job than the possibility to write. I'm still working on my novels, and I also have the chance to write articles for awesome people :D
Making a living out of writing is a dream come true, and I want to give you all a massive hug for the support you showed me since 2009 (wow, 6 years!)
So THANK YOU EVERYONE, I LOVE YOU!
Cheers to many more years here, are you with me? :D

Matt
I wish I could have stayed on the phone with Mihael. I mean, all the time. Even just hearing him shuffle or breathe on the other end of the line would have comforted me. As long as I could hear him meant he was alive, at least...

I smoked almost half a pack of cigarette in a row after he was forced to hang up and I would have smoked even more if my throat didn't suddenly start to hurt.
Out of frustration, I contemplated hammering the door with my fists once more but I was exhausted, both from fear and whatever they were giving me, and it wouldn't change anything so I just laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling, or at least what I could see of it in the dark.

I fell asleep not long after they gave me my dinner, and woke up completely frozen, shaking, my head killing me. I barely had the time to run to the bathroom, knocking my foot several times along the way because I could barely hold myself up, before I threw up bile, my stomach hurting like hell.
Someone came to check on me at some point, and helped me back to the bed.

A doctor came a moment later, but concluded that I just had smoked too much and the heavy dose of nicotine along with the tranquillizers had made a bad mix. So they took my cigarettes. Seriously?!
Great. Awesome. I was probably about to go crazy now, for real.

I had to beg for something to keep me busy: TV, games, anything, and promised that I wouldn't ruin anything this time. And I suspect they took a little revenge by making me beg more than necessary before they brought me a PS Vita. I numbed myself with Mario the best I could, but the plumber was a cold comfort in the current situation.

Days passed, nine if I had counted right, and I tried to be cool with my captors, first because I was past throwing tantrums that didn't lead anywhere, and second because on them depended my pitiful solace and they seemed to love me begging for new games. Bastards. Oh well, that was probably even with the way I had treated them in the beginning so I couldn't even hold it against them.

The cops guarding Mihael were controlling the length of my calls to him and for that, I was still holding a grudge. I knew that he was just as scared as me, and although I tried not to let my own fears taint my tone or words, sometimes, it was just so obvious that he would cry on the other end of the line, because we would just go silent, running out of conversation fillers. Everything was bringing us back to our case and pretending to chit chat would quickly sound awfully fake.

Mello
Each time I had Mail on the phone, I wanted to scream. It all felt as if we were stuck, waiting for something to happen and nothing was happening.
Not that I was up for what was supposed to come for us, but no matter how much Mail or me asked around us, no one could tell us how long this would last, or if we would have to live like that forever if nothing happened, just because it could happen.

Sometimes I could sleep, just because my body couldn't take it anymore, but most of the time, nights were sleepless, and I couldn't even shift my position so it was slowly beginning to render me nervous, and all the more aggressive with the people around me. I tried to stay nice with my nurse because she really was a kind person, but she was understanding enough to act as she hadn't heard my harsh tone when I would unconsciously snap at her.

It was long, too long. I was now really eager for the situation to move on, scared but eager, because it was a total nonsense to keep Mail locked like that. It was different for me since I had to stay in this hospital anyway, so with or without the threat, I was stuck here, but I could feel Mail lose a little sanity each day, and I dreaded his calls everyday, to the point that I would have felt better if they didn't happen. Hearing him each afternoon, being reminded that he was helpless to protect me made me feel all at once terrified, because somehow knowing he wasn't out there ready to be by my side made me feel extremely lonely, all by myself with my parents holding my lifeline at the tip of their fingers, and also really sick, because I could feel his pain, the way captivity wrecked his mind, and I couldn't take it.

But each time we hung up, everything was erased. Just hearing his voice would give me hope again. We had to make it out, I wanted to believe there was a happy ending to this. We had gone a long way... I had wanted him so much, and he had walked a thin line just to meet me there, he might have grown up a lot since we had met, but I had too, and I didn't want this to be for nothing.

There was some fuss outside my room all of a sudden, just as I was giving the phone back to the cop as he came back in the room to make me end my call.
The curtains were closed so I couldn't see more than shadows on the other side, and the voices weren't distinct enough for me to catch a word of what was being said. The fact that the guy didn't go back outside didn't bode well to me. He just stood there, waiting, but I didn't miss the fact that he had his hand on the gun tucked at his side.

My heart started beating, fast. I was scared shitless, and at the same time relieved that this was happening after I had hung up with Mail because, had I given away the current situation, he would be going crazy over there and I didn't want him to be in a state even worse than what it was right now.

All I could fathom was that there was more than the other cop on the other side of the door. They were usually four, but from the moment one would come and give me a phone to make my daily call to Mail, one would leave, then the second one would go too as the phone was fetched back, and two new guys would then arrive so the remaining cops would leave too. One hour or so later, two more would join them again.
So there should be only one or two at the moment, but there was too much noise to be only two of them.

I recognised Andreas' voice finally, as he approached the door giving orders to the cops, and opened it to signal the one next to me to come outside. The guy nodded and left, but to my dismay, Andreas glanced at me really quickly before closing the door again. I was nowhere near being informed of what was going on. Fuck.

I tried to calm down, it was probably nothing.

Four days later, I realised that one of the cops hadn't come back. They would usually take turns to give me or take back the phone, and I knew the guys, if not by name, at least by faces. And one was not on duty anymore for four days. I didn't really care who was there to guard me, and the new guy that replaced him was as good as another, but it sent me a bad feeling because the mood, that wasn't particularly jolly before, had gone down even more, everyone seemed on edge and it wasn't helping with my own anxiety.

I didn't think much of it until two days more. It was very unlikely the guy had taken days off, not with the current situation. So I asked to see Andreas. I hadn't seen him for days except for the quick appearance he had made the other day, and it wasn't until the day after that he showed up.

"Sorry that I kept you waiting." he said as a greeting, when he entered the room.
"Better late than never." I mumbled, not up for accepting an apology, "What's going on?"
"Straight to the point." he replied, but where there would usually be a chuckle, his voice just kept the same tone, void of any will to lighten the mood.
"You didn't come just to tell me to accept the fact that we're all stuck where we are and to wait for them to move, so talk."
"Gardner... one of the cops, he was found dead in the underground parking last week."

I swallowed with difficulty, feeling a lump in my throat. Shit was getting real and if I thought I was scared before, it was nothing compared to the terror I was feeling now. And, well, a man had died, and I felt guilty.

"They are sending a warning. They have guys in here."
"Does Mail know?"
"Do you think we're stupid? Or cruel? Of course he doesn't know. He won't get any information until it's all over."

Andreas didn't have to tell me, I knew from the look in his eyes and the way he wasn't even trying to be nice that I'd better not be the one to tell Mail anything. I wouldn't have, anyway, because it would only make it worse for him. It would be hard because there was no one I could talk to that could support me, but I had to keep it shut for his sanity.
It was probably why Andreas had come: he knew I would always talk about my concerns with Mail and wanted to make sure I wouldn't, this time.

"So, are you going to take me away from here?"
"No. Not for the moment. What happened might just be an attempt at making us move you from here, and risk being in the open, so they could have a better chance at getting at you. They also might be trying to reach to you little by little by infiltrating the place and kill each time they have the possibility to do so to lessen the amount of people around you."
"So in all cases we're fucked, that's what you're saying?"
"It's still safer here for now. I strongly believe that whatever the manoeuvre is, they're trying to make you get out of here, either by scaring us with killings, or by lack of trust in the guys in charge of you."
"You mean you don't know who's trustworthy and who's not?"
"The four cops, well, three now, I am sure of, the new one too. It's the hospital staff that's the problem now. And if we have to recruit guards in other branches, there might be rats, even with all the care we put in recruitment."

We stayed silent for a moment. I didn't even know what to say. It felt like a trap closing on me, because no matter the 'we' and the 'us' and the 'they', it was still about me, my possible death, not theirs, or at least not directly. Yes, I was sad that someone had died, it was not my fault but still, I felt guilty. But I could turn this over and over, in the end, I was seeing me dead. I couldn't deny it anymore: I had lost hope.

"Medically speaking, when am I supposed to get out of here?"
"You could get out, actually. Your head scan shows nothing to worry anymore, your ribs are fine, your lung had time to heal, and your arms and hands' plasters will be removed soon. Only your legs will take a lot more time and you'll probably be stuck in a wheelchair for months, but Zimmerman cleared your exit authorisation."
"You've got everything planned."
"That's what I'm supposed to do in case you forgot."
"Hmm".

I breathed, trying not to scream. I was cleared. I could get out. Not walk, and I would probably have to come back here for a lot of rehab before I could walk again... if I could do that again one day, but now, on top of all the current shit, I knew that if it wasn't for this fucking death threat, I would be out, enjoying a life outside of the hospital with Mail and driving him crazy with insane demands just for the sake of spiting him, and I would beg him to wear a female nurse costume...

I couldn't refrain the tears, and to my surprise, Andreas' hand found my shoulder, pressing it to comfort me.