MapleleafCameo and I would like to thank Lucy36 for bravely stepping in to play our Mycroft – if you haven't already read Lucy's work then hurry and read it now! But do come back afterwards to read this!

To make it easier to understand we have a key to the texts:
Texts To Mycroft (bold italics)

Texts To Sherlock (italics)

Texts To John (standard typeface - underlined)

TEXTS TO MORE THAN ONE RECIPIENT (Standard typeface UPPER CASE)

xXx

'Mycroft, some bloke just came here looking for you. - JW'

'STOP DISSECTING THAT PACKAGE, SHERLOCK. - MH'

'Wait - What? Is Sherlock with you Mycroft? What's he doing there? I thought he was getting the shopping - JW'

'You can't tell me what to do. Besides it's my package - SH'

'SHERLOCK, MYCROFT, ARE YOU TWO IN THE SAME ROOM TEXTING EACH OTHER? – JW'

'What is going on? I thought you were going to the shop. What is this package Mycroft is on about? - JW'

'And why has he ignored the fact that some bloke called here for him? - JW

'Sherlock - you've not been pretending to be your brother again have you? - JW'

"Of course we are in the same room, John, don't be obtuse. How else do you think he knew I was fiddling with this package. SH."

'And it's a surprise. For later. Tonight. When my git of a brother has left us alone - SH "

'Sherlock, may I remind you that you are the one invading my Club ? - MH'

'OH, MY... BEST WARN MRS HUDSON TO STAY OUT OF YOUR FLAT TONIGHT... - MH'

'So, who's this bloke then, Mycroft? Shall I describe him? Might jog your memory...Tall, mid thirties, seems to like torn bleached denim and Calvin Klein aftershave - JW'

'Mycroft? You okay? That last text sounded...weird - JW'

"I had to send the package here to avoid spoiling the surprise." SH

"And mind your own business. SH'

'Ignore him. He has obviously forgotten that Mrs Hudson is at her sister's. You can be as loud as you want - SH '

'I'M SURPRISED SHERLOCK DIDN'T TAIL THIS ONE. ISN'T IT WHAT YOU DO, BROTHER ? – M

'Who is he then, Mycroft? And why is he looking for you here? – JW'

'Think John. What exactly did he say ? - MH'

'Do you mean before or after he tried to force his way in? He insisted on seeing you, and said something about not being picked up and put down like a bloody toy. – JW

'I apologise for the inconvenience. Did you offer him the information he requested? - MH'

'No I bloody didn't! You're the British Government, Mycroft – that's tantamount to bloody treason! – JW'

'Anyway, he was bloody crying – and he didn't specifically ask where you were, so I felt justified in saying nothing – JW'

'I see. Thank you, John. - MH'

'May I borrow the contents of your package ? - MH'

'No you may not! It is for John. I have something special in mind! And you are not going to ruin it. SH'

'John, has that man left the flat yet? I will be home soon and I have plans! SH'

'Oh dear god - what do you plan now? And no, he's lurking over the road watching the flat - he didn't believe me when I said Mycroft wasn't here - JW

'One item, and I'll get Marcus away. He can be very... persistent.' MH'

'John, invite him in. I'm on my way. - MH'

Oh no….Oh no, no, no. We are NOT hosting an orgy for you and your bit of rough – JW'

'Fine! But I want to use the room with the water bed and the hot tub at the house sometime.' SH

'Did you know your brother wants an orgy at our flat? - JW'

'We have a deal. And tell your boyfriend to kindly not include me in his commoner fantasies. MH'

'I was actually asking him if I could use his private suit…for us, John. I do not intend on sharing you with anyone..ever!SH'

'I doubt he would be interested in the likes of you - SH'

'I am on my way. I want you naked and laying on the bed waiting for me - SH '

'But what about the boyfriend? - JW'

'Get your 'friend away from John! SH'

'Close the curtains so he can't see from across the street and the bedroom door! I will be 10 minutes! SH'

'Stop your childish fretting and get in the car. You know it is faster. - MH'

'Childish? Childish! I'm not the one picking up flotsam from off the street. -SH'

'No, you pick your flotsam from Bart's, much better... - MH'

'Mycroft is driving me over. You'd better be naked! - SH'

'Oh God, I'm ready! – JW'